Knowing that abortion violates God’s law against murder, you are distressed to see your daughter wanting to make the wrong choice. What can you do? What should you do?  

Consider this advice from the apostle Paul. “If another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path” (Galatians 6:1, New Living Translation).

This explains the approach you should take with your daughter. Though you could never condone her decision to get an abortion, do not condemn her. Christ Himself said, “God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved” (John 3:17).

Be thankful that she has let you know what she is thinking. There is still hope she will decide against an abortion. Now is your opportunity to let her see God’s character in you, as you gently and humbly try to help her make the right choice.

Now would be a good time to pray, asking God for help and grace to speak with love to your daughter. Pray that there is an opportunity to let her see how her choice is not God’s will for her.

Since she has told you her plans, you have her trust; and now you must build on that trust. God does not force us to make the right decisions, but He leads us to the truth by His Spirit. As Jesus said, the Spirit “will guide you into all truth” (John 16:13). Likewise, you must lead your daughter to the right choice without forcing your will on her.

Therefore, with a meek attitude, try to get her to tell you more about her predicament. You could ask questions like, “When did find out you were pregnant?” and, “Does the father know?” Give her your complete attention and let her talk. This is not the time to tell her what to do. It is time to make your daughter know you are there for her and that you understand the seriousness of her choice. She needs to know that you will go through this crisis with her.

Let her tell you, as you draw her out with questions, how she arrived at her decision to abort her baby. You can ask her questions about how she feels about getting an abortion. You can ask her if she has considered other options.

As her parent, you have a deep interest in seeing your daughter have her baby. You can convey your feelings about the life that is in her womb because that will be your grandchild. But remember, you are there for her, so do not let your emotions dominate hers.  

She is likely very concerned about her future, because having a child would greatly impact her life. There are viable options other than abortion, and you can encourage her to explore them. Crisis Pregnancy Centers will offer help with this. Volunteer to help her explore the options.

Your daughter knows you are a person of faith, so when the time is right you can help her see the big picture of God’s plan for mankind. We know that God created us, and that each life has the potential to become immortal. As David so eloquently wrote of God's creation, “You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalms 139:13-14). We know that God gives life, and life belongs to God: “He gives to all life, breath, and all things” (Acts 17:25). (You may also find this article helpful: The Abortion Debate: What Does God Say?) 

When your daughter tells you that she has decided to abort her baby, it can be an upsetting and emotional moment. You know it is wrong, and she may also have her doubts about her decision. But be thankful she has come to you with this news. This is an opportunity to let God’s love and mercy shine in you. With prayer and the help of His Spirit, using a gentle and humble approach you can be a great comfort for your daughter. In a spirit of meekness, you may help her see that having an abortion is not God’s will for her.  

You cannot force your daughter to make the right choice, the choice for life. You can gently lead her, but you can never make the choice for her. Whatever choice she makes, take comfort in the knowledge that God is in control of all things. In His Kingdom, He will fix every wrong and “wipe away every tear” from our eyes (Revelation 21:4). The sinful practice of abortion will no longer be an ugly stain in our land. All the peoples of the earth will know the high value God puts on life. May God's Kingdom come soon!