Sermon Transcript — July 9, 2005
The Cincinnati East church grown over the last few years with a number of young children being born, a number of families moving to the area. As of the past months, we have close to fifty young babies and children in the congregation. Over the last year in realizing that I have decided to begin to bring a few sermons on child training and I'd like to come today to talk a little bit more about that as well.
About a year ago, we introduced a topic on child training entitled "What Do I Really Owe My Children?" We talked about the prophesies at the time of the end where there would be this spiraling degeneration in ethics and morals, values of men being dropped from the simple act of human nature taking over. We talked about simply the ethics and values and the need to program the true values and ethics to the minds of our children as they grew from infancy to adulthood. And I pointed out that we needed to follow the three laws of memory simply: impression, repetition and associated. Then I went and I showed you how Ann Landers had written thousands of letters, and as a result of those thousands of letters she compiled six basic principles of strong families and we talked about those as well in that sermon. And then we took also the article that came forward from several years ago on Six Secrets of Strong Family and How to Apply Them. You can refresh your mind if you would like and by taking out the tape on that particular topic.
So today what I would like to do is I would like to give part two of that sermon and I entitled it "What Do I Really Owe My Children, Part 2." We want to look at a topic in this sermon that is often misunderstood, but I'd like to focus on it today. The question of human value. How do you feel about yourself, but I'd like to look at it through a biblical perspective today and not through psychology or through the different groups of people that teach about self-esteem and self-worth, but I'd like to take you to the biblical principles and operate from those today.
There is a set of Psalms that is an absolutely enjoyable set of Psalms to read. I talked about it in Prophecy some two or three years ago, they're called the fifteen Psalms of Ascents. They begin in Psalm 120 and they go all the way to Psalm 134. These fifteen Psalms of the Ascent have to do with the children of Israel going up to keep holy days at Jerusalem and the three seasons of the year in which they traveled, the days of unleavened bread, Pentecost or the first fruits and then finally the fall feasts. Those are the three seasons of the year; the entire fifteen Psalms depict their travel, the attitudes that they needed to have.
It is interesting to note that in this fifteen Psalms of Ascent two, two of those particular Psalms focus on family, they focus on the aspect of the blessing of having children. And I'd like to begin there today in Psalm 128, if you would with me, and I'd like to read all of Psalm 128 and then read from the New International version in respect to this because it lays the groundwork of an attitude that we must have as we look at children. Whether you're a parent, whether you're a grandparent, whether you are family members with those children. It's all a part of this whole thing that we're going to see of the hearts of the fathers and the children being knit together, whether they be fathers, grandfathers, family, whatever it might be. And I'd like to share with you today a little bit of what I believe is an important number of qualities that need to be developed in the lives of families. Children are a precious heritage from God and here in Psalm 128 he said...
Psalm 128:1 . "Blessed is every one who fears the LORD..."
Another translation of that is simply "happy" and so we talk about a happiness or a happy frame of mind that we find here in Psalm 128. He said...
Verse 1-2 . "Happy is everyone that fears the Lord, that walks in his ways, for you shall eat the labor of your hand, happy shall you be and it shall be well with you. Prosperity and togetherness within the family."
Notice what it says.
Verse 3 . "Your wife shall be as a fruitful vine beside your house, your children like olive plants around your table."
A very beautiful, flourishing prosperous type of thing, olives depicting that flourishing crop that brings forth good fruit. That's what he's basically showing here and he said...
Verse 4-5. "Behold thus shall the man be blessed that fears the Lord. The Lord shall bless you out of Zion , you shall see the good of Jerusalem all the days of your life and you shall see your children's children and peace upon Israel ."
The New International version says it this way...
Verse 4-5. "May the Lord bless you from Zion all the days of your life, may you see the prosperity of Jerusalem, may you live to see you children's children and peace upon Israel."
A blessing of children and a blessing toward children and a blessing toward family. It's a wonderful setting. It's an excited youth, happy families, God's blessing. These are things that we see as a type of millennial setting that we will be depicting in the time of the Feast of Tabernacles this fall. Today's world is simply not that way. It's a broken home, it's single parents, it's step-parents, it's illegitimate children—one out of every four are illegitimate today. Unhappy, miserable marriages, alcohol, drugs, etc. You can keep naming then.
Today, my purpose is not to talk about the negatives. My purpose today is to talk about the positives and to show you the way, show you the way out of that sort of situation, but the victims of all of what we see today are children. Their lives are torn apart; they're confused; they're abandoned. John Bradshaw who is probably the most prolific writer in the area of abusive situations and he is probably looked upon as the number one writer in this particular area says this that in his twenty-one years, he has never known a person in recovery from chemical abuse who didn't have abandonment issues. Abandonment issues.
People abused physically, emotionally, and sexually. It goes on all around us and we, probably some of us in this room, have been a victim of some of those things as well. Millions lack parental love, number one. Millions lack acceptance, number two. Millions lack approval, number three. And we're going to talk about all three of those today from a biblical perspective, from a biblical perspective.
No matter what your age the approval of your parents affects how you view yourself, it's a fact of life. Your ability to pass that approval along to your children and your spouse and your friends is very important because this generation of the church is responsible as the scriptures you are going to see in just a few minutes require us to turn that tide, especially those of us who have been abused, those of us who have been mistreated, mishandled and simply had the difficulties in growing up with whatever it was that we went through.
All of us, we recognize, are created by God to love him and to serve him. All of us have been created by God to love our neighbor as ourself. We have a vertical relationship that we have with God through prayer, through obedience and through the walking with Christ and the word of God. We also then have a need to reach out in a horizontal way to other human beings in the right way, to touch human beings, if I may use that word in the way God has intended. All of us want to be loved, we all want to be accepted by others. We may say we don't care what other people think, but on the inside let's be honest, we yearn for intimacy, we yearn for affection and this yearning is especially true in our relationship with our parents.
So today we're going to focus on parents, we're going to focus on grandparents, we're going to focus on family and talk a little bit about that. In a book that was written some years ago by a man by the name of Ross Campbell, Dr. Ross Campbell, he says the following statement. Listen to what he says here, the foundation for all of what we're going to look at today is simply for us the love of God. It is simply the love of God that is needed in our lives as we walk this rode. The Bible says God is love and it also says that God so loved the world that while we were yet sinners Jesus Christ died for us.
We call this in the world we live in, the world around us, unconditional love. That's the term that is used, whether it's in the same way in the English language unconditional love, nevertheless, it is a very special love that we want to focus on as we begin the sermon today. Dr. Campbell says the following...
"Real love is special. It is unconditional and should be evident in all love relationships."
And he quoted I Corinthians 13.
"The foundation of a solid relationship with our children is a special unconditional love. Only that type of love relationship can assure a child's growth to his full and total potential. Only this foundation of love can assure prevention of problems such as feelings of resentment, being unloved, guilt, fear and insecurity. We can be confident that a child is correctly disciplined only if our primary relationship with him is that one type of love, that unconditional love, that simply will make it possible for that child and his behavior to know and to understand and to be dealt with properly."
"This special unconditional love can be viewed as a guiding light in a child's rearing. Without it we parents would be operating in the dark with no daily landmarks to tell us where we are and what we should do regarding our child. With it we have indicators of where we are, what the child is and what to do in areas, including discipline. Only with this foundation do we have a cornerstone on which to build our expertise in guiding our child, filling his needs on a daily basis."
Without this foundation of God is love, that concept, and I'm not talking about the world around us, I'm talking about us as members of the church. Without this foundation of this love, parenting is a confusing and a frustrating burden. This love, this unconditional love is loving a child no matter what. No matter what the child looks like, no matter what his assets or liabilities or handicaps are, no matter what we expect him to be and most difficult, no matter how he acts. This does not mean, of course, that we always like his behavior, or I'll add to that, accept it, because God loves every human being, but he does not love some things that we do. And I think you understand that.
"This special unconditional love means that we love the child even at times when we maybe test his behavior."
Now that is the basis, that is the basis for the sermon today, that particular principle is where we want to go. Let's go to I John 3:18. Notice what the Apostle John says in I John 3:18.
I John 3:18 . "Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth."
He's simply saying that we're not to love just with words, but with actions and in truth. It means what we must say and we must act. Those two things become very, very important. Many people who do not feel love, abandoned and accepted are always striving for acceptance. They never feel satisfied. They are simply not in their minds and eyes measuring up to what they should be. Almost all children, almost all children who miss out on their parents blessing at some level, this lack of acceptance, sets off a life-long search.
It happens to so many of us who come into the church and have to learn through the process of time how to develop that and how to work with that. So let's ask a question. What is this blessing that I'm talking about and why is it so important? In the Old Testament times these individuals received their father's blessing, it was monumental, a momentous event that occurred. It started with God's blessing on a man by the name of Abraham who passed it on to his children and his children passed it on to their children and their children passed it on to their children. And we're going to look at that today and we're going to see some very important qualities that show up in the lives of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob that will show us things of how to carry about this concept of simply the question of human value. How do you feel about yourself?
We will see that he gave the children a tremendous sense of being highly valued by their parents and it even pictured a special future for them. It's interesting to note how this occurred in the life of patriarchs back in the Old Testament. At specific times in their lives, they would hear words of encouragement, love and acceptance from their parents. Some aspects of the Old Testament blessing are unique to that time, but the principles and the relationship of the elements of this blessing are still really applicable today and that's where I want to take you in the sermon.
When Jacob supplanted Esau's blessing, Esau was grievously sorry. I'd like you to turn to Genesis 27. I want you to hear the words that were stated by Esau. Genesis 27. You begin to understand a little bit of what human beings face as they seek the blessing, the approval, the approbation, the love and the acceptance from their parents. This is chapter 27 beginning in verse 30.
Genesis 27:30-32 . "Now it happened, as soon as Isaac had finished blessing Jacob, and Jacob had scarcely gone out from the presence of Isaac his father, that Esau his brother came in from his hunting. 31 He also had made savory food, and brought it to his father, and said to his father, "Let my father arise and eat of his son's game, that your soul may bless me." 32 And his father Isaac said to him, "Who are you?"
You know, Jacob had deceived his father had gained this particular blessing.
Verse 32-33. "So he said, "I am your son, your firstborn, Esau." 33 Then Isaac trembled exceedingly, and said, "Who? Where is the one who hunted game and brought it to me? I ate all of it before you came, and I have blessed him -- and indeed he shall be blessed."
Meaning it is to be carried out, it is a fact that that's the way God set it down.
Verse 34 . "When Esau heard the words of his father, he cried with an exceedingly great and bitter cry..."
Listen to what was said there. It says that Esau wept bitterly, there was anguish in his cry, the deed hurt and the pain drove him emotionally. That same deep-hurted pain drives many human beings emotionally today. It is the same painful cry and unfulfilling longing that is being echoed today by many people who are in search of their family's blessing. Men and women, teens and young people, brethren, whose parents for whatever reason failed to bless them or could not, whatever it might be with words of love and acceptance and encouragement.
You know it's interesting to note that in many orthodox Jewish homes they still bestow a very special family blessing on their children. It provides a sense of acceptance and belonging, but we have a sub-culture in the United States today of these various cults of religion, gangs, drinkers, drug users, prostitution who hold out a counterfeit blessing that want to be wanted and needed and loved and accepted, but not for the same reasons that we're talking about that we see here in Genesis 27. Notice going on...
Verse 34-35. "... he cried with an exceedingly great and bitter cry, and said to his father, "Bless me -- me also, O my father!" 35 But he said, "Your brother came with deceit and has taken away your blessing."
Dropping down to verse 38.
Verse 38 . " And Esau said to his father, "Have you only one blessing, my father?"
You know, don't you have at least something, can I just have the crumbs from the table so-to-speak. Is there something you can give me? You see the feeling, the yearning, the hurt that he was going through.
Verse 38. "... And Esau lifted up his voice and wept."
Of course he did because it was a part of what should have been done to Esau. So there are many that are susceptible to a society that doesn't give the real meaningful relationship, they are caught up in what I simply described as a society that is a sub-culture of acceptance. Most are susceptible to, who grow up without a sense of parental acceptance belonging to many, many things.
So what's the blessing and why is it so important? Can we really apply some of these things that we're reading here in Genesis 27 today? Or is it simply just the Old Testament? Was it just for the patriarchs? How can you know that you received it? Or whether your children are experiencing it? How can you know when people are receiving this particular blessing?
I think we can say in the church that God has blessed us, meaning what? We have knowledge, we have understanding, we have forgiveness, we have hope. We also have marriage for many of us. We have children, we have a job. These are good things. These are positive things, but there still are areas that we must understand besides the blessing of God there is this relationship that we have between parents and children that we need to look at.
I'm going to give you five powerful relationship elements that the Old Testament blessing contained. Present or absent determines many things in the lives of people. Context is parent acceptance, but the principle can be used in close relationships as well. The family blessing contains five elements that I'd like to look at today, so let's begin by looking at these five, what I describe as precious keys to build human value in a happy family.
Now let's understand that it takes many, many years to learn some of these things. It is not easy, it doesn't happen overnight. You may have grown up in a family where you had an emotionally attached mother to you, sometimes a father who was distant, sometimes you had the exact opposite. You may have not had it from either, you may have been a single child without parents or without one of the parents. So we have all of these different things, but I'm simply going to show you today that the application of these principles if we begin to practice them are going to begin to produce results and over a period of time they will be a wonderful addition to your family.
Number one. Meaningful touch. Over in Genesis 27:26-27 let's notice what we read here. It says...
Verse 26. " Then his father Isaac said to him, "Come near now and kiss me, my son."
Now in our society I think we must understand that people don't always understand the way it was among the patriarchs. You can understand it from a European point of view if you belong to certain ethnic groups that there is a certain type of kissing that does go on in that particular way. This is what he was talking about here in verse 26.
Verse 27 . " And he came near and kissed him; and he smelled the smell of his clothing, and blessed him and said: "Surely, the smell of my son Is like the smell of a field Which the LORD has blessed."
Now that sounds a little hokey to some people, but I think you get the idea, don't you, as to what he's trying to say. Now we recognize is that each time a blessing was given a meaningful touching provided a caring background to the words that were spoken. Kissing, hugging or the laying on of hands are all a part of that which passes between two human beings, the electricity of that particular relationship. It is important to understand. Let me give you an example.
There was a four-year-old that was frightened during a lightening storm and she jumped in bed with her parents for comfort and assurance. You had your kids do that? I've had my children do that. With some thunderstorms just scared them terribly. Trying to calm her fears the father said, don't worry, honey, God will protect. The little girl snuggled up closer and said, I know that, Daddy, but right now I need someone with skin on. You get it? Did you hear what she said? Right now I need someone with skin on. There is that certain something, isn't there?
It was interesting that there is an article that came out some years ago and it was entitled, "A New Kind of Drug: Hugging." I don't know whether you saw it, but I'd like to read it to you because I think it has to do with this meaningful touch. Listen to what it says...
"Hugging is healthy. It helps the body's immune system. It keeps you healthier. It cures depression. It reduces stress. It induces sleep. It's invigorating. It has no unpleasant side-effects. Hugging is nothing less than a miracle drug. Hugging is all natural. It is organic and naturally sweet. It has no pesticides, no preservatives, no artificial ingredients. It's 100% wholesome. Hugging is practically perfect. There are no movable parts, batteries to wear out, no periodic checkups. It is low in energy consumption, high in energy yield, it is inflation proof and non-fattening. It has no monthly payments, no insurance requirements, finally, it is <inaudible> proof, non-taxable, non-polluting, and of course, fully returnable."
I thought it was kind of a cute thing to add to what we're talking about in this meaningful touch. It's what the man called a new kind of drug. Researchers have found simply that in caring homes most parents will stop touching their children once they reach grade school years, according to the research that I've done, yet when you begin to read good books that have to do with this concept, we read "Caring, Feeling and Touching" by Sydney Simon and you can read it for yourself, but it's an excellent book to show the importance of these things.
I'm going to go back to Ross Campbell for a moment if you don't mind, page 45 of this particular book and this is what he says...
"How to love your child concerning physical contact. It seems that the most obvious way of conveying our love to a child is by physical contact. Surprisingly, studies show that most parents touch their children only when necessity demands it, as when helping them to dress, undress or get into the car; otherwise, few parents take advantage of this pleasant, effortless way of giving their children the unconditional love they so desperately need. You seldom see a parent on his own volition out of the blue take an opportunity to hug his child. I don't mean just hugging, kissing and the like, I'm also talking about any type of physical contact."
Now talking now in the right way, I hope we'll understand.
"It is such a simple thing to touch a child on his shoulder, gently poke him the robs, tousle his hair. When you closely observe the parents with their children, they may actually attempt to make the least possible physical contact. It is as is if these poor parents have the notion their children are like mechanical walking dolls, the object is to get them walking and behaving correctly. It is heartening to see some parents who have discovered the secret of physical contact along with eye contact."
"Last summer my eight-year-old played peanut league baseball. I sat on the bleachers to watch him. During the game I especially enjoyed one father who had discovered the secret of eye and physical contact. Frequently, the boy would run up and tell him something. It was obvious there was a strong, affectionate bond between them. As they talked, their eye contact was direct with no hesitation. And their communication included must appropriate physical contact, especially when something was funny that was said. The father would frequently lay his hand on his son's arm, put his arm around his sons shoulder and sometimes slap him on the knee. Occasionally, he would pat him on the back or pull the child toward him, especially when a humorous comment was made."
And then of course talking about teenage girls, he said...
"She would come to watch her brother play; she would sit with her father either at his side or directly in front of him."
Here again this caring and knowledgeable father relating to his daughter in an appropriate way. He used much eye and physical contact, but because of her age, he did not hold her on his lap or kiss her. See, there's a right way to do these things if we can understand that.
"He would frequently lightly touch her hand, arm or shoulder or back and occasionally he would tap her on the knee and frequently put his arm around her and likely jerk her toward him, especially when something was funny."
He said...
"Physical and eye contact are to be incorporated in all of our everyday dealings with our children; they should be natural and comfortable and not showy or overdone. A child growing up in a home where parents use eye and physical contact will be comfortable with themselves and with other people and they will have an easier time communicating with others and consequently be well-liked and even have good self esteem. Appropriate and frequent eye and physical contact are two of the most precious gifts we can give our children. They are some of the most effective ways to fill a child's emotional tank and enable him to be his best."
There's a whole lot of things that Ross Campbell says, I wish I had the time to read them, but I don't. I'm just going to bounce through in giving some of the basic principles. So everyone needs simply meaningful touching, including teenagers. Many physical and emotional benefits as he points out in his particular book. Parents need to know that neglecting to meaningfully touch their children does literally starve them of genuine acceptance so much so that it can drive them into the arms of someone who is willing to touch them. We understand that in the ministry because we've seen that happen many times. Meaningful touch can protect the child from looking to meet this need in all the wrong places.
Let's go to Genesis 48. Again, I'm just simply going to use the Bible in the basic principle that he gives here. Genesis 48:9-10. Notice what it says...
Genesis 48:9-10 . "And Joseph said to his father, "They are my sons, whom God has given me in this place." And he said, "Please bring them to me, and I will bless them." 10 Now the eyes of Israel were dim with age, so that he could not see. Then Joseph brought them near him, and he kissed them and embraced them."
You see, this was a blessing that he was going to pour out on them. This was the part of the inheritance or the heritage of Ephraim and Manasseh that was being giving to them. I think most interesting note and so Joseph took them, Ephraim with his right hand toward Israel 's left hand and so forth and so on.
Verse 14. "Then Israel stretched out his right hand and laid it on Ephraim's head, who was the younger, and his left hand on Manasseh's head, guiding his hands knowingly, for Manasseh was the firstborn."
And then of course the blessing was placed upon them. We see Jacob kissing them, embracing them, laying hands on them. I think we see the same thing with Jesus. He touched, he blessed little children in the gospel accounts. I think it's important that we see that in dealing with our children and with our grandchildren, the ability to do that to play games, to wrestle, to have a wonderful time with them in that right way. I think it's an important thing. I think all of those things are very important to the concept that we see here in chapter 48.
Let's go to the second point. Point number two. A spoken message. In many homes today words of love and acceptance are seldom heard. Silence is not golden. In communicates confusion. Children who are left to fill in the blanks on how their parents feel about them will often fail the test when it comes to feeling valuable and secure. Many parents will provide all of the child's physical needs, but without the spoken word of blessing they are left unsure of their personal worth and acceptance.
Remember the old statement sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me? Remember that? It's a lie. It's an absolute lie. It is a deceptive lie because the proverbs tell us the exact opposite. The proverbs tell us very simply that words fitly spoken are like apples of gold and pictures of silver. Another proverb says the following, a word spoken in due season, how good it is.
I don't know whether we realize this, but for every negative comment that we see people get, harsh criticism or just a put down in whatever way, it takes approximately ten positive comments to finally undo that. I thought was shocking when I read that in a book recently, but it's nevertheless true. Abraham verbalized his blessing to his son Isaac. Isaac verbalized his blessing to Jacob. Jacob verbalized his blessing to the twelve sons and the two grandchildren, I think our children need simply to hear that same blessing and to let them know what we do feel about them. A spoken blessing.
It's like a forest fire. Words can burn deeply into our hearts. Negative words can shatter children emotionally rather than shape them in a positive way and I think we have to understand. We have to understand the words that we say. How often do we take time to tell our children and our teenagers that we love them? I think that's important that we learn to do that. Too busy? Like one woman said one time, who has time to stop and tell them? And I ask the question who has time not to stop and tell them those things?
I remember some years ago as a young man in the ministry that I was told by Pasadena we all needed to have a family night and we should have it at least once a week with our families. And I remember that I diligently went to work on that and I think we used Monday's for a while and then finally we went to Friday night because of the fact that it was so nice as your children grew older to be able to sit around and visit with them and I think we found that when we got about ten, fifteen years down the road Pasadena said to us, well, why don't you guys have a family night? And we said to them, well, what are you talking about? We've been doing it ever since you told us we should. We haven't stopped, but the interesting thing was some of them had forgotten back there. And so we stayed with it and we found that with many of us in the ministry it was a great blessing because of the busyness of all week.
What was so much fun about it was the fact that each Friday night we would each have a turn to get the meal that we wanted and the dessert that we wanted. And it was once a month that I got to eat what I wanted to eat. Out of thirty-one days that's not too bad, but each one of us had that opportunity and then we sat around the fire, we talked, we visited and then the kids went to call their friends and our telephone lines were busy and nobody could call and my wife had a quiet two or three hours to just visit with each other, it was great.
And we had this type of thing and it is a very important concept that I think words of love, acceptance, encouragement and growing up in this particular way are so important to our well-being. We realized according to a number of people that there are two roads that people can follow if they don't have this. There are two unhealthy extremes.
Number one the road to work-a-holism. It is intense insatiable drive to achieve and to please. You just haven't been able to please your parents so you keep driving harder, perfectionism is an outcropping of such.
But the second one is a road of withdrawal. Convinced they are of no value and can do nothing. There's apathy, depression, withdrawal, alcohol and drugs sometimes are a part of that particular frame of mind as well. Why is it so hard to say words of blessing? Why is it so hard to talk to your children and to show that appreciation and that love? I think it's simply because perhaps we haven't ourselves had that given to us and so we have to learn, this generation has to turn it around. We have to be the people that will do that. And I think we recognize that as a result of that we can some changes that come from the church of God .
I have a book entitled "The Blessings" by Gary Smalley and John Trent. It was written a long time ago. I got some of my material for the sermon from this particular book. On page 58 and 59 I'd like to just read a few thoughts to you that John Trent and Gary Smalley make here.
"Spoken words of blessing should start at the delivery room and continue throughout life. Yet the like of time and <inaudible> I'll have time to tell them tomorrow rob the children of a needed blessing today. No, it's not that big a deal you may say. They know that I love them and that they are special without my having to say it."
Really? We wish that explanation worked with many people we counsel. To them their parents silence has communicated something different from love and acceptance. Let's look at what commonly happens in homes where they are silent without blessing. Both people and relationships suffer in the absence of the spoken word of love, encouragement, support and words of blessing. Take marriage for example. Dr. Howard Hendricks, a noted Christian educator, is fond of telling the story of a couple he counseled several years ago. This couple had been married for over twenty years, but their problem had become so acute they were now considering divorce.
Dr. Hendricks asked the husband when was the last time you told your wife that you loved her? The man glared at him with crossed arms I told my wife I loved her on our wedding day and it stands until I revoke it. Now think about that for just a moment. He means he hasn't said a word to her since that time. That's what he means. He has not said a word about, you know, still loving her. Not only marriages, but individuals particularly children suffer from the lack of a spoken blessing. Without words of love, acceptance and encouragement children often grow up traveling one of two roads.
And then I just gave you those two roads. The one of work-a-holism and of course the other one the road to withdrawal. And so we have opportunity in the church of God to break the, what I call, the cycle. We have that opportunity because we're learning a different way of life. Between the relationship that we have with God and Christ and the relationship that we ought to have with our brothers through the ten commandments, I think this gives us first opportunity to do that.
Point number three. Expressing high value. To value something means to attach honor to it. Go to Psalm 103 with me for just a moment. Psalm 103 beginning in verses 1 and 2 or just verses 1 and 2. This is Psalm 103:1-2. He said...
Psalm 103:1-2 . "Bless the LORD, O my soul; And all that is within me, bless His holy name! 2 Bless the LORD, O my soul, And forget not all His benefits."
Bless the Lord he said in both verses. In Hebrew to bow the knee is the root of bless the Lord. To bow the knee is the root meaning of this word blessing. This word shows a reverence, it shows an awe to an important person. That's what the word in the Hebrew actually means. In relationship to God, it came to mean to adore with bended knees. When we bless the Lord, we are actually recognizing God's intrinsic worth and attaching high value to him as human beings can do so, looking at it from a human point of view now, I hope you understand.
Can we say I love you to God? to our children? When we bless our children we are actually expressing a high value and we are showing that kind of respect as we look at the word here that means to "bow the knee." To show that kind of intrinsic, high value. Chapter 17 of Genesis 1 and 2. Let's go back, again, to the patriarchs and look at what they had to say. This is Genesis 17. I think something very interesting happened here in Genesis 17.
Genesis 17:1-4. "When Abram was ninety-nine years old, the LORD appeared to Abram and said to him..."
And notice what it says. He said...
Verse 1 . "I am Almighty God; walk before Me and be blameless. 2 "And I will make My covenant between Me and you, and will multiply you exceedingly."
He simply said that I will confirm my covenant, I will greatly increase you in numbers, and in speaking in the physical way that we understand it. And the dropping down to verses 5 and 6, he says...
Genesis 17:5-6 "No longer shall your name be called Abram, but your name shall be Abraham; for I have made you a father of many nations. 6 "I will make you exceedingly fruitful; and I will make nations of you, and kings shall come from you."
So what do we see? We see that God changed the name from Abram to Abraham to express high value. He showed Abraham and the same thing that Jacob, when his name was changed to Israel, he showed expressing high value, to attach honor and I see this is what we see as an important concept, as we work with our children and as we strive to help them develop in their lives. Chapter 27 of Genesis, let's notice a couple more scriptures here. This is the case of Isaac's words of love and value to his son Jacob.
Genesis 27:26-28 . "Then his father Isaac said to him, "Come near now and kiss me, my son." 27 And he came near and kissed him; and he smelled the smell of his clothing, and blessed him and said: "Surely, the smell of my son Is like the smell of a field Which the LORD has blessed. 28 Therefore may God give you Of the dew of heaven, Of the fatness of the earth, And plenty of grain and wine."
So we see Isaac's words were of love and of value. Now God the Father did the same thing to Jesus Christ when he said in the statement in front of the disciples or the apostles, this is by beloved son whom I love. He was expressing high value, you see. Now people say, yes, but that's the God that came down from heaven, that's Jesus Christ, you know who is here and he was perfect. No, the point is that he's talking just simply the concept of value, high value. This is my son, whom I love with whom I am well-pleased. Listen to him. Now what did that mean to Jesus Christ? I think it did mean something because as walking on this earth as a human being and all the things he went through, I am sure that that became a very important, if I may use the term, "perk" along the way that he needed to have because it's obvious that as a human being you have to struggle with all of the negatives in life that you have to go through.
How do you express high value to your children? How do you express high value to your teens? How do you express high value to your mate? Think about that. How do you do it? What do you say to them? I think it's important that if you were missing this blessing from your home and your family, you probably have great difficult expressing it in your family.
Now there was a story of a young lady who was born with no left arm below her elbow. The parents prayed that their love would make up for any physical lack or lack of physical abilities. The little girl faced many trials and stars and giggles and tactless comments. She went through a number of fears growing up, but I think it was interesting that she began to be treated like her parents as normal, they worked with her. She learned to dance, she went out dating, even though she had this handicap. She learned even to play the piano. And she went to a major university to become quite proficient in the field that she went into.
Her greatest asset was simply the fact that there was high value, that her parents set upon her and she had that gift from her parents that helped her during some of those most difficult times, the security of knowing that she was highly valued and unconditionally accepted. It's important, it's important for the children and it's important for us to understand that we need to be doing that as well.
Point number four. Picturing a special future . Genesis 27 again, verses 28 and 29. Notice again what he says...
Genesis 27:28-29 . "Therefore may God give you Of the dew of heaven, Of the fatness of the earth, And plenty of grain and wine. 29 Let peoples serve you, And nations bow down to you. Be master over your brethren, And let your mother's sons bow down to you. Cursed be everyone who curses you, And blessed be those who bless you!"
This is a blessing, this was picturing a special future that we see that Jacob was to have and later when he got out from under his deceptive ways and he repented and had turned from them, God did bless him and give to him what Isaac had asked for him at that particular time.
You know, where there is no vision, there is no propelling force. Man is a gold striving mechanism as one man put it and human beings are made that way. And there are many homes that we find people don't do that, they need to develop picturing a special future for their children. I think it's interesting that many Jewish homes still today are noted for picturing a special future for their children. There's a story. I don't know if you heard the story, but the lady's name was Cytil. She was proudly pushing her twins in a stroller, she met her friend Sarah, and Sarah says, my what beautiful children, what are their names? This is Benny the doctor. This is Reuben the lawyer.
Now think about that for a moment. You might say, she already had their futures planned for them. Well, I'm not sure she had their futures planned, but the concept was that she was picturing a special future for her children. She believed that her children had a special future and great potential. I think that's an important concept that we need to drive home to our brethren, as parents and our members of the church because we need to realize that we do have a special future, not only in the future, but the ability to have it today in our lives.
Children are literalists when it comes to predictions about their future, particularly from parents the most important people to them. I think that's very important to them to have the predictions of their parents in a positive way. Communicating a special future to a child like Isaac did to Jacob I think is very, very important because it's an important of the blessing that God intends for us to have. Children will live up to your expectations of them positive or negative. Teasing sometimes can be very devastating, especially when we talk about looks and intelligence and things along that particular line.
God pictured a special future to Abraham when you read about it. Isaac had a special future pictured to Jacob. Jacob had a special future pictured to his sons. Christ to his disciples and to us. Remember the transfiguration where he was transfigured before the disciples? What happened? We saw simply the picturing of a special future. Time and time again God gives us a picture of his special future with him in his kingdom in the millennium. We look at the Old Testament and we see the conditions of people in the land in the millennium. We look at the New Testament and we see kingly ruler ship and a change to the spirit realm.
You put the two together and they're priceless. As we observe Trumpets, Atonement, and Tabernacles, and last day. They are priceless because if you stop and think about the seven days that we observe is the seven annual holy days you begin to see the picture starts here and it ends here and it has a future. It doesn't stop at the Passover when we become at one with Christ and with God. It starts there and it ends on that last day and that to us is very important. Is it not important that year after year we are renewed as members? How about our kids? How about our children?
In orthodox Jewish homes blessing children is also interlaced with words that picture a special future and I think it's important when you tell a person that they're nothing but a bum, they live up to those expectations in so many cases. In the book "The Blessing" it talked about a gentleman who simply was told by his father, until his father died, you're nothing a bum and nothing but a bum, you'll never succeed at anything. And when he went to work for a number of companies, always, he started out, he was really a terrific individual, he had all kinds of qualities and abilities, but somehow he just always started to glitch as he got farther and farther down the road. And it always happened, he always went back to the self-fulfilling prophecy in that sense of the word, his dad told him you're a bum and he lived up to those expectations.
The law of physics says water can't rise above its source. If a parent pictures for a child his or her value in life is that it's low, then that child may find it difficult to rise above those words. I didn't say they can't. I just said they might find it hard. I think there is an interesting study of fathers and daughters. They found women's achievement in life were directly related to the level of their father's acceptance of them. Interesting. Emotional, physical and even spiritual growth in a child can be stunted because of the stifling effects of a negative picture of the future.
I think there was an example of a girl that was slow in learning, I don't know whether you've ever heard the story, but I thought it was interesting. She was a slow learner and what happened to her was they always wanted to put her back and she was, and everybody finished their tests, she was only half way through and she was a very slow learner, but she continued to plod and her parents continued to talk to her about her future and what she could do if she continued along the way. And the interesting thing was that when she graduated from high school as a result of just using and keep using these abilities that she was given and parlay them, she ended up simply being hired, one of the first children out of graduation and high school to be hired by a school to teach their special education classes. She became a school teacher. I think the parents actually gave her a vision and they worked with her along the way and that's what we have to do, that's what we have to do as parents.
Point number five. Last point of the sermon today. We have to have an active commitment. The last element pictures the responsibility that goes with giving the blessing. You can say you have the talent to be a good pianist, but if we neglect to provide piano or lessons we have undermined the message, have we not? Even as adults, we need parental support. We need love, acceptance, patience, mercy, forgiveness, genuine care and concern, like the children need. And I think all of us need to understand that. That's why the importance of grand parenting, the importance of parenting all go hand-in-hand. We got lots of grandparents in this room today and I think many of these principles, many of them apply to you as well. They apply to you because some of you even bring your grandchildren to church here and I think that is a beautiful thing to be able to do.
Over in Genesis 28, Genesis 28, verses 13-15. God's words of commitment to Jacob. Notice chapter 28 verses 13-15.
Genesis 28:13-15. " And behold, the LORD stood above it and said: "I am the LORD God of Abraham your father and the God of Isaac; the land on which you lie I will give to you and your descendants. 14 "Also your descendants shall be as the dust of the earth; you shall spread abroad to the west and the east, to the north and the south; and in you and in your seed all the families of the earth shall be blessed. 15 "Behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go..."
See that's the commitment. That is the commitment physically that God gave to these patriarchs. And he said...
Verse 15. "...and will bring you back to this land; for I will not leave you until I have done what I have spoken to you."
That's what happened to Marcia, the girl that was a slow learner, that's what happens to people that the parents not only talk about a special future, but they also have an active commitment for them. Philippians 1:6 says very simply and you don't need to turn there...
Philippians 1:6. "...being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;"
Very simply, God will complete his work in us. Now some small thoughts along the way. What if your parents were negligent and you haven't experienced acceptance even in your adult life or even as teenagers. What can you do? I think you can begin to apply the five elements of the blessing, touch, words, value, all of those things. Parents also need meaningful touching as well. Grandparents, you need to understand about your children. Parents, you need to understand about your children.
All of us need to be working on that and also as spiritual fathers and mothers in the congregation we need to do the same. That's what you see in the mentoring that is found in Titus the 2 nd chapter. We're going to talk about that in a few weeks when I give a sermon on mentoring that we see in the Bible, that there is this spiritual mentoring that does go on and I think we need to see that, it is important. Parents need spoken words from their children, not just on mother's day or father's day and I think that it attaches a high value to the relationship that needs to be.
You can break the cycle, I can break the cycle because a lot of us had bad situations in our families. I can talk about my tale of woe to for several hours if I wanted to, but I'm not going to do that because I recognize that the cycle can be broken. And as you have a relationship with God the Father and Jesus Christ, that cycle of dysfunction can be broken in your life and in the lives of anybody who simply try to do that. We can break the cycle. We have to pass on the family blessing. We have to learn and accept, forgive and have patience and mercy and understanding.
I ask a question. What if you don't have it to give? What if your emotional tank is empty? I think you have to ask God to mend the link, don't you? I think, you know, we talked about in the sermonette, the little acts of faith. This may seem small to most people, but you want your emotional tank sealed so that you can have it filled up. You have to ask God to fill you with love and mercy and patience and acceptance. Then when your emotional tank is full, then you have enough to share with other human beings, be able to give the family blessing up and down and cross to all human beings. These are principles that can enhance our families, our marriages, principles that can be applied in relations with others in the church.
Now if you turn to Malachi 4. We need to be that generation that breaks this terribly vicious cycle of abandonment, neglect and abuse. Over in Malachi 4:5. You read the scripture before. Let me come at it differently today. It says...
Malachi 4:5. "Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet Before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the LORD. And he will turn The hearts of the fathers to the children, And the hearts of the children to their fathers, Lest I come and strike the earth with a curse."
That's the translation in the Hebrew. Elijah is dead. Did you hear me? Elijah is dead and there are others that Jesus said came in the spirit and in the power of Elijah. And Elijah will come at the time of the end, that's what the book says, but it will not be Elijah because he's dead. He'll come up in that first resurrection. So it means that that same spirit is alive and well at the time of the end, the spirit of Elijah. The spirit and power is available for us.
I do believe that we can use these five key elements to pass on the blessing of our children and our families, we need to have that stability, that loving acceptance and that feeling of worthiness and to remember those five points not only as fathers and mothers, but also as grandfathers and grandmothers as well in the church of God.
They're five simple principles: 1) Meaningful touch. 2) The spoken message. 3) Expressing high value. 4) Picturing a special future. 5) And having an active commitment to that future.
Over in the book of Numbers 6:22 we see that God did this with the children of Israel as they were getting to travel. And I think it's a most interesting one because we in the ministry have talked about this after a conference, at the end of a conference, we have actually prayed the prayer of God's blessing in the same way that the sons of Aaron pronounced this upon the children of Israel. Chapter 6:22, concluding scripture for today...
Numbers 6:22-27 . " And the LORD spoke to Moses, saying: 23 "Speak to Aaron and his sons, saying, 'This is the way you shall bless the children of Israel . Say to them: 24 "The LORD bless you and keep you; 25 The LORD make His face shine upon you, And be gracious to you; 26 The LORD lift up His countenance upon you, And give you peace." ' 27 "So they shall put My name on the children of Israel , and I will bless them."
So I think we see the importance of this blessing. I hope God will help you understand these active principles that I gave you today. And I think most of all I hope that you have the heart to pass on these blessings to your family and to each other spiritually as members of the church of God .