Sabbath Thought - A Friend

Go into any bookstore or search online for manuals on relationships, and you will be inundated with possibilities and perspectives. So where can you go for a helpful, basic manual on relationships? How can you learn to be a great friend and to have great friends?  The Bible is such a manual, and one of the best parts of the Bible to read on the how-to's of friendship is the book of Proverbs.

One of the best principles about how to be a good friend is recorded in Proverbs 18:24: "There are 'friends' who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother" (New Living Translation).  In short, being a good friend helps others to move in a better path.

What do you bring to a friendship? Being a friend involves care and loyalty. It means being truly interested in the other person and in his or her needs and feelings. This means giving more to the friendship than taking from it. It means being there when needed (27:10), and it means being someone who is dependable (17:17) and accountable. This is all tempered with not being inconsiderate (27:14) and not gossiping (16:28) or passing along something that would hurt your friend in public (17:9; 11:13).

Good friendships include the ability to be completely truthful with each other. One of the main foundations of friendship is the absence of deceit. Such a friendship will attract others (22:11). Because of the trust already developed, a friend can be brutally honest (27:6). Rather than causing hurt, it is understood that what is said is simply to help (27:9) and make all individuals in the friendship even "sharper" (27:17).  A good friend is not all about correction, however, and uses words carefully (17:27). He or she doesn't lash out with angry words but rather gives a "soft answer" and builds others up with what is said (15:1, 4).

The Proverbs also show us the type of people who should not be our friends. Avoid those who engage in sinful and lawless ways, we're advised (1:10-16), along with those who "sow discord" (6:14) and those who live a lifestyle that will leave them broken (6:12-15).

As much as physical friendships are important to us, there is another one that is even more important. Each of us needs a very deep and personal relationship--a friendship--with God. This can be hard to grasp in our modern world that doubts whether God even exists, but it is a necessity for our spiritual growth and the basis for knowing how to be a great friend (1:7).  In developing a friendship with God, we are strengthened (3:26; 12:2). In having a pleasing friendship with God, we will even have peace with those who oppose us (16:7). God is the perfect Friend who is there for us at the right time and even promises to protect us (30:5) and direct us (3:5-6).  The same principles that make a physical friendship work also apply to a friendship with God.  Associating with God helps us to move in a better path.

So how do our friendships (and you as a friend) stack up to these attributes? Are you a friend who sticks closer than a brother? Are you a friend who challenges with kindness? Are you a friend people can trust?  Applying these principles may seem difficult. You may feel like you are having to carry the brunt of the relationship, but if you put these points into practice, an interesting thing will begin to happen. People of like mind will begin to gravitate to you.

How do you become a good friend to someone? It's in the manual.

I wish you a profitable and value filled Sabbath,

Dan Dowd

5 August, 2022