Problem Solver or Mound Maker?
A major key to happiness in marriage is the ability to deal with difficult issues that arise in a family. Some react to a difficult issue by denying there is a problem, while others "sweep it under the carpet" so they cannot see it. Whatever method one employs to avoid the obvious, the problem doesn't normally "just go away."
The effective way to handle difficulties or problems is to face them and work on them. This is what the problem solver will do in a relationship.
A mound maker on the other hand may buy some time by sweeping problems under the carpet, but eventually there will be a mound of problems that will find their way through the carpet.
The principle for problem solving is found in the instruction that Paul gave to the Ephesians regarding the armor of God. We are told to stand, not run or hide in the face of difficulty. (One exception is fornication, which we are advised to flee.) We are told to wrestle with difficulties also (Ephesians 6:12-16).
Jesus Christ taught us to take action as soon as possible in the account in Matthew 18:15. We are instructed to go to our brother if there is a difficulty (sin against us) so that we may resolve the matter. Inaction does not solve the problem, but action does.
So, how may we be problem solvers in our marriages and families?
1. Make sure you have the facts concerning the problem (Proverbs 18:17).
2. Pray for wisdom and understanding of the problem (James 1:5).
3. Try to put yourself in the other person's shoes (1 Corinthians 9:19-22).
4. Approach the situation with humility (Galatians 6:1).
5. Be willing to see any fault of your own in the matter and be willing to change (Matthew 7:1-4).
6. Be gracious and receptive to the views and responses of the other side (Colossians 4:6).
7. Be bold enough to seek to resolve the matter in a way that is acceptable and truthful (Acts 15:13-19).
Remember, to maintain happy, successful relationships, marriages and families, we must become problem solvers not mound makers.
