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Modesty

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Introduction

Modesty photoEvery day we make choices. The clothes we wear may not seem all that important in the grand scheme of life to anyone other than ourselves. Our clothes, however, speak volumes about us. Complete strangers may be able to surmise our gender, age, ethnicity, economic status, education, vocation, personality, and even character based upon what we wear. Employers, teachers, parents and peers will all take notice of our attire. The adornment of our bodies can either reinforce or change their ideas about each of us. The way we dress just may make the difference in obtaining a job, receiving an “A” on a school presentation, or making a good first impression and quickly earning the respect of our friends. Before we decide what we should wear tomorrow, let’s consider what God has to say on the subject of modesty.

God Does Not Care About Clothes, Right?

I SAMUEL 16:7: “For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

1. Could a Christian use this verse to gloss over the subject of proper dress and modesty? Why or why not?

COMMENT: Do not neglect the beginning of this verse. "As man sees," implies human beings do perceive others according to their physical appearances. We should therefore adorn ourselves outwardly to reflect our "inner man" to others. Anything else would be hypocritical. As we will see, God does have specific instructions on how we are to dress our physical bodies with spiritual lessons attached.

Also note that God was very concerned about the attire the High Priest would wear when appearing before Him (Exodus 28). Coming before God dressed inappropriately brought dire consequences (verse 43). In the parable of the wedding supper (Matthew 22:1-13), a guest is bound and cast into outer darkness because he didn't have on a wedding garment (verse 13). Surely, there are lessons in both these passages about being properly dressed for an occasion.

Defining "Modesty"

Now that we see God does care about how we dress, let’s define "modesty." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language (Fourth Edition, copyright © 2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company) defines modesty as, “Reserve or propriety in speech, dress, or behavior.” Few would argue that a Christian should guard his or her speech and behavior. Followers of Christ should also demonstrate godly character in their dress.

2. What images come to mind when you hear the word "modesty"? Do these ideas fit with the above definition? Why or Why not?

3. Focusing on the word, “propriety,” who determines what is proper in terms of speech and behavior? Would not the same be true of dress? Why or why not?

I TIMOTHY 2:8-10: “I desire therefore that the men pray everywhere, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting; in like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, but which is proper for women professing godliness with good works,”

4. This verse implies that a woman’s clothing can be proper or improper in correlation to her character. What clothing would be proper for women "professing godliness with good works"?

PROVERBS 11:22: “As a ring of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a lovely woman who lacks discretion.”

5. What does God say about being indiscreet--whether by word, action or dress?

COMMENT: Her indiscretion takes away her beauty and does not reinforce her good qualities.

ROMANS 12:2: “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”

I JOHN 2:16-17: “For all that is in the world -- the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life -- is not of the Father but of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever.”

6. What about the immodest fashions prevalent in our world today? Does it matter? Why or why not?

7. Must a young lady dress like her grandmother? How can young women still dress youthfully but also modestly?

Looks that Can Kill Spiritually

MATTHEW 5:27-28: “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery,’ But I say to you that whoever looks at a women to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

HEBREWS 13:4: “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled, but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”

8. Do clothes, or the lack thereof, have the power to lead people to sin?

9. Should Christian women wear clothes that attract sexual attention? Why or why not?

10. Give an example of immodest dress.

COMMENT: While a woman's dress with the hem below the knee may cover her body, it can still be immodest if it draws attention to parts of her body that should only be seen by her husband. Slit skirts, translucent blouses, and tight jeans are examples of clothing designed to be revealing and alluring. They are intended to tease a man and appeal to his carnal nature. Nevertheless, each person is responsible for his or her own thoughts. This is an ongoing battle for Christians (2 Corinthians 10:3-5).

11. How can a young man be immodestly dressed?

ROMANS 14:13: “Let us not judge one another anymore but rather resolve this, not to put a stumbling block or a cause to fall in our brother’s way.”

12. How does dressing modestly show love to our brothers in Christ?

13. Men, what can we say or do to encourage ladies?

14. Ladies, what do we want our clothes to say about us? What message does God want us to communicate?

COMMENT: Modesty is an attitude. Consequently, some women may not realize that what they wear could cause others to stumble. People in the church should encourage and help teach young ladies and young gentlemen to dress modestly with love and tact. Titus 2:4-5 implores older ladies to teach the younger women.

15. Young ladies, how can you promote proper dress among your friends?

16. How can modesty protect a woman?

The Naked Truth

17. What does nakedness come to represent in the Bible? (Genesis 3:9-10; Revelation 3:18). After Adam and Eve sinned and began to feel ashamed of their nakedness, how did God clothe them? Read Genesis 3:21. Why did He use animal skins? What was lacking with fig leaves?

COMMENT: There is nothing evil about the naked body. However, in Scripture, nakedness and sin are connected. [See, for example, Exodus 32:25 (KJV says the people were naked), Isaiah 20:4, and Luke 8:27.] Righteousness is seen as a covering (Galatians 3:27; Revelation 19:8). Sin needs to be covered. As human beings we have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). Modest apparel covers our nakedness.

18. Is there any context where no clothing is permissible? (HINT: Adam and Eve.) What was their relationship? Was there anyone else in the Garden of Eden besides themselves and God?

Modesty Now

19. How can we apply modesty beginning today? Next time we go shopping? Who can we go to for advice or counsel?

PROVERBS 12:1: “Whoever loves instruction loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid.”

PROVERBS 13:1: “A wise son heeds his father’s instruction, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke.”

20. What if someone we respect tells us in love and compassion that we should wear something a little more modest? How would God want us to respond?

COMMENT: God sometimes uses His people, our spiritual family, to teach us and we should remain humble and teachable as He does so.

Summary

1. How can it be said that clothing is a language?

2. What value does our society place on modesty? What value does God place on modesty?

3. How is modesty an attitude?

4. Why is modesty a virtue? How does it affect others?

As we go through life, let us choose to dress for success. Modesty and proper dress play a large role in our physical and spiritual maturity. If we serve and follow Christ, we should dress in a manner that shows respect to Him and our brothers and sisters in the faith. Love and respect resound as Christian Living basics. Dressing appropriately therefore helps us keep the two great commandments of love for God and love for our fellow man (Matthew 22:37-39). What will you wear to serve them both today?