Due to the sensitive nature of this subject matter, we recommend that younger teens discuss this issue with their parents before reading the article.

A teen girl walked into the pregnancy resource facility where I once volunteered. Her face was deeply etched with emotional pain, and her demeanor spoke of suffering and stress. 

Our mission was to support mothers with untimely pregnancies—so the scenario was not an unusual one. But before there was any opportunity to address the grief-stricken girl, a woman stridently pushed through the door and walked to the front desk. Her face also told a story—a story of resentment and anger. She asked for her daughter “to be seen right away!”

Unbeknown to us at the time, despite the building’s signage being perfectly clear, her mother mistakenly thought she had taken her daughter to an abortion clinic. Her daughter was indeed “seen right away,” and staff assisted her through the normal process where she ultimately heard her baby’s heartbeat. The sound of the heartbeat altered the scenario from “a problem” to a baby—and not just any baby, but her baby.

You can imagine the ensuing tension when she emerged from the room. She wanted her baby! 

Heartbeats never lie. Heartbeats tell of the life within the womb. However, the girl’s mother vowed the pregnancy would not continue—insisting this was not a baby, it was a mistake. The girl was terse in her response, accusing her mother of fearing the shame of neighbors and their church learning about the pregnancy. In a flash she was whisked out the door and driven to an abortion facility, which had been her mother’s intent all along.

I don’t know the rest of the story, but I do know that in trying to erase the problem, the resulting tragedy would have unintended consequences that would likely last a lifetime. 

After many years I still recall the expression imprinted on the girl’s face. If only her mother had stopped for just a moment to look beyond her own disgrace to truly see, she too would have grasped what the rest of us saw carved all over her daughter’s demeanor—anguish, torment and possibly irreconcilable damage to their relationship. 

This story demonstrates how easily emotions can surge and overwhelm people confronted by an unintended pregnancy, pushing them to consider desperate measures. 

THE UNINTENDED PREGNANCY

Teens, if you find yourself caught in a similar predicament, consider some of the following principles prior to making hasty decisions born of shame or the prospect of altered life plans. Also understand that my intent is not to dredge up pain lingering in anyone who mourns prior choices. To you, I simply remind you of Jesus Christ’s redemptive sacrifice that makes it possible for you to forge ahead anew. 

God is in the restoration business. He is the mender of broken lives, hearts and spirits, for all who have erred.

If you contact a pro-choice clinic contemplating abortion, realize the solutions presented will speak to every single one of your fears and offer a fix that promises to erase them all—and what a temptation this is when complicated thoughts and emotions rage within. “Stop, look and listen” before you cross this road. Stop—control your emotions instead of letting your emotions control you. Look—at all options and visualize how you might feel 15 years from now about your decision. Listen—to Scripture (Numbers 32:23), because sin always has consequences. 

As a teen, your circumstances may not allow for raising a child. So, consider what a blessed gift adoption would bring to another family. As has been said, “There is no such thing as an unwanted child; there are only ‘un-wanting parents.’” 

Recognize the inspiration others find in those who choose to do the right thing even when it’s the hard thing. When you step up to the plate, you encourage others to do the same. Your choice today can be a shining example to others who stumble tomorrow. 

FUNDAMENTAL LESSONS FROM A BIBLICAL EXAMPLE

Consider the story of David and Bathsheba found in 2 Samuel 11-12 (you might want to pause for a moment and read it quickly). David had sex with another man’s wife, and the result was an unintended pregnancy. To try and cover it up, David tried to make Bathsheba’s husband, Uriah, think it was his baby. When that didn’t work, David saw to it that Uriah was killed in battle. With that story in mind, consider the following:

• Compounding a bad decision with another bad decision is never a good idea. Be aware of the progressive component of sin—i.e., sin that isn’t repented of often leads to more and worse sins—and halt the destructive cycle. Choosing to have an abortion does not “undo” the sin and consequences of premarital sex; it only adds more sin and consequences to it.
• Seek godly counsel. It cannot be emphasized enough just how much you need a sounding board during this time of vulnerability. Seek out a supportive family member, pastor or trusted mentor—someone who will bring calm, spiritual perspective and accountability to the table. 
• What you’ve already done doesn’t have to dictate what you do next. Be courageous and make the next choice a step in the right direction. Sometimes what presents itself as an “easy way out” of the short-term difficult circumstances becomes the hardest way forward in the long term.
• The real choice before you is to either refuse or accept responsibility for your choices. In King David’s case, the escalating chaos ended only when he acknowledged his sins, repented and took responsibility for his mistakes. 

Recognize the inspiration others find in those who choose to do the right thing even when it’s the hard thing. Your choice today can be a shining example to others who stumble tomorrow. 

• Turning to God in confession of sins and repentance doesn’t mean we escape consequences, but it does begin our moral reset and the path to true healing and peace. 
• Don’t let the past determine your future. Champions of faith, like King David, aren’t champions because they didn’t sin, but because they repented and didn’t let their sin define them.
• Understand that your past does not hold back God’s future work in and through you. David and Bathsheba went on to have four sons (1 Chronicles 3:5), including Solomon, of whom it was said, “The Lord loved him” (2 Samuel 12:24). In the years to come, David and Bathsheba’s lineage is a thread that is woven through many biblical men and women of faith and ultimately directly to Jesus Christ.

The struggle for parents who learn of their daughter’s pregnancy can sometimes be as hard for them as it is for her. If you are a teen impacted by an unintended pregnancy, consider the opportunity you now have to exhibit godly character by taking responsibility and making wise decisions going forward. Also consider that while this is a challenge you may never face personally, you may someday have a friend, coworker or sibling who does. By sharing with them your thoughts on how to handle the situation in a responsible way, you can be a light in their life when they are in a time of darkness.

God is in the restoration business. He is the mender of broken lives, hearts and spirits, for all who have erred. As we consider unintended pregnancies and those who find themselves in this dilemma, let us mercifully support and comfort them with the same mercy and comfort “the Father of mercies and God of all comfort” gives to us (2 Corinthians 1:3-7) when we face seemingly insurmountable challenges.  CC