Practical Christian Living: Speech

Facilitator's Guide

This Facilitator's Guide is intended to assist the facilitator in leading the discussion of a group on the following topic. It is not meant to give an exhaustive review of the topic, but rather give pointers from the Bible. To that end we have inserted a few comments and Bible verses that are relevant to the discussion – this may help get the discussion started. For a more comprehensive study of this topic see the related online resources at the end of this guide.

Introduction

"I know I should not take God's name in vain, and I know I should not tell a lie because the Ten Commandments say not to do so. But does God care how I speak otherwise?" Has that question ever crossed your mind? Actually God's Word gives many principles about how we should and should not speak. This discussion guide will lead you to discover those principles.

Evidence from Scripture

Matthew 12:36 – "But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the Day of Judgment." (37) "For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned."

1. From these verses, how can we tell that God attaches great importance to our speech?

· We must give account for what we say.
· We will either be justified (declared guiltless from the penalty of sin, Galatians 3:24) or condemned by what we say.

2. Why should we be concerned about our words?

· Luke 12:3 – What we speak in private "will be proclaimed on the housetops."
· Malachi 3:16 – When those who fear the Lord speak, God listens.
· Luke 6:45 – Our words reveal what is in our heart.

3. What is an "idle word"?

· Idle means "lacking worth or basis; vain chatter". (Merriam-Webster Dictionary)
· "Idle word" implies what you say when you are not thinking; talking without engaging mind.
· Proverbs 15:2 – "… the mouth of fools pours fourth foolishness."

Proverbs 18:21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit.

4. Explain how "death and life" are contained in the words we speak.

Psalm 19:14 Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my strength and my redeemer.

Psalm 141:3 Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips.

· Our words have the potential to hurt others or to help others. They have the potential to hurt our eternal standing with God.
· Proverbs 13:3 – "He who guards his mouth preserves his life, but he who opens wide his lips shall have destruction."

5. How concerned were men such as David and Solomon about their speech? What should our attitude be?

Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

· David showed that he wanted his words and the meditation of his heart to be pleasing to God.
· David was a "man after God's own heart", so we should try to learn from him.
· Psalm 34:12-13 – This scripture shows David's attitude toward words. He sees the correlation between desiring life, loving days of good and keeping his tongue from speaking guile.

6. Can you point to a biblical example or relate a personal experience as evidence of the validity of this proverb?

· Proverbs 25:15 – "By long forbearance a ruler is persuaded and a gentle tongue breaks a bone."
· 1 Samuel 10-11 – Nabal responded with harsh words after David had asked for some nourishment after he protected Nabal's sheep in the wilderness.
· 1 Peter 2:21-23 – We should follow in the steps of Christ "who when He was reviled did not revile in return…"

7. What is a "soft answer"? Why does such an answer "turn away wrath"?

· "Soft answer" – These words are filled with gentleness and love; grace.
· "Turns away wrath" –People will not keep an argument or quarrel going if the other party refuses to participate or answer back.
· 1 Samuel 25:23-31 – Abigail's soft words turned away wrath of David, who intended to hurt her husband, Nabal, and all of his household because of Nabal's unkind and selfish attitude.

Proverbs 15:2 The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly; but the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness.

8. How can you tell a wise person from a fool? What difference is there in their speech?

· Proverbs 16: 22 – a fool refuses to be corrected
· Proverbs 10:18 – a fool spreads slander in his speech
· Proverbs 10:11 – the speech of a fool often leads to violence
· Proverbs 10:19 – "In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, but he who restrains his tongue is wise."
· Proverbs 20:32 – "The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable, but the mouth of the wicked what is perverse."

9. How does one use "knowledge rightly"? What does the statement mean?

Proverbs 15:4 A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.

· "Knowledge rightly" – 2 Timothy 2:15-16 "Be diligent to show yourself approved to God, worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. But shun profane and vain babbling, for they will increase to more ungodliness."
· What does this statement mean? –It means that we need to use what we know for God's purposes; for improving your thoughts, words and deeds; for helping others and for positive outcomes.

10. What is a "wholesome tongue"?

· Wholesome means "health and well-being of mind and spirit; prudent". (Merriam-Webster Dictionary)
· Proverbs 16:27 – "A man has joy by the answer of his mouth, and a word spoken in due season, how good it is."
· 2 Timothy 2:14 – "Remind them of these things, charging them before the Lord not to strive about words to no profit, to the ruin of themselves."

11. Why would a perverse tongue cause discouragement and depression?

Proverbs 15:23 A man has joy by the answer of his mouth, and a word spoken in due season, how good it is!

· Perverse means "turned away from what is right and good: corrupt; improper or incorrect." (Merriam-Webster Dictionary)
· A perverse tongue makes you feel discouraged and depressed because you are opposing God's way. Your conscience may tell you your words are wrong. A perverse tongue creates discouragement and depression in the hearers as well as the speaker.

12. Explain the meaning of this proverb. What's the lesson regarding our speech?

Proverbs 20:19 He who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets; therefore do not associate with one who flatters with his lips.

· Controlling one's tongue brings joy to the speaker and the hearers.
· Proverbs 25:11 – "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver."
· Proverbs: 12:25 – "Anxiety of the heart of man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad."

13. What's so bad about gossip?

· It is commanded in the Bible not to gossip.
· Leviticus 19:16 – "You shall not go about as a talebearer among your people."
· Proverbs 11:13 – "A talebearer revels secrets, but he who is of a faithful spirit conceals a matter."
· Proverbs 18:8 – "The words of a talebearer are like tasty trifles, and they go down to the inmost body."
· Proverbs 26:20 – "Where there is no wood, the fire goes out; and where there is no talebearer strife ceases."
· Gossips destroy lives and reputations.
· Luke 6:31 – Christians are to treat others as they would like to be treated.

14. What's so bad about flattery?

Proverbs 25:15 By long forbearance a ruler is persuaded, and a gentle tongue breaks a bone.

· Flattery is used by people to get an advantage over someone.
· Proverbs 7:5 – "The seductress who flatters with her words."
· Flattering lips show hypocrisy.
· Psalm 12:2-3 - It is a sign of ungodliness.
· Proverbs 29:5 - It traps those who listen to it.
· Proverbs 26:28 – It can lead to ruin.

15. Just how does a "gentle tongue break a bone"?

Ephesians 4:29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.

· Proverbs 25:21-22, Proverbs 15:1 – Gentle words break the resolve and resistance of stubborn hardhearted people.
· Examples of the right words "breaking" the resistance of someone

16. What is "corrupt communication"?

· Corrupt means "morally degenerate and perverted; depraved" (Merriam-Webster Dictionary). It can also mean tainted and vicious.
· Corrupt communication could also mean hostile and angry words.
· Examples

17. How can our words build others up? What about when someone needs to be corrected?

· Words can encourage others to do rightly and make good choices.
· When someone needs to be corrected, well-chose, godly, loving words can be used.
· 2 Timothy 3:16-17 – "All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work."

18. What does it mean "impart grace"? How does our speech do that?

Ephesians 5:4 Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks.

Colossians 3:8 But now you must also put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth.

· Strong's Bible Concordance states the meaning of grace as the divine influence on the heart and its reflection in life; including gratitude.
· Our speech can help us turn to God and appreciate Him.

19. What constitutes "foolish talking"? Can you give some examples?

· Foolish is "lacking in sense, judgment, or discretion; absurd and ridiculous…" (Merriam-Webster Dictionary)
· Foolish talking is talking about silly things or talking in a rude manner.
· Examples of "foolish talking" are mocking others, institutions and things of God. Talking about private matters too openly is another example. Many radio, television and movies are full of foolish talking.

20. What constitutes "coarse jesting"? Can you give an example?

· Synonyms for coarse are vulgar, gross, and obscene. Jesting is making fun of or mocking someone.
· Making fun of the things of God, people and sex with or without vulgar words are examples of coarse jesting.

21. What is "filthy language"? How do you define it? How would you recognize it? What are its characteristics?

· Speaking bad words, cursing, cussing, talking in angry or hateful ways are examples of filthy language. Language that is any way goes against God's commandments is filthy.
· Filth is defined as "moral corruption or defilement". – (Merriam-Webster Dictionary)
· Filthy language is the use of vulgar of obscene words.

· We recognize filthy language by asking ourselves some questions:
· Do our words honor and show love and respect toward God?
· Do our words honor and respect His law?
· Do our words show love and respect for ourselves and others?
· Do these words encourage and/or bring joy to the hearer?
· Are our words clean (above reproach, appropriate, not vulgar)?
· Would we want these words "proclaimed from the housetops"? (Luke 12: 31)
· Would we want God to hear us say these words?

· Characteristics of filthy language: negative, ungodly, rude, crass, slanderous, hateful, angry, etc.
· Breaking the third commandment would be filthy language as well.

Summary

1. Summarize what God tells us about how we are to speak. What does "love" have to do with it?

· Philippians 1:27 – "Let your conduct (conversation) be worthy of the gospel of Christ..."
· Colossians 4:6 – Speak gracious words.
· Proverbs 21-23 – "Whoso guards his mouth and tongue keeps his soul from trouble." Speak with self-control.

· The love of God and our fellowman should motivate our speech.

· David's example of love toward God can be seen in these words about his speech. Psalm 19:14 – "Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart are acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer."
· Luke 6:45, Matthew 12:35 – Our love of God is reflected in what we say.
· 1 Peter 3:15, I Peter 2:12 – Our love of God and our fellow may light the way for others, as evidenced by our words.

2. What do your peers believe about speech? Do they watch their words? Why or why not? Do they look for principles to guide their speech? Do they use "filthy language," "coarse jesting," etc.?

· Examples that support what has been discussed so far.
· Society tells them that it is good to express feelings. Talking is encouraged in any way, shape or form. Peers can believe that any speech is acceptable.
· Peers do not usually look for principles to guide speech, rather are influence by current music, movies, media, etc.

3. What do you now believe after this study? Do you think it is important to consider how you speak? Do you see wisdom in the counsel the Bible gives?

· "Filthy language" and "coarse jesting" are everywhere in the world we live in.

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