Building A Better Relationship With God

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Here are five tools that can help us build a stronger, closer friendship with God.

1. Prayer: God Wants to Hear From You!

If you were given the opportunity to talk with the U.S. president or the queen of England, what would you say? You would probably be a bit nervous, and would think a lot about what you should talk about. But One far more powerful and important than the president or queen wants you to talk to Him! And He doesn't want you to be nervous, but to share what's on your mind and to pour out your heart to Him.

God loves us so much and understands what we are going through. That's why we can "come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need" (Hebrews 4:16Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.
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How should we pray? Christ's disciples wondered the same thing, and asked Him to teach them (read it in Luke 11:1-4 [1] And it came to pass, that, as he was praying in a certain place, when he ceased, one of his disciples said unto him, Lord, teach us to pray, as John also taught his disciples.
[2] And he said unto them, When ye pray, say, Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, as in heaven, so in earth.
[3] Give us day by day our daily bread.
[4] And forgive us our sins; for we also forgive every one that is indebted to us. And lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from evil.

See All... and Matthew 6:5-13 [5] And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
[6] But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.
[7] But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.
[8] Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.
[9] After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.
[10] Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.
[11] Give us this day our daily bread.
[12] And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
[13] And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.

See All...). He told them prayer wasn't for show, and it wasn't about saying the same thing over and over again. But He did give us a framework of the types of things to pray about:

• Praising and thanking God.

• Praying for God's Kingdom to come, and for His will and work to be done today.

• Requesting that our needs and the needs of others be met, whether healing, food, wisdom or protection.

• Seeking forgiveness and the help to forgive others.

• Asking for protection from temptation and the evil tempter.

In addition to getting on our knees in private (King David did so at "evening and morning and at noon"—Psalm 55:17Evening, and morning, and at noon, will I pray, and cry aloud: and he shall hear my voice.
See All...), we can talk to God in our minds throughout the day (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 [16] Rejoice evermore.
[17] Pray without ceasing.
[18] In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.

See All...). Read David's Psalms and other heartfelt prayers of the Bible to see more about how this spiritual tool can help you draw closer to our Creator. 

2. Meditation: How Do I Apply This Today?

When we've prayed for understanding and then carefully read the Bible, a natural next step is to think about what we've read and how it relates to the situations in our life. That's what biblical meditation is all about.

It's not about emptying our minds or relaxation techniques or mystical experiences at all. It's "directed thinking, reflection, contemplation or concentration" and it helps make prayer and Bible study "meaningful instead of mechanical, inspiring rather than superficial".

Some meditations are recorded for us in the Psalms. The psalmist said meditation helped make him wiser than his enemies and led him to restrain his feet "from every evil way" (Psalm 119:97-104 [97] (MEM.) O how love I thy law! it is my meditation all the day.
[98] Thou through thy commandments hast made me wiser than mine enemies: for they are ever with me.
[99] I have more understanding than all my teachers: for thy testimonies are my meditation.
[100] I understand more than the ancients, because I keep thy precepts.
[101] I have refrained my feet from every evil way, that I might keep thy word.
[102] I have not departed from thy judgments: for thou hast taught me.
[103] How sweet are thy words unto my taste! yea, sweeter than honey to my mouth!
[104] Through thy precepts I get understanding: therefore I hate every false way.

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Meditation helps us know where we are going—"ponder the path of your feet," as Solomon put it (Proverbs 4:26Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established.
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Some passages worth pondering: 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 [3] For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh:
[4] (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;)
[5] Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;

See All...; Philippians 4:8; Colossians 3:1-2 [1] If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God.
[2] Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.

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God told Joshua to meditate on the Book of the Law "day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it" (Joshua 1:8This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success.
See All...). Once again, the key is doing!

3. Fasting: A Serious Power Tool

The Bible has many examples of people of God who voluntarily went without food and drink for a time to humble themselves and draw close to God (Ezra 8:23So we fasted and besought our God for this: and he was intreated of us.
See All...; Esther 4:16Go, gather together all the Jews that are present in Shushan, and fast ye for me, and neither eat nor drink three days, night or day: I also and my maidens will fast likewise; and so will I go in unto the king, which is not according to the law: and if I perish, I perish.
See All...; Psalm 35:13But as for me, when they were sick, my clothing was sackcloth: I humbled my soul with fasting; and my prayer returned into mine own bosom.
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Christ said His disciples would fast and explained that particularly vexing situations can sometimes only be dealt with by prayer and fasting (Matthew 9:15And Jesus said unto them, Can the children of the bridechamber mourn, as long as the bridegroom is with them? but the days will come, when the bridegroom shall be taken from them, and then shall they fast.
See All...; 17:21). In that way, fasting can be looked on as a power tool for building our relationship with God.

But there are some things to understand first. Biblical fasting is not for show (Matthew 6:16-18 [16] Moreover when ye fast, be not, as the hypocrites, of a sad countenance: for they disfigure their faces, that they may appear unto men to fast. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
[17] But thou, when thou fastest, anoint thine head, and wash thy face;
[18] That thou appear not unto men to fast, but unto thy Father which is in secret: and thy Father, which seeth in secret, shall reward thee openly.

See All...). It's not to be undertaken lightly if your doctor or parents (if you're under 18) object. It's not to try to get something from others or to try to force God to do what we want (Isaiah 58:3-4 [3] Wherefore have we fasted, say they, and thou seest not? wherefore have we afflicted our soul, and thou takest no knowledge? Behold, in the day of your fast ye find pleasure, and exact all your labours.
[4] Behold, ye fast for strife and debate, and to smite with the fist of wickedness: ye shall not fast as ye do this day, to make your voice to be heard on high.

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Fasting should first and foremost be about personally drawing near to God (James 4:7-10 [7] Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
[8] Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.
[9] Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness.
[10] Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.

See All...; 1 Peter 5:6-7 [6] Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:
[7] Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.

See All...). It should also be about compassion and sharing with others (Isaiah 58:6-7 [6] Is not this the fast that I have chosen? to loose the bands of wickedness, to undo the heavy burdens, and to let the oppressed go free, and that ye break every yoke?
[7] Is it not to deal thy bread to the hungry, and that thou bring the poor that are cast out to thy house? when thou seest the naked, that thou cover him; and that thou hide not thyself from thine own flesh?

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Since the Creator God is the source of all power, drawing closer to Him and casting our cares and worries on Him will give us the spiritual strength we need, even while feeling physically weak.

4. Bible Study: Listening to God

A person who does all the talking and never listens ends up with a very one-sided friendship—or no friendship at all. So besides talking to God, we need to hear what He has to say.

Most of us are blessed today to have a copy of the Bible right in our own home. Can you imagine just hearing the Bible read once a week and trying to remember it through the week? People through history memorized major parts of this most important of books. God even told each king of Israel to write out a copy of the Book of the Law—found in the first section of the Bible—and to "read it all the days of his life" (Deuteronomy 17:18-19 [18] And it shall be, when he sitteth upon the throne of his kingdom, that he shall write him a copy of this law in a book out of that which is before the priests the Levites:
[19] And it shall be with him, and he shall read therein all the days of his life: that he may learn to fear the LORD his God, to keep all the words of this law and these statutes, to do them:

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Why do we read the Bible? It is as necessary for our spiritual life as food is physically (Matthew 4:4But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.
See All...). Both the Old and New Testaments show us how God thinks and how we can become like Him (take a few minutes and look up Psalm 119:105(NUN.) Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.
See All...; Luke 24:44-45 [44] And he said unto them, These are the words which I spake unto you, while I was yet with you, that all things must be fulfilled, which were written in the law of Moses, and in the prophets, and in the psalms, concerning me.
[45] Then opened he their understanding, that they might understand the scriptures,

See All...; 1 Corinthians 10:11Now all these things happened unto them for ensamples: and they are written for our admonition, upon whom the ends of the world are come.
See All...; 2 Timothy 3:15-17 [15] And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.
[16] All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
[17] That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works.

See All...; and 2 Peter 3:15-18 [15] And account that the longsuffering of our Lord is salvation; even as our beloved brother Paul also according to the wisdom given unto him hath written unto you;
[16] As also in all his epistles, speaking in them of these things; in which are some things hard to be understood, which they that are unlearned and unstable wrest, as they do also the other scriptures, unto their own destruction.
[17] Ye therefore, beloved, seeing ye know these things before, beware lest ye also, being led away with the error of the wicked, fall from your own stedfastness.
[18] But grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and for ever. Amen.

See All...). We can pray that God will open our understanding and help us grow and be "doers of the word," because just reading is not enough (James 1:21-25 [21] Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls.
[22] But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.
[23] For if any be a hearer of the word, and not a doer, he is like unto a man beholding his natural face in a glass:
[24] For he beholdeth himself, and goeth his way, and straightway forgetteth what manner of man he was.
[25] But whoso looketh into the perfect law of liberty, and continueth therein, he being not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work, this man shall be blessed in his deed.

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5. Fellowship: Friendship With God and His People

It's a dangerous world out there, and sometimes it's just good to know someone has "got your back"—is watching out for you. God put His people in His Church to support, encourage and learn from each other (1 Corinthians 12:25-26 [25] That there should be no schism in the body; but that the members should have the same care one for another.
[26] And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it.

See All...; Philippians 2:1-5). Of course we also can offend and hurt each other, but one of His goals is for us to learn to reconcile and to get along. In that way, the Church is a workshop for living His way of life.

Biblical fellowship is a three-way relationship between us, God and His people (1 John 1:3That which we have seen and heard declare we unto you, that ye also may have fellowship with us: and truly our fellowship is with the Father, and with his Son Jesus Christ.
See All...). God puts us each in His Church where He wants us, with our own specific part to play (1 Corinthians 12:18But now hath God set the members every one of them in the body, as it hath pleased him.
See All...; Ephesians 4:16From whom the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supplieth, according to the effectual working in the measure of every part, maketh increase of the body unto the edifying of itself in love.
See All...). He listens lovingly to our conversations and records His precious people in a book of remembrance (Malachi 3:16-17 [16] Then they that feared the LORD spake often one to another: and the LORD hearkened, and heard it, and a book of remembrance was written before him for them that feared the LORD, and that thought upon his name.
[17] And they shall be mine, saith the LORD of hosts, in that day when I make up my jewels; and I will spare them, as a man spareth his own son that serveth him.

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God warns us not to "neglect our meeting together" because we so desperately need to encourage each other to "outbursts of love and good deeds" (Hebrews 10:24-25 [24] And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works:
[25] Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.

See All..., New Living Translation). VT