Death deals a stinging blow to all of us. How do we cope when a loved one dies?
When someone we know and love dies, it can feel like a major sting that strikes like a jolt of reality sinking into our consciousness. Someone we care about is suddenly gone. The reality of their absence can leave a deep, penetrating and stinging void, especially for those closest to them.
Recently two members with ties to United Church of God in the Spokane, Washington/Coeur d'Alene, Idaho, area, died just one day apart. The sting of their deaths hit us all hard. How do we cope when a loved one dies?
Bette Young had been a member of God's Church for over 50 years. She and her husband, Dick, attended the San Diego, California, congregation until about four years ago when they moved to Spokane.
Bette's zest for life stood out. She was full of energy and radiated an outgoing concern for others. She and Dick loved to entertain young people over dessert at their home after an athletic event or other activity. The Youngs also started an annual pancake breakfast providing food and fellowship for the entire congregation.
Just over a year ago Bette was diagnosed with lung cancer. Over the next several months her vibrancy and energy gradually began to wane. However, her smile and warmth remained to the end.
Bette's service to the Church was exemplary. The bonds the Youngs helped create among the brethren will last for years to come. Her warmth and enthusiasm will be missed.
"O Death, where is your sting?" (1 Corinthians 15:55).
Linda's Vibrant Life
A young lady with ties to the area died a day before Bette. Linda Smyda was only 39. My wife, Sharon, and I remember Linda from some 16 years ago when she moved to the Spokane area to be near her parents, Ken and Frieda Iiams. Her brother, Mike Iiams, and his family, also live in the area in Post Falls, Idaho.
Linda Iiams and her husband-to-be James Smyda met as freshmen at Ambassador College in Big Sandy, Texas, in 1988.They graduated in 1992 and got married in December of 1994. Eventually they settled in Cedar Hill, Texas.
After her death, Linda's last on-the-job supervisor, Jim, sent his condolences. He effectively summarized her personality and approach to life: "She had such a pleasing and vibrant personality. She had such a vitality and favorable outlook on the job and life in general. Her smile was infectious, and she interacted well with everyone she came in contact with. She was such a pleasure to work with."
One of Linda's fellow employees also sent a note. "The last time she and I visited, I expressed appreciation to her for always being so upbeat and cheerful. Her response was, 'I'm that way because I choose to be.' Jim, you picked a winner in Linda."
Yet Linda's vibrant life came to an abrupt end just two and a half months after her doctor's diagnosis of colon cancer, which had spread to her liver and other parts of her body.
When someone so vibrant is cut off in the prime of life, it can be particularly disheartening.
"O Death, where is your sting?"
The Sting of Death
For most of humanity, living under the nagging fear of death enslaves them in bondage most of their lives (Hebrews 2:15). English author Samuel Johnson perceived "no rational man can die without uneasy apprehension." And Dr. Johnson declared that the fear of death was so natural to man that all of life was one long effort not to think about it (William Barclay, The Letters to the Corinthians, p. 160). Yet death is the one thing in life that is certain (Hebrews 9:27; Ecclesiastes 3:2).
What is a mystery to millions is an understandable reality we must pass through on our journey to eternal life. Whether our change comes in an instant at Christ's return or we die before then, it is a transition we must all endure (1 Thessalonians 4:15-18).
Life's final trial leading to death can carry an emotional, psychological and physical sting. For those left behind, there are often deep feelings of sadness, loss and things left unsaid or undone. Time is needed to grieve. Although adjusting to the loss and loneliness caused by death takes time, we need to remember that even this most extreme experience does not separate us or our loved ones from God's plan or His love (Romans 8:38-39). God has not left us without hope (1 Corinthians 15:23). God has a purpose, plan and place for each of us (John 14:2-3; Romans 8:28).
We do not need to sorrow "as others who have no hope" (1 Thessalonians 4:13-14). As members of God's Church, we know the ultimate outcome will be a joyous reuniting in the Kingdom of God.
Paul's Perspective
Paul talks about the sting of death from a broader perspective. He projects past the temporary sting that happens to those left behind in death's wake. He focuses God's people on the ultimate victory over the sting of death through Jesus Christ.
"'O Death, where is your sting? O Hades, where is your victory?' The sting of death is sin, and the strength of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord" (1 Corinthians 15:55-58).
Yes, death and the grave will be swallowed up in victory at the resurrection. The ultimate victory of being changed from mortal to immortal is ours if we remain faithful to the end (Matthew 24:13). This marvelous transformation must occur before we can receive the gift of eternal life and no longer be subject to the sting of death (1 Corinthians 15:53-54). We will take on a new, eternal spiritual body.
Why Death Was Required
The tree of life represented eternal life. But Adam and Eve chose the other tree, so God shut them off from the tree of life lest they "live forever" (Genesis 3:22-24). Their wrong choice resulted in God's sentence of death (1 Corinthians 15:22).
Death was part of the curse for sin brought on all mankind by wrong choices made by our first parents. And all have chosen to follow that sinful way ever since (Romans 3:23). Paul's point that "the sting of death is sin" reinforces our understanding of sin's deadly grip on all mankind (1 Corinthians 15:56; Roman 6:23; 7:8-12, 23-25).
Jamieson, Fausset and Brown's commentary says, "If there were no sin, there would be no death. Man's transgression of the law gives death its lawful power...Death has as yet a sting even to the believer, in that his body is under its power till the resurrection" (Vol. III, p. 333).
It is now appointed to man once to die because all have sinned (Romans 5:12; Hebrews 9:27). We are free from our sins because of the priceless shed blood of the Son of God, Jesus Christ. His sacrifice removes the death penalty that would have resulted in eternal death. But it does not remove the process of physical death we must endure. Even Christ had to suffer the sting of death (Hebrews 12:2-3).
Delivered From the Evil to Come
When a loved one dies or our time of death approaches, we should consider "that the righteous is taken away from evil" (Isaiah 57:1). Those who die are removed from the evil in the world, the personal troubles and traumas of life and even the Great Tribulation.
But we are also delivered from the evil enemy of death itself (1 Corinthians 15:25-26). Think about it! Once we are dead and awaiting the resurrection, we are no longer subject to the physical pain and suffering that can accompany life. There will be no more death or pain (RevelationThe disclosure of God's Word and plan to mankind. In the Bible this refers to making obscure things clear; bringing hidden matters to light; causing especially called individuals to see, hear, perceive, know and understand the things of God; the unveiling of biblical mysteries (Romans 16:25). 21:4-5). When we die in the faith, the second death has no power over us (RevelationThe disclosure of God's Word and plan to mankind. In the Bible this refers to making obscure things clear; bringing hidden matters to light; causing especially called individuals to see, hear, perceive, know and understand the things of God; the unveiling of biblical mysteries (Romans 16:25). 20:6). Our eternal life is sure. No longer can anyone or anything keep us from our destiny!
Matthew Henry's Commentary summarizes the release from death's grip this way. "O death! where is thy sting? Where is now thy sting, thy power to hurt? What mischief hast thou done us? We are dead; but behold we [will] live again, and shall die no more. Thou art vanquished and disarmed, and we are out of the reach of thy deadly dart" (notes on 1 Corinthians 15).
What can be more exciting than looking past the sting of death to eternal life? "Those who are wise shall shine like the brightness of the firmament, and those who turn many to righteousness like the stars forever and ever" (Daniel 12:3).
After Job's long trial he began to understand that death was just another stop along the road to eternal life. "Oh, that You would hide me in the grave, that You would conceal me until Your wrath is past, that You would appoint me a set time, and remember me! If a man dies, shall he live again? All the days of my hard service I will wait, till my change comes. You shall call, and I will answer You; You shall desire the work of Your hands" (Job 14:13-15).
Day of Death Better Than Day of Birth?
It is sometimes hard to accept Solomon's assertion: "The day of death [is] better than the day of birth" (Ecclesiastes 7:1, New International Version). Why is one's death better than one's birth? This physical life is just the beginning process. It is short lived with no future without God. James describes life as "a vapor, that appears for a little time, and then vanishes away" (James 4:14).
When we are called by God, life takes on a deeper meaning. It becomes the training and proving ground for the life to come. When physical life is completed, that process is finished, and we await the next phase of life—living forever in the family of God.
Solomon goes on to say that it is good for us to face our own mortality, even if we naturally recoil from it. "Better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of every man; the living should take this to heart" (Ecclesiastes 7:2, NIV, emphasis added throughout).
God wants us to take to heart the reality of death. We should deeply appreciate each moment He provides us with. It should motivate us to take advantage of every opportunity to prepare now for His Kingdom (Ecclesiastes 9:10).
O Grave, Where Is Your Victory?
Bette Young, Linda Smyda and all who have and will die awaiting Christ's return, will obtain the ultimate victory over death and the grave at the resurrection. God's purpose to give us eternal life will stand! Death will have lost its grip on us forever! "The last enemy that will be destroyed is death" (1 Corinthians 15:26).
The fear of death can dissipate if we focus on life's ultimate purpose from God's perspective. We will be resurrected to an "incorruptible" existence, living in an awesome eternal state (1 Corinthians 15:51-52; 1 Thessalonians 4:13-17; RevelationThe disclosure of God's Word and plan to mankind. In the Bible this refers to making obscure things clear; bringing hidden matters to light; causing especially called individuals to see, hear, perceive, know and understand the things of God; the unveiling of biblical mysteries (Romans 16:25). 21:1-5). The life we now live simply cannot compare to the wonderful and fulfilling existence that awaits us. We have hope in and long for that day (Romans 8:18, 23).
We wait as God's jewels, His special treasure, fashioned and molded by Him for the life to come (Malachi 3:16-18; Romans 9:20-21). We are His magnificent handiwork awaiting our adornment as sons and daughters in His eternal Kingdom.
"O Death, where is your sting?" The sting of death will be swallowed up in the victory of eternal life! UN
