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In Memory of Dad

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In Memory of Dad

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With summer comes Father's Day, celebrated in the United States this year on June 21. It's a time when we pause to show appreciation to our fathers for all they do for us. Father's Day will be bittersweet this year for my family. We lost Dad in March, a victim of lymphoma, a type of cancer that attacks the body's lymph system. He fought it with determination, but succumbed after a nearly five-month battle. As his children, we grieve over the loss, but we rejoice that God granted him a long life—83 years. He lived to see his great-grandchildren, a privilege denied many who die before their time. Some of our most cherished pictures of him were taken just months before he died, when he was still in good health and played with his 3-year-old great-grandson David. There is a picture of him with his son, his grandson and great-grandson—four generations of Kelley men. In the weeks after a parent dies, we tend to reflect on their lives. Like all men, Dad had his faults. But he was called to the truth more than 40 years ago and made great strides in overcoming those faults and living by God's law, as we all must do. Although he often had difficulty showing it, my dad was a loving father. He showed his love by his actions, not his words. Looking back, I can see several parallels in the way a loving father cares for his children, and the way our Heavenly Father cares for us. Let me share a few. "I Love You, Even When We're Apart" Dad was an electrician and electrical designer. In the early 1960s he worked as a job superintendent for a large construction company that had a federal contract to upgrade runway lights at major airports around the United States. Dad's job was to go to a city, which could have been located anywhere in the country, and hire and supervise electricians to put in the runway lighting systems. The job took Dad away from home for extended periods, sometimes up to two months. But he would call home three or four times a week. Of course, most of those conversations would be with Mom, but often he would take time to talk to us, his children. He cared enough to stay in touch and let us know that he cared. We knew he loved us, even when he wasn't around. We have never seen our Heavenly Father, but we know He loves us. How do we know this? We know when we get answers to prayers. We know when we experience divine intervention in our lives. We also know this because He has revealed to us the great plan of salvation, by which we know that we can be born into His family, actually become His very children. Notice 1 John 3:1: "Behold, what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called the children of God." "I'll Always Be There for You" My dad and mom moved several times in their lives, even after we children grew up and moved away. We might have been separated from him by several hundred miles, but the message was clear: If you need me, I'll be there. We knew he was never more than a phone call away; and if necessary, he would drop whatever he was doing and respond immediately. That's just the way a loving father is. Consider how God our Father has the same attitude toward us. He knows that we have needs, that our lives are subject to all sorts of troubles and trials, yet He tells us, "I will never leave you nor forsake you" (Hebrews 13:5). David, a man after God's own heart, knew this and internalized it deeply. He often turned to God for help and intervention in times of crisis. More importantly, David stayed in a constant state of closeness to his Heavenly Father. The Psalms are full of references to God's help in David's life. Notice a couple of examples. Psalm 3:3-4: "But You, O Lord, are a shield for me, my glory and the One who lifts up my head. I cried to the Lord with my voice, and He heard me from His holy hill." Psalm 9:9: "The Lord also will be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble. And those who know Your name will put their trust in You; for You, Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You." "I Would Sacrifice Anything for Your Welfare" Our family is a big one; there were six children. That did create some interesting situations, especially at mealtime. For dessert, Mom would often bake a pie. After everyone had their slice, often there might be one piece left. Now, Dad loved desserts as much as any of us, but often Dad would give up that last piece for one of us kids to have. Just a minor thing, really, but it does show the spirit of self-sacrifice that fathers usually have. While I was in college, Dad wanted to buy a new car. The '66 Ford station wagon, which had been the family car for years, was showing the effects of too many miles and too many passengers. Dad had his eye on a nicer car, a Mercury Monterrey. But by my senior year the money from my summer and part-time jobs was running out. I, like so many students, needed a money transfusion, but the family finances would not handle both. For Dad, the decision was a no-brainer—the new car would have to wait. How inescapable is the comparison here! Nearly 2,000 years ago, the great Creator was willing to sacrifice His Son, the Word by whom the universe was created, in order to save poor, wretched mankind. He was willing to see His Son die a horrible death to pay the death penalty for mankind. The Gospel accounts of Christ's crucifixion give us only a glimpse of what our Savior endured. We can only try to imagine what our Heavenly Father must have endured to see the death of His Son. "I Have a Legacy for You" In the last few months before his death, Dad finalized his will. Always, his first concern was Mom's welfare. He wanted to see to it she was provided for and would have the means to live adequately the rest of her life. After seeing to Mom, his will provided for an inheritance of the rest of his estate to his children. His legacy was important to him, and Dad spent many hours planning how his assets would be distributed after his death. He did not want to leave it to the arbitrary laws of the state or the whims of a probate judge. Of course, physical parents can leave only physical legacies. But consider the spiritual legacy that our spiritual Father has for us. His legacy for us, made possible by the death of Jesus Christ, is that we will inherit all things as members of His very family! Certainly, there can be no greater legacy than this, which our spiritual Father has in store for us. Peter wrote that our spiritual Father has promised us an inheritance "incorruptible and undefiled and that does not fade away, reserved in heaven for you" (1 Peter 1:4). But we must be changed in order to inherit that reward. "Now this I say, brethren, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God; nor does corruption inherit incorruption... For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed. For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on immortality" (1 Corinthians 15:50, 52-53). Truly, a father's love and concern is a small reflection of the love of God, our spiritual Father. Let's stop and reflect this Father's Day on what our Heavenly Father does, has done and will do for us. We miss you, Dad. UN In memory of Jesse E. Kelley, Aug. 25, 1925-March 8, 2009.