"All of us are born with the basic need for attention," writes Kevin Leman in Bringing Up Kids Without Tearing Them Down. "All children start out with this basic skill, which they hone to a sharp edge as they go about the business of growing up.

"Because every child starts out in life with a natural desire to please you—the parent—you have a golden opportunity. Since children are going to seek your attention ('Hey, Daddy, watch me!'), you might as well do all you can to teach them how to be a positive attention-getter rather than a negative one. How you interact with your children as they seek your attention is the critical issue."

Dr. Leman suggests:

"1. Don't overreact to what your child says or does.

"2. Do show interest without putting on pressure" (pages 106-107).