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A Kinder, Gentler You

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A Kinder, Gentler You

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A Kinder, Gentler You

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President George Herbert Walker Bush had a vision for a kinder, gentler, nation. Whether he was successful or not is left for history to determine. But what about for yourself? Regardless of what the world around us may do, you can be a kinder, gentler, version of you!

Transcript

[Dan Preston] There was a little boy playing in the park. He was digging around in the sandbox there by himself and, low and behold, he unearths a large gold nugget. He tried to pick it up but it was just too much for him to carry by himself. Well he, being the young man that he was, lived earnestly by the rule, “finders keepers.” But he needed some help to get it out of there, so he knew he had to go home and get Mom or Dad. But he was also afraid somebody might come and steal it. So he looked around in the park to see who he might be able to trust to guard his find. He looked there and he saw one was a town drunk sleeping on the park bench. The fellow was known to have spent most of his free time – or not so free time – in jail, and had been found to be a thief and steal whatever he could, and sell it for booze. The other person was the town mayor. And although the mayor had been accused of things from time to time, he had never been convicted. So he decided before he went home, he had to make a choice – who he would choose to watch his prize. He made a choice and ran home. He told his dad what happened. As they were going back to the park his dad asked, “Well, son, you never did say. Who did you choose?” He said, “Well I chose the town drunk, Dad.” He said, “You did? Well don't you know how many times that guy has been caught stealing and wound up in jail?” He said, “Yes I do.” He said, “That's exactly why I chose him, because I know the mayor has too good a lawyer.”

All right. Let's begin today by reading a note that was written over twenty-five years ago. It was a private note at the time, but has since become public. It goes like this. It says:

            Dear Bill,

When I walked into this office just now I felt the same sense of wonder and respect that I felt four years ago. I know you will feel that too. I wish you great happiness here. I never felt the loneliness some Presidents have described. There will be very tough times, made even more difficult by criticism you may not think is fair. I'm not a very good one to give advice, but just don't let the critics discourage you, or push you off course. You will be our president when you read this note. I wish you well. I wish your family well. Your success now is our country's success. I am rooting hard for you.

Good Luck,
George

You may guess, by now, this is a note that President George Herbert Walker Bush – or, as sometimes known, Bush 41 – left for President-Elect Bill Clinton on the morning of January 20, 1993. That morning President Bush walked in the office as President, by that afternoon Bill Clinton would be President. That was a note he left for Bill Clinton. Certainly President Bush was known as being a gracious and humble man. While critics may say that he was perhaps too meek and mild, or that he was out of touch with the younger generation, few would argue his character. Even his rival to the election, President Clinton, said, “He made us feel at home as much as he could. Total class.” I read this note…and this quote was from an article on www.cnn.com, dated December 1, 2018, written by Faith Karimi. The name of the article was The Letter George H.W. Bush Left for Clinton is a Lesson in Grace.

The type of grace spoken about here is far different than the type of grace we typically think about as Christians. We often think of grace as an unearned gift, or unmerited pardon – meaning although we are guilty, we don't pay for our crime. Most commonly, we think about this in terms of the gift of eternal life and salvation. Most commonly, or often rather, we should say, as Christians sometimes we are accused of not believing in grace – that we feel like we are earning salvation. We recognize that's not the truth. It's not a matter of grace or law – what am I under? But of both. Eternal life – that sort of grace – is a gift from God. But that sort of grace is much different from the grace I'd like to focus on today.

I have another article here about President Bush. It helps better define the type of grace I'd like to talk about today. This is from www.cbsnews.com, that was written December 3, 2018. It was written by David Morgan. The title of the article is Colin Powell: George H. W. Bush Was “A Man with Vision.” Colin Powell, as you may recall, was the Secretary of State under President Bush – or, excuse me, not Secretary of State – Head of the Joint Chiefs of Staff under President Bush, during his term in office. The article says this:

“Humility would come to define his Presidency by being a part of his policy. It was always there.”, Powell said. “He was tough. Let no one think that he was soft. But he always cared for the other person. He always tried to look out for the needs and the wants of the other person.”

While unearned mercy, or grace, in that sense, is important to us as a Christian, it's not the type of grace I'd like to focus on today. The type of grace I'd like to focus on today is the quality of being gracious, or being kind – the quality of being gracious or kind. If you’d like a title, I've titled this message, A Kinder, Gentler You. You may recall President Bush was known for that phrase –  kinder, gentler nation – what he had a focus for, what he had hopes for – a  kinder, gentler you.

Let's begin by examining the scripture to make the clear distinction between these two types of grace we're talking about. Let's begin in Ephesians, chapter 2 – Ephesians, chapter 2, and we’ll start in 4. It says:

Ephesians 2:4-9 – But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved). Some might note, “Well, that’s a parenthetical expression. It's not really there.” Oh it's there. At times, some have tried to mis-argue what this verse is saying, even though they were trying to make the statement and argument that we might make, which is: just because we are saved by grace doesn't mean you don't have to obey God's law. But that parenthetical expression does belong there. It says: (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves. It is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.

This section makes clear that grace – unmerited pardon – is a gift from God. We believe that this scripture is accurate and that it is true – that it is only by grace that we can be saved. Keeping the Sabbath, the holy days, etcetera, do not earn us salvation.

There is a story about the French general, Napoleon Bonaparte. I don't know how true the story is, but it goes something like this: A young French soldier deserted his post. He was captured and brought back, faced a court martial, and the standard punishment for deserting your post under General Bonaparte, was death. He was given that sentence, but in the time leading up to it, word got back to the young man's mother. She went and plead her case to Napoleon. She told him, “Please spare my son – his life.” He answered rather quickly, “Give me one reason why I should be merciful?” Tearfully, the old woman replied, “If he deserved a pardon, he wouldn't need mercy.” Struck by the old woman's words, Napoleon had mercy and spared the soldier's life. We can't earn salvation. That is the grace of God.

Notice, however, what it says, as we continue to read in Ephesians 2 – what it says in verse 10. It says:

V-10 – For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them. We were created to do good works. You know how we know what those good works are? Through God's law. Therefore, keeping God's law is not something that we do to be saved, but because God is merciful, and He is gracious towards us. We strive to obey Him because we are saved. That is the Grace of God – unmerited, unearned salvation – unearned pardon.

Let's now compare that, then to the type of grace we'd really like to focus on today. Grace that we, as humans, can have, or should strive to have.

In 2 Peter 3 – begin turning there. In 2 Peter 3, we see Peter warning his readers about the coming day of the Lord. This scripture – we won't read all of it – but it talks about knowing that heaven and earth will melt away with fervent heat, so what manner of Christian ought we to be? This is often a scripture we look at when we start to look at any sort of prophetic message. We have to remind us: Why are we given prophecy? We’re given it as a reminder that we know what's going to happen, and with that in mind, what kind of a person should we be? But Peter goes on here – in 2 Peter 3 – he reminds them to endure, to be steadfast to the end. It concludes with this bit of encouragement in 2 Peter 3, verse 17. He says:

2 Peter 3:17 – You therefore, beloved, since you know this beforehand, beware lest you also fall from your own steadfastness, being led away with the error of the wicked. He says, “Don't get caught up in all the things that might lead you away from being steadfastly diligent – to being obedient and faithful to God and His law. In verse 18, he says: but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

We see this command to grow in grace and knowledge. Now if grace is strictly thought of as unmerited pardon and the free gift of God, how can we grow in it? If there is nothing we can do to earn it, how can we grow in it? How can we be “more saved?” Clearly we can't. So we understand that there is a different application of the word grace here. It helps to look at the definition. The Greek word here is charis – C-H-A-R-I-S. As you might guess, it's the root word for the word charity. If you're interested in looking it up a little bit more, it's under Strong's #5485. But it defines it as this – it gives about four definitions – the first one is this: It says, “grace, as a gift or blessing brought to man by Jesus Christ,”  which we've already determined is very important, but not the type of grace we're focusing on today. The other definitions include: “favor, gratitude, and kindness.” It’s this set of definitions that Peter was admonishing us to grow in – to be more favorable towards one another – our human interaction with each other. Peter warned, “When times get tough” – and times are going to get tough – “don't lose your graciousness.” Don't lose your graciousness.

This type of grace – kindness, gentleness, humility – is the type that President Bush was known for. As mentioned, it was one of his key catchphrases, “a kinder, gentler nation” – that, along with the catchphrase, “a thousand points of light” – and, “read my lips: no new taxes,” which ultimately probably lead to his not being reelected, but that's another story. Well, I'm sure President Bush had his faults. Those who knew him best said he had this ability to be gracious during hard times.

Reading again from that first article mentioned – the one from CNN, by Faith Karimi – it says this:

“Just because you run against someone does not mean you have to be enemies,” Bush once said. “Politics does not have to be mean and ugly.” “Bush lived by that quote,” former Secretary of State, Colin Powell, told CNN. “I wish we could get some of that back in our system now,” said Powell.

What would that be like – if we turned on our evening news and saw everyone live by that? Well, we probably won't see that when we turn on the news or read blogs about politicians – where people don't get mean and ugly, but instead, are more kind and more gentle. It doesn't have to be that way. In fact, it can't be that way for you and I, as Christians – as followers of Jesus Christ. Every day should be a day where we try to be more kind, more gentle. That's hard to do sometimes. That's hard to do. Mr. Brown pointed out sometimes we have to use discernment and judgment. Sometimes you're in that situation and somebody says, “Merry Christmas,” and the appropriate answer is, “Have a nice day,” or “Be safe.” Sometimes it's hard to do and discern. Sometimes, we can let our human nature get the best of us and tell them, “Bah humbug,” or whatever. And we do that. We've all done that. And while we don't mean to let it happen, we often do. We often do forget to be kind, to be gentle, to act with humility.

Sometimes, we may even think God has forgotten to be gracious to us – not in the sense of the gift of eternal life, but in the sense of kindness and gentleness. You might think, “C'mon God. I'm praying every day, paying my tithes, showing up for church each week. How come I'm going through these trials? Did You not notice what I've been doing? Have You not seen that I'm trying to obey You?” It might help to know and understand that you and I aren't the first ones to ever feel that way towards God.

Let's turn back to the book of Psalms – Psalms 77. We’ll start in verse 7 – Psalms 77, and verse 7:

Psalms 77:7-9 – Will the Lord cast off forever? And will He be favorable no more? Has His mercy ceased forever? Has His promise failed forevermore? Has God forgotten to be gracious? Has He in anger shut up His tender mercies? Now this isn't talking about the grace of eternal life and salvation. This is talking about kindness and gentleness. That's what David was experiencing at this moment in time. Actually, it's probably not David. It's Asaph who wrote this particular psalm. That's what he was experiencing at that moment in time. He said, “Did God forget to be nice to me?” We've had those feelings. He asked these rhetorical questions. He wondered, “Has God forgotten me?”

Maybe we're like that guy who had a bad day at work. There was a lot of pressure. There was a deadline to get to, people that he was counting on to do their part really weren't doing their part, but finally, lunch time came, and he had to eat. He really didn't have time to go out and he had forgotten his lunch that morning, so he had to run down the street to the local delicatessen. He phoned his order ahead of time, and since it was cold, he decided to just jump in the car, drive down there – two blocks away. He went down there, he picked up his lunch. He had to wait in line for the person who couldn't quite get their order right in front of him. He was getting very frustrated. By the time he got his order, thirty minutes had been eaten into his half hour lunch hour, and he had to get back and get back to work. So hastily he ran out the door and walked back to work. Got through the end of the day. Things still weren't quite great, but it was time to go home. And he went out to the parking lot, and he noticed his car was missing. Upset, he said, “God, how could you have let somebody come by and stolen my car?” He called the police. He said, “Officer, my car has been stolen!” He said, “Can you describe it?” He said, “Yes. It's a Buick – 2007, grey in color.” He said, “Where did you say you work?” He said, “702 Main St.” He said, “Really? Well you're in luck.” He said, “We had a report earlier today from the owner of a delicatessen that only is about two blocks away from there. They said somebody drove down there and they left their car there all day.” In his rush, he forgot about the car until he needed it. Do we forget about God until we need Him? Do we ever treat God like that genie in the bottle? Call upon Him when we need Him, but the rest of the time we forget He's there. One way we could avoid doing that is to remember God is good all the time. God is good all the time. Job said in essence, “God thank You for being good to me, and not just fair, because if you were fair, I'd be ashes by now.”

A little bit later here in Psalm 77, picking it up in verse 11, we see a reminder that God is good. He says:

V-11-15 – I will remember the works of the Lord. Surely I will remember Your wonders of old. I will also meditate on all Your work, and talk of Your deeds. Your way, O God, is in the sanctuary. Who is so great a God as our God? You are the God who does wonders. You have declared Your strength among the peoples. You have with Your arm redeemed Your people, the sons of Jacob and Joseph. Sometimes when we think God has forgotten to treat us graciously, we need to step back and think for a moment and reflect on our lives as a whole. And think God has been kind and gracious to me. I may be in a bit of a ditch right now, but God has been good. He has been kind and gentle.

Let's turn then the question and focus on ourselves. How do we become a kinder, gentler version of you and me? Some tend to focus on kindness, or gentleness, or favor – maybe in a financial sense. And it certainly can be that, but it can go far beyond that. Turn to an example here – 2 Corinthians, chapter 8, and we’ll start in verse 1 – Paul writing, of course, to the brethren of Corinth here. It says:

2 Corinthians 8:1-7 – Moreover, brethren, we make known to you the grace of God bestowed on the churches of Macedonia. Now here we read grace of God, and it could, perhaps, be taken a couple of ways – talking about the unmerited pardon – salvation there, that only God can give – or it can be talking about kindness and gentleness towards man. There, perhaps, even is room for duality in understanding the scripture, but let's continue to read on in verse 2: That in a great trial of affliction the abundance of their joy and their deep poverty abounded in the riches of their liberality. For I bear witness that according to their ability, yes, and beyond their ability, they were freely willing, imploring us with much urgency that we would receive the gift and the fellowship of the ministering to the saints. And not only as we had hoped, but they first gave themselves to the Lord, and then to us by the will of God. So here we see a focus on this gracious gift. It was a financial gift to help support the work, help support the ministry. And first, he thanks and praises them for their dedication to God, and then for the kindness, and goodness and graciousness towards the work – towards mankind. And it wasn't like they had money to spare. Paul said they really gave all they could and then some. They went above and beyond the measure of what should be expected. And while he thanks them, in that sense, for their financial contributions, he continues on to talk about what they gave – how they gave, what they gave and how they could give, that was something much more than money. Picking it back up in verse 6: So we urged Titus, that as he had begun, so he would also complete this grace in you as well. But as you abound in everything—in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in all diligence, and in your love for us—see that you abound in this grace also. While certainly he was encouraging them to support the work, he was encouraging them to do much more than that. Notice the things that he points out: in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in diligence, and in love – all things that don't cost a dime and things that, quite frankly, you can't buy. He points to a variety of things that you and I can do to be gracious, to be kind, be gentle. That might involve sharing – sharing a bit of the challenges of our faith – things that we've had to endure. Perhaps it involves the success of our speech – of our words – not of any great thing of our own doing, but perhaps at a point in time when you weren't quite sure how to answer that co-worker who asks you, “Why aren't you keeping Christmas?” Then God gave you the words that you needed. Maybe it's relating to someone – a brother, or sister, or a neighbor, or a random stranger – that you're enduring some trial and you found it difficult to be diligent and honor God and you know what? Maybe you fell short, as we all do, but that, in time, through the guidance of God's Spirit, He lead you back to repentance. Or maybe it's a time when you found and saw love in a way you never expected. All these are ways we can abound in grace. All these are ways we can take time to be a kinder and gentler form of ourselves.

Human beings cannot be gracious in the way that God is – that is granting eternal life. But we can be gracious in the giving of kindness and in gentleness. It's hard sometimes to define what positive impacts could have – kind of like telling someone, “Smoking is not bad for you, so don't smoke all your life, and see how much longer you live.” Well, it's a little bit hard to define, right? Well, what's easier to define is, “Okay, smoke three packs a day and see what happens.” It's that way with human relationships as well. Sometimes it's easier to see what happens with the lack of kindness, with the lack of gentleness. You may have noticed in this week's eNews, there is an excerpt from a blog written by Steve Nutzman. Steve Nutzman is one of the regional pastors in the United Church of God. He lives in Boise, Idaho. He wrote this. He said:

What if much more of the fruit of God's Spirit – love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control – had been displayed in the ministry and membership over the years? It would literally have changed the course of history. It's a very sobering thought to think about.

Sadly, our history as God's people is not as good as what it could have perhaps been. No wonder Paul gave this warning in Colossians 4, verse 5. We heard this in the sermonette, but we will review it again.

Colossians 4:5-6 – Walk in wisdom toward those who are outside, redeeming the time. So certainly here's an admonition to those who may not be of the same faith, but if it applies in walking carefully, choosing our words wisely, to those outside, does it not also apply to us – brother to brother, sister to sister? Verse 6: Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one. I've got here the New Living Translation, as well – Colossians 4, verse 6. This is from the NLT – verse 6: Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone. Certainly, again, that applies to those outside. How about inside as well? We are an example. And Grandpa always said, “You're an example, whether you want to be one or not – good or bad.”

The notes here, in the commentary – and this is from the Chronological Life Application Study Bible, New Living Translation, produced by, published by Tindale. The commentary note says this on Colossians 4:6.

When we tell others about Christ – or when we relay to other Christians even already our belief or our experiences – it's important to always be gracious in what we say. No matter how much sense the message makes, we lose our effectiveness if we are not courteous. Just as we like to be respected, we must respect others if we want them to listen to what we have to say.

Certainly, we've all said, “Words come back” at times when maybe we know what we meant but it just didn't come out quite the right way. Here in Colossians, we're reminded take a moment, be careful with our words. Are they kind? Are they gracious? Are they gentle? Imagine – and this has been pointed out – what a difference our recent church history might look like had we been a little bit better at this as a body of Christ.

It's easy to feel the way David did, or rather Asaph, did there in Psalm 77 – wondering if, perhaps, God forgot about us, or getting that attitude, “Well, I'll start being nice to others the moment they start being nice to us.” Maybe we've said that. Maybe we've heard that even. But the reality is, as Christians that's not an option. That's not an option for each of us. In fact, it's a command. It's our calling.

Luke, chapter 6, verse 31 – I'm breaking into the story here. We read Christ's command to us:

Luke 6:31 – And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise. You may have written in the margin of your Bible, “The Golden Rule,” which is not “He who has the gold makes the rules.” I know that seems to be the way it feels sometimes. No, treat others as you would like to be treated. We don't wait until things get better and then start being nice. Sometimes, we have to do, as Asaph reminded us, and go back a little ways, and stop and think, “Yeah, maybe this person said something rude or inappropriate to me, but they're not always like that. Perhaps they're having a bad day, or perhaps I'm having a bad day. Maybe, who knows, even possibly there is some small, teeny, tiny, little chance I was wrong in my attitude – in my approach.” We go back a little ways. We humble ourselves. We be graceful. Sometimes it's hard to define exactly what that is. And when I think about it, I think about my grandmother. I think about my Mom's mom, who, no matter how difficult a situation might be, no matter if somebody said or did something that was rude or inappropriate – maybe around the dinner table – Grandma somehow had the right words – the right thing to say or do – to help ease the tension and to help smooth things over in that moment. She was a gracious lady.

When we handle things with grace, we help move the moment forward, as it were, without causing harm, or embarrassment, or making fun of the other person, or trying to put ourselves above them in some way. Whatever thing we do, we honor and reflect Christ's nature – His character. We obey His commands. Things sometimes challenge our ability to be kind – to be gentle. But we really can't compare that to anything that Jesus Christ had to endure.

Let's turn over to 1 Peter 2 – 1 Peter, chapter 2, starting in verse 18.

1 Peter 2:18-22 – Servants, be submissive to your masters with all fear, not only to the good and gentle, but also to the harsh. Now this is specifically written to those who might be a bond servant or slave of masters. I think we all recognize how this can apply to us. I mean, we are free in this country, but we are, in a sense, enslaved to one another, in the fact that we are called to be kind, to be gentle to our fellow man. We could think of that as being under bondage or in slavery, but certainly it is something that is an expectation about us, as Christians. The recognition that we are to be humble and meek – that is a part of our calling. That way we recognize whether the other person is nice or not, we should be kind, we should be gentle. Verse 19 says: For this is commendable, if because of conscience toward God one endures grief, suffering wrongfully. This word commendable, interestingly enough, is from that same Greek word, charis, that we read of earlier. It's the same origin in the word grace. It says when we deal with tough times appropriately, we are being graceful. We are being graceful. That not only speaks to our character, but much more, it speaks to God's character – to the character of Jesus Christ. The ability to be gracious. Continuing in verse 20, it says: For what credit is it if, when you are beaten for your faults, you take it patiently? But when you do good and suffer, if you take it patiently, this is commendable before God. For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps. “Who committed no sin, nor was deceit found in His mouth.” If you have the King James, I believe it says, “no guile found in His mouth” – no bad words, no snappy come backs and put downs.

Christ answered carefully at times, but as we know, there were times, He didn't answer. There were times He was insulted in various ways. Matthew 13:55 – people said, “Who is this joker? He's just some carpenter's son. He's nobody.” It's like those in the political arena who say, “Well, who is this guy? He hasn't had a career in politics,” or what have you. Christ was accused of being an illegitimate child. In John 8:19, it was a personal attack on His character. How often do we see that in politics? How often do we endure that in our daily lives? At the end of it all, though, what was Christ's response? How did He respond? Matthew 27, verse 11, as we begin to draw to a close today.

Matthew 27:11-13 – Now Jesus stood before the governor. And the governor asked Him, saying, “Are You the King of the Jews?” Jesus said to him, “It is as you say.” And while He was being accused by the chief priests and elders, He answered nothing. More and more accusations come out – no doubt about His character, about His illegitimacy, being accused of being a false prophet, of blasphemy. All these things that we know, with the hindsight of history, are not true. He answered nothing. Then Pilate said to Him, “Do You not hear how many things they testify against You?” He said, “Are you not hearing what they're saying about you?” Pilate is saying, “Listen, if they were talking this about me I'd be laying into them left and right.” Certainly we see that today in our world. It says: (v.14) But He – that being Christ – answered him not one word, so that the governor marveled greatly.

Christ endured being beat on the head with a crown of thorns, having it shoved painfully into His scalp. People making fun of Him. His eyes were so bloodied and swollen He couldn't see. People were dancing around and laughing, punching Him, and saying “Okay, You're a prophet? Tell me who just hit You, smart guy.” All these cruel things. He was stripped naked and ridiculed – from an outward appearance, something that we might consider to be very ungraceful. Yet during this time, He endured. He endured rude comments – all sorts of mean and ugly remarks. Christ had the ability to call down a legion of angels and wipe them all off the face of the earth at that point in time. But He didn't say a word. He answered them nothing. Instead He was gracious. He humbly said, and did, nothing. He yielded Himself to God's will.

While the grace of eternal life, the gift of eternal life, is what we received from Christ's death – and that's not our subject. The grace that He showed during His life and during His death, it's the ultimate example of humility, kindness, and gentleness.

This past week we saw the laying to rest a former president. He was the last president to serve this country, he also served his country in the military. And, in the opinion of some, the last president to serve with dignity and with grace. Regardless of how history ultimately judges him and other politicians, regardless of political opinion, we know and understand, as Christians, we should live a graceful life. We should strive to be kinder, to be gentler with our words, our actions. Not return evil for evil – rather, treating others with the kindness, the gentleness, the love, that we would like to receive. We can do this. We can be kinder, gentler versions of ourselves. And we can do this as we march forward on our journey to the Kingdom of God.