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From the Word: Modesty in Dress: A Vanishing Virtue (Part 2)

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Modesty in Dress: A Vanishing Virtue (Part 2)

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How do we know what's hot and what's not? It's all around us. "Sexy clothes for sexy men," says one ad. Movies, posters, TV, billboards, magazines and catalogs show men and women with the look—the style the fashion industry is pushing. In order to appeal and sell, the industry is always looking for something more daring, more sexy, for both guys and girls.

"My family and I recently spent a day at Busch Gardens, in Williamsburg, Virginia. The young ladies visiting the attractions were often dressed in ways that, frankly, would lead people from other countries to conclude that roughly 20 percent of our female population is engaged in prostitution.

"A bikini top with shorts was common attire (even on very overweight girls), which is bad enough but does not fall into the 20 percent. No, another little fashion touch adds salaciousness: Many of the girls we saw had opened the button on their very short, hip-hugger shorts and pulled the zipper about halfway down. With their shorts unzipped and forming an arrow to their privates, and a bikini or tube top, they walked about as unself-consciously as you like."

Columnist Mona Charen related the above personal experience in an article she wrote for Jewish World Review May 4, 2001. Her blunt observation is startling. Unfortunately, similar stories could be told about how young men are choosing to dress as well. Many people today take pride in teasing or tempting with their bodies, but are outraged if they receive negative attention. Though it is often done in the name of personal freedom, many teens and adults are unwitting slaves to today's fashion industry.

Part 1 of "Modesty in Dress: A Vanishing Virtue" highlighted how our contemporary trends have little regard for modesty. Today's wardrobe seems to have almost no limits or boundaries. Sensual exposure is thought of as merely fashion by both male and female, not as an issue of right or wrong. A growing number in society believe you can look revealingly sexy, and also portray innocence at the same time. Being sexy, many boast, doesn't mean you have to have sex. What an increasingly confused age in which to live, or rear children. What is missing in our society? Part 2 will highlight what God expects of us.

Getting Out the Ruler?

What can be done to help maintain, or reestablish, a sense of modesty and purity? Should someone decree what young and old, male and female should wear? Countless debates could ensue over how low a neckline can extend, how long skirts should be, how fitted is too fitted, whether someone's hair is too long or too short, how many buttons on a guy's shirt should be left unbuttoned, etc. Getting out a ruler to measure hair or skirt lengths has produced conflicts and strife in families and even within congregations for as long as most remember.

Surely, there is a means by which Christians can arrive at a unified and acceptable standard. We recognize there is a clear call for modesty in God's Word: "In like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing" (1 Timothy 2:9, emphasis added throughout).

Likewise, both male and female must have concern that our behavior and dress are not offensive or indiscreet (Romans 14:21; Titus 2:5). God designed clothing to cover, not draw attention to, the sexuality of both men and women (Genesis 3:21; Leviticus 18). Yet when we look into the Bible, there doesn't seem to be much help in defining specific limits. How can we determine what is modest, and what is just being up-to-date? As with all subjects, we must begin with a foundation.

The Heart of the Matter

On one occasion the disciples of Jesus were concerned with the issue of forgiveness (Matthew 18:21-22). They asked how many times they were required to forgive an offending party. They wanted to establish an exact number. However, Jesus taught them that the place to begin was with their attitude. He said, in essence, they must be men who have a forgiving spirit in their hearts before they think of limitations.

On another occasion a lawyer asked Jesus to help him define the term neighbor (Luke 10:29). This man wanted to know the precise number of steps from his home it would take to reach the end of his "neighborhood." Again, Jesus reflected on matters of the heart when He replied with the parable of the Good Samaritan.

A third illustration concerns the Sabbath. How many countless questions could we formulate on what is proper Sabbath behavior and what is breaking God's law? Debates on how much work is work and how to avoid "seeking our own pleasure" could go on endlessly. Yet the Bible reminds us to keep the Sabbath holy, just as it prods us to be modest. However, there is no long list of do's and don'ts for either. How is one to know what is breaking the Sabbath?

Isaiah 58 teaches us an important principle about the Sabbath and about Christianity in general. Verse 13 says we must, "call the Sabbath a delight, the holy day of the Lord honorable." In other words, before we begin thinking about exactly what is proper or improper behavior, we must first delight in the Sabbath command. We must call the seventh day honorable and consider it a privilege to have fellowship with God on that day.

The goal is to gain pleasure from complying with God's law. If we do not look forward to the Sabbath or if we consider it a restriction, then we will not necessarily make wise choices in determining proper Sabbath behavior.

The same principle applies to modesty. What is in the heart of a person will always impact decision-making. We must first address matters of the heart. Modesty is an attitude and a way of thinking that exhibits the values by which we live. As part of the Church of God, we agree that our values—our moral standards—should be based on the Word of God. But society (especially the fashion industry and the entertainment media) teaches different moral standards or even that there are no moral standards—that everyone can choose his or her own standard. If modesty is only thought of as someone's specific standard, then there is no advantage to being closer to the standard as opposed to being right on the edge.

While modesty certainly involves a way of dressing for both male and female, it begins with a way of thinking and that thinking affects what we put on. Biblical modesty starts on the inside and works its way outward. As Elisabeth Elliot so aptly stated in Let Me Be a Woman, "The fact that I am a woman does not make me a different kind of Christian, but the fact that I am a Christian makes me a different kind of woman." Our society scorns modesty today because a God-oriented perspective is in too few hearts.

A Claim to Godliness

Before we can discuss what may or may not be modest apparel, we have to remember that we have been called to a noble lifestyle. God's people have too important a mission in life to get caught up in harmful, popular trends. We are told in 1 Peter 1:15, "But as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct." God's people, including our children, are invited to live a vision that is truly extraordinary. We are like princes and princesses in training, awaiting our opportunity to rule. If godliness is in our hearts, it will show in all of our life choices.

One facet of a godly mind-set is mentioned in Romans 12:2: "And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God."

Are our lives demonstrating God's standards or a slide toward patterns of this world? If society is succeeding in persuading us to have a lax attitude toward this world, then we are being drawn away from God by Satan. John warns us, "Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him" (1 John 2:15). God's people must continue to love God above the approval of the world. We cannot allow today's trendy lifestyle to diminish our royal purpose in life.

Clothing Sends a Message

Though God is first and foremost concerned with the inward man, He is also concerned with our outward appearance. Clothes and appearance transmit nonverbal signals. The Bible even uses clothing as a metaphor for what we are like inside and for our character. The parable of the wedding supper and the improperly attired guest is one example (Matthew 22:11). Revelation 16:15 is another. Here we are told, "Blessed is he who watches, and keeps his garments, lest he walk naked and they see his shame."

Also, 1 Corinthians 11 teaches that a woman should have long hair because this physical attribute is a glory to her. A man, on the other hand, should not have long hair. A person's hair serves as an important visible symbol of his or her submission to God's plan of authority and a distinguishing mark between the sexes. God would not inspire these accounts if how we physically present ourselves before Him and the world were irrelevant. Our bodies are the temple of God's Spirit and should showcase the indwelling of that Spirit.

So, what does our clothing say about us? Are we pleasing God with our choice of attire or reflecting the world and its standards via a trendy look? Are we fixated on what we have on? Do we sometimes feel uncomfortable because we know that our clothing is evoking sexuality? Webster's New World Dictionary defines "modest" in reference to clothing and dress as "decent, pure, not displaying one's body." Clothing that is too tight or revealing on either a male or female violates the intended use of the body God gave us.

Dannah Gresh, in an article in Christian Parenting Today, Winter 2002, says she helps girls understand how the male mind works by teaching them about the Gestalt Theory. She relates how graphic designers employ this theory to control the length of time a person looks at an image by using an incomplete image to draw the viewer's attention. Completing the incomplete intrigues the human brain, so a person will always pause to finish the unfinished picture.

When a male sees a girl walking down the street (or at a church function?) wearing tight fitting or suggestive clothing, his mind will want to "complete the picture." A low-cut blouse, a tight T-shirt, a long slit in a long skirt or other suggestive or scanty attire are just enough of a peek at the body to cause a guy to "finish the picture."

As people reflecting purity and godliness, we do not want members of the opposite sex to have to "finish a picture" we have helped create. Christian men will train themselves to "bounce" their eyes elsewhere, but they should not be tempted and have to do so. Of course, many in society blithely welcome such invitations and entertain a host of assumptions about anyone dressing in a sensual way, whether male or female. It is wrong for us to don clothing that brings our morals and discretion into question and invites others to treat us with less respect. A maturing young lady soon learns that God has granted her a certain power with her body. Her feminine allure must always be used in a dignified manner.

Though God looks on the heart, we can see that what we wear is critical. The choice of how to look and what to wear remains an individual decision fundamentally. However, most people don't consider it odd if a school or corporation establishes a dress code. So it should not be thought of as legalistic if a church, which promotes godly neatness, modesty and holiness, should communicate general dress standards for church services or related functions. When done, it is not for the purpose of restricting personal choice, but to reflect our standards and to properly represent the God we serve. We should all come to the understanding that some clothing is not befitting for church.

As we've seen, the biblical standards on modesty don't give specific limits and need to be interpreted and applied to today. How do we interpret these principles? The Church, ministry, members and parents are all involved in this challenging effort in one way or another. We have to make judgments according to our society and culture in the light of God's Word.

One area where the United Church of God has established a dress code is at United Youth Camps. To be accepted, campers and staff must sign an agreement acknowledging that "short shorts, midriffs, halter-tops or wearing revealing or other inappropriate apparel (or the lack thereof) will not be allowed" (2003 Camper Application Form). Established by consensus of the camp team, these are reasonable guidelines reflecting modesty in the camp environment.

Sensible Solution

So, how do we counter the trend toward indecent attire and make suitable choices in dress? The first step is to reconfirm our love of godly values above popular style and chic trends. We can then note and emulate other Christians who are respected for their maturity and good judgment in grooming. Finally, we can comply with established guidelines set for the occasion, while remembering the principles of 1 Peter 3:3-4 that our real beauty is to be the inward person.

We all understand that proper hair lengths and clothing do not produce holiness automatically, but holiness will result in suitable clothing and appearance if coupled with proper education and wisdom. All immodesty is not the result of a wrong spirit. Often it is simply a lack of knowledge. However, with education, when a person's heart is right, he or she will want to dress with appropriate decorum and modestly. Applying the points mentioned above should help insure no one's look will be unbecoming, inappropriate or embarrassing.

Immodest appearance disobeys God's command, puts us at risk, brings our character into question, tempts others and devalues ourselves. Responding to God's call to be holy and represent His Kingdom battles against the crude and vulgar in society. It helps maintain a healthy view of others and ourselves. It also sends a message that we should be respected and treated honorably.

Thankfully, there are still those who respect godly values and understand that modest dress is always cool and never out of style. In a society where few are heeding the call to modesty, let's make sure we continue to respond to God's instructions so we can demonstrate the standard that will soon come to this earth. UN