Does God address how a husband and wife should make love to each other?
The Bible teaches the clear principle that sexual intercourse is the supreme expression of love between a husband and wife: "Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral" (Hebrews:13:4, New International Version).
Thus, the Bible forbids all sexual relations outside of marriage (Exodus:20:14; 1 Corinthians:6:18). But the Scriptures don't specifically address what is acceptable lovemaking within marriage, including the question of oral sex.
It is not up to the Church to determine exactly how a married couple should express conjugal love to each other. The book of Song of Solomon, for instance, describes a great variety of lovemaking between a husband and a wife. It is thus up to the couple to determine how to express their love. Following the biblical principles, a godly couple should not engage in what either spouse feels is a wrongful expression of that love. Marital intimacy is a time for a husband and wife to be fully considerate of each other.
All should be conscious of the fact that their judgment is influenced by their culture and their background, and that these influences aren't always godly. Believers should allow scriptures such as those mentioned above to be their guiding influence. Christ inspired this summary of the matter: "It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God" (1 Thessalonians:4:3-5, NIV).
These thoughts can help you and your spouse decide how to express your love to each other.
For more information, please read our booklet Marriage and Family: The Missing Dimension.