Understanding what the other person means is the heart and core of listening. Being attentive is one key.

"Effective attending works wonders in human relations. It shows the other that you are interested in him and in what he has to say. It facilitates the expression of the most important matters on his mind and his heart. Nonattending, on the other hand, tends to thwart the speaker's expression" (Robert Bolton, People Skills, 1986, p. 33).

To improve this skill, concentrate on good eye contact, leaning slightly toward the person, not crossing your arms or fidgeting or using other body language that says "I'm bored or not listening."

If you make the person feel like the center of your attention, he or she will feel more understood and appreciated (1 Corinthians 13:4).