Preparing for Pregnancy: Participating in a Miracle

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Preparing for Pregnancy

Participating in a Miracle

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It may be the most godlike thing you have a chance to do. You get to bring a human life into the world. Nausea, vomiting, varicose veins and hemorrhoids aside, being pregnant can bring a man and a woman face-to-face with a miracle.

When God created the land, sea, sun, moon, plants and animals, He declared it “good.” But when He finished creating man in His own image, male and female, and told them to be fruitful and multiply, He declared His work “very good.”

Humans are pretty special. Our ability to carry our children and give birth gives us a glimpse of the incredible purpose God is working out on earth. (And you thought you were just having a baby!)

Your child is on loan to you, entrusted to your care, for you to nourish toward his or her ultimate goal of eternal life as a king and priest of God. This understanding gives real meaning to the phrase “the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.” So what are you doing to prepare to be this child’s parent?

Spiritual preparation

Before conception is an ideal time for both the mother and father to devote some extra attention to prayer and fasting, to make sure your spiritual house is in order. If you are already pregnant, it is not generally wise for a woman to fast, but you could set aside some special prayer time individually and as a couple to ask God to help you be your child’s spiritual teacher and to lead you to the people and resources you need to be the best parents possible.

We don’t usually think of pregnancy as a time that influences our children’s spiritual growth, but the more spiritually prepared and grounded you are now, the better. And what impact could praying out loud or singing songs of praise to God have on your growing baby?

Boris Brott, conductor of the Hamilton (Ontario) Philharmonic Symphony, stated, “As a young man, I was mystified by this unusual ability I had—to play certain pieces sight unseen. I’d be conducting a score for the first time and, suddenly the cello line would jump out at me… One day, I mentioned this to my mother who is a professional cellist…when she heard what the pieces were, the mystery quickly solved itself. All the scores I knew sight unseen were ones she had played while she was pregnant with me” (Secret Life of the Unborn Child, Thomas Verny, M.D., 1981, pp. 22-23).

Perhaps your prayers and songs could plant a seed that will help your child feel familiar and natural in having a relationship with God. We know that at least one baby in biblical history recognized and responded to the influence of God’s Holy Spirit. Elizabeth exclaimed that the baby in her womb leaped for joy when she heard the voice of Mary who was pregnant with the Son of God (Luke 1:41-44).

A spiritually healthy mother, demonstrating the fruits of peace and joy, also experiences a positive physical response in her body, producing a healthy environment for the growing baby.

Mom and Dad—and the two shall be one

After spiritual guidance, the next best gift you can give your child is a strong marriage. After the baby comes, a mother’s attention is naturally devoted to caring for the baby. Dads can feel neglected. Moms can feel overwhelmed and unsupported. If there have been any stress fractures in your marriage, having a baby will not heal them; it will only exaggerate them.

Now is the time to draw even closer together, to heal any wounds and extend forgiveness to each other. The strongest families have parents who are inseparably united and reach out to embrace their children together. These are marriage skills you will use your entire life. It is essential that you, your spouse and God become the threefold cord of Ecclesiastes 4:12.

Ready, set, push!

There are many birth options available to pregnant parents. The best resources in your community are often the independent childbirth educators. They know the scoop on doctors, midwives, doulas, hospitals, birth centers and home births. They are eager to answer your questions about birth methods and can also direct you to the best pregnancy exercise classes, as well as provide prenatal nutrition information. And of course, their classes are designed to prepare you and your spouse for the big day.

Once you decide, based on your personal research, what type of birth location and caregiver is right for you, interview potential caregivers like crazy. One of the biggest mistakes pregnant parents make is choosing a doctor who practices standard obstetric management of birth (which includes induction of labor, routine epidural and 29.1 percent cesarean rate), thinking they will get him or her to act like a midwife during the birth. Where midwifery is the model of care, and doctors are reserved for only high-risk pregnancies, C-sections are reduced to 5 to 10 percent, while reducing risks and improving outcomes for both moms and babies.

Not all midwives or doctors practice the same way, however. It’s worth your time to meet as many as you can with a list of questions in hand and ask for references from previous clients.

A pregnant woman’s attention naturally focuses on the day her baby is born, just like God’s attention is on His children and the day we enter into eternal life with Him. God has entrusted women with a very special representation of His labor of love for us.

Many women describe birth itself as a profound spiritual event that pulls them to a complete trust and dependence on God. It can be the hardest thing a woman does, yet one of the most empowering. The mind-set a woman brings to birth can make all the difference in her birth experience.

Remember what God said about His crowning creation: “Behold, it was very good.” God didn’t goof when He created the female body and the birth process. That becomes abundantly clear when you learn how each detail of labor actually benefits the mom and baby. Educate yourself to replace fear, dread and negativity with a spirit of love, joy, trust, acceptance and confidence. Love got the baby in there; love will get the baby out.

Recommended reading

An excellent resource for successful family life is Marriage and Family: The Missing Dimension. A free copy is available for you by mail or it can be downloaded to your computer.

Nancy Capo is a certified childbirth educator and doula since 1984 with the Bradley Method of Natural Childbirth, and has worked as a midwifery apprentice. Nancy is married to James Capo, pastor of the Tucson and Sierra Vista, Arizona, and El Paso, Texas, United Church of God congregations. They have three children, all born at home. This article previously appeared in United News, August 2006.

Pregnancy Resources

Childbirth Classes:

* The Bradley Method: www.bradleybirth.com, 1-800-4-A-BIRTH.
* International Childbirth Education Association (ICEA): www.icea.org.

Find a Doula:

* Doulas of North America (DONA): www.dona.org.

Find a Midwife:

* American College of Nurse Midwives (ACNM): www.midwife.org.
* MidwifeInfo: www.midwifeinfo.com.

Research Sites:

* International Cesarean Awareness Network (ICAN): www.ican-online.org.
* Childbirth.Org: www.childbirth.org.
* Midwifery Today: www.midwiferytoday.com.
* Gentle Birth Midwife Archives: www.gentlebirth.org/archives/.
* Waterbirth International: www.waterbirth.org.

Books:

* The Thinking Woman’s Guide to a Better Birth, by Henci Goer.
* Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth, by Ina May Gaskin.
* The Birth Book, by Dr. William Sears.
* Gentle Birth Choices, by Barbara Harper and Suzanne Arms.
* Hearts and Hands, by Elizabeth Davis.
* Husband-Coached Childbirth, by Dr. Robert Bradley.
* Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way, by Susan McCutcheon.