So, you’re single, and you often wonder why. You’ve been ready for some time to move on to the “next phase” of life, but hold on—is this just a phase, or are you destined to stay here? Though I wish I could reassure you that yes, this is just a stage in a plan that one day involves marriage, I will instead share a story that offers hope. This biblical character was well aware that whether he remained single or got married one day, obeying God was the best way to ensure joy in life.

Boaz owned a barley field near Bethlehem, and he trusted God in the way he ran his business. He kept God’s instructions to leave grain for the poor to glean (Deuteronomy 24:19), rather than trying to eke every ounce of profit out of his harvest. In fact, compared to other land owners’ fields, his had a good reputation for being a safe place to glean (Ruth 2:22).

Boaz had a kind heart that sought to take care of others. He provided Ruth with food and water when she came to work and he ensured that his men left extra grain for her (Ruth 2:8-16). What stood out to him about this woman was the way in which she served others—a godly trait that he himself lived by.

But the real test of Boaz’s trust in God came immediately after Ruth’s proposal. Boaz had certainly waited a while to find a mate—he indicates gratitude that Ruth had chosen him, rather than a younger man (Ruth 3:10). Yet, he was faced with a dilemma. Although he was a close relative of Naomi, he was not, as she had supposed, their family’s kinsman-redeemer (who was responsible for marrying a widow and providing an heir for the deceased). This meant Boaz did not have the first right to marry Ruth, much as he wanted to (Ruth 3:12-13).

The natural response might have been to despair and bemoan how unfair life was. Perhaps Boaz had faced rejection or disappointed hopes in the past in his years of singleness. But Naomi knew her relative to be a man of action and reassured Ruth that “the man will not rest until he has concluded the matter this day” (Ruth 3:18). Boaz trusted God and His will for his life enough to take a brave course of action with an uncertain outcome. Ruth 4:1-12 details his meeting with the kinsman-redeemer. He followed all the proper legal procedures, including ensuring that witnesses were present. Although the relative was initially eager to redeem the land, Boaz waited till the right moment to present the catch—there was a responsibility that came with this redemption. If Boaz had taken matters into his own hands and tried to marry Ruth anyway, a terrible legal battle could have ensued. By being honest, trusting that God had the situation under control and presenting the crucial details of inheritance at the right time, Boaz met with success.

All of this is not to say that trusting God with our relationships will always meet with the kind of success we want. Boaz’s relative could still have said, “Sure, I’ll redeem her.” But just as Ruth had made a decision to follow God, even when it led her to the unfamiliar town of Bethlehem, Boaz had chosen to follow God in all areas of his life.

Does trusting God mean you will wait a long time for a mate? Maybe. But isn’t that better than making a choice you would regret? The consequences of compromising with God’s way to get a spouse are not worth it. But putting his relationship status in God’s hands did not make Boaz a man of inaction. He still took action—godly action to remedy the situation. He found ways to serve Ruth, created opportunities to spend time with her and when the time came, was willing and prepared to face a difficult conversation he knew was necessary.

There are plenty of ways that you, as a single person, have opportunities to obey and serve God. You probably can relate to those who feel left out. Look for people at church who are by themselves and those in your community who are often alone, and find ways to make them feel included. For a shut-in, writing a card or taking the time for a phone call makes a huge difference. At church services, find the people who have come alone and find ways to help. Maybe it’s a parent whose mate doesn’t attend and has her hands full watching the kids, leaving her with few opportunities for conversations. Perhaps a visitor has come for the first time and doesn’t know anyone well enough to feel comfortable starting a conversation. Take time to reach out to the teenagers, who often feel very alone in smaller congregations full of older members. Especially if you are a young single, teens may have an easier time relating to you than to a couple with kids or in the retirement phase of life. As you have these conversations and reach out to others of all ages, try not only to listen, but also to ask questions that allow you to get to know them better. Ask them how they are doing. What are their interests and needs? You will develop the type of caring habits that characterize servants of God like Boaz.

If you feel stuck in this phase of life, consider how you can faithfully follow God’s instructions. Waiting on God doesn’t mean signing up for months or years of inactivity. Just be sure that “whatever you do, do all to the glory of God,” (1 Corinthians 10:31). Let God guide your relationships and be sure to thank Him as He leads you to the future He has planned for your good.