Learning to be a Godly Wife - The Blessings of Prayer

Submitted May 10, 2012

Learning to be a Godly Wife—The Blessings of Prayer
A godly wife knows the power of prayer

Source: Photos.com

I am new to this institution called marriage and a novice when it comes to saying and doing all the “right” things in this covenant relationship.

Each day I grow and each day I learn how to think and act within the context of being a devoted wife. So as I go through experiences on my journey, I thought I would share some of my lessons on becoming the kind of wife I want to be for my husband—a godly wife.

A wife’s role

First and foremost, a wife is her husband’s helper (Genesis:2:18). She is someone who aids and assists her husband regularly. A wife is a strong defender for her husband and a warrior with her husband in the physical and spiritual battles of life.

For a wife to fulfill her role, it is good to refer to the Proverbs 31 woman, who is a godly woman. If you read Proverbs 31 you will find the list of a righteous woman’s characteristics.

How can a wife help her husband? One of the noblest things a wife can do is not to nag her husband into becoming a better man but to make intercession for him at the throne of God. Praying for your husband can support, encourage and strengthen him. The power of prayer can change your life and your relationship with your husband!

A prayer answered

The past few months I made it a goal to pray for my husband. My wonderful Aunt Brenda suggested a book that had various sections and thoughts on what I could pray in order to help my husband. Some aspects were: his purpose or job, his protection, his spirituality. Each night I would pray for a specific area in his life, and in the morning, I would pray that his day be blessed.

One recent situation that came up for my husband was his work. He would come home frustrated and drained. He was doing his best to separate the stress and negativity of his work environment, but I could see it was weighing him down. I began trying to help by offering my thoughts on how to better deal with his co-workers, how he could beef up his resume and so on. To my surprise, this did not seem to be the best method of encouragement for my husband, and it did the exact opposite of helping him. The more I said, the more unenthusiastic he became.

I decided I needed to stop talking and start praying. I prayed that God would lead him, give him wisdom, understanding, patience and success. Soon after, he started looking for jobs. It seemed this was where God was leading him. I prayed that he would get interviews and they would go well—especially for the job that God wanted him to have. Sure enough, he got calls for interviews! The first interview was for a job with very little pay, the second too far away and finally the third happened last week.

I remember praying throughout the day. When I would take breaks at work, I would go to pray in the bathroom stall. I wanted to be as it says in Romans:12:12—constant, devoted, earnest and persistent in praying for him. I asked my immediate family and Church family to pray for him knowing their close relationship with God, and I was convinced that the prayers of the righteous would avail much (James:5:16).

That day I came home, and he stood up from the couch as I opened the door. “I have a new job!” His stress had melted away and it had been replaced by exuberant joy in his eyes. This job was higher paying and more along the lines of his career path. Not only did his job change, but he asked how he could make my life easier in the week ahead. He did things around the house that he hadn’t done, and we spent more time together just talking.

When you don’t know what to do—pray

The main lesson I have learned in the past few months is that sometimes the best thing you can do for your husband is to pray for him. Become disciplined in making these prayers focused on what he needs. I would often find myself thinking of basic proverbs and pray, “Help him to walk with wise men” (Proverbs:13:20). I would pray, “Help him to be patient and a man of understanding” (Proverbs:14:29). Look for promises in the Bible and ask God to fulfill His Word. God says you can ask for wisdom, and He will give it in James:1:5. I claim that promise for myself and for my husband.

A symbiotic relationship

Prayer can bolster your husband’s faith and his relationship with God. However the blessing of prayer is that it not only produces positive change in others that you are praying for, but prayer changes you. It develops living faith in your life. Because you see your prayers being answered, it helps you learn to be the kind of woman that God wants you to be and the kind of wife that your husband wants to have. So as you pray for your husband, you are changing too! God is helping your husband and you! Both of your relationships with God are improved through your prayers as a wife.

Final note

The role of a wife includes praying for her husband—not just on his off-days but on a consistent basis. It is our role to help him in the physical and spiritual battles of life and our responsibility to know how to use the powerful discipline of prayer. It may be the best gift you can give!

“Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is worth more than precious rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life” (Proverbs:31:10-11).

Enrich your husband’s life by endeavoring to pray for him. Use prayer as a tool to overcome your own selfish nature so that you can grow closer to being that capable and virtuous wife.

Blog posts do not undergo review by the doctrinal review team of the United Church of God. This post represents the personal opinion of the author and should not be considered the official stance of the United Church of God. If you have any questions or concerns please direct them to webmaster@ucg.org.

Katherine Rowland

Katherine Rowland's picture

Great post! I would add that one of the wonderful ways that prayer for your husband changes you is that you are actively seeking what he needs instead of what you want him to have. If you just pray for him to change, you're not really praying for him, you're praying for you--but as you model, if you're praying for him, you're trying to understand exactly what he needs in order to be who God wants him to be.


triciabrown's picture

It always seems like God is speaking to me through this website. I find that almost everytime (which is at least once a day) I always find some article or video that pertains to my questions or my struggles in life. Today it is this blog. My husband is stuck in a very low pay job, and we are struggling bad. He may have another job which would pay considerably more but would require him to work 12 hrs a day 7 days a week. He wants the job for the more pay but does not want to work the Sabbath. He has asked me for my opinion on the topic and I told him I could not answer that for him that only God could answer that for him. I have been stuck wondering what I should do as his wife, and staying out of it isnt working. We really need the money but not at the consequences for working the Sabbath. This blog has really helped me alot, for now I know what I need to do to help my husband make the right decisions for himself, our family and God! Thanks!!

Heather Disher

Heather Disher's picture

Thanks for your post, Sabrina! I am so glad you wrote it, this is also my most important advice for new wives! You learned it on your own much quicker than most of us do, I think :o). I have found that for me the most important point is "When you don't know what to do, Pray." There have been so many times when I felt helpless to improve my husband's mood, outlook, stress level, and we have had many trials that seemed just hopeless. I wish I had known sooner what an enormous impact my prayers would have on our lives! We have also seen amazing, immediate, and tangible answers to prayers, too many to count! We have a joke now that if Tom has a really good day, he'll come home and say "You must have prayed extra hard for me today"- and he's always right! :o)


moodyjl's picture

Great article! You've really articulated a great 'gift' that we can give to our husbands!


GodsBarbie's picture

Im new hear an praiseing God ,that finaly grounded prinsapals in love an His spirt are so over flowing an how amazing he truly is blooms all over this place in family!!! i love u all an will keep u an yours in my prays.thank u for being u in God in every way <3


koch's picture

There's wonderful citation from Proverbs of the Holy Bible about woman.

Proverbs 19: 14 .. " House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the Lord."

About a prudent wife from the Lord is detailed in Proverbs 31: 10-31v

What she does to her husband, her family and how financially aggressive she would be for the upkeep of the family, how compassionate, benevolent she would be ...., all that what LORD expects from a virtuous woman in the Holy matrimony.

- Koch

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