Three Traits to Avoid when Looking for a Husband

Monday, June 24, 2013 (All day)

When my daughters were teens I told them to be particularly aware of three traits in a boy because these traits influence what kind of man he would become.

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[Gary Petty] When my two daughters were teenagers I gave them the fatherly talk about what to be aware of in boys. But I told them that there were three traits to particularly look at when they were looking at a boy because many times they would determine what kind of man he would become. And these traits were all taken from the book of Proverbs.

I told them first of all look at how does he treat his parents? Any boy that was mean to his parents, who mistreated his parents, who was overtly disobedient and angry towards his parents was a bad sign. The book of Proverbs says, "He who mistreats his father and chases away his mother is the son who causes shame and reproach."

I told them the second thing to look for is how does he treat animals? You know if a boy kicks animals, and he's cruel to animals, if he has a pet, and he doesn't take care of that pet it shows something about the inner makeup of that boy. The book of Proverbs says, "The righteous man regards the life of his animals, but the tender mercies of the wicked are cruel."

The third thing I told them to look at was how does he treat people who he sees as weaker than he is? You know, if you see a boy who's always picking on weaker boys, who's a bully, who sees that, "You're weaker than me so I can mistreat you and hold you down," that's a bad sign.

As it says in Proverbs, "He who oppresses the poor reproaches his Maker, but he who honors Him has mercy on the needy." You know these principles apply no matter what age you are.

If you're looking for a husband, look at those things no matter how attractive he is, no matter how much money he has, no matter how it looks like he's a fun guy. If he mistreats his parents and he's not kind and loving towards his parents, if he mistreats animals and he bullies people who he sees as weaker, avoid that man because that's exactly how he's going to treat you and your children.

That's BT Daily . Join us next time.


KARS's picture

High 5 Mr. Petty!
We know them by their fruits; be it male or female.
Remember that the outward appearance can be deceiving.

"But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the LORD does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." 1 Sam:16:7 NKJV


wqmarr's picture

Romans:2:11 tells us that God is no respecter of persons. What is said here in this video is very true. But understand it goes both ways. Not all men are supermen and there are some women who will mistreat and take advantage of them as well. God gave instruction to both Adam and Eve. They both know about the two trees, what to do and not do. God provided us His instructions (the Bible) so we would know what to do and not do. The choice is ours to follow God's instructions at how to live together as humans and as husband and wife.

Remember we are to be His bride. Have we learned how to treat each other being the same as God will treat us and we God?

Jim Buckmaster

Jim Buckmaster's picture

I had not seen specific scriptures put to those traits before. Well done! I gave my daughters a similar talk and in addition told them to observe how he treats disabled individuals. Does he take the time to talk to them and treat them respectfully? Does he treat them like "real people" instead of like something to be avoided?

"As the twig is bent so grows the tree." So many problems within marriage can be avoided by paying attention to the little cues that you told your daughters.

My advice to young men includes similar instructions and to look beyond the "wrapping" of the package and determine the character of the girl.

Never was I so glad that I married a lady of character as when I was recently near death from cancer. For over 2 months she never left my side 24/7. I could awake at any hour of the day or night and look over to the chair beside the bed to see her sitting there in case I needed the slightest little thing. God blessed me with a truly virtuous woman.

Derek Strauss

Derek Strauss's picture

I would emphasize in particular - how does he treat his Mother? And for a girl, does she have a good relationship with her Father? These relationships are so important and can really be the major influencers of how good a spouse one becomes one day. Thanks for discussing a great topic!


brownjn's picture

This was a very good article for our girls. Would you consider writing one for our sons?

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