It has been weeks since I slipped and did the thing I had promised myself and God that I wouldn't do again. Yet, here I am, a failure once again. What does God think of me? How can I face Him? I have put Jesus Christ to an open shame, an object of ridicule. I can just hear Satan laughing and mocking Christ. "She's done it again!"
Can God possibly forgive me? Does He see my sorrow and shame at failing once again to keep my word? How can I even face myself? I hate to look at myself in the mirror. How many times must I say "I'm not going to do that again" before I can keep my word?
I want to be like King David, who was a man after God's own heart. But can I be? He let God down many times, yet each time his mistakes were pointed out to him, he repented. Can I do that? Am I truly repentant if I keep repeating the same mistake over and over again?
I pray that I am. I study God's Word and seek to have Him cleanse me. I need Him to help me keep my promises. I relate to David's songs of regret and love of God's Word. I want to be following God in my inner self. I want my first thought to be: "What would He have me do?" I want God to, as David said in Psalm 51:2, "cleanse me from my sin."
It doesn't matter if the problem I continue to have is a compulsion to bite my fingernails, overeat, drink too much or any other obsessive behavior. If I can't quit it, I need help. How best to get that help?
God put a wonderful system in place for us to use. Prayer, turning our problems over to Him and admitting our need for His help, will go a long way toward helping us overcome our weaknesses. Also, getting a trusted friend to pray for you is another part of God's plan.
We don't have to tell anyone what our problem is. Sometimes others may already know! Just look at my fingernails sometimes and you will know if I have failed lately fighting that little habit. That may not be a serious spiritual problem, but if you are the kind of person who has a problem with self-control, it will at some point become a spiritual problem. I know, because biting my nails is not my only weakness, not my only bad habit. Some of them are much more serious.
If we can't control the "talents" God has given us now, how can we be expected to have command of a city or cities in the world tomorrow? If we can't budget pennies now, how can we budget dollars then?
Look at your gaining control over your bad habits as preparation for the world tomorrow, and it can't help but be a governor over your actions today. We fight a war with Satan, self and society.
Who is going to win? With God's help and with our helping each other—we will!