[Darris McNeely] Yesterday's daily we talked about three keys to keep from going off your own personal fiscal cliff. The concept of a cliff is in the news. We're talking about it fiscally. But you know it applies to a lot of other areas of our life. We can be going along pretty smoothly in life, and then all of a sudden drop off cliffs in many different directions onto rocks, shoals, and problems. Today we want to talk about three keys to keep your marriage from going off a cliff.

[Steve Myers] You don't want to go off the cliff and have your marriage down here on the rocks.

[Darris McNeely] On the rocks.

[Steve Myers] And that's got to be at the forefront of our minds if we're going to build our relationship. A couple of things that are very important to start with - number one, you've got to have a commitment to one another. You know, why did you marry each other to begin with? When you started, you had a commitment. You said you were going to love one another not just for the first year or two, but forever - until death do us part. And so have that commitment. Have that type of dedication to each other. That will begin to help you have the big picture so that even if you come close to the edge of that cliff, this commitment to each other is going to keep you together.

[Darris McNeely] Remember that you set some pretty serious matters before God and before witnesses at the time of your marriage. And that type of relationship that is the ideal that we all enter into at that point doesn't happen without some work and without some problems and difficulties. And at times in a marriage you might get up to the cliff, but you don't have to go over. You can pull yourself back. Commitment, pushing through, staying with it is a very important key.

[Steve Myers] Yeah, commitment is a big thing, even when it's tough. Now, you also agreed to, when you were married, to cherish each other. Remember those words - to love and to cherish? We need to have that kind of concern for each other no matter what. Remember that commitment that you made to really care about each other, to really treat the other one as you would want to be treated. That is so important in a marriage, and it can help us to really get the big picture of what a marriage is really all about.

[Darris McNeely] Your husband, your wife is the most important, and deepest, and closest relationship in your whole life and it should be. If you have the opportunity of marrying your best friend, you know what I'm talking about. And work at that concept of cherishing, putting them first, putting their needs, their lives, their hopes, their dreams first even at times before yours. It's an important key to longevity.

[Steve Myers] That means you've got to know what those hopes and those dreams are, which means that third thing is to communicate. You marry your best friend. Your wife, your husband should be your best friend. And so in order to know what their needs are, you've got to communicate with them. That means communicate the good as well as the difficult things so that you can grow and take care of those things and really express that commitment, express that love. And you can do it through the right kind of communication.

[Darris McNeely] Experts who counsel people in marriages over the years have always put communication as probably one of the biggest challenges to any successful marriage. When there are problems, usually communication and the lack of it is at the heart of those problems. There are other matters, but this will overcome a great deal. And we have to be able to share our lives, our thoughts, and communicate what is on our mind with those we love.

[Steve Myers] But these three thoughts are epitomized in a part of the book of Ephesians where the Apostle Paul gives instructions for husbands, wives, and families as well. In Ephesians chapter 5 he sums it up in the word love. You have love in all of these: commitment, love and cherishing one another, love in communicating with one another. And he says this to husbands specifically in verse 25, "Husbands, love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her" (Ephesians 5:25). And so that's the kind of attitude we've got to be giving to each other. We've got to be concerned about each other so we're willing to do unto others as we'd have them do unto us because ultimately he says we're to nourish and cherish each other just like Christ cherishes the church. That's expressed down in verse 29 (Ephesians 5:29). And so if we don't find that in our marriage, if we find we're up against the cliff, don't go to the rocks. It won't be better. It won't be better. Go back to these things and begin to put them into practice. I'll bet you see an amazing difference in your relationship.

[Darris McNeely] That's BT Daily. Join us next time.