Do You Ever Feel Like You Don't Belong?

Submitted December 4, 2013

woman walking away

We all feel like outsiders from time to time. Like we don’t fit in with whatever group we are in.

This happens even when we are with our families and friends or at church—places where surely, if not anywhere else, we should feel a sense of acceptance and security.

God never wants us to feel this sense of disconnection. It’s obvious who does. Satan is not talked about in general conversation much these days, which suits him just fine. He is oh so happy to fly under the radar, taking potshots at anyone and everyone, but especially those trying to follow God’s way of life.

“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age…,” (Ephesians:6:11-12).

Indeed, no matter the source, Satan is the actual one lobbing “fiery darts” of insecurity, doubt, fear and division at us (Ephesians:6:16).

How we think

Growing up, we’re trying to figure out our personalities and abilities and goals and preferences. We want somewhere to belong. But many times we feel alone and misunderstood.

It’s easy to let Satan’s subtle attacks isolate us from others. These negative and persistent thoughts and attitudes, if nurtured and dwelt on, can be a powerfully divisive force keeping us from the people we need the most and who need us the most.

Thoughts have incredible influence over us, “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he,” (Proverbs:23:7). Satan will exploit them to achieve his own destructive ends. He wants us to curl up in a self-pitying heap feeling irritable and misunderstood.

Don’t be another casualty to his plans! We all have the incredible potential to serve God and other people and build up our family, friends and church.

What we can do

Perhaps you struggle with what you can do and feel you don’t have a lot to offer. But you do!

- Are you a good listener? Give someone the encouragement of your time and attention.

- Does working with technology come naturally to you? Volunteer to help with your local church website or serve on the sound crew.

- Do you love to search for fun new recipes? Bake a treat and surprise someone who is going through a rough time.

- Do you have a talent for art? Make cards to send to someone who is sick.

These things all require you to make a move—to gain momentum that will lead you to connect with others on a deeper level. It may take some time and persistence to find ways to help, but keep at it.

All along, God has designed families and His Church to function dynamically by the combination of all types of unique individuals intent on building something positive and lasting (1 Corinthians:12:12-18).

If you choose to follow God’s ways, I guarantee you will notice that, despite your awareness of your differences from others, you truly belong!

Blog posts do not undergo review by the doctrinal review team of the United Church of God. This post represents the personal opinion of the author and should not be considered the official stance of the United Church of God. If you have any questions or concerns please direct them to


Lou's picture

Hello Debbie! I l♥ve the latter part of this post. They're doable and inspiring! Thank you so much! \(^__^)/


spec1kk's picture

I cant think of when I haven't felt that way . I always try to work out of it . and now I have some more tips from this article . I also love in a way being different and apart . I gues learning to be myself in Jesus ..Thanks Ms Debbie ..


babsie's picture

Thank you for a wonderful article!


suewilliams's picture

Satan seems to be a spirit that causes division. Sin causes division. Those that follow Satan tend to distroy one another.
Where as God brings At-one-ment. The law of God brings about the ability to live in close relationships with others that are safe. Thanks so much for your message it brings up many new thoughts to ponder.

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