Learning to be a Godly Wife: Household Chores are Acts of Love

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Learning to be a Godly Wife

Household Chores are Acts of Love

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Doing household chores can be a major point of tension for a couple, especially when both are working outside the home. How do you cope? If there has been a silent battle on who is going to do a particular chore, view doing your part as an act of love.

Chores are a necessary part of keeping a home running decently and in order. It takes teamwork to make a household work. While the discussion of who will do what chore continues through the life of a marriage, when a couple is newly married or in a transition, it is a good time to set a positive tone when working to keep the house clean.

Share your preferences

The first step in figuring out who will be doing what chores is to have open and honest communication about what chores you like and dislike. Your husband may avoid wiping off the counters but vacuuming doesn’t bother him. You may turn your nose up at taking out the trash but not mind folding the laundry. Share what you like and work out between yourselves who will do what jobs you both do not like doing. Perhaps you divide up that specific chore!

Frequency for doing chores also matters. Express and establish how important or perhaps unimportant it is to have the house sparkling clean at the end of each day, each week or when company arrives. A new job or having a baby are examples of transitions where there may be changes in who does what chores for a time.

Encourage and show appreciation

Once there has been an open sharing on the topic, it is good to note that both men and women thrive off words of encouragement. My sister gave me some excellent advice on how to encourage my husband concerning chores around the house. She said, in the first few months of marriage, when your husband does something that you would want him to repeat, throw a “party” in his name! Make up a little song and sing it, “He’s my loving man, he just cleaned out the trash can!” Give him a big hug. Do a cartwheel.

While for some, doing acrobatics may be taking it a bit out of hand, express your thanks in a way that is sincere and truly encouraging for your husband. Flip the situation around and think, when I have to wash those huge grimy pans, wouldn’t I like to have some excitement in the air? Have appreciation lavished upon me especially when I am doing something I strongly dislike or even just find mildly annoying? Personally I soak it up when my husband gives me a hug and says, "Thank you for doing the dishes." God says to show appreciation to whom it is due (Proverbs 3:27). We all have the power to express appreciation.

A servant’s heart

Of course we all have different personalities and some people need more words of affirmation while others need more concrete actions. Try view doing chores as a proactive way to serve your spouse and family (Philippians 2:3-5). Focus on it as being an act of love; one which you will continue doing even if you do not receive acknowledgement. Matthew 6 talks about giving to the needy. I submit that your family or spouse is in need of help if the house is in disarray. Honoring others with our words is a reward but even if you do not receive encouraging words, remember God will not forget your act of service.  

Whistle while you work

Finally, maintain a positive attitude. For all the chores you find your spouse doesn’t do, whistle a happy tune and get them out of the way yourself as quickly as possible. Play music. Make it a workout so you don’t have to go to the gym later. Also, keep in mind that God loves a cheerful giver! He also tells us to be joyful always, giving thanks in all circumstances (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).

Whether you have just gotten married, just had children, or had a major life-changing event, the way chores are handled can change. But during those times of transition, it is important to approach the solution with effective communication, words of encouragement and a positive attitude. Ecclesiastes 4:6 says, “It’s better to have a partner than go it alone. Share the work, share the wealth” (MSG). Remember, not only does keeping a clean home have many benefits such as providing a safe haven for your family; it is an opportunity for you and your partner to grow together in unity and purpose.

 

Of course these are only a small collection of thoughts on the subject. I am sure there are many wives and husbands who have excellent advice on how to deal with the division of household labor. Please share! (No complaining).

   *What do you do that encourages your spouse to help you keep a clean home?

   *What are your words of advice for getting the chores done?