It was the first time neither of our daughters was present for Mother’s Day. We had just moved to Texas, but our daughters remained in California. We now were left to reconnect in our roles as husband and wife and not primarily as dad and mom.
With graduation from high school, your son or daughter may plan to go to college or move away from home to take a job in another city. Your children may get married and start new families. Perhaps they were the youngest and now your home (nest) is “empty.” A new set of challenges now begins.
When we were actively parenting our children, we often referred to each other as “Dad” or “Mom.” We put our marital relationship somewhat on the back burner. We didn’t neglect it, but merely subjugated it to what seemed to be the more important task of rearing our children. If that back burner is never turned on, however, couples may drift into being neglectful of their roles as spouses.
After the nest is empty, it is imperative that husbands and wives find ways to reconnect. Pray about your new situation. Ask God to help you both rekindle the love flames that you had for each other before children entered the picture. Plan fun things to do together. Go dancing, go for walks or take up bowling. Get together with friends for card games. Go out for dinner or coffee occasionally, and just talk and spend time together.
There is a scripture that begs us to remember how we loved each other at the beginning of our marriage. It goes like this: “Rejoice with the wife of your youth” (Proverbs 5:18 Proverbs 5:18Let your fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of your youth.
American King James Version×). There are a few other scriptures that use this phrase as well. To me, this is cautioning us to remember how much we wanted to be with our spouses in the beginning of our relationships—how nothing was too much to do for that loved one.
So, while we see our homes emptying of our children because of college, jobs or marriage, remember to strengthen your relationship with your spouse by remembering the early years of your marriage and reigniting the togetherness, fun and love that you once had! UN