Time's About-Face on Marriage
A commentary by Mike Bennett
United Church of God editorial content manager
Posted July 16, 2009
 A
couple months ago I was dismayed by an article in Time magazine's
"Life" section. Under the header "Social Norms" was
this gem: "Everything
but the Ring. More couples are deciding to live together and raise a
family. Why bother getting married?"(May
25, 2009).
Committed unmarrieds?
The photos of famously unmarried
couples (like Oprah and her steady of 23 years) and the quotes from "committed
unmarrieds" gave the impression that
this new family trend is stable and here to stay. One "CU" told
his partner, "I'm not with you because there would be legal speed
bumps to get through if we weren't. I'm with you because this is
where I want to be."
But the research findings aren't as rosy. "The
majority of cohabitants either break up or marry within five years," the
author reported. I suspect that foregoing the formality of marriage due to a
fear of commitment doesn't
make the breakups any less painful, especially for any children involved.
"Why Marriage Matters"
I showed my
displeasure about that article in a blog post. So it's only
fair that I point out Time's seeming about-face on
the subject of marriage, in their cover article about "Unfaithfully
Yours" (July
13 issue).
The news angle was the infidelity of
high-profile figures like Mark Sanford, John Ensign, John Edwards,
Eliot Spitzer and Jon Gosselin. But the essay "Why
Marriage Matters" made some very powerful points. For example:
"The
reason for these appeals [including from George W. Bush and Barack Obama]
to lasting unions is simple: on every significant outcome related to
short-term well-being and long-term success, children from intact, two-parent
families outperform those from single-parent households. A sociologist
has measured factors such as longevity, drug abuse, school performance
and dropout rates, teen pregnancy, criminal behavior and incarceration—and
in all cases, the kids living with both parents drastically outperform
the others."
God designed marriage to be between a man and a woman.
He designed it to be a stable foundation for raising a family! And a
stable foundation for society!
Marriage under attack
But, as the Time essay
points out, the two-parent family is "under
constant assault." The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention "reported
in May that births to unmarried women have reached an astonishing 39.7%.
How much does this matter? More than words can say. There is no other
single force causing as much measurable hardship and human misery in
this country as the collapse of marriage."
Well said!
Of course, a two-parent family doesn't guarantee successful
children, and a single parent can raise wonderful children. There are
biblical keys that can help all families in their relationships.
 A practical
and easy-to-read resource I highly recommend is Marriage
and Family: The Missing Dimension. There is a section on "Single
Parenting Success." This booklet is definitely worth your
time. I encourage you to download or request a free copy today.
Related Resources
Marital
Happiness: The Choice Is Up to You!
With so many people wanting instant gratification, it's no wonder so many marriages
end in divorce. Are we expecting more from our husband or wife than we're willing
to give? Can happy marriages simply be a matter of choice?
Today's
Family: Defining Marriage
What is marriage? When and how did it originate? Does it really matter?
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