Forget About Being Normal Posted on Dec 2, 1999 by David Treybig

“The idealized norm of the modern nuclear family has given way to a multiplicity of family arrangements … The 1950’s model of the White middle-class nuclear family headed by a breadwinner-father and supported by a full-time homemaker-mother is currently found in only eight percent of U.S. households. Dual earning has become the norm for married couples … Through the influence of the women’s movement and sheer economic necessity, nearly 70 percent of mothers of school-age children … are in the workforce. With a divorce rate at 50 percent, over one-third of all children will live, at some point, in a single-parent family. Since the vast majority of divorced individuals go on to remarry, stepfamilies are expected to become the most common family form by the year 2000” (Froma Walsh, Family Business Review, Vol. VII, No. 2, summer 1994, Jossey-Bass Publishers, “Healthy Family Functioning: Conceptual and Research Developments,” p. 176).

The following is from “The National Center for Victims of Crime” and their website “victimsofcrime.org”

Statistics on Perpetrators of Child Sexual Abuse

Offenders are overwhelmingly male, ranging from adolescents to the elderly (page 171).

Some perpetrators are female. It is estimated that women are the abusers in about 14% of cases reported among boys and 6% of cases reported among girls.

Approximately one-third of offenders are themselves juveniles (page 172).

23% of reported cases of child sexual abuse are perpetrated by individuals under the age of 18 (page 3)

Only 14% of children who suffered sexual abuse were violated by an unknown perpetrator (page 172).

60% of children are sexually abused by someone in their social circle. Hence, the phrase “Stranger Danger” is misleading (page 172).

40-80% of juvenile sex offenders have themselves been victims of sexual abuse (Advances in Clinical Child Psychology, page 19).

The National Council on Aging (ncoa.org) says that 1 in 10 adults 60+ years old have experienced some form of elder abuse.  NCOA lists the following as the types of elder abuse:

Elder abuse includes physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, exploitation, neglect, and abandonment. Perpetrators include children, other family members, and spouses—as well as staff at nursing homes, assisted living, and other facilities.

When I researched the current divorce rate in the US online, I found divorce rate statistics from 40% to 53%, depending on the source.

A Google search revealed the following “snippet”:

Certain studies have shown that daughters of divorced parents have a 60 percent higher divorce rate in marriages than children of non-divorced parents while sons have a 35 percent higher rate.

[Dysfunctional family and country]

Gen 12:1  - Now the LORD had said to Abram: "Get out of your country, From your family And from your father's house, To a land that I will show you.

We know that after Abram arrives in Canaan (v.5), and that the LORD appears to Abram tells him that He will give this land to Abram’s descendants (v.7).

Abram was told to leave his country, his family and his father’s house and go to a foreign land.  As far as I can tell from the bible, Abram left His country, his home, family and friends without yet knowing the LORD’s promise to give the land of Canaan to Abram’s descendants.  At first (v.1) the LORD tells Abram he will “show” him the land.  It doesn’t say anything about the LORD promising to give this land to Abram’s descendants yet.  Then, after Abram arrives in Canaan the LORD tells him that He will give this land to Abram’s descendants (v.7).

Like Abram, you and I were called (John 6:44).  We were called out of this world.

Remember when God called you out of this world?  How exciting it was to learn the truth about who God is, and about His glorious plan of salvation for you and all of mankind!  You probably also remember some painful separations from your family and friends that thought you lost your mind!  [My story about when God called me, and how my friend turned on me].

Perhaps Abram had family members and friends that scorned him, and thought him a fool for leaving his country and going to a strange land because some mysterious “LORD” had told him too.  His wife Sarai went with him, and of course his nephew Lot went with him as well.

We all know the story of how God changed Abram’s name to Abraham and Sarai to Sarah, and all the ups and downs in their lives.  We also know of the incredible promises the LORD made to Abraham, and that Abraham proved he believed God to the point of placing his own beloved son on the altar as a sacrifice to God.

But how often have we really considered what Abram did when he left his country, Ur of the Chaldeans, and set out for the strange land of Canaan?  He left his family and country behind.  Haven’t we not done the same?

We have something so precious, so priceless, and it is something that Abraham did not have when he left everything familiar and arrived in that foreign land, the land of Canaan.  Do you know what it is?  Or perhaps I mislead you. Do you know “whom” it is?  Of course we both have the LORD to turn to, to pray to.  He is our protector and guide, and He is our all.  Abram had that too.  But whom do we have that is so precious, so priceless, that Abram did not?

 (Mat 12:46-50) While He was still talking to the multitudes, behold, His mother and brothers stood outside, seeking to speak with Him. (Mat 12:47) Then one said to Him, "Look, Your mother and Your brothers are standing outside, seeking to speak with You." (Mat 12:48) But He answered and said to the one who told Him, "Who is My mother and who are My brothers?" (Mat 12:49) And He stretched out His hand toward His disciples and said, "Here are My mother and My brothers! (Mat 12:50) For whoever does the will of My Father in heaven is My brother and sister and mother."

Did Jesus actually disown His mother and brothers that were standing outside?  Of course not!  He was talking about His church family, He was talking about “whoever does the will of My Father in heaven,” and that they are His brother and sister and mother.”  Jesus is talking to the multitudes, and in the process teaching His disciples.  Jesus never sinned, and He honored His parents always.  But He made it clear that our heavenly Father’s business and teaching His disciples took precedence.  (Luke 2:49)  For example, let’s say I am up here preaching God’s word and Mr. Kruise or Mr. Janes hear someone knocking on the door in the back.  Then either Mr. Kruise or Mr. Janes comes up and whispers into my ear in the middle of the sermon that my sister is outside and wants me to come to the door.  No one has indicated a life threatening emergency, which is not indicated in Matthew 12:46-50.  I should remember what Jesus said, “Here are my brother and sister and mother.”  “My brother sister and mother” is my sermon title.

SPS: Be thankful for your church family.

That’s right, we have a new family.  Abram did not have a local church to go to when he left Ur and went to Canaan.  There were no congregations, no brethren waiting for him when he arrived in Canaan to greet him and welcome him every seventh day of the week, every annual holy day, and days in between.

You and I became part of a new family when we left our worldly family and friends.  We may still be close to our physical family and friends, but we left their belief system behind, and believed in the LORD, and His promise of salvation.  We repented, and were baptized, and received God’s Holy Spirit and believe in the same fundamental doctrines inspired by the breath of God and written down for us in Holy Scripture.

When we explain God’s word to people, their eyes glaze over, and they find an excuse for something else to talk about, or just get plain insulting and think we’re crazy not to believe in the “scientific” theory of evolution.  Be thankful for your church family.

Throughout my life, I’ve seen a lack of appreciation in myself and others, perhaps a lack of understanding of how priceless, how precious our church family is.

Do you remember what Christ said?  Do you remember what He taught about family?

SEGWAY

As a church family we should be doing the will of our Father in heaven, and being the kind of family God intends us to be.  We left the world behind, and left family and friends behind.  We don’t keep Easter, Christmas, Halloween, Sunday church, Saint Valentine’s Day, we don’t eat pork, we don’t work on the Sabbath, we don’t etc.., etc.., etc..

All these things are good, but does observing all the “don’ts” make us a healthy church family?  Not by a long shot.  That is part of what God wants, but God also wants us to DO. 

Do you feel alone sometimes at church?  There are brethren all around you, but does it really feel like you’re with church family, the family that is the body of Christ?  The chosen ones, the called out ones and people who are becoming new creatures in Christ?  I sure hope so…BE THANKFUL FOR YOUR CHURCH FAMILY.

How do we show we are thankful for our church family?

 

As you know, we continue to have trials in life after God calls us, but you know what?  In addition, to our Holy Father, and Jesus Christ our savior, we have our church family – our brother and sister and mother.  I know that I have not been thankful enough for my church family.  Be thankful for your church family.  I’m going to try to do a better job at being thankful for all of you, and I hope that we are all thankful for one another.

 

First rule to show that you’re thankful for your church family – love God and love one another.  You can’t have one without the other (is that a song lyric?).

(Rom 13:8)

Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law.

How much love did God show us?  We will always be in His debt for the great love our Father showed us, and His Son when He gave His very life for us.  We owe God our love for Him, for His Son, and for one another.

(1Th 4:9)

But concerning brotherly love you have no need that I should write to you, for you yourselves are taught by God to love one another;

(1Pe 1:22)

Since you have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit in sincere love of the brethren, love one another fervently with a pure heart,

We need to love one another with more than lip service.  I am talking about so much more than a quick prayer thanking God for our church family, which is something we should do.  We most certainly show love for one another when we pray for one another in sincere love and fervently with a pure heart. 

(Jas 2:8)

If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, "YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF," you do well;

Each one of us is the other’s “neighbor.”  We are each the brothers, sister or mother of the other are we not?  Isn’t that what Christ said (Matthew 12:50)?

We know we are supposed to obey God and keep the Royal Law, but how often do we practice it, and apply it in our interactions with our church family; our brother, our sister, our mother in Christ?  Look at the history of the church over the last several decades. All too often it is a history that shows many have forgotten the Royal Law, and have not been thankful for their church family. The Royal Law shows us how to be thankful for our church family, for our brother and sister and mother that do the will of God.

James goes further to explain that we should not show partiality in the first two verses (James 2:1-2); showing a false love to a rich brother, sister or mother – but rather we are to show love to our brethren, poor or rich.  Show one another love, and “Be thankful for your church brethren.”

(Gal 5:13)

For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.

Second rule to show that you’re thankful for your church family – bear with and forgive one another.

(Col 3:12)

Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; (Col 3:13) bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.

 

We have to put off or get rid of old behaviors and put on the behaviors Christ expects of us.

 

Put off…

(Col 3:8)

But now you yourselves are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth. (Col 3:9) Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old man with his deeds,

 

Put on…

 

(Col 3:10) and have put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created him,(Col 3:11) where there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcised nor uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave nor free, but Christ is all and in all. (Col 3:12) Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; (Col 3:13) bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.

 

[Un-forgiveness, or not forgiving – destroys and divides families, and pits them one against the other.]

 

(Mat 12:25)

But Jesus knew their thoughts, and said to them: "Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation, and every city or house divided against itself will not stand.

 

 

Barnes’ Notes - Their [the Pharisees] subtle and cunning device was completely foiled, and Jesus made their argument recoil on their own heads. A kingdom or a family can prosper only by living in harmony. The different parts and members must unite in promoting the same objects. If divided - if one part undoes what the other does - it must fall.

 

Show your thankful for your church family by bearing with and forgiving one another.  Live in harmony and prosper as a church family!

 

Third Rule to show that you’re thankful for your church family – comfort each other and edify one another.

 

(1Th 5:11)

Therefore comfort (encourage) each other and edify (build up) one another, just as you also are doing. (1Th 5:12) And we urge you, brethren, to recognize those who labor among you, and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, (1Th 5:13) and to esteem them very highly in love for their work's sake. Be at peace among yourselves. (1Th 5:14) Now we exhort (call for, beseech) you, brethren, warn those who are unruly, comfort the fainthearted, uphold the weak, be patient with all. (1Th 5:15) See that no one renders evil for evil to anyone, but always pursue what is good both for yourselves and for all. (1Th 5:16) Rejoice always, (1Th 5:17) pray without ceasing, (1Th 5:18) in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

 

There is something that will prevent us from comforting each other and edifying one another.  There is something that tears down and discourages rather than encourages and edifies. 

 

(2Ti 2:23)

But avoid foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing that they generate strife.

 

 

(Tit 3:9)

But avoid foolish disputes, genealogies, contentions, and strivings about the law; for they are unprofitable and useless.

 

Conclusion

 

(Col 3:14) But above all these things put on love, which is the bond (joint tie, ligament) of perfection. (Col 3:15) And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. (Col 3:16) Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.

 

My brother and sister and mother, a house divided against itself cannot stand.  A family divided against itself cannot stand.

 

Love God and love one another. Bear with and forgive one another. Comfort each other and edify one another.  Do these things and be thankful for your church family.