How to Be a Godly Woman



It isn't easy to be a godly person in an ungodly world, but the effort is well worth our trouble. Here are some principles to help young women do just that.

 One of the major trials for young women today is to be virtuous and pure in the sight of God. There is a constant message being thrown at us—the media is screaming that women should wear provocative apparel, be overly flirtatious all the time and be sexually active in order to be desirable to men. This false display is not what God wants for His daughters. He knows that it takes strength, determination and faith in Him to reject the modern-day expectations of women and young girls and to be what He expects.

We women need to learn at a young age what kind of dress is appropriate. God tells us that we should be modest, inspiring Paul to write that women of God should "adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works" (1 Timothy:2:9-10).

These verses do not mean that we cannot wear jewelry and fine clothing, but that we should wear these things with moderation and that our clothing shouldn't reveal too much of us. God does not frown upon a nice pair of pearl earrings or the gold ring you received from your parents, but He does not approve of a gaudy display of your wealth. He does not want us to flaunt ourselves with many diamonds and jewels but to remain appropriate for the occasion.

To show off our bodies by wearing revealing and clinging garments is not what God wants either. The way we dress says a lot about our character. What do you think of a woman who wears a microminiskirt and a tube top? Many celebrities do and look at them—they are rich and everyone seems to love them. But are they truly happy? Most celebrity marriages do not last more than a few years. Sex appeal does not mean lasting happiness in marriage.

Speech and conduct

Our speech and how we conduct ourselves also reveal who we really are. "Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing," says Proverbs:31:30. To be charming is not a bad quality, but it shouldn't be used to deceive others. If we use it to cut a deal or to give someone a certain impression that is false, we're lying. It is very important to be honest with everyone, including God!

A godly woman is not prideful and does not think of herself above others who may be less fortunate. "She extends her hand to the poor, Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy," says Proverbs:31:20.

A godly woman is also faithful to God. She reads her Bible and studies it regularly; she goes to church every week. Proverbs:31:18 says that a virtuous woman's "lamp does not go out by night," which means that she works hard as well as living in the truth of God.

Marriage

Ultimately, dating leads to marriage. I know, I know. This thought is probably not at the front part of our brains right now. Hey, we're young; we don't need to rush into marriage. However, we should be preparing ourselves for it. Each of us young ladies should be preparing to be a good and virtuous wife for our husband.

Proverbs:31:10 says that "a virtuous wife…is far above rubies." Even thousands of years ago, God knew that not all women portrayed godly qualities and that a good wife is far above the worth of any gem or highly esteemed valuable. Some day, ladies, it is likely that we will be wives. And in order to be good wives, we must display and live godly morals.

A worthy wife seeks forgiveness and repentance. On the path to baptism we are supposed to want forgiveness and to repent of our sins. Though baptism is not required before marriage, it is highly recommended. The most important thing in a marriage and in life is our commitment to God. And if we don't have that close relationship to God, we will not have as happy and as loving a marriage as God wants us to have.

Furthermore, to be good wives to our husbands, we must be trustworthy. Note Proverbs:31:11: "The heart of her husband safely trusts her." If our husband cannot trust us—to not go behind his back and do something disgraceful—then we are not in a healthy relationship and our marriage may not last.

Women are not to rule over their husbands and be the ones who make all of the decisions, though we should definitely be a part of the decision-making process. God made Adam before Eve and made the woman for the man—not the man for the woman.

Women are to be "submissive to your own husbands" (1 Peter:3:1). To be submissive means to be obedient and respectful; it does not mean that women should take abuse from their husbands or allow them to hurt them or their children in any way. It means that wives are to allow their husbands to be the head of the household as God intended.

Some of these principles may be a little hard to understand or take if marriage is not in your near future. However they are something that we women should keep in mind and hold close to our hearts. Remember that God is the one who has made these commands and that He is perfect in every way. He knows how to make our lives happy and prosperous. He would never do anything to hurt us. VT


Veritas

Veritas's picture

No offense, but where in the scripture is the following stated [?]:

"Women are not to rule over their husbands and BE THE ONES WHO MAKE ALL OF THE DECISIONS, though we should definitely be a part of the decision-making process.

It is amazing how the Word of the LORD has been mangled to present the illusion that woman is to share in his Elohim-given authority. For woman to be equal to man, is for man to be equal to Elohim.

"WOMEN ARE NOT TO RULE THEIR HUSBANDS....AND BE THE ONES WHO MAKE ALL OF THE DECISIONS...?"

The Word of the LORD states that the woman is not to make ANY DECISIONS, but follow their husbands who are the Priests!

G-d/Elohim did not make man and woman to be equal. He made man to represent Him, and as a type of Elohim, gave him authority over the creatures [including woman] and creation.

"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord." [Eph. 5:22]

"AS UNTO THE LORD"..?

For a woman to be subject to the LORD, is for her to be subject in all things, not a few!

"Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so LET THE WIVES BE SUBJECT TO THEIR OWN HUSBANDS IN EVERYTHING." [Eph 5:24]

For a woman to be "SUBJECT TO THEIR OWN HUSBANDS IN EVERYTHING" is for the man to not be subject to the woman, as the LORD is not subject, in any manner.

These are some of the false doctrines of Christianity.

"The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; 4That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 5To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, OBEDIENT TO THEIR HUSBANDS, that the word of God be not blasphemed." [Titus 2:3-5]

Now, you go and show these women, one scripture which states that the husband is to be obedient or subject to the woman.

You cannot find it, for it is not there!

"THOUGH WE SHOULD DEFINITELY BE A PART OF THE DECISION-MAKING PROCESS"..?

There is not one scripture which states that their is a decision-making process, but that we are led by the Holy Spirit of Elohim Who leads and guides His people through faith in His Word.

"For as many as are led by the Spirit of G-d/Elohim, these are the sons of G-d/Elohim". [Romans 8:14]

If you are led, you only need trust blindly that the LORD will lead!

Shalom!




Veritas

Veritas's picture

The comment of, "Women are not to rule over their husbands and be the ones who make all of the decisions, though we should definitely be a part of the decision-making process." is 100% unbiblical!

Women are not to ever share in the authority given by the LORD, to the man.

"Wives, SUBMIT yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord." [Eph 5:22]

The word "SUBMIT" means "to be under authority to".

The term "AS UNTO THE LORD", means that as the LORD is to rule man, so the man is to rule the woman:

"..and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee." [Gen 1:16b]

"AND HE SHALL RULE OVER THEE"?

"Therefore as the church is SUBJECT unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing."[Eph 5:24]

The word "SUBJECT" means "to be ruled".

To enhance this, let's look at the total comment, "BE SUBJECT..IN EVERYTHING!"

How can the man be said to be "SUBJECT" to the wife in anything, if the wife is to "SUBMIT" and then be "SUBJECT TO THEIR OWN HUSBANDS IN EVERYTHING"?

Shalom!




Steven Britt

Steven Britt's picture

Veritas,

I think you're taking this the wrong way and/or not thinking through what it means for a wife to be obedient in all things.

Women should most definitely be making some decisions without the direct aid of their husbands, and I submit Proverbs 31:10-31 (the "virtuous wife" passage) as clear scriptural proof. It says that a husband should be able to "safely trust her," and that she does many things to provide for the good of the family that don't seem to require the husband's direct command. Take particular consideration of verse 16: "She considers a field and buys it; From her profits she plants a vineyard." Furthermore, verse 20 says: "She extends her hand to the poor, Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy." Both of these verses (as well as the tone of the entire passage) indicate a level of autonomy that you seem opposed to.

As you rightly state, men are required to be obedient to God in all things. In the same way that a man learns the ways of God and should make decisions in line with God's ways, so also a woman should learn the ways of her husband and make decisions that are pleasing to him. The husband need not micro-manage his wife. Also, a woman led by God's spirit should be able to offer wise counsel to her husband (Proverbs 31:26) on a variety of matters. While the ultimate left-or-right decision making power lies with the husband, it is wise for him to seek wise counsel, and if his wife is wise, as she ought to be by the grace of God, then he ought to seek her counsel.

Wives shouldn't disobey their husband's decisions unless it conflict's with God's way. As a balance, husbands shouldn't lord their authority over their wives because that's not God's way (Matthew 20:25-28). Submission in marriage is not micromanagement of the wife's affairs and it's not a disregard for the input of the wife in considering a matter.




Ivan Veller

Ivan Veller's picture

Veritas,

I’d respectfully suggest that “our attitude toward our marriage…should be that of…striving to…‘submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.’…as we show honor to one another, we honor Christ” (“Speaking of Marriage,” Roland 2009). http://www.ucg.org/christian-living/speaking-marriage/

“[I]f our families are founded on the Word of God…[p]arents need to set the example for their children by practicing sharing in their own lives” (“Sharing vs. Selfishness,” Antion 2009). http://www.ucg.org/christian-living/turning-hearts-sharing-vs-selfishness/

“‘Submitting [o]urselves one to another in the fear of God.’…by both people makes a healthy, healthy marriage...[bringing] about the total togetherness or the oneness of a marriage” (“Marriage Killer No. 5,” UCG 2004) per Gen. 2:24. http://www.ucg.org/sermon/marriage-killer-no-5-selfishness/

The principle “of humility…in marriage cuts across the grain of selfish human nature…The husband and wife who mutually submit do so with God as their guide…In a happy marriage, both husband and wife mutually submit themselves to one another” (“Marital Happiness,” Aust 2005). http://www.ucg.org/christian-living/marital-happiness-choice-you/




Ivan Veller

Ivan Veller's picture

“Philippians 2:3…requires [mutual submission]… A successful marriage is based on each party’s willingness to submit to the needs and the well-being of the other, rather than seeking his or her own way” (“A Model for Human Relationships,” Nathan 1997). http://www.ucg.org/christian-living/model-human-relationships/

“[S]ubmission to one another…The husband…doesn't exercise power and control over his wife. No…we…offer ourselves as a living sacrifice for our bride” (“Raising Godly Offspring,” Clark 2008). http://www.ucg.org/sermon/raising-godly-offspring/

“Marriage is for both partners…all of the decisions are [not his]…I Peter 3:7…If [couples are] not working together, God's going to have a hard time accepting [their] prayers” (Marriage, Antion 2011). http://www.ucg.org/sermon/your-marriage-can-be-happier/

“How yielded are we to His explicit directives to love, respect, serve and submit to one another? God identifies these as crucial, because He seeks to instill His attitude and create holy, righteous character in those who will share His rule over the world in the future” (“Godly Governance Doctrinal Paper,” UCG Council of Elders 2001). http://members.ucg.org/papers/governance.pdf



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