"Sometimes You Have to Break the Rules"?

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"Sometimes You Have to Break the Rules"?

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In the United States most teens have seen the television commercial for a popular hamburger chain that uses the phrase "Sometimes you have to break the rules." Since most restaurants are willing to prepare food according to personal preference, this advertising phrase wasn't really applicable to specific rules about how one could order a hamburger. There simply is no rule that says hamburgers must always include cheese, pickles, onions, mustard, ketchup, tomatoes, and lettuce. As the chain's accompanying jingle says, "Have it your way."

The marketing phrase "Sometimes you have to break the rules" was used for a reason other than ordering hamburgers. It was used to appeal to a basic trait of human nature—the desire to resist rules and authority. The logic behind the phrase was to identify with this common human tendency and thereby create good will toward the company. And if there are good feelings toward the company, there is the increased likelihood that more hamburgers will be sold.

Hamburgers aside, consider the implications of this phrase. It appeals to what some might term our "wild" side—the part of us that likes to do as we please, when we desire, without regard to what others may think. But is breaking rules really in our best interest? Is wrong ever right? Should young people be encouraged to decide for themselves which rules they want to follow?

Rugged, unrestrained individualism, often described as freedom to be what you want to be, is considered an integral part of our basic human rights and is highly prized in western society. The United States, called a melting-pot of peoples and customs, is especially noted as a land of opportunity because it allows and promotes such diversity. While freedom of religion is a wonderful privilege in such an environment and economic opportunities abound, consider the social consequences of this approach that says there are no moral absolutes—that everyone should decide for himself or herself what is good or bad.

Dating and Marriage Rules

Marriages and the individuals involved in them have suffered greatly because of "sometimes you have to break the rules" thinking. Rejecting biblical rules and standards, many people today simply do whatever they want to do when it comes to dating and marriage. If they want to have sex before marriage, they do so saying it's their life and their decision and everyone else should stay out of their business. Many naively assume premarital sex doesn't hurt anyone. But contrary to popular thinking, it does. In addition to furthering the spread of sexual disease, premarital sex diminishes the prospect of having a lasting marriage. If the two people involved don't marry, future mates are also affected and perhaps, infected.

Once married, breaking the rules or vows of marriage is also detrimental to the marriage. When one or both mates reject God's commandment to avoid sexual relations with others, it is unlikely their union will last. Both are robbed of one of life's greatest pleasures—a deeply committed relationship to one special individual for life. While breaking sexual rules is pleasurable at the moment, the natural and unavoidable penalties of heartbreak, sorrow, and discouragement inevitably take their toll. Breaking marital rules exacts a tragic penalty.

Cheating on schoolwork

As young people decide for themselves what values they wish to make part of their lives, cheating at high schools and higher institutions of learning has become more common. Some justify doing so on the grounds that everyone else is doing it. While it may be tempting to copy someone else's work in order to save time or effort, deciding to break this rule has gotten some kicked out of school. Furthermore, cheating diminishes proper self-esteem that comes through personal accomplishment.

In case after case and situation after situation, breaking rules involves penalties. Whether engaging in premarital sex or extramarital sex, lying, being a dishonest business person, cheating on one's taxes, or breaking traffic laws, people risk reputations and their future opportunities when they choose to ignore standards and values. The same is true regarding God's rules that He gives us human beings on how to live.

So why are people constantly looking for loopholes and exceptions to rules and guidelines? Why do so many fall back on "I know a person who broke this or that rule and they turned out okay" to justify their own inappropriate behavior? It all has to do with the way God designed us. For a biblical explanation of how people can recover from mistakes, see the section titled When can bad turn out good? at the end of this article.

The way we are made

The Bible, the safest place we can turn to for timeless truths, explains that we humans have minds that tend to naturally focus on the ways that are opposite of God's laws, which yield long-term happiness and satisfaction. Jeremiah 17:9 says, "The heart [mind] is deceitful above all things, And desperately wicked..." Romans 8:7 adds that "the carnal [natural] mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be."

Adam and Eve, the first humans on this planet, originated the human proclivity to decide for ourselves which rules to obey. God had told them not to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. But they chose to decide for themselves whether to eat of that tree or not. Noting that the fruit looked good, Eve decided to ignore God's instruction. After she ate fruit from the tree, she invited Adam to do the same and Adam followed her example.

As a result of their sin, Adam and Eve paid a stiff penalty. They were banished from the garden and denied access to the tree of life that represented immortality (Genesis 3). Since that time, most humans have followed their example of self-determination, choosing for themselves which of God's rules they will follow and which they will break.

The best choice

Given the way we are made and our society's tendency to promote breaking rules, what should a young person do? Again, the Bible supplies the best answer. The book of Proverbs was specifically written to provide "the young man [or woman] knowledge and discretion [the ability to properly apply knowledge]" (Proverbs 1:4). It also explains that "The fear [respect] of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction" (verse 7).

This book of the Bible, specifically designed for young people, reveals moral absolutes—ways of life with guaranteed results. It is filled with practical advice on how to live life in a way that yields happiness now, and a reward later. If you want to live such a life, read through the book of Proverbs and request a free booklet published by the United Church of God titled Making Life Work. This booklet covers dating, marriage, and many other issues young people will face from a godly perspective.

Free moral agency, our opportunity to choose how we will live, is part of being human. God did not create us as robots so we would all make the exact same choices. But in conjunction with our freedom to choose, God advises us to choose His way of life, meaning obey the rules He established for us that would lead to peace, happiness, and eventually eternal life.

The latter portion of the book of Proverbs contains some timely advice for the temptation to break the rules. "Do not let your heart envy sinners, but be zealous for the fear of the LORD all the day; For surely there is a hereafter, and your hope will not be cut off" (Proverbs 23:17-18). Be mentally on guard when someone invites you to break the rules.

When Can Bad Turn out Good?

The observation that some people do bad things and still turn out okay is a biblical concept. God, through the pages of the Bible, reveals that people can change from bad to good if they truly desire. Just because someone makes a mistake or does something wrong, that doesn't mean he or she can't change. In fact, the scriptures abound with admonitions to repent—that is, change for the better (Ezekiel 14:6, Luke 13:3, Acts 3:19, Acts 17:30).

The reason this advice is given so often throughout the Bible is because all human beings sin—meaning they make mistakes (Romans 3:23). God wants all of us to turn from our mistakes and poor choices. If we admit our faults and turn from them, God promises to forgive our sins (1 John 1:9).

Although God forgives our sins when we repent of them, He doesn't always take away the penalties that may accompany them. For example, if someone steals something and is convicted of theft, he or she may repent of that sin and God will forgive them. But this person may still have to make restitution of the items stolen, pay a fine, or even serve time in jail for his or her crime. Another example would be if someone engages in premarital or extramarital sex and contracts a sexually transmitted disease. This person may repent of his or her sin and be forgiven by God, but still have the disease.

Regardless of what sin is committed, everyone who repents of his or her sins can enter the coming Kingdom of God. This is the truly good news of how bad can turn to good. But this scenario should never be used to justify doing evil at the moment. God never intended that His merciful nature be abused so people could do whatever they desired as long as they later repent. People who continually and willfully break God's rules may eventually find they have no desire to change their inappropriate behavior. We become what we do. To avoid potentially lingering penalties and in order to have happier lives now, it is best not to break any of God's rules. YU