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Men's and Women's Vulnerabilities

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Speaking for men, Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker write: “We have a visual ignition switch when it comes to viewing the female anatomy” ( Every Man’s Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time , 2000, p. 57).

The godly answer for men is to control what they view. Recognizing this male trait, Jesus taught that “whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28 Matthew 5:28But I say to you, That whoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.
American King James Version×

To guard against this vulnerability, Job said, “I made a solemn pact with myself never to undress a girl with my eyes” (Job 31:1 Job 31:1I made a covenant with my eyes; why then should I think on a maid?
American King James Version×
, The Message). Godly men need to avoid pornography and looking at women with sexual desire.

Writing to women, Shannon Ethridge explains: “While a man’s battle begins with what he takes in through his eyes, a woman’s begins with her heart and her thoughts. A man must guard his eyes to maintain sexual integrity, but because God made women to be emotionally and mentally stimulated, we must closely guard our hearts and minds as well as our bodies if we want to experience God’s plan for sexual and emotional fulfillment” ( Every Woman’s Battle: Discovering God’s Plan for Sexual and Emotional Fulfillment , 2003, p. 13).

Continuing, Ethridge says that these differences explain “why it’s said that men give love to get sex and women give sex to get love.” Proverbs 4:23 Proverbs 4:23Keep your heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.
American King James Version×
says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life” (NIV). Godly women must refrain from giving away their hearts until it is appropriate for them to do so in marriage.