Don't forget that deceased loved one. Speak of them often. Remember them and bring them back to mind from your memory any time you wish. They were a part of your life and may still be a part by remembering them!
We travelled to Texas to visit our daughter and her family. While visiting, we were updated on my mother-in-law's condition. She took a turn for the worse from what was originally diagnosed as pneumonia. She now was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. We made arrangements for my wife to fly out the next morning to be with her sister and her mom in Arizona. During the middle of the night, we received a sleep-awakening call from her sister. Her mom had died!
The sense of loss set in! She was nearly 91 and had lived a good long life. Having her live so long gave us many years to enjoy her. That made the loss more difficult, especially for my wife who knew her all her life.
When a loved one dies feelings of numbness and sorrow set in. Grieving is all a part of the process. Whatever your belief is in the afterlife, the deceased will no longer be visibly present to enjoy and share experiences with. The sense of loss becomes more real. "I'll never see her again in this life." No more chats, phone calls, scrabble games, meals together, visits and just knowing that she's there.
When the funeral service came, we were gathered with her two living daughters (my wife and her sister; one daughter had pre-deceased her), 9 of her 10 grandchildren and 23 or her 31 great-grandchildren, a sister-in-law and a nephew and his family. Having the family and friends around was comforting. We enjoyed time together and commented that Mother/Gramma would have liked seeing them all together.
When the body was interred it was a difficult time because it signaled finality to the life of the mother, mother-in-law, grandmother and great-grandmother. Her body was buried only a few feet away from her husband who died twenty-five years before her.
The drive home found my wife weepy and in a meditative mood. We talked of memories and that sparked some interest. This is actually a very good therapy. We can bring that deceased back any time we want in our memories. We can note the familiar words we say and the familiar actions we do that remind us of our loved one.
The Scriptures give us the ultimate comfort because they state that every one in the grave will be resurrected (John 5:28). Paul's inspired words which are used at many funeral services are, ""But I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who sleep in Jesus." "Therefore comfort one another with these words." (1 Thessalonians 4:13-14, 18)
So, don't forget that deceased loved one. Speak of them often. Remember them and bring them back to mind from your memory any time you wish. They were a part of your life and may still be a part by remembering them!
May you have the peace that passes understanding when you lose a loved one, too.
For GN Magazine, I'm Gary Antion.
