Sermon Transcript — July 21, 2007
Are most of you familiar with 3-D or3-dimensional puzzle images? A few years ago they were very popular. Usually every Sunday comic section in the newspaper had one. At first glance you look at this rectangle of various colors and shapes and it just is a kind of a solid interesting pattern and you kind of refocus your eyes at a certain angle, a certain direction, and this 3-dimensional image begins to take shape. It appears right there amidst all these various colors. Sometimes it is a flock of birds in flight or a ship on the ocean. It is always fun to kind of turn the puzzle until you finally get this 3-dimensional item to jump out at you and very frustrating when you can't.
I would like to use this concept of a 3-D puzzle as an analogy to make a point; in this case regarding the subject of marriage. Until God works with us and opens our minds, our concept of marriage is pretty much limited to a human level; what we see and experience on a human level, and it's like seeing shapes and colors and there is a level of understanding, there is a picture there that can be very pleasant but in addition God's people are able to actually see more. They are actually able to see this 3-dimensional object and picture in addition to just the superficial. A picture that we are privilege to see is a spiritual one. It is a spiritual truth, a spiritual reality regarding marriage. Turn with me to Ephesians 5:31. In this section of scripture, Paul is giving instruction to the Church regarding the subject of human marriage. In fact Ephesians 5:31 is actually quoting Genesis 2:24.
Ephesians 5:31 – "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." But notice verse 32:
V.32 – This is a great mystery, or another translation says: "profound mystery", but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
Going back to this idea of a 3-dimensional puzzle analogy, verse 31 is referring to the human marriage. It is like seeing the surface pattern of those colors: attractive shapes and colors, nice to look at, but verse 32 tells us that there is a 3-dimensional image to be seen as well. Something in addition and that is that the institution of marriage reflects a spiritual reality. Marriage is a type of the relationship between Christ and the Church and Paul is saying that our marriages should be modeled after this beautiful spiritual pattern and ideal.
Verse 32 uses the word "mystery". We typical think of a mystery as something like the "Hardy Boys mysteries" or "Agatha Christie mysteries", and that can work but we can also think of mystery as something that is almost impossible to understand like: "These tax forms are a mystery." I think you know what I mean, but in the Bible "mystery" is a spiritual truth that we human beings can never come to understand on our own unless God opens our minds to see it and unless God reveals it to us. Once He does, then we can see as it were, this second dimension, this other 3-dimensional form. When it comes to marriage, the mystery so to speak, the 3-dimensional image that God allows us to see, that there is a very special relationship between Christ and the Church. God intends for our marriages to be patterned after that spiritual reality. They ought to be a living symbol of the relationship between Christ and the Church. Understanding the spiritual reality behind marriage lifts the concept of marriage to a very, very high level. It raises it. Here is some well worthy descriptions of marriage when viewed from this perspective, from the spiritual perspective.
Marriage is put on a revolutionary new footing.
Marriage is transformed.
Marriage is raised to an unimaginably lofty level.
Marriage is to be viewed in the most majestic form and terms.
Marriage is infinitely ennobled or exalted.
So whether we are married or not, whether we are men or women, whether we are teenagers or children, God meant for us to understand the spiritual reality behind marriage and to learn from it.
The topic of marriage is a big one of course, but today I would like to focus our minds on the most basic instruction to both husbands and wives given by the apostle Paul in the scriptures. Paul taught that husbands and wives were to specialize; to actually specialize in one specific area of responsibility. We are all familiar with the concept of specialization and specializing. When a person specializes in something he devotes his time and energy; devotes himself to mastering that one particular item. Devotes his time and energy; focuses on it. A corporate lawyer for example, specializes on all the rules and regulations affecting corporations. A brain surgeon specializes to master and understand everything about the human brain and a professional athlete typically specializes in one sport. Focuses, understands as much about it as possible.
In the scriptures God makes it clear that husbands and wives should also specialize in each of these specific areas. Breaking it down to the bottom line, husbands are told to love and wives are told to submit. I know as soon as we hear those two words, love and submit, many things come to mind, maybe not all positive either. Well, I would like us to realize that what comes to our mind is not necessarily what God had in mind from the beginning. God inspired those words and those words are correct and they are wonderful but there can be a lot of misunderstanding about the concepts of love and submission. I think we realize that we live in Satan's world and it has been Satan's world for thousands of years. He has had plenty of time to corrupt and pervert and pollute the concepts of marriage; to confuse people about the concepts of love as well as submission.
So for the sermon today I like to phrase those two concepts, to love and to submit, in a little different way than just those words. I think that God intends for Christian husbands to specialize in loving their wives enough to be willing to die for them. That's what a husband means to learn to do. And God intends for Christian wives to specialize in loving their husbands enough to be willing to live for them. That's what a wife needs to learn to do. Although later as we read through Paul's instructions in more detail in Ephesians 5, those concepts will be expounded.
Before we do that though, it might be helpful to take a little time to think about the future relationship that Jesus Christ will have with the church. That should tell us something. It should give us a plateau, a platform from which to view and to think about even human marriage. Let's turn to Revelation 19:6. Here we see that the husband-wife relationship was never meant to be patterned after the master-slave relationship or a parent-child relationship or a dictator-doormat relationship. That is not biblical. The future relationship of Jesus Christ with His church should help us to see the worth and the value and the dignity that our roles have in marriage right now. Revelation 19:6 is future. It will take place in the future at the coming of Jesus Christ.
Revelation 19:6 – And I heard, as it were, the voice of a great multitude, as the sound of many waters and as the sound of mighty thunderings, saying, "Alleluia! For the Lord God Omnipotent reigns!
V.7 – Let us be glad and rejoice and give Him glory, for the marriage of the Lamb, it is referring to Jesus Christ …has come, and His wife, that's the Church; all those who are truly converted and led by God's Holy Spirit,…. and his wife has made herself ready."
As an aside: Because we are all imperfect the church is also imperfect. But here we have God's promise, His sure promise, that imperfection is only temporary. The time is coming when Jesus Christ will be able to attain His goal of marriage. Now when He does, it will be to a perfect church; to a perfect bride.
We see then as Christians our goal is to one day become a collective bride. All of God's people through the ages will become the collective bride of Jesus Christ. Now it is an interesting concept for us men, isn't it? It kind of putting on a different set of shoes for us. Our goal is to become the bride of Christ spiritually speaking, and since we are destined to become a bride or wife of Jesus Christ, it can be very helpful for us men to understand more about what it's like being a wife. It should help us relate to our wives even better now.
These verses we read in Revelation 19 give us once again a very high profile, a very high view of marriage. Why does Jesus Christ need or want a wife? Why does He say that the concept of a wife is a good way to describe the function between Him and the church when He returns to this earth and takes over rulership of the earth? God created marriage. He created the roles of husband and wife. He should know and understand clearly the details involved.
First: Will Jesus Christ marry an inferior? Are wives in any way inferior to their husbands today? Hopefully none of us think that way. Hopefully we all understand the answer is: no. Our wives are not inferior to us in any respect. When God created Adam, before He gave him a wife, what did He do? He taught him a very important lesson. He showed him every animal He had created; ran them by him. In fact Adam was the one who gave them names, but it came very obvious that not one of those animals that God had created was a partner, a fitting partner, to Adam. Nothing connected in that sense. There was no animal that could match his intelligence. No animal that could understand his plans, his goals or work with him as a partner, so then God created Eve from Adam's own body. Adam realized his wife was made of the same stuff, the same kind of material he was made from. He could not claim that his wife was made from inferior material, could he, because she was made out of him.
Interesting way God thought of that. It wasn't just more red clay. She was made out of him. No way he could ever think, "Well, He used worse clay for you than for me." Interesting, very interesting. No way that Adam could think that his wife was of a lower level and there is a lesson there for us: Jesus Christ does not want His bride to be inferior or sub-standard. He is not going to be satisfied with an inferior bride anymore than Adam would have been satisfied to have a parrot or a turtle as his lifelong companion. It wouldn't work
Christ will take nothing less than His own kind as His wife, to be His partner in running the Kingdom of God, forever. Our destiny is to become members of God's family. God beings, on a God-plane existence, married to Jesus Christ. We will have bodies of the same material as Christ has; spirit bodies. We will have the same mind He has, the same type of mind, the same holy, righteous character that Christ has. Christ will marry a bride who is like Him; the same composition, the same character. So we see from the pattern from Christ and His bride that wives are not be thought of in any way as being inferior to their husbands.
It is also worth considering the importance of the value of the role of a wife. The future bride of Jesus Christ will be trust worthy, competent, capable, not a wife who is relegated to an unimportant role in Christ's life. The wife of Jesus Christ will need to be very competent because she will have one of the most responsible jobs ever: To rule along with Jesus Christ; to help heal a suffering people; to mend the broken planet. As the millennium begins people will need to be re-educated. Everybody will need to be re-educated because of the destruction that will have taken place on the earth before Christ's return. The earth itself will need to be, in a sense, re-created. It will take skill and wisdom on the part of the wife to help Jesus Christ.
God the Father wants to increase His family and He is going to allow Jesus Christ and Christ's wife, the church, to work on earth rearing His spiritual children. Although we will always be under Christ in authority He will trust a large part of rearing of those spiritual children to His wife, to the church, to us. It is quite an honor and a privilege; an awesome task to think about; quite a job that the wife of Jesus Christ will have.
Even now, the future bride of Christ, which is the church, has been entrusted with a critically important job of preaching the gospel to the whole world; an educational responsibility. So, if we follow the pattern of Jesus Christ and His bride we will avoid the mistake of downplaying the idea of distinct roles in marriage and the role of the wife in particular.
Let's go next to 1 Corinthians 11:3. We see here that Christ wants us to understand something about His government; about authority and administration in God's realm and how that impacts our homes and families even today. Paul wrote this in 1 Corinthians 11:3. It is a principle.
1 Corinthians 11:3 – But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. Referring to God the Father.
I will read that in another translation which makes it even clearer; however I want you to realize that Christ has authority over every man. A husband has authority over his wife and God has authority over Christ. It is important for us to understand what this verse is saying but also what this verse is not saying. It is not saying that wives, somehow, have to go through their husbands in order to have a relationship with God, rather than being able to go directly to God, to form a relationship. It is definitely not saying that.
Instead this verse is a kind of organizational chart. I think we are familiar with organizational charts; an organizational chart for the family. If we were to sketch out a chart on a board, we will put God the Father right at the top. We put Christ right beneath Him; we put the husband under Him, because he is under Christ's authority, and we put the wife right beneath the husband because she is under her husband's authority. This tells us that the God family, which is composed right now of God the Father and Jesus Christ, the God family, lives by the principle that someone must be in charge. All are respected; all are appreciated; all are a part of the family; but someone is in charge.
Christians understand that the right kind of submission is not a curse. It is just necessary to make the family work. The scriptures tell us that for ever, for all eternity, Christ will be under the Father's authority and Jesus Christ is happy about that. He is comfortable with that; He is pleased to submit to His Father for ever. Husbands and wives should also happily accept God's pattern for authority and leadership within our families, within our homes.
Another thing that we want to make note of is that although Jesus Christ will always be under His Father, that will never change, wives, on the other hand, are only under their husband's authority in this lifetime. Not for ever. Once we are changed to spirit there will still be hierarchy and authority in the family of God but no doubt many wives will have even greater authority than their husbands because some wives will have overcome more and built more godly character so they will be rewarded accordingly and be given greater authority in the Kingdom of God. I hope that is not a scary concept for us. I think that is an important one for us to understand. It helps us to appreciate the roles we have. It helps us to appreciate using them properly now.
It is so important for us to understand that God designed marriage not just for our happiness and satisfaction in this life, although obviously that is a big part of it, of what He had in mind; He also designed marriage to teach us certain spiritual lessons. About God's love; about God's government; it is a way for us to learn and prepare for the Kingdom of God. It is a way for both men and women to properly learn to become the wife of Jesus Christ.
Let's go next to Ephesians 5:22. Here we will see the working principles of a godly marriage. This is marriage from God's point of view and we want it to be our point of view as well since we depend upon our God for guidance and direction, for wisdom and instruction.
Ephesians 5:22. Here we are given the details of how and why a husband should specialize – it is a key word – specialize in loving his wife enough to be willing to die for her. It details about a wife's specializing: her specializing in loving her husband enough to live for him.
Before we read this passage in verse 22, let's talk a little bit about motivation. Why? So that …. Why would a Christian husband, or wife, want to live this way? Well, partly from faith that God's way works. But even more so, to show love and respect and obedience to God and to live up to the spiritual reality that marriage is suppose to picture the spiritual part of that. Sometimes we will hear a person say to another person, especially a fellow to his wife or visa versa: "I'll do anything for you," and that means, typically that "I love you so much that I will be willing to do whatever you ask me to do".
When it comes to our relationship to God, we are supposed to be saying this: "You've sacrificed so much for me. You've done so much for me. You're offering me eternal life in Your family. I'll do anything You ask. I'll be happy to do whatever You say to do because I want to please You." So here is what God expects of us and we want to especially notice when it comes to both husbands and wives that God emphasizes not our rights but our duties and our responsibilities. He requires both husbands and wives to be unselfish. He holds each partner accountable for his or her individual responsibility to Him. As we go through these verses you might want to ask yourself a question: Whose duty, whose rule, is more difficult and more challenging? The husband's or thewife's?
Ephesians 5:22 – Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. Interesting that last four, set of four words: as to the Lord, meaning in the same way you submit to the will of Jesus Christ.
A wife knows that God is watching and that she wants to please God by doing this properly. What does it mean to submit? The original word in Greek meant: to arrange in order underneath. Submission in marriage involves a woman voluntarily placing herself under her husband in authority. Not because she is always right or because he has special abilities, but because she is a Christian. To submit involves a willingness to fully co-operate. A Christian wife will fully co-operate with her husband out of love and respect for him and for God. Just as every team needs a captain, a marriage and family needs a leader: Someone who goes and gives the overall direction to the family; someone who is responsible to God for the family's decisions. In a Christian marriage God's says that is to be the husband. Ideally husbands and wives should work as partners; developing family plans and family goals and making decisions. Ideally, most of the time they'll agree on these decisions; once in a while they won't. In that case the wife should be willing to yield to her husband and to his authority.
Let's take an example. Say for example a husband is a big hearted, generous guy. It is hard for him to say "No", and he thinks that when it comes time for girl-scout cookies to be sold that he ought to buy a box of girl-scout cookies from every girl-scout that comes to the door. Great idea. Let's be nice; let's be fair, treat everybody alike. Well, the wife thinks differently. She says: "It is very sweet of you but do you realize how many girl-scouts's we have on this street? Twenty! So you want to buy 20 boxes of cookies? That can get pretty expensive. Do you know how much those cost per box? Now we are not even talking about calories, we are talking about dollars!"
She thinks it is a bad idea, O.K., but she certainly could suggest an alternative plan. She could try to persuade her husband; maybe poke his belly a bit and say: "Girl-scout cookies? Hmmm." She might warn him of the hazards. Not only is this going to be expensive but twenty boxes of cookies! Who is going to eat all of these? She could think of possible doctor's reports. But if she still disagrees and is not able to convince him of a different plan then she should follow his lead and support him cheerfully.
She should try to make his decision work. Maybe it will require juggling her grocery budget in order to be able to accommodate buying all these cookies. And if, by the time the 15 th girl-scout came to the door, even he realized it was a bad idea and said: "We are going to buy no more", she would not say: "I told you so!" She wouldn't rub it in. No put-downs, no unkind remarks. She lets him save face. She gracefully allows the altered plan: knowing that we all make mistakes in judgment. We all have to grow in wisdom. Nobody is right all the time, except God.
By submitting a Christian wife will let her husband lead. She'll love her husband. She'll help him in every way possible. She'll pray for him. She'll use wisdom in what she says and when she says and how she says it. She'll let him know that she appreciates him and values him and that she wants to him to succeed. She will tell him that she backs him up completely. She will encourage him and compliment his strengths and his successes. Let's go to verse 23.
Ephesians 5:23 – For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.
V.24 – Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
In everything. It is a tall order, isn't it? It doesn't say in most things. Everything! It doesn't leave any room for deceiving her husband or manipulating things to turn them out the way she wants them to turn out. We should obviously mention that there is a Biblical exception to this command of submitting to everything. If a husband were to ask his wife to do something that goes clearly against God's laws, God's commandments, then she should respectfully refuse. The scripture is clear on it. Also, this verse does not mean that a wife should submit to physical abuse or violence from her husband. The church will not tolerate abuse.
Verse 24 tells us that just as the church acknowledges Jesus Christ's authority and tries to please Him in every way, so shall a wife, a Christian wife, love her husband and be willing to live for him.
Verse 25 continues to highlight the husband's responsibility. We notice that Paul does not emphasize the husband's authority; instead he emphasizes the deep love that a husband should have toward his wife. Wanting and working for the very best for his wife. We see the ideal here, the model.
What kind of husband is a wife to submit to? Well, according to the scripture, to a man who expresses the highest kind of self-sacrificing love. If the husband is doing his part properly it is much easier for the wife to do her part. It just is. A kind of self sacrificing love and this requires more than just human love. It requires more than just any old kind of love. It requires that husband's go to God for God's Holy Spirit to be able to do this properly. A husband is under the authority of Jesus Christ. He is supposed to pattern himself after Christ's example. Christ love the church so much that He was willing to suffer, even die, for the Church; for all humanity. And so a husband is to serve his wife. To meet her needs even if it involves suffering or sacrifice on his part. He will be willing, when it is for her good, to put her needs and concerns and opinions and interests even ahead of his own. Caring for her well-being becomes his high priority in his marriage.
Let's notice here in verse 25 that Christ gave Himself for the church. Loving involves giving. It is an outgoing concern. That is a 1 Corinthians 13 kind of love. 1 Corinthians 13 is the love chapter; showing what love is in detail. It is a good idea for us husbands to review 1 Corinthians 13 periodically with our wives in mind; whether we are following the instructions of 1 Corinthians 13.
Ephesians 5:26 – that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word. It is referring to Christ.
V.27 – that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.
What does Jesus Christ have on His mind regarding His future wife? Well, it is helping her to become everything God wants her to be; everything that she can be. Jesus loves and saves His church in spite of its imperfections; in spite of our imperfections. Husbands who follow His example will devote themselves to building up their wives. That is where a husband's heart will be. A husband will use his position to help his wife; be the best she can be whether physically or spiritually or emotionally or intellectually.
V.28 - So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.
V.29 – For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.
V.30 – For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones.
Notice verse 29 says: "no one ever hated his own flesh". For example, when a man is hungry he doesn't hate himself and say to himself: "Sorry, no food for you". No, when we are hungry we get up and get some food. When we are cold we put on a sweater or turn up the heat. The point is that if a man and wife become one in marriage, a husband is supposed to think in terms of his wife's needs as well as his own. He'll do for her the same what he does for himself. He will be as considerate of her and her needs as he is for his own. He will give her physical affection. He will protect her and help her and talk with her. He will find out what pleases her, what makes her happy. He will spend time with her; he will value her as his partner; he will consider her advice; he will use her many talents and skills; he'll praise and encourage her; he'll thank her.
We read verse 31 at the beginning of the sermon about a husband and wife becoming one flesh; a beautiful union of two lives. One marriage counselor describes it as meshing two lives, not mashing two lives. Interesting contrast. It is a meshing of two lives into one.
V.32 – This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
Here again is this concept of the 3-D picture, so to speak, of marriage: something deeper than just the obvious or the physical.
V.33 – Nevertheless - interesting word. You get the feeling Paul is saying: "Even if you don't see the 3-D picture yet, this great spiritual reality beyond marriage and behind marriage, then at least be sure you do the important, practical instructions that I laid down for you." Nevertheless, he said, let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Wives can and should choose to interact with their husbands in a respectful way. That goes without saying that husbands ought to be doing the same thing: interact with their wives in a respectful manner. When a respectful approach is gone, when there is no more respect, the relationship very quickly deteriorates. In fact it is interesting that marriage counselors see a lack of treating one another with respect as a huge red flag. One of the most obvious signs a relationship is in serious trouble is when respect is gone. On the other hand, when both partners live up to God's expectations of them, it produces some beautiful fruits: love and unity and peace and a wonderful kind of intimacy.
What then about a marriage when only one of the two is converted and living God's way of life? We will see that we still have a responsibility to do our part even when our mate is not doing his or hers. Let's quickly turn to read what the apostle Peter wrote in 1 Peter 3:1. Peter was addressing women, first of all. Women who had been called into the church but their husbands had not yet been called. It is a situation not unlike we have today. I'm sure it's been that way in every facet of the church. Women at that time did not have the kind of freedoms or rights that women do today. Becoming a Christian and living a Christian life must have taken a tremendous amount of courage on a part of many of these women.
Here in 1 Peter 3 we see Peter describes the wife's role in terms of great strengths of character and deep conversion. Peter was writing on the subject of submission in this chapter and he said, in a previous chapter as well, talking about submission, he said:
1 Peter 3:1 – Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some donot obey the word, that is if your husband is not in the church, is not converted, …they,without a word, without you preaching at them, …may be won by the conduct of their wives.
Notice it doesn't say by the arguments of the wives; by the testimonials of the wives; by the many words of the wives. It says: by her conduct; her behavior. God inspired Peter to write what the husband will notice first and foremost: the thing that makes the biggest impact on him is seeing her changed life. Seeing the changes occur in her. In fact Barkley's commentary titles this section of scripture: "The silent preaching of a lovely wife": The silent preaching: talking about her example, her conduct. This woman puts her efforts into being the best possible wife she can be: pleasing and loving her husband.
V.2 – when they referring to the husbands, … observe your chaste meaning morally pure or blameless, …conduct accompanied by fear, Meaning respect; a respectful approach toward her husband and a deep respect for God and God's way of life.
V.3 – Do not let your adornment be merely outward – arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel –
This isn't saying that it is wrong for a woman to dress up nicely and to fix her hair. Proper dress and grooming in fact are important. It can be a way of expressing love to your mate. But as we see in verse 4, the emphasis should be on the character, the character traits, much more than the appearance. That's why it said: don't let it be merely outward. It should be inward.
V.4 – rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, the inner-self; a change of heart and building of character …with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.
What then is a gentle and quiet spirit? It will be a mistake to think that God is asking women and wives to be timid. That is not what it means. It doesn't mean they shouldn't have any spirit or spunk. That is not what it means. It doesn't mean they should never say a word – just be quiet. That is not what it means. A gentle and quiet spirit is talking about a Godly-character trait: a strength of character, in fact. Peter is writing about women who are required by God to do their part, perhaps under very difficult and trying circumstances and that takes great strength and character to do that.
Verse 4 said the wife should have a gentle and quiet spirit. I think we know what it means to be gentle, and then quiet means that she should have a calm frame of mind. A quiet, confidence. In her case because she completely trusts God with her whole life. We can say then that a gentle and quiet spirit is the opposite - many times trying to understand a concept, if we understand the opposite we see what we are not to be and it is true in this case. We can understand a gentle and quiet spirit, I think better perhaps, by seeing what it is not. It is not a harsh, abrasive, irritable, angry, resentful, agitated, upset spirit. It is the very opposite of those. In verse 4 God makes a special point of including the fact that when He sees a woman with the strength of character that has a gentle and quiet spirit, it is very pleasing to Him. He loves to see that.
V.5 – For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God and there is a key right there. They put their trust, hope and confidence in God. …the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands,
It is worth noting the fact that Peter referred to holy women who lived before his time. This tells us that these instructions he is giving are not just a cultural thing for Peter's day, but they are God's principles for ever. God's truth applies regardless of what time in history we live.
V. 6 – as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, or meaning master. In other words Sarah's submissive attitude was reflected in the way she addressed her husband: in her words. Wives today would apply that principle by phrasing what they say to their husbands in a respectful way which, by the way, is very opposite to what we see on very common sitcoms today as far as wives approach their husbands. Not exactly learning how to have a happy marriage by watching television, …whose daughters youare if you do good including doing good things to your husbands…..and are not afraid with any terror.
Referring to Sarah's daughters, Peter was in essence saying: "You women are part of a small but very special group of women. Women God has specifically chosen to be part of His church now". The New International Version translates that by saying: You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. Because these women trusted God in their circumstances, their faith grew strong. They were not overwhelmed by fear or worry. They won't be afraid to do what is right.
This section in 1 Peter 3 ends with a reminder to husbands and a warning: a most interesting verse, one that we basically cover six months after a couple is married. We typically have a six month check-up after a couple is married to see how things are going and one thing we try to cover with them is this verse, so that the husbands in particular understand a very important principle that God instructs us on.
V.7 – Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, husbands should try and mentally put themselves in their wife's shoes as best they can: figuratively of course, and understand a feminine viewpoint as best we can. It says: giving honor. In other words treating them with courtesy, with respect, with consideration … to the wife, as to theweaker vessel, it is referring to the physical weaker, not intellectually of spiritually weaker. …and as being heirs together of the grace of life, but notice the last words of that verse: that your prayers may not be hindered.
These last words of this verse tell us that if a husband is careless in his responsibility of loving his wife, his relationship with God will be affected in a negative way. His relationship with God is directly affected by the way he treats his wife. Fascinating concept. Very important. Talk about a prod on us to be decent husbands. If we want our prayers heard then we have to treat our wives respectfully, lovingly, properly, as God has directed. That's what I call motivation. God knows exactly how to help motivate us to do what is right. "that your prayers may not be hindered."
Today we've looked at the roles in marriage from God's point of view. It's been said: A successful marriage requires falling in love many times but always with the same person. It has also been said that a happy marriage begins when we marry the ones we love and they blossom when we love the ones we marry. It is true.
Let's ask God for help, brethren. We all, husbands and wives, need God's help so that we as husbands can learn to specialize; to specialize in loving our wives enough to be willing to die for them. As wives we learn to specialize in loving our husbands enough to live for them.