To Narc or Not to Narc?

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To Narc or Not to Narc?

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The stories have become eerily routine. The names, dates and locations change, but the same sad tale remains. Another school shooting is reported. One or two young people (guys or girls) bring a gun or guns to school and shoot everyone in sight. Classmates die, teachers die and another community begins the arduous task of grieving, healing and restoring confidence through improved safety precautions.

 In the aftermath of youth violence, parents and teachers try to figure out what led to the tragedy. A common discovery is that some person or persons heard the perpetrators brag about the crime before the event, yet somehow this important, potentially life-saving information was never reported to the authorities who could have prevented it. "Why didn't someone stop this terrible incident from happening?" is the common question.

The reasons people don't pass along sensitive information vary. In Western societies like the United States, individual rights and freedoms are especially prized and protected. No one likes to meddle in other people's affairs without cause and no one should seek to get others in trouble unnecessarily. The sayings are common. "Don't be a tattletale." "Don't rat on your friends." "Don't narc."

The Bible strongly supports such reasoning. God Himself says, "'You shall not go about as a talebearer among your people; nor shall you take a stand against the life of your neighbor: I am the Lord'" (Leviticus 19:16). Furthermore, Proverbs 11:13 explains, "A talebearer reveals secrets, but he who is of a faithful spirit conceals a matter." Those who through fertile imaginations pass along suppositions about others or improper information are gossips—an action likewise condemned in Scripture (Proverbs 20:19, 26:20).

Given these well-founded cautions against sticking our noses in other people's business, is it ever appropriate to pass along information? What if that information could save others' lives? How can we know when to speak up and when to shut up?

Social responsibility

From humanity's early beginnings, we learn that God expects us to respect individual rights and community rights. When God asked Cain about his brother, Abel, whom he had killed, Cain tried to redirect the conversation by asking, "Am I my brother's keeper?" (Genesis 4:9). Cain, obviously, did not think he was. Other scriptures show that God disagrees with such reasoning. In commanding us to "love your neighbor as yourself" (Leviticus 19:18), God teaches us that we must respect others, too. Those to be respected include individuals and the community at large.

When we have knowledge of someone's intent to harm others, God expects us to protect those people if we can. In ancient Israel, if a person knew someone was out to deceive others religiously, God expected the person with knowledge to report what he or she knew. He or she was not to conceal or suppress that information (Deuteronomy 13:5-9). Similarly, parents were expected to let authorities know when they had a child who would not respect parental or societal standards (Deuteronomy 21:18-21). Such action showed love for the rest of the community and protected it from additional crimes. Given the Bible's instructions against butting into people's private lives and its teaching to protect our communities, we must have wisdom to discern when to divulge information. James 1:5 says, "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him."

In addition to prayer, a good way to decide whether to report a matter is to consider the future effect of what you heard was going to happen. If no one is going to be harmed, it may be appropriate to keep quiet. If someone's health or safety is at risk, it is probably best to say something. Issues that always call for our involvement include talk of suicide, physical threats against others, depression, crime and drugs. The consequences of ignoring these matters is simply too great to risk. One can always apologize later, if need be, for passing along information that did not need to be shared. If someone dies or is physically maimed for life, what good is an apology then for keeping quiet?

How to report sensitive information

 

If you learn of information that may lead to a tragedy, how should you go about reporting this information to an authority figure? Generally, the first place to start is with your parents. Mom and Dad can often give appropriate advice and direction on how to proceed. Other trusted authority figures, such as teachers, school counselors and ministers, can also provide guidance.

If you aren't sure whether to report an issue, you can always go to your selected advisor and give the scenario without the name or names of the people involved. If it isn't necessary to report the matter, the counselor can say so. On the other hand, if the name or names are needed, the authority figure can often help you understand why it is appropriate to divulge that information.

Courage

Doing what is right takes courage. While no one enjoys being in the difficult position of having to report a problem, those who face these challenges and learn to handle them properly are preparing for greater leadership in the future. Learning to genuinely love our neighbors as ourselves is a skill our society desperately needs. God is looking for people who will stand in the breach, stem the tide and be models of proper conduct (Isaiah 58:12).

If all of this sounds daunting and you aren't sure you can do what you should, remember the encouraging advice God gave Joshua many years ago when he had to take over the leadership of Israel. On this occasion, God told Joshua, "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go" (Joshua 1:9). God will be with each of us, too, if we ask. Resolve now to share critical information with the appropriate authorities when necessary. The lives you protect may include your own. YU