Faith Comes By Hearing (Blog #6)

                                  Learning Lessons Along the Way

                                  Pastor Fred Crow, Eureka and San Jose

I learned a major lesson the beginning of my freshman year at college. It wasn't from class, it was a personal encounter. Recently, a situation came up and there it was again, decades later, waiting for me to trip. It's funny how we remember events and situations from so many years ago. Thankfully, we can also remember the remedy.

I had been chatting with a senior co-ed about an ongoing personal frustration I was experiencing; one that had been with me for years, one that I had resigned myself into accepting as being a permanent flaw and was trying to move on. We were friends. I trusted her judgement. She was kind enough to listen to my reasons - well, excuses. The main one being that I had inherited my poor behavior from my parents; it was their example and bad parenting that caused me such trouble. My thoughts and actions were their fault.

She looked away for a moment, then back at me and asked a simple, piercing question. "Do you still live with your parents?" I laughed a little, "No. I live on campus in the dorms." She smiled. "Then, do you talk to your parents daily, receiving instructions that must be followed?" I responded, "No, of course not." Bringing me to my reality she added, "Then, really, you are where you are because YOU choose to be where you are." Ouch!

It seems that as long as I had something or someone else to blame for my behavior, I didn't have to face and change that behavior. I might learn to live with it, believing someone else was responsible for me...even though they no longer held sway over me. Ouch!

My friend had stripped away my excuse for where I found myself. It was time to go forward by my choice, not by default. It was time to live and change by choice, not simply accepting wherever I found myself.  

Sometimes we may do that spiritually. We have something that will not go away, something seemingly that we cannot conquer - we might even find someone or something to blame for our failure. We may give in and give up. The trouble is, we've been given a clear mandate from God: to overcome.

Under inspiration, the Apostle John wrote to the seven churches in Asia, identifying areas each needed to change and overcome (Revelation 2:7, 11, 17, 26; 3: 5, 12, 21). Each had strengths, each had weaknesses, but all seven were told to overcome if they were to receive entry into the Kingdom of God.

To overcome whatever obstacle blocking our path to spiritual success, we must take responsibility for where we find ourselves; for our own thoughts and actions (Philippians 2:12).

The first step to my recovery that freshman year was to admit I was responsible for me, and no one else. And if I didn't like my actions and consequences, I would have to change.

American philosopher, author, and motivational speaker Dr. Wayne Dyer opined rather bluntly, "Everything you do is based on the choices you make. It's not your parents, your past relationships, your job, the economy, the weather, an argument or your age that is to blame. You and only you are responsible for every decision and choice you make, Period."

Taking responsibility for ourselves frees us from the self-deception that we cannot change because we're not in control. We are. We can. We must.