"Father, Please Heal My Broken Heart"

The emotional pain inflicted on us by others can be far worse than the physical wounds we experience. What is the right ointment for wounded hearts?

"Father, Please Heal My Broken Heart"
Source: Photos.com

How can you mend this broken man? How can a loser ever win? Please help me mend my broken heart and let me live again.

These lyrics from a popular song of the ’70s, “ How Can You Mend a Broken Heart? ” by the Bee Gees, can certainly make us reflect on our own broken hearts. How many of you have a broken heart now, or have had your heart broken in the past? You have this huge gaping hole in your heart that was left by someone or circumstances. How many of you feel that this hole can never be filled and that you will be left with the hollow in your heart forever?

There can be many reasons why we are left with a broken heart: the death of a loved one, divorce, loss of a job, loss of status, loss of health, betrayal by a friend, loss of a child and, yes, loss of your childhood. All of these reasons can leave you a broken man or woman.

Along with enormous blessings, I have also had great sorrow in my life. The biggest sorrow of all was the loss of my childhood and never knowing what a loving father is like. I never heard my father say “I love you” or “I am very proud of you.” I never experienced what it is like to feel secure, with a strong father in my life, protecting me and keeping me safe. This reality in my life has left a hole in my heart—an emptiness that I once felt could never be filled.

Even though we have these holes in our hearts, I am here to tell you that there is hope for you and me, and for all the brokenhearted. There is hope for those who sorrow, because there is a Healer who will mend our broken hearts. As David said in Psalm:147:3: “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” God wants to heal us of all of our wounds.

What is a wound? If you have ever had an injury or a deep cut, you know how painful it is and how it hurts to be touched. Oftentimes sorrow and loss are like deep wounds. They can be so painful that it seems no one or nothing can make the pain go away. Sometimes our heart is so broken that we can’t even express the words and nothing seems to take the pain away.

People who try to encourage us can’t seem to say the right thing. Like a deep wound, a broken heart will not heal overnight. Like some medicines that burn when you apply them to a skin wound, so can a well-meaning friend who says the wrong thing at the wrong time. Who wants to pour rubbing alcohol on an open wound? We search the stores to find an ointment that we can apply to our skin wound that will not burn and then cover it gently with a Band-Aid. It’s the same way with our broken heart. We need the right ointment to bring about healing.

So what is the right ointment for our hearts? How do we begin to heal? How can the hole in our hearts that is gaping open begin to close?

1. Recognize the pain and understand it is OK to hurt. Sometimes we seek to cover the pain by ignoring it or through other means like the use of alcohol or drugs, which will only cause us to get infected and reverse the healing process. Like a deep skin wound, we must apply the right ointment or a Band-Aid so we can begin to heal or else it can get infected and become worse. We cannot ignore our pain and think it will go away.

Understand that it is OK to hurt. We try to push the hurt away, but we can’t. The hurt isn’t outside of us—it’s inside. So, in our attempt to push the hurt away, we actually push the hurt deeper inside. We then can spend the rest of our life running from this suppressed hurt.

By going through our hurts, we are a part of the human race—millions of people who are going through similar pains. It is during this time that we need a lot of love, encouragement and hope restored. We realize how frail we are and see our great need for God.

It is a time to reflect on the true meaning of life and the greatest opportunity of all to draw close to God. It is an opportunity to learn empathy toward others who are going through the same things. You cannot do all of these things if you try to ignore the pain.

2. Seek the Healer. Seek God as your healer! Just like you tell a doctor your symptoms, tell God how much you were wounded and need His healing touch. He will hear the cries of the broken. God the Father wants to reach down, take your hand, and walk you through your pain. It may take weeks. For many of us it will take years, perhaps even a lifetime to close the wounds of our hearts completely. God will spend as much time and as many years as necessary to help you through it.

He wants to gently apply the daily salve or ointment of His Holy Spirit to your heart until your heart is healed. I know this because He has done it with me. When I am down, He lifts me up in many different ways. He is there for me to cry on His shoulder, so to speak, and then sends His encouraging Spirit to get me back up and going again.

King David said in Psalm:56:8, “You number my wanderings; put my tears into Your bottle; are they not in Your book?” God was so aware of David that He even collected his tears. In the same way God is involved and aware of our pain, our joys, our failures, our accomplishments.

When Hezekiah was stricken with sickness, he poured out his heart to God. God heard him and saw his tears. God was moved with compassion. “Return and tell Hezekiah the leader of My people, ‘Thus says the LORD, the God of David your father: “I have heard your prayer, I have seen your tears; surely I will heal you”’” (2 Kings:20:5). God saw Hezekiah’s tears. Understand that God can be closer to us when the pain is so great than at any other times in our life.

“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit,” wrote David (Psalm:34:18, NIV). Ask and receive God’s love and encouragement, because He is very near to you. God can work with a heart that has a hole in it, because the need is so great for it to be filled.

3. Reach out to others. As God has reached out to us, so we should be an instrument of God to reach out and help others who are in pain. Solomon recognized the fact that people need to be comforted. In Ecclesiastes:4:1 it says, “Again I looked and saw all the oppression that was taking place under the sun: I saw the tears of the oppressed—and they have no comforter; power was on the side of their oppressors—and they have no comforter” (NIV).

Ask God to use you to encourage others through their pain. By your own pain you will be able to understand and help in a far greater way. Christ our Savior was in all points tested and understands all that you go through. He reached out to us by giving His life so that we would be healed.

Isaiah:61:1-3 discusses Christ’s mission: “The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor” (NIV).

This will come to pass when Christ returns, but in the meantime we should make it our mission to follow this example, and be instruments of healing by taking the time to care for those who are in pain and hurting. By reaching out to others, our own pain will begin to disappear; the holes in our hearts will begin to close.

Healing takes time

It takes time to heal. In my life, after 25 years, there is still a hole in my heart, but it’s much smaller because of God. Every time I feel God’s presence, every time I see God’s intervention in my life, every time I reach out to someone else, every time God grants me blessings, the hole in my heart gets smaller and is being replaced with God’s heart.

When God returns to this earth, the hole in our hearts and in mankind’s hearts will be filled and mended. There will be no more tears, no more pain, no more sorrow and no more holes to fill in an empty heart—for all our hearts will be filled with God’s Spirit. For as Psalm:126:5 promises, “Those who sow in tears shall reap in joy.” God will heal all broken hearts. We will no longer feel sad for what we lacked in this physical life because God will fill our hearts and make us complete.


O's picture

I have been Separated from my wife for 7 weeks I'm very broken hearted everyone tells me GOD is going to bless me for standing up for the marriage. I need to see these blessings now.Does anyone know when they are coming?


gam's picture

Are your standing that God will heal your marraiage? what a faith..just Read 1corinthians15:58 to encourage you to keep on your STAND. NEVER GIVE UP!
Ask God for a sign, seek Him with all your heart jeremiah 29:12-13 and he will answer you.
just keep hoping bro! Abraham hope even when ther's no more reason for hoping (romans4:18) so he became father, if you will give up your STAND, who will pray for your wife? Pray also for her salvation. God designed marriage, he is the creator of it. So ask the architect to renovate, reconcile, rebuilt, restore what has been destroyed. THERE IS NOTHING IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD (Luke 1:37) i can understand that its been 7yrs..and that's tiring in reality, but we dont conform with reality.. wordly standard.. instead, surrender to the LOrd, served him, & God will pursue your wife for you, dont count the years though it seems so long.. there is always what bible called.. GOD's time (habakkuk 2:3) not yours.. maybe, you need to have more faith in God.. keep Trusting the Lord.. specially when you feel lonely & down.. cry out to the Lord Jesus. His plans for us is to give us hope & future (jeremiah 29:11) but seek God FIRST (matthew 6:330
God knows your struggles bro! he collected your tears (pslam56:8)..spend alot of time with GOD...KNOW him more, Love him & his commandments.. dont go find other woman to replace your wife & to be happy at last..don't get tired of doing what is good for at the proper time you will harvest what YOU SOW, God is in control! just sow faith, prayer,hope trust in Him & the harvest is in HIS hands. (galatians6:9)..its not easy to STAND..but patiently & faithfully wait for the Lord jesus to act...in HIS TIME. God bless you! i will help you pray for your wife be touched by God and come returning to you in love like never before! :)


KARS's picture

Hi O,
I suffered throughout my life had a pre-arranged marriage, wanted out because of circumstances (I won't talk about them)and went through the splintering of the church of God. Through it all God our Father saw me through. It was tough, heartbreaking, lonely, frusterating, you name it. It was until I just couldn't stand it anymore and learned from the Book of Psalms how to pray for the first time in my life. I didn't leave my family physically but their times that I was mentally exhausted. However, because I was given motherhood responsibilites at the age of 8 that is what kept me going. Always trying to keep our family alive while I struggled within. It took 18 years to heal most of me. I have found when you begin our relationship with God our Father and His Only Begotten Son first, things start to happen. You just may find you will need a box of tissues near by. As Michael Jackson once sang; "I'm looking at the man in the mirror." We all need to to make that change for the better.


janettread's picture

I know of first hand how God can heal. My life as a child and teenager was not easy and I grew up in 10 foster homes. So I know how broken a person can be. I also know it takes time to heal. I am so sorry for your broken marriage, but I am here to tell you, God cares deeply for you and will help you through it.

We are all wallking wounded some us more than others but God knows exactly how to reach down and take charge of our lives and especially at a time when we can't take another step on our own. You just have to ask him.

Like everything else in life, we want a quick fix but not everything is a quick fix especially when we have been broken and hurt. We don't want to suffer any pain. Sometimes pain is required for us to grow in understanding of others hurting.

You have to take one day at a time and trust your Father in heaven to walk you through the pain. I say this with experience. It just takes time. But what helps you to heal quicker is to reach out and help others who are hurting and broken. Who can better help than the person who knows first hand what it is like to hurt.

Ask God to encourage you daily. Be patient and take one day at a time. God is a great encourager and truly has pity on all of us children as a loving father would.

Great chapions did not become that way without pain and setbacks along the way. They became champions because they did not throw in the towel when it became tough.

It will get better and you will heal if you allow God to take charge of your life.
Janet Treadway


Melsea's picture

My parents just got divorced in 2011...


janc's picture



i was very touched by your comment because im going thru marriage problems and i was very much encoureage while i reading your comments. I belive God will restore my marriage too..

God bless u all


Healseeker's picture

I am writing to ask for prayers. I have a broken heart. It's so bad I cannot function. I have asked god to help me through this and send the Holy Spirit to guide me but the pain and suffering seems to get worse tenfold. I can't help but feel my faith wavering. I have never asked for anything and always given kindness to people. I need help right now more than anything. It's to the point right now where in going to lose my job cause I simply can't go to work, I can't shower, even brush my hair. I have prayed and prayed but how many times do I have to ask god to help me?


KARS's picture

Is it cold? The cold feeds into the heartache and pain
To come to God our Father you must have humility and respect.
Yelling at God our Father, making demands that He has to do what you want is not the way.

I did not throw the towel in with my spouse and children. I had the biggest inner battle that I thought I had got rid of. But guess what; it hit me again this summer.

When we come before God our Father with a sincere heart with totally repect, He will lead us through the pages of our Bible and start to show us where we need to improve. It is not going to be easy at all. When praying, not only do we ask for humility, we ask for courage, strenght, faith, and His righteous love. His love is forgiveness. He can see into everyone's hearts. He will know if you are telling the truth or not.


DD's picture

Hi healseeker , am going through exactly the same right now ,i really feel your pain . .. Whatever you do please do not no matter what give up hope be patient and remember God's timing is always right keep praying he will answer your prayer. I Will pray to God to ease your pain and give You
peace of mind.


EHardNick's picture

Healseeker... You are experiencing depression. First I pray in the name of Jesus and cast down all vain imagination and I command your mind to rest and be covered in the blood of Jesus. You my friend have to keep moving. Yes it hurts, Yes it feels that you have been done wrong, but trust me it's gonna be alright. You probably are asking how can I utter such words to you? I can because I am too going through the same thing. I will spare you with the details but just know my friend you are not alone. But one thing I will not do is allow the spirit of depression to be present and I not cast it down. Depression will keep you from eating, laughing, loving, must of all living. Healseeker, take back the power you have given away and raise up. God created you for light not darkness. You can do it! If you had enough in you to post on the site you have enough to lift up your head towards the hills. You are afraid of the unknown. What has been has hurt you so bad that moving forward seems impossible. I know you thought this would never happen to you, but it has. Words have power and God has given you the authority to speak to your atmosphere. I felt so hurt broken yesterday that it felt like I was dying inside. I asked God will I ever be made whole, can He make me whole? I sit here today with great joy that my pain is so raw and so real that it lead me to you and the others on the website. That says a lot! Healseeker, don't be afraid it all works for our good! God will use your pain and your mess to be a message for others. Why not be a vessel and reign with Him! You can do it Healseeker. There is a garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness. There is beauty for ashes! LOOK UP AND LIVE, SOMEBODY IS COUNTING ON YOU TO DO SO.


afriend's picture

I signed up for an account just so I could write to you.
I have been where you are. With all my heart, I know that pain and even had to take disability from work because I couldn't function.
And I asked the same questions - how long do I have to pray... why isn't He stepping in to pull me out of this fire? When is my rescue coming.

Keep praying. Keep calling out to Him. He hears every word. He is with you and He knows your heartache. He will bring you through this.

For me, it's been 8 months of a broken heart and spirit, and there is no end in sight... but He has brought me this far and each day I hold on to the hope and promise that He can and will redeem this disaster. And in the mean time I have learned what it is to suffer rejection, betrayal, injustice....just as my Saviour did. I get it now... how incredible it is that Jesus forgave and loved the people who hurt him. My heart is still broken and I am still praying for a rescue, but I have a new friendship with Jesus and God the Father than I have never had before.

Jesus gets it. He understands your broken heart. And he understands calling out to his heavenly Father - He cried out to God that night in the garden. He is walking with you in this valley. He is with you in the fire.

I am praying for you right now, Healseeker. Keep calling on God. Keep reaching out for prayer, and get help when you need it.
Be strong and courageous (Josh 1:9). Keep hanging on.



uneek's picture

I am in the same place as HealSeeker. My heart is shattered into a million pieces and I can barely function. I cried and did not sleep at all last night. Today I sit at my desk at work in a daze. This torture has gone on for such a long time and last he finally chose the other woman over me. I also have a tender and kind heart. I am the giver, the protector, the one who has always had to be strong. I lost those closest to terrible illnesses, friends have moved on and I feel very alone. I pray, do affirmations and surrender but the emptiness has taken over. I am in financial distress and I don’t even care. I am alone. I feel I advance into a clearer mindset only to fall back further each time. I give thanks over and over for the wonderful things in my life and try to use positive reinforcement but often I feel as though some invisible energy is pushing me down. I pray for God’s will to be done. I feel so sick right now and I dream of God taking me to be with him forever because this life is meaningless to me.

Sabrina Peabody

Sabrina Peabody's picture

Dear uneek and Melsea,
I am so sorry to hear of your suffering. Please remember that you are not alone and that God is your greatest Helper and Comforter. I wanted to post some verses (all from different translations) that I found that have encouraged me thorugh my trials and helped me to keep the proper focus:

"So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the LORD your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6)

"Do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord God is with you wherever you go" (Joshua 1:9).

"The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears and delivers them out of all of their troubles" (Psalm 34:17).

"Let your requests be made know to God, with thanksgiving, and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6-7).

"Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things" (Philippians 4:8).

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths" (Proverbs 3:5-6).

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ. Now if we are afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effective for enduring the same sufferings which we also suffer. Or if we are comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation. And our hope for you is steadfast, because we know that as you are partakers of the sufferings, so also you will partake of the consolation" (2 Corinthians 1:3-7).

Keep praying to God and devoting special time to God. Remember you are not alone and maintain your positive thinking!

United Church of God

United Church of God's picture

Dear Uneek,

Thank you for your comment. We are very sorry that this portion of your life has not turned out as you had hoped.

In times of great emotional trial, you can turn to God and the Bible for comfort and encouragement, but it will take time to heal. As our article pointed out, “It takes time to heal. In my life I still have a hole in my heart after many years, but it’s much smaller now because of God. Every time I feel His presence, every time I see His intervention in my life, every time I reach out to someone else, every time He grants me blessings, the hole in my heart gets smaller and is being replaced with His own heart.”

Professional counseling may help you. If you cannot afford it, perhaps your church pastor can help. Also, there may be a United Church of God congregation in your area. If so, perhaps you can seek counseling from one of our pastors. On our website, just click on “contact” and on the drop down menu, click on “find a congregation.”

One important thing to remember is that you are not the first person to have suffered emotional trauma like this. You can learn from the experiences of others who have gone through similar trials, such as the lady who wrote the article you referenced. And, there are various women mentioned in the Bible who endured difficult trials in their lives.

You might read the book of Ruth. Her husband died after just ten years of marriage. In the society of those days, it was very difficult for a single woman (widow) to survive financially. But rather than make it a priority to find a new husband who could provide for her, she decided to care for her mother-in-law who was also a widow. Significantly, Ruth chose to follow the true God of Israel rather than the gods of her homeland. The story has a happy ending, and Ruth became one of King David’s ancestors. However, life was difficult for her for several years. The single most important thing she did to improve her life was to seek the true God and His way of life.

In our society, many profess to know and worship God, but few really believe Him and what His Word, the Bible, tells us to do. We encourage you to read our booklet entitled “Transforming Your Life.” You can find this and other informative and encouraging booklets at http://www.ucg.org/booklets/. Don’t give up. Your life is worth a lot to God.

Personal Correspondence Team


Skip's picture

Dear Uneek,
Once I felt like you and I almost did something stupid. Don't!!!
If you can, find a real friend and talk to them.
Let yourself be helped.
If you are alone (& have no real friend)
then you must do what Sabrina Peabody has written above:
Read those scriptures & believe them. We are a Church body.
We BELIEVE certain things that make absolute good sense.
I want to add two scriptures that I hope I never forget:
Matt 10: 22 (Endures means to hang on in a hurricane.)
Heb 13: 5 (The writer of Hebrews is talking about Jesus Christ!)

Christ can be found; keep looking.


Maryinsilence's picture

Im just new in this site... Pls pray for me... Im so down and scared... Just last nov 5 i had an emergency c-section due to placenta previa.. He was just 28 weeks.. And was at the icu incubator but after 2 days he died.. Im so scared that my next pregnancy would be the same... That i might loos a child again and next my husband.. Im scared that he will leave me if i cant give him children.. I know he loves me so much.. But i cant help to be scared.. I cant sleep anymore because of this.. I keep on asking why dis happening to us... We can be better parents so why us? The dr said that i need atlis a year to be pregnant again.. I feel that dis will be the longest and darkest year of my life... Pls pray for me...

Mary Lauren

Mary Lauren's picture

Dear Healseeker,

You are not alone. I am exactly in the same situation as you are for a month now. It is still very painful. I didn't know it was coming. I don't feel any anger to the person who cause me this so much pain, and I do not know how long will it last. I try to understand the person, there maybe a reason beyond our knowledge. Every time I think of the person (which is everyday) I can't help but cry. Tears help ease up the pain inside.

Faith keeps me going. I know Jesus is holding fast to my hands and walking with me right now and I know in time, the pain will heal. How long will I wait? I don't know. I just know that God writes straight even in crooked line. Hold on to your faith, don't be discourage, pray. Time will heal the wounds.

Suffering is a way to help us grow stronger, to bring us closer to God and mature in dealing with life's situation. I know it is easy said than done for us who are suffering right now. But God's grace will heal our wounds. Never forget, whatever pain and suffering we have right now, our Lord Jesus had experienced it and so He knows what you and I and others are going through and He is with you as He is with me right now.

Let us live our faith, that after this 'darkness' there will come the light. God will see us through. Keep up the faith.

Union of prayers.


paula's picture

my partner broke up with me last december 2. and it really hurts because i love her a lot, yes, that's right it's a HER (lesbian). we've been together for 3 years.we have plans and dreams together. until one day she told me that she love me but not enough to continue our relationship. it really hurts. feels like i'm dying. i don't know where to start. i just want to lie in my bed and cry all day long. sometimes i'm even thinking that i guess it is better to die so there would be no more pain..

everyday i'm praying that God will take away all the pain. sometimes i'm praying that God will give her back to me. i don't know where to start, i don't know what to do. i love her so much and i miss her so bad. i don't know why is this happening to me. i'm not a perfect girlfriend but i'm doing/giving my best to show to her how much i love her..

United Church of God

United Church of God's picture

Dear Paula,

Thank you for sharing your deep emotional pain with us. Emotional pain and loss is something that no one escapes. Everyone will experience losses in their life, which can then become a crisis situation for us to have to deal with.

When that happens, our crisis can present us with an opportunity to change our life for the better or it can cause our life to take a turn for the worse, depending on how we respond to that crisis and depending on what action we take. God wants us to discover and fulfill the purpose for which we were born and God wants us to discover the real meaning of life. A crisis can be an opportunity for doing that, even though we may feel the pain will never go away. It can become an opportunity to change the course and direction of our life.

All personal relationships can involve some pain, whether through death, separation or every day trials. As you have discovered, depending on another person for our happiness will often bring disappointment sooner or later. This crisis is now an opportunity for you to discover your talents, your creativity, your strengths and God’s purpose for your life.

God summarized the purpose for which we were born...

United Church of God

United Church of God's picture

when He said: “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness” (Genesis 1:26). God wants us to become like Him, so we can become members of His family. To that end, God created the husband/wife relationship, which the apostle Paul likens to Christ’s relationship to His church (Ephesians 5:22-32).

We have all been molded and shaped by our experiences in life, which have made us who we are. God wants to help us change who we are, so we can become who He wants us to be. So we can obtain our potential of becoming like Him. To achieve that potential, we must overcome who we are. “He who overcomes shall inherit all things” (Revelation 21:7).

In our society today, homosexuality is being approved by more and more people, yet this is contrary to what the scriptures teach. God told ancient Israel it was an abomination “if a man lies with a male as he lies with a woman” (Leviticus 20:13). You could also read Genesis 19:1-11 where the Sodomites wanted to perform homosexual acts and Lot begged them, “Please, my brethren, do not do so wickedly” (verse seven).

God’s views on this have not changed. In the New Testament, Paul said, “Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators,

United Church of God

United Church of God's picture

nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you” (1 Corinthians 6:9-11). There were a number of people in the churches where Paul preached who had such lifestyles in the past. However, they decided to change, and with God’s help they were able to change and have much happier lives.

The good news is that you can also change. As Paul showed, all such sins can be forgiven by the sacrifice of Christ (1 Corinthians 6:9-11). For more information we recommend that you go to www.ucg.org and do a “word search” for “homosexuality.” You will find several articles that might be helpful to you.

I also suggest you read some of our free booklets, such as “What Is Your Destiny?” “Making Life Work” and “Transforming Your Life: The Process of Conversion.” You can access these on our web site at http://www.ucg.org/booklets/. We will send you hard copies, if you wish. All you have to do is order them online.

We hope you will continue reading our literature and find new meaning and purpose for your life.

Personal Correspondence, UCGIA

Northwest reader

Northwest reader's picture

It is heart warming to read all the posts who encourage others through difficult times. I cannot add more to the wisdom posted but I will pray for you. I know God has granted great joy after great sadness so please keep turning to Him.


lynnie's picture

I was feeling broken hearted and I googled Father please mend my broken heart and this website came up. I just came out of a 5 year relationship with my boyfriend. He broke up with me in july. I was getting along fine but I caught up with him for New Years Celebration. He said he missed me, teared and hugged me. I held back my tears. I feel so torn and confused inside.

My sister prayed and she just advised me today that she has been praying for me since and she have a strong feeling that nothing good will come out of this especially she can feel that I will be so hurt again. My family and close friends says he is no good for me.

I know deep in my heart that he is no good for me. But how can someone I love so much be so wrong for me. Our chemistry together was and is still so strong. I prayed that God will show me and help me overcome this. Has anyone experience this kind of strong love where you feel you just lose yourself to the point of no return.

Sabrina Peabody

Sabrina Peabody's picture

Hi Lynnie,

I am sorry to hear about the pain you are going through. Five years is a long time to be with someone and so if you are going to get over him, it will also take some time. It is very important to consider input from those who truly love and know you. If you feel like deep down he isn't the right one, then do your best to be strong and do not go back to him. Chemistry will only last so long and you do not want to be stuck in a marriage relationship with someone you are incompatable with and who doesn't share the same goals in life. It will be even more lonely than how you feel now.

One thing that helped me was going on dates with God. I would plan to go to the lake or somewhere special and read the Bible and pray to Him. Building that relationship is the most important and God and the His words will guide you to pick a godly mate. You want to be with someone who will share the same spiritual goals too. Here is an e-book from UCG on dating that you also may find helpful:


Stay strong and pray God will direct your path in your relationships.


MamaLove020210's picture

Hi! Its been 5 months since my husband left me and still broken hearted, we are married for four years and have daughter, our married life is happy, he had a good job, i have also mine,we loved each other very much we experience a lot of trials like lost of our first baby, then after three moths i get pregnant (twin pregnancy) but lost the other twin after 19 days, We have long terms plans for our family until this trial came in our lives, Yes i do have mistakes and I admit it and do everything to save our marriage, I quit in my job and willing to focus on the family and become full time housewife, First we fixed this and compromised that we will start a new chapter of our lives but after two weeks he left us, and until now, i dont know if he's willing to save our family, our marriage every time i talked with him, he always say that he dont want to be with me anymore, Every time i think of him and think of our broken marriage my heart is crushed and i cannot explain the pain and i don't even know how to fixed this.
Every day, I always pray to our God that help him to realize the importance of family and show him the way to come back to us, and restore our marriage


hithere's picture

Ive been seperated from my wife 5 1/2 months. Shes been seperated from me for 7/ 1/2 months. Yep, she started her affair 2 months before leaving me. During our seperation God drew me closer to him by correcting me first. Whats more important to me? My relationship with God our my marriage, God ask me once. I had to give the Sunday school answer and say God was. Sure enough, as time passed my relationship with God did mean more to me and then he began working in me, then my wife. She was misreable where she was at (other guy's house). I went through high and lows of every emotion possible. Name it, i felt it!! But wow, God heals everything and corrects everything for his glory, Amen! He spoke to me and to her. Now she is sleeping next to me while I type this out :)
What i did learn was to seek God first and put everthing at his feet. And what i tried to do in 5.5 months he did just under 5 weeks! Trust in God and his will will superceed everyone's will. Dont listen to the enemies lies. Prodigals lives aren't as great as we think they are or as the enemy puts it. Keep standing for your marriage and know God can heal your hurt, God can give you peace. Don't quit..LET GO & LET GOD


janettread's picture

Always, always, ask God to encourage you. Always, always, remember it takes time to heal. Sadly, we live in a world that we want it now! Instant gratification not everything can be acquired instantly. Especailly emotional healing. Take one day at a time. Get involved with helping others to heal. Taking your mind off your pain and placing your mind on helping others makes a huge difference in the healing process. Never never give up!

Janet Treadway

Ivan Veller

Ivan Veller's picture

Dear Uneek, my heart goes out to you!

David experienced similar emotions: “I am overwhelmed by my troubles… My heart pounds in my chest… Fear and trembling overwhelm me, and I can't stop shaking. Oh, that I had wings like a dove…how quickly I would escape… Everything is falling apart…my companion and close friend…betrayed…he broke his promises” (Psalm:55:2-20 NLT 2010).

God personally provided needed care: “Morning, noon, and night I cry out in my distress, and the LORD hears my voice…Give your burdens to the LORD, and He will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall” (vv. 17, 22).

“God is faithful. He will not allow [this] to be more than you can stand…He will show you a way out so that you can endure” (1 Cor:10:13b). He is trustworthy and loyal, and we can rely on his promised relief.

God can create good out of this: “you planned evil against me but God used those same plans for my good” (Genesis:50:20a MSG)—and “the survival [“salvation” (BBE)] of many people” (HCSB). Joseph told his brothers, “‘Therefore don't be afraid. I will take care of you…’ And he comforted them and spoke kindly to them” (v. 21), paying forward the comfort God had given him.

Ivan Veller

Ivan Veller's picture

“He allows trials and suffering to occur in our lives for one purpose only—because it’s sometimes through the difficulties and the pain that He can take and shape us into the best we can be…God loves and cares deeply about you”: http://www.ucg.org/bible-faq/if-god-knows-im-hurting-why-doesnt-he-help-me

A friend of mine hopes you seek a counselor who specializes in grief work or depression (google “therapist locator” to find a licensed therapist in your area) and look “for the silver lining—to remember the afflictions of the Apostle Paul when he was in prison in Philippi and yet could say he was content where he was (Phi:4:11) and how Peter urged us to cast our cares (worries, fears, anxieties) on God for He cares for us (1 Pet:5:7).”

Lastly (the profile says it’s your birthday), you are so precious to God: “Never underestimate the value of your life. You were born to become one of God's divine children. You were born to receive His very nature and character and, eventually, eternal life on His level of existence”: http://www.ucg.org/booklet/what-your-destiny/life-gods-family/

God has “immeasurable love” for you: http://www.ucg.org/christian-living/breathtaking-love-gods-love/

Corey Gennaro

Corey Gennaro's picture


I am truly sorry for what you have already been through and will have to go through. Divorce as you now know is a disgusting thing to go through, do you see why God HATES divorce? God has a way of working things out for those who love God (Romans:8:28). Take time, a lot of time, and just wait. Things will get better and always do if you love God. Turn toward God for the help and listen for what God tells you by searching the scripture daily Acts:17:11. In time you will see that it will all work out. Remember that you are not alone; my parents went through a divorce 4 years ago. I am just starting to see the wonderful plan that God worked out for my whole family. Through the whole divorce it was miserable, but in time great things came out of it and it changed our family for the better even though it was not the way God would have had us to change. Hang in there!


Angel14071's picture

Hi I am new to this site. But i am currently going thru a heart break. My boyfriend broke up with me a few days ago and I am devastated. I have grown up in church and everything but I have strayed afar. I put my bf as my number 1. which now I know was wrong. But I miss him and love him so much. He broke up with me and I am just so lost. I dont know what to do. He acts like I never existed. It was just a bad arguement that escalated and went to him leaving me. We have been thru so much I dont understand how he can give up on me. I just dont understand right now. I need guidance from the Lord. Im just being so stubborn :/ I dnt know what to do anymore. I feel so alone and everything.


Faithlove's picture

Never have i felt such pain in my heart b4 I was with my BF for 1.5yr already living together, i thought i had found my soulmate.I always prayed to God for someone like him, & gave thanks to God for giving him to me. We shared so much love, but like a normal relationship we also argued, but we always said " lets not fight, im sorry & i love you " I was so confident in our love, i figured i would have him forever! As time went by, his job required him to move 1/2 way cross country & of course i went w/ him. We moved into our place & i spent all the little money i had decorating my home. In the mean time he had to rush out of town due to a family emergency, & when he came back he decided to not be with me, bc he had doubts! My heart sank, i cried & cried & to this day im still crying, this happened 3 weeks ago, long story short when he left out of town he decided to re-cendle an old flame with a GF he had years ago! So he basicaly left me for her! After packing my life to follow him, he betrayed me! This is the worst feeling in the world, i still love him so much & the thought of not having him its like i cant breath. im so depressed, i cant pic my life w/o him :( i pray 4 strength.


Skip's picture

Hello Faithlove,
I am truly sorry that you were so devastated! But if you don't quit, if you don't give up, if you go on, then you have learned a lesson -- a bitter lesson but one that probably will stick with you for a long, long time.
I don't want to give you any false hope but, as I have already said, if you do not quit, that lesson will help, down the road.


KARS's picture

Hello Faithlove,
This is K and I have something to tell you. You will need to mend first with the help of God our Father & Jesus Christ. They must be first in your day. If you don't read the bible, prayer is where you start. Make or buy yourself a journal. Write down your hurt feelings, happy moments, peaceful moments, etc. This will help you to release the bitterness inside. You must release these very painful feelings from your innermost being. This negative hurt is actually putting your body into some serious body chemistry imbalances. It may cause sleepless nights, fits of crying (and you really don't know why at times), irregular eating habits and so forth. The sooner you cast your burdens upon the LORD in prayer and journal writing; the better you will become. When your ready say a prayer and open your bible. Ask the LORD in prayer to lead you into the bible where the stories of trail and triumph can bring some encouragement. It is God our Father and Jesus Christ that must lead you now. Find a positive hobby to do. Something your good at. This too will also encourage you. When you are ready to meet someone again you will know. You'll be in my prayers. Love, K


lanie's picture

My prayers go out to all of you that are broken hearted. I also recently ended a 1.5 yr relationship that was unhealthy.. It's only been 2 weeks but it hurts so bad and the pain feels unbearable at times. I'm going thru a lot of hi's and lows right now but the past 3 days I started missing him like crazy and wanted to contact him but I didn't because I knew it would only hurt me more and set me back. I don't know what to do when my mind takes over and I can't stop thinking about him.


Faithlove's picture

after all that man has done to me i still love him & part of me wants him bak as much as i love him i have to love myself more & put God b4 me & anyone else. i dont understand yet why i was put through all this pain & sufforing, but one day i hope to look back and say thank you God for putting me through trial & making me the person i am today.Im very stubborn & its not easy accepting that what i had planed for me was not what god had planed.i planed on being happy with him forever & working to only one day hope to be successful..but mayb gods dream for me is bigger than what i had for myself, i trust him & the devil wants me to throw in the towel & get angry at god, but as bad as i still hurt & cry (a month & some days later) i still pray with an open heart.yes right now it feels like il never love again it feels like half my heart is gone, but since everything takes time i hope that 1day i find who is ment for me, whoever that may be or mayb even my X who knows. my mom said today, " honey idk why this happened to you or why that man did what he did but sometimes god has to break a person to restore them, make them new. Well i was broken in the worst way possible but slowly healin


Skip's picture

Hello lanie,
When a person says that they ended a "relationship that was unhealthy" I have to applaud that person. But what is it in we humans that will not allow us to then move forward instead of back?
Perhaps it is the remembrance of one or two (or several) good occasions. That is perfectly understandable.
But one or two (or several) good occasions are not enough if the relationship is really unhealthy. Even though you think that you will feel the way you do forever, you won't.
The only thing that will cure that hopeless feeling is time.
But as it passes you can do things to help yourself. What?
Find another person who is sad, has lost someone, was hurt, or is just considered to be of little or no worth. Sincerely try to make that person feel better. It will surprise you how much better you feel.

Janet Treadway

Janet Treadway's picture

Dear Faithlove

I am so sorry for your broken heart. Give it time! Take one day at a time. Seek God first and He will guide you through this. Here is a quote I read just tonight I want to share with all of you who are dealing with a broken heart, “We are all wounded. But wounds are necessary for his healing light to enter into our beings. Without wounds and failure and frustrations and defeats, there will be no opening for his brilliance to tickle in and invade our lives. Failures in life are courses with very high tuition fees, so I don't cut classes and miss my lessons: on humility, on patience, on hope, on asking others for help, on listening to God, on trying again and again and again.”
― Bo Sanchez,
Keep getting up and trying. As many of you have shared your heartache, It is clear you are not alone. It is clear that healing comes from sharing and reaching out to help others in their pain. Who better to be able to encourage others than those of you who feels this hurt. One day at a time with your Father in Heaven. It will get better, Let God's healing power heal your broken heart.


Webelieve's picture

If you keep hitting your thumb with a hammer, it will never get well! Grow up!! Do your best and give Father Yahweh the rest. HE will take care of you IF you shake that devil dealt feeling.


Webelieve's picture

Please don't think I'm rude and heartless brothers and sisters but sometimes we must show tough love.


ineedmoreofHim's picture

i am currently going through a great heartache also and am seeking God and Jesus for my healing. i admit my sins and know that the sins i committed and turning my back on God brought this on. the person i'm broken over and curcumstances literally brought me to my knees. through this pain i'm at the mercy of God and Jesus Christ thats it they are the only ones through prayer that can heal me. i just wish this pain would go away but like alot of you are saying, it's going to take time and obedience to our Lord. i truly want to serve God and live a Godly life. i realized also that when a person stays in their sin that God will not dwell in it with them. i don't want to be in my sin. i know the flesh is weak, i feel i'm the worse. i walked away from God years ago when i got involved in the sinful deeds and i need to make it right and never do it again. i need all your prayers, i need bible study and true Christian fellowship. i live in a small town in nebraska and am an outcast for reasons i cannot say here. if anyone here is willing to fellowship with me **Information removed to comply with comment policy**
with all my heart i write this


ineedmoreofHim's picture

i have a request. is ok to send you all a friend request? i mean i know on facebook if a person does that they will get shut down. i would like to fellowship with you all on a daily basis. i really enjoy all the comments and i see that i'm not the only one with a broken heart and i'm in hopes we all can help each other heal in some ways


KARS's picture

Dear Maryinsilence,
This being the Sabbath day I chose to come on-line. Don't you be worried about having another child. If you want another one put your trust in God our Father and our Savior Jesus Christ.

I was pregnant for a 3rd time but miscarried my baby in my 1st trimester. I was scared, heartbroken, sad; but I put my trust in God. You said your husband loves you. This is good.

Our Father is a miracle worker. Trust Him. Let your body mend. Because I didn't give myself time enough to mend our 3rd daughter was born very thin the following year. God blessed her and she is doing as well as can be.

Each time we have a child we women need to rest, mend, and build up ourselves again with wholesome foods,vitamins and excerise. Taking a nice daily walk with God our Father in His beautiful creation be it park, lake, even neighborhood will help.

To get rid of the fear find a hobby you are good at. Encourage yourself with pretty things around you be it music, art & crafts, flowers in a vase, reading the bible daily, and don't forget to pray. Journal writing will help us let go of the past and relieve us of tensed & worried feeling inside. It brings forgiveness of self and others.


tearingapart's picture

My marriage is falling apart more and more every day. I find it so hard to get up in the morning and stay awake throughout the day. It's so hard to start up a conversation with my husband because he hardly will ever respond or acknowledge me when trying to talk. We have three children,two of which have a learning disability, and one of the two being recently diagnosed with Autism at the beginning of April. My husband and I have been together for ten years and married for eight. We haven't had the greatest marriage from day one. Sometimes I think it's a lot harder for some people to grow up and realize they aren't children anymore and they have to face the day as a grown adult.

My husband is an alcoholic. I really thought that when our first child was born he would cut back. Boy was I wrong! Here we are nine years later after our daughter was born and he's drinking just as heavy, if not more than before. He can't just drink beer, he has to drink all the hard stuff, which makes him an angry drunk. I hate that my kids see him this way almost every day. We argue 99% of the time because of it. It's so hard especially when he's never there to help with our autistic son.


KARS's picture

Hi tearingapart,

You need outside help. I had a friend whose husband was an alcoholic. To encourage her and just be there for her. I went with her to an Alan-on meeting for victums of alcoholics. Your husband needs to come to himself. You can't do that for him. It will take God our Father to do that.

Even though you may not be drinking in a sense you are. You not only need help with that but with the kids as well. You are carry a heavy load and if you continue in this way you may burn out from all the stress. Please seek help for yourself and the children. You need to put yourself and the kids first.
The support groups will help give you ways to coupe.

Go to God in prayer to help you build up the courage to take that first step to recovery. You make yourself strong and you just may be able to make that difference in your life to carry-on.
Don't forget to pray for your husband that he will find his way back from the pit of despair.



KARS's picture

In case you all missed this article. This just may help you take that first step.


korimajhor's picture

I was with someone for 15 years and I thought the relationship was dead. I asked GOD to remove him from my life, because I was too cowardly. GOD removed him and I have to tell you; it has taken me 7 months of crying, before I heard the voice of GOD. I ask GOD why does this hurt; I'm the one who wanted the relationship to end? GOD replied: because the relationship ended on his terms and not yours. I said: Why would you allow him to hurt me like this? GOD replied: You ask me to remove him from your life. However, you did not tell me how. I replied: I feel like I want to die. GOD's reply: I know the pain is GREAT, but if you hold on....my reward is coming. I felt like a child when I heard him say this. He continued: I am using this pain for your greater good. Through this pain I am changing the way you live. With pain;there is joy, where there is distress; there is encouragement and GOD gives you have inner peace. Thank you JESUS for all you have done; will continue to do in my life! I am ready for you to use me. GOD'S discipline is often hard to bear. Nevertheless, you have someone to lean on...that promises to do the heavy lifting.

Jani S

Jani S's picture

I'm in so much pain I feel I can't carry on anymore I'm so lost I dunno how to get through this my heart is sooooo broken I don't really have anyone to speak to and I'm really in need of support and compassion and prayer I'm no longer in contact with that person and its killing me I love this person so deeply I dunno how to be without them. And I feel so alone I feel so trapped my heart is consumed with hurt and brokeness I'm feeling the loss the great loss and what bothers me even more is that person isn't feeling the loss because of what I did but I never meant too I just reached my breaking point because of all the pain this person has caused me and I've always just taken it and I feel so horrible because of what I did and I can't take it back...I'm hurting so badly please keep me in your prayers its needed and much appreciated. I've never hurt anyone or did something bad to anyone so I'm not use to it I'm always use to getting hurt and mistreated by everyone and its just taken a toll on me as a person so much so that I wish I wasn't so soft that I was cold and hard on the inside.


minniemouse128's picture

Please pray for me. Single mother, struggling. Feels like the world is on my shoulders.


jlang's picture

Hello I am new to the site. I am going through tough times that are similiar to this. My wife and I are having trouble and I fear we are splitting apart. We both love each other dearly but recently have started having problems. I hate that I only call on God during crisis but understand that only true healing can come through him. I have been trying to solve my own problems an realize I can't. I have a heart and pain that I can't fix. I guess I am just trying to say to hang on and ask for prayers. .. I could use some too.


I love God

I love God's picture

I created this account just to share my story and let you know that God does listen and Hheal. Three weeks ago my boyfriend; (4 years) the love of my life and I were planning our wedding, buying stuff, looking at venues and everything was just perfect. My world completely turned upside down when he told me that throughout our relationship I had hurt him so much that he didn't know what he felt for me anymore. I told him, we could not get back together if he did not know what he felt and for us to leave things along and if its God's will we would get back together but we needed to put the Lord as a priority. He immediately agreed and decided we should not communicate. I fell into a huge depression, lost weight, cried endlessly and felt so much regret because he had been such an amazing man to me and I did hurt him a lot. One day I came home and begged to the Kord for forgiveness, and peace to accept His will. I asked the Lord for comfort and for Him to take all my emotions and transform them into Love for Him instead. I realized that instead of my Lord, I was putting a man in a pedestal. I also realized that had it not been for the break up I wouldn't have realized.see cont.

I love God

I love God's picture

..Continued...I realized I was making so many mistakes, and eventually our marriage would have failed because I was bringing in resentment from a previous relationship to this wonderful man. Now my Lord almighty has given my heart, the peace I need, he has forgiven me and I'm so comfortable Loving Him first and accepting His will, which is something I asked him for. Im still praying a lot, writing daily letters to God and when I start feeling depression again, I read bible verses and connect with the Lord and I truly feel Him acting in my life. I love my ex with all my heart, but not more than my God almighty and if my Father chooses Him for me, perfect if not, he has better plans for me. The result of this break up led to a solid relationship with God, and He has molding me into a Christ-loving woman and has made me into a new better person. God bless you all. He does listen and He loves us. Please dont give up and seek him at all times.

GOD and I

GOD and I's picture

Hi everyone, I was searching on the internet for tips on how to deal with a broken heart, when I came across this site. I recently moved to Dubai some months back and bumped into some guy I had met last year when I visited. He seemed so nice and we became very close friends. He would come see me everyday and would take me to work with him, as he's self employed,I became so addicted because we would spend everyday together morning until almost midnight when he would drop me off to go home to his wife. I didn't have any other friends and so it was a welcome friendship to keep away the loneliness of being far away from home and being alone. Then he started telling me he was falling in love with me and he knew I could never love him the way he did me. I was a lot attracted to him and eventually gave in, I knew this was wrong, but it couldn't help myself, because I had fallen deeply in love with him. He would say stuff like he wishes he had met me years before, he would have married me. I made it a point never to interfere in his marriage, I never wanted to hurt his wife. I trusted him completely, I thought he loved me and would never hurt me, but he did. And in the worst way possible

GOD and I

GOD and I's picture

Continued: I waited for him to call me as usual, one Thursday and after waiting in vain,I called him. He seemed fine and asked for us to meet up as usual, but when he did come to see me, he spoke so rudely to me, and almost threw me out of his car. I was so sad and confused, I kept begging him to tell me what was wrong, but he even got meaner. From that point on the man who had seemed like my best friend turned into a stranger. I got upset after a week and sent him some insulting messages, which I regretted and later apologized for, but he treats me like a stranger now, he doesn't care if I live or die. It's not so easy to make new friends here, so I spend most of my time alone, most times crying and in pain. I have asked GOD to forgive me and help me move on. But being alone makes it so hard. I remember all the times he would come pick me in the mornings, or even call and ask me to get dressed. Now he doesn't even text, I really miss him. I know I'm the only one suffering, as he has his wife and friends and is living his normal life, while I'm left alone to wallow in loneliness and self pity. I trust GOD is watching, and in time, I'll be better, even though now, I'm lost in pain

Sabrina Peabody

Sabrina Peabody's picture

Hi GOD and I,
I am sorry to hear about your sadness and your current situation. I have lived overseas and know it can be very hard to make friends when you move to a new place or are surrounded by a different culture and language. I was taught by my family to remember the verse, "A man who has friends must himself be friendly" (Proverbs:18:24). I know it is hard when you feel betrayed by a friend, especially when you feel they are your only friend--but don't let that stop you from making more friends! Go outside and experience life, nature and meet people who have the same interests as you. It is SO easy to wallow in self pity--I have done it, I am sure many have done it--but the best way to get out of it is to go get involved and do something. Helping others and being more active is a great way to start! Ask God to guide your way. A word of caution: Be careful who you choose to become friends with... If you know a man is married, I would avoid becoming buddy-buddy.

GOD and I

GOD and I's picture

Thank you so much Sabrina Peabody . GOD bless you.


angelarun2001's picture

dear uneek,

I am also in the same situation as you are, my man left me for another woman.

and it hurts....but I also know that his happiness with the other woman will last only temporary. god wouldn't bless something so unholy and something so cruel done to us.

we are going to be blessed, good things are going to happen to us, but we must wait for it


Dado's picture

Hi everyone
Thank you so much for posting all your pain and your support it has really helped me to think what I am going through , it not because I am a bad person but life sometime will treat you so unkind and that is when God comes in and carry you when you can’t carry on. The bible state that is the enemy comes like a flood God will raise the standard.

My story 2 years ago someone broke my heart by breaking a 4 year relationship, and got married to some women, I was in so much pain and God helped me to heal through friends and family. And eventually the hurt went away. And the following year I lost my mother, my granddad, grandmother and my aunt. I was so hurting because I felt as there is nothing for me in this world. Again I prayed cried my heart to the Lord and hoped that the pain will eventually go and guess what God helped me through my lost and I was coming to term with the loss. Last year the guy that left me told me his wife was cheating on him again and he is divorcing him, he sorry for all the pain he caused me. He now knows that he was wrong to leave me. I told him that I cannot be with him as much as I have forgiven but I cannot forget for what he did. And I don’t

True Believer

True Believer's picture

i just wanted to say thank you to the person who posted this article. i was anointed by the spirit of God in 1991 and two weeks ago a situation happened that caused me to close up my heart. i have suffered badly for two weeks. i know you think probably well two weeks isnt long when others have a lifetime of suffering. But when you are so intimately connected to God through the holy spirit for so many years and then suddenly its not there inside you anymore, its a horrifying experience. i tried everything to get God to come back to me. i prayed day and night. i raised my hands to praise the Lord. i danced for Lord. The ache was overwhelming. i knew i had grieved the Holy Spirit and was being punished. it wasnt until, in my desperation, i searched on google for an answer to why God turned away from me and realized He never did ! it was me. i turned away from God when i closed my heart to other people. This article was a revelation to me and i realized what had changed in me is i was no longer reaching out to people with God's love and light working through me and thats why i became disconnected. I begged Jesus to heal my broken heart and He did ! In that instant !


lizzymedrano's picture

god please take my pain away and mend my broken heart back together,


Deeds's picture

I had an argument with my husband over house chores when we both returned from work on Friday. I apologized afterwards but he still will not talk to me nor touch me. I feel very lonely and sad because I detest grudges and I could never do same to him. It makes me remember my childlessness,because if I had a child I won't feel this lonely when he wants to keep acting up.I was up all night praying against a crack in my home, I couldn't even go to church today because I know I'll weep during worship. Please pray with me.


Biosky's picture

Thanks a lot for this article, God has used this to healed my heart. I still don't understand what happened to me fully but I have the peace of mind that I have not felt for the past 3 weeks.
Thank you Jesus for the sting is over.
Please join me in praying for my marriage and family, that God almighty should finish that which he has started and take all the glory.

Janet Treadway

Janet Treadway's picture

Biosky, and Deeds, Thank you so much for your comments. I wrote this article full well knowing how many people are hurting. I also wrote this article because I am living proof of how awesome God is. Always,always ask God to encourage you. It works. He cares more for you than anyone else. Praying that God will heal all that is going on in your family, in the meantime, pull up Steve Myers most recent BT Dailey, titled, “Wait.” http://www.ucg.org/beyond-today-daily/christian-living/wait . In the program Steve Myers quoted this scripture; In Psalms:27:14; "Wait on the Lord. Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart." Mr. Myers went on to explain the verse. “The verse actually tells us there how to wait. When you read that word “wait” and what it means, it is not just to hold on, but it means to trust and to hope and to eagerly expect that God will strengthen you.”
God will strengthen your heart, you just have to ask Him, trust Him and many times wait while this great, gifted heart surgeon, our Father does His marvelous work in you.

Janet Treadway

Janet Treadway's picture

Deed, I am praying for you. How often we have these arguments and in the heat of the argument we say hurtful things that most of the time we did not mean. Or we wished we could take back. Trust me, I know from experience.

We have all come from different backgrounds and all take baggage into our marriage. So we all deal with arguments in different ways. Some can come back and say they are sorry and it is over with, while other take a little longer to get over. I guess that is why we have to ask God to help us not to say hurtful things.Especially when we are tired.
Ask God to heal your empty heart and ask God to heal your husbands heart. Ask God to give you understanding as well of your husbands background. Understanding each others backgrounds will give us more tolerance and patience with one another. Take one day at a time and ask God to fill your home with His presence. It is clear you are trying to go God's way. Leave it in God's hands. Ask Him to take your loneliness away. He is pretty awesome at working things out for us.Often times we try to fill our lives with people and things when the real need is God. God made us that way to need Him.


Skip's picture

Hello Deeds,

I can't actually help you. But you said you apologized and that may help --- after awhile. But you asked for prayers, and I will pray right now: Father, please help Deeds with the problem she is experiencing. You are the only one who can get at the real issue.
You care & love Your children more than we can understand. And, please help them work together in the future to solve problems. In Jesus name I pray this. Amen.


dgoodlett's picture

Hello, it's amazing when you reach out and find out their are others going through something similar. I too was in a relationship, where I have fallen deeply in love, but He decided to chose the other women. I'm so heart broken right now. It's been three weeks and I'm still hurting. I'm trying to go on with my life. I know that it will take time, I never felt like this before in my life. I talk to God everyday to help me move on and heal my heart. I have cried many days. I have the faith that I will overcome this heartache because I do believe God hears my prays. I going to remain strong, although I know I will have my weak days. I will keep talking to God and Praising His name everyday I live to see another day.


brookchelle's picture

I dont know where to start. my spirit has taken a beating almost solidly for over 10 years while going through a divorce, custody battle. My ex's parents have done all they could to claim my children as their's. I wanted to just go home to my family all this time (I was homesick and the divorce happened where I lived out of state and I wanted go back home to my family) but with their money they managed to hold me in their State where it was a choice for me of leaving my children or staying there in order to keep my children yet remain under their control. I eventually got to leave this year with the condition that my little boy remain with the grandparents. I am now home with 3 out of my 4 children and so I am near family too. I am still dying inside though as on my son's birthday, I get told by the grandparents that I can no longer call him by his name as theyve changed his name legally. I was told I am a bad person, a manipulator and a liar. I am NOT these things! I have been questioning though if I am. This type of treatment has been going on for years by them. I have wished I wouldnt exist anymore but the love of my children is so much greater than my hurt. I'm broken.

Lena VanAusdle

Lena VanAusdle's picture

I'm very sorry to hear about the difficulties that you are having in your marriage. There are very few things as agonizing as that can be. I don't know what your difficulties are, but you state that you love each other, and that's a great start. I would suggest that you try and find common ground, and if she is amenable to the idea, try and find a competent marriage counselor, hopefully they can help you both find your way back to each other, and a loving and fulfilling relationship together. God sincerely wants a relationship with you at all times, not just the difficult ones, but I understand that feeling of shame when you forget to call on Him until you need something, thankfully God looks at our hearts and knows what our desires are, we can turn to Him and commit to building a relationship with Him, even after we've lost our way; we can go back to Him. Perhaps as you seek to develop a relationship with God your relationship with your wife will improve.


KARS's picture

Hello everyone,
There is an old saying; "Time heals a broken heart."
God our Father and Jesus Christ do just that.
God our Father is a loving Father. He had King Solomon write this Proverb for us:
"The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding." Proverbs:9:10 KJV

When we all come to God our Father in humility and respect he will begin to mend our brokenhearts. He will show us our shortcomings so that the blanks in our eyes can be removed. When we begin to self-improve through the word of God; then we can see clearly how to mend, rebound, and become the servants of God the way he wants us to be.
You have been in my prayers.

Janet Treadway

Janet Treadway's picture

dgoodlett, One day at a time. It just takes time. Looks like you are on the right track. Because of the pain you have gone through you will be able to reach out and help others who are hurting.

God bless.


onelasttime's picture

when I was 3 years old my dad left my mom. I'm the oldest of 3 kids so I had the responsibility to take care of my sisters. I always had to stay strong and be there for them. but the older I get the harder it becomes. I wish I could have a life with a dad and just be happy. I feel so left alone. I've been crying my eyes out for nights because I think it's my fault he left. I can't contact him because he asked a restraining. I talk to God about it almost everyday, I pray for it but I feel like it's just getting harder. and I'm trying to tell myself I'm over my dad but I know I'm not, I just pretend to. my mom and I don't have a good relationship. all we do is fight all the time. I really feel let down by all the people I care about. I just wish my dad would come back...


Healed's picture

To everyone that feels like there is a pain that is just chiselling away at their happiness and wellbeing!, you are in good company. Hold steadfast onto the fact that there may be pain in the night but joy will cometh in the morning. And it is indeed time to awaken into that glorious day because the Lord GOD will be faithful to see you through. Jesus in the garden, Martha and Mary over Lazarus, Joseph maliciously thrown into the pit, Disciples after the crucifixion. I know it hurts but ROMANS 8:18 my loves! The present sufferings do not even pale in comparison to the coming glory within us! I too am going through a break up from a 4 year relationship, My first one actually, and I still have that peace and joy that GOD has been preparing me for, for such an event as this! To the cases whereby you werent married! Take heart, in the blessing of retrospect you will see you needed to be treated better, deserved more and GOD is equipping the one for you as we speak, i hold onto that, that i will be courted beautifully, not mediocre or contacted only when he was going through things.

If there is a bond "he needs me". He needs Jesus, trust me, i spent 4 years trying to be someone's


Healed's picture

saviour, and it just fell apart, it was not my role, he was going through issues that only the AGAPE love of Jesus could mend.

I could go on forever, but in cases were you were hard done, trust that you will get DOUBLE for your TROUBLE, so RELEASE! that is the best thing you can do! God is wanting to do so many great things in your life, including restoration, but that will come with surrender of all things, YES even the rejection, the emotions and your heart.

He loves you more than you will ever know. I find that (even though it is days recent) what helps me is to focus on my relationship with God, which i somewhat placed after my relationship with my BF. He will reciprocate and then some. God is more than ENOUGH! He pursues relationship with you to the point of sending Jesus! You may not realise it but GOD makes all things work together for the good of those who love him! THUS He is working behind the scenes and the Bible says as soon as we fix our eyes on him, the tide of the battle turns in our favor! That past relationship does not even stand a chance with regards to what God is preparing for you! walk into the blessing. I am raw but EXCITED! God is advocating!!!

United Church of God

United Church of God's picture

Dear Brook,

We deeply sympathize with the terrible stress you’ve endured for over 10 years and the heartache you suffer from not having your son with you. There is nothing like a parent's love for their children.

Please don’t become paralyzed with grief or depression. You have a great responsibility and opportunity to shape the hearts and lives of your daughters, so put your energy into being a wonderful mother to them. And pray every day for your daughters and your son. Though you can’t be with your son, God can send guardian angels to protect and guide him.

When your ex’s step-mother or anyone else accuses you of anything, don’t necessarily believe the accusations, all of us should examine ourselves daily to see if we have sins or faults that we should repent of. But this has nothing to do with the opinion of others. Satan the devil is real and he might be trying to use her to discourage and deceive you.

Focus on your relationship with God; rely on and talk to Him every day in prayer, He is “A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy habitation.

United Church of God

United Church of God's picture

God sets the solitary in families; He brings out those who are bound into prosperity; but the rebellious dwell in a dry land” (Psalm:68:5-6). Psalm:147:3 says, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm:86:15 says, “But You, O Lord, are a God full of compassion, and gracious, longsuffering and abundant in mercy and truth.”

You build this relationship with God when you pray and study His word. When you pray also remember that Jesus Christ can sympathize because He was hated, insulted and persecuted during His earthly ministry, “If the world hates you, you know that it hated Me before it hated you... Remember the word that I said to you, ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted Me, they will also persecute you” (John:15:18, 20).

Try to focus on what you have; you have your daughters, your family near-by, and you know that there is a God in heaven who loves you and is working to help and save you and your children.

So please pray every day; pour out your heart and just talk to Him, telling Him all your sadness, fears, hopes, longings, trials, requests, confessions, and thanksgiving. He will listen to every word (1 John:3:22).


juancl's picture

Hi my name is juan I was In Relationship with my exgirlfriend for seven years and this past sunday she broke up with me I made mistakes that am not proud I try to make it right but she closed her heart to me I need a prayer to help me heal my hurt it hurts to see her go but I must let go if anyone is out there please pray for me to heal this broken heart


IneedhealingNYC's picture

I'm in a situation that's didn't start off the traditional way and I'm beginning to feel as though the pain I'm in is my karma. Me and this guy have known each other for the past three years. I started to see him when he was doing well financially and I stayed around when he had nothing at all. I helped him the best way I could possibly do. And all the while we weren't official. We agreed that we would work towards building something and I even asked him if things were different, as far as his circumstances, would he consider to be with me he replied yes, but not at all right now. I'm just confused as to the sudden changed with him and the thought that he could care less about how I feel and leaving me like that. I've been heart broken before, but I've never felt any pain like this. He knows how I feel about him because I've expressed that to him over and over again. I feel like I let myself down. I pray that God can turn this situation around, but I'm starting to loose hope because things remain the same. I'm just trying to understand how can someone treat a person like this when they've stood by you through the storm.....

Janet Treadway

Janet Treadway's picture

I do understand how your feel. My own father, whom should have been my protector was very violent to me. Many times I thought I would not live through it. Ia asked myself over and over again, how could my own father treat me in such a way?

That was many years ago. Although it is not the same as what you are going through but none the less very painful. I have learned to put my life in my Father's hands, my Father in Heaven that is.

God is the one that will help you get beyond this. even though it seems impossible right now. Think of the people who have lost their own children to death and yet they place their trust totally in God. He is the one that will offer healing. He is the one that sees your tears and your sorrow when no one else does. One day at a time my friend.

Ask God to encourage you. Ask God to bring people into your life that will encourage you. He will. He has performed so many miracles in my life. And I do not hate the one that caused me so much pain but have forgiven my earthly father. The fact is my father needs healing as well. One day at a time. It will get better. Hang your hope on God not on another human being. For God will NEVER disappoint you

Malachi 3_16-18

Malachi 3_16-18's picture

Hi InNeedOfHealing,

You mentioned BUILDING. That is a great analogy! Start building a rock-solid friendship with God first (Lk. 6:47-49; Mt. 6:33), and then ask Him to send you some good friends who will build you and others up (Heb:10:24-25). And determine to be a good friend yourself, with God's help. Good friends must always be kind but at times have to be blunt (Prov:27:6). If we're a true friend and they leave, we should maybe see it more as their loss rather than ours, although it is painful. We've all had friends who have let us down. After all, they're human, just as we are. Some of them even hurt us terribly, either because they don't yet know a loving God, or because they've been part of a cycle of abuse themselves (or most likely both). I have some good friends, incl. my mate, but have also sufferered pain from "fair-weather" friends.

Be cautious, remembering to seek the friendship of those who don't just make us feel good but who help to make us good (Prov:27:6,9,17; Eccl. 4:9-12).

I'm praying for you.


Peaceseeker's picture

I'm going through heartbreak after heartbreak my whole life. I'm only 23 years but I feel like I never have been happy a day of my life. Imy 4 years girlfriend broke up with me last may since I can't sleep eat normally and even be my normal self. I still find the strength to continue my career and still kind and happy. Her parents wanna still be friends that's the toughest part about it. They don't see how much it hurts to be with them. I never love anyone like I love my ex girlfriend. My parents got divorced when I was 8 and I left my family and country when I 13 for better education and life. I usually find the strength to get over things but now I realize I never really got over my parents divorce I still have a big hole in my heart and I want my ex girlfriend back.
I'm getting tired leaving my room is a challenge and I haven't slept in forever. I need advices and whatever help I can get. What can I do? I don't drink do drugs or a big fan of sleeping around. Thank you


Sinner's picture

Hi all

I am a guy trying to seek for healing of a broken heart. I dated my ex girlfriend for almost 3 years. I was immature at the beginning and took her for granted from times to times. I hurted her because I didn't know how to handle my emotions. It was my first relationship after 28 years because I have been reserving my heart for the right person, and I know she's the right person even until now. We broke up since March, and she has moved on to meet new people even though she still has some feelings for me. But conciously and subconciously I'm still reserving mu heart for her, because I'm still deeply in love with her. I really cheerish the time and memory we spent together, so I decided to wait for her hoping God will heal our relationship. But recently a guy from her fellowship who she know for 2 months confessed to her. She was really honest with me that she doesn't have feelings for this guy yet, but she is gonna give him a chance to get to know him more. I never feel so intimadated since we broke up even through there were guys trying to go after her from times to times. I still love her and miss her a lot. I know the right thing to do and I'm willing to do is to let her


Sinner's picture

go if God provide her with someone more suitable. I keep telling myself that give her my blessing because that's God's will. But my heart still hurts so much, I feel so heavy everyday when I wake up and I'm very scared to go to sleep every night, because I would wake up in tears when I feel like I will lose her. I know God has a great plan for each of us, and I want to trust Him more and be grateful for everything He has provided for me. I'm just very scared that when I have to let her go, my heart will hurt so much and I will never be able to forget her...

Sabrina Peabody

Sabrina Peabody's picture

Hi sinner,
I am skeptical that "waiting for her" and for God to heal your relationship will work. Love requires action and sometimes that means letting go. Were you a better person when she was with you? Also, was SHE a better person when you were with her?

I have found it helps when you focus on being grateful for what you have each day, especially in prayer to God, and focusing on serving others--this helps you get out of thinking of yourself and overly fixating on the situation.

You mentioned immaturity--go out and find successful men and ask to learn from them (Proverbs:1:5, Proverbs:13:20). If you haven't already, evaluate what you learned in the relationship and what you would have done differently or would do differently in the future.

Don't let yourself wallow because that does not attract what you may be wanting the most, love. Instead, go out and rejuvenate yourself and do your best to live God's way. Your light will begin to shine and you will begin to find your way and the next steps you need to take in life.


babsie's picture

My heart breaks for another reason. We had temporary custody of our precious grandson for a year, and he then moved on to his father's sister and her family to be loved for the rest of his life. That took a terrible turn (very long and sad story), and my baby is now adopted out in a state where adoptions are closed. All of us who loved him for 4 years are shut out of his life, perhaps forever!

My heart cries for him daily, but my point in writing this is to say that when I cry, they are tears of selfishness!! The REST of the story is that according to very reliable information, he is adored and much cared for by a family who wanted more children, couldn't have them, and wanted to give my grandbaby a forever home. They understand his special needs and love him as their own.

God has shown me that He is my grandson's true caregiver, and that He knows what is best in caring for him and loving him forever.

I feel that when it is best for my grandson, God will let us see him again. Until then. my trust is in God for He knows what is best for my grandson's development and happiness!! TRUST IN GOD

United Church of God

United Church of God's picture

Hi Peaceseeker,

We are pleased to respond to your need for guidance. There are times in the life of almost every person when we feel hurt, discouraged and all alone; those moments alone can feel absolutely overwhelming. Please allow us to provide some biblical thought for real hope in your life. We do not know the finer details of your life in the past or the details of what you plan for your future, but there are solutions that we would like you to consider.

Jesus Christ claimed authorship of these words and be assured that this claim is indisputable. John:10:10 tells us why Jesus came to this earth, “I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” This may be the time that you need to ask where you are going and why you have not really felt happy your whole life. The past can hurt us deeply, but how we handle that past may also abnormally harm our future if not handled in the best manner.

Christ also made this promise to those who desire to follow Him. Luke:4:18 says, “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because He has anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; He has sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives ...

United Church of God

United Church of God's picture

...and recovery of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed.” You may be feeling that this may be a description of you somewhere in this prophecy. You do need to know that your life has purpose and that the teachings of Christ are a genuine path to a productive and purpose driven life that will bring true success inside and outside of your heart.

We do encourage you to take a next step. You need a source of strength to lead you that goes beyond the strength you have now. We would like to suggest two ways you might take this next step. You choose the next step.

One, please feel free to call our pastor located closest to you if you would like to talk about what to do next with your life. You are emotionally hurt and that hurt clearly runs deep. His contact information can be found at http://www.ucg.org/congregations/all .

Two, if you are uncomfortable with calling one of our pastors, please at least consider this free study aid from United Church of God titled “Why Am I Suffering?” You can find this study aid at http://www.ucg.org/booklet/why-am-i-suffering/ .


bleedingheart's picture

If Lynnie, who posted a comment on Jan 2 2013 is reading this, then I empathise with you. I know exactly how you feel,to have a love so strong where you lose yourself to the point of no return.
I had my heart broken 26 years ago and I still haven't gotten over him. He was my first love and I was his. I have tried everything imaginable but nothing has worked.
To try to put things to rest, I knew I had to contact him and found out that, incredibly, the exact same week that I started looking for him, he started looking for me. And so, I've fallen in love with him all over again, except this time it is deeper and all consuming. I'm not sure what the future is for us yet because it's complicated.
I'm not with him but my heart is still not free to love anyone else and that's a very lonely and desolate place to be. It's so tragic. Life is so unbearably painful for me that sometimes I feel like I'm going to die of a brokenheart.
It's the not knowing of the outcome of all this that's giving me overwhelming heartache and pain. I ask God all the time why He would bring us back into each others life again, if we weren't meant to be. Why?? Surely life is not meant to be this sad?


KARS's picture

Hi Lynnie and Bleeding Heart,
I've been there done that. There is a healing processes through God our Father's Word the Holy Bible. I found that I had to let go of the emotional attachment. Oh, it still hurts now and then; but if you going to heal, you have to let go.
Being each morning by putting God our Father and Jesus Christ first in you day. Read the Psalms; King David, the Son's of Korah, and Asaph had alot to say. King David had many troubles but through it all, he found a way to stay in touch with God through the good times and the bad. That is why I believe God the Father called him "a man after his own heart"


cryingwidow's picture

My life has been in the shambles since my husband died of cancer in 2011. I have since lost jobs (one year unemployed now), went through bankruptcy, young adult daughter claims to be lesbian and is mentally ill, could lose home and friends and family have bailed on me. I seriously do not know how I am still walking around. I want to die...but I don't want to die. I don't want to go this road...alone! My husband was young (53) and we could have had many more years together. I HATE married couples, happy people because I am so so sad. It hurts me when people talk about marriages, family trips, etc. and I will never have any of this again. I have no money coming in except for my daughter's ssi (small amount we have to live on) and no job prospects. What could God possibly have good for me on the horizon? Homelessness? I cry and scream and pray and beg...still nothing.....why is this so bad for me?

United Church of God

United Church of God's picture

Crying Widow,

I deeply sympathize with the heartache, pain and misery you’ve been suffering. Suffering through one or two problems at a time is tough, but you’ve been going through many distressful trials at the same time.

God hears all our prayers and is deeply sympathetic, but He has let you suffer for a while because He is working out a long-term greater plan for your life. I believe this may be a turning point in your life as God leads you step-by-step in calling you to be one of His disciples; His daughter (John:6:44, 65; 2 Corinthians:6:18).

Please don’t be jealous of others or harbor hate and bitterness. God is in the process of blessing you with the “true riches” and “hidden treasure” and the “pearl of great price” (Luke:16:11; Matthew:13:44-46). In this age, God is not calling the “rich and famous” but He’s calling people who feel weak and broken as you do (1 Corinthians:1:26-31). You will someday look back and see how your trials “worked together for good” (Romans:8:28). The more your mind is filled with the knowledge of God’s Word and then you put that knowledge into practice, the more your life will be transformed to one of great purpose and joy.

United Church of God

United Church of God's picture

Please check out the study aids, “Why Am I Suffering?” and “What is Your Destiny?” I believe they may be of help to you.

Please write to us whenever you have questions or we can be of further help. Take heart -- brighter days are ahead!


Victory's picture

Hello every i am a new member of this site. I came here because i need GOD! I am a 36 yo mother of four and i just feel broken from the inside out. Moreover, making it hard for me to be the best parent i can be due to this depression i am going thru.

About 6 months ago the man that i am still in love with left me for as i see it for no reason and no explanation. He had no car or job and no income. I loved him thru his struggle and helped him as much as i could even if i really didn't have it to give.

I feel very very hurt and used because this went on for two years and the minute he got on his feet he vanished. And stopped communicating with me what so ever. I have spent many night crying and praying to get over this but 5 months later here i am writing this thread. Which means i am still deeply hurt and in pain because of it.

I have had other relationships in the past that actually lasted much longer than this one but managed to get over it rather quickly. But this last one broke me and is affecting all areas of my life and i still cant stop thinking about him.

Im asking for everyone to pray for me, that i may get him out my head and heart in order to move on. Thank you

Blue star

Blue star's picture

I am asking for your prayers. I am so broken hearted now. It's been a week since my boy friend and I broke up. At first i thought I accepted that we are over. I didn't cry. But yesterday I feel the pain. It's very painful. I always cry. I send send him messages, begging for him to come back. But he didn't reply. And that what hurts most. He did so many hurtful things to me in the past. I easily forgave him. But when I ask him to give another chance our relation he didn't respond. It's so much painful. I ask God to give strength to overcome this pain. Please pray for me and to all whose hearts are broken into pieces. Thank you. God bless us.

Lena VanAusdle

Lena VanAusdle's picture

@Blue Star
I will add you to my prayers, I know how difficult it can be to lose someone that you love. It's painful. But please don't forget about the difficulties that you went through. If his behavior was as you say, you are better off without him. One day you will find someone who will love you as Christ loves the church (Ephesians:5:25), which is what God intends for a Godly relationship.

Janet Treadway

Janet Treadway's picture

Dear Crying Widow,

My heart ached for you when I read your post. Sometimes the pain is so great that you think you will never get through it.I too could have been bitter and angry at all those who had such a happy childhood.I could have also been angry at other teens who had happy stable homes,with parents that truly love them. But God reached down and took charge of my life.Encouraging me along the way.
What has helped me is realizing how many people are hurting just like you and just like me. Anger would only destroy my life, while reaching out to help others to heal has given me healing.So many people are hurting and in great need of encouragement.

I recently saw a program about people reaching out to help others to overcome their own pain, grief and loss. This mother's story touched me the most.Her teen's last words to her and his dad was,"You think I am a loser." then he shot and killed himself right in front of her.You could still see the pain in her face as she talked about it,but she decided to help others and refuse bitterness and anger to creep in.What an example of courage! Reaching out heals! Reach out for God's great encouragement.God will make it right! God bless!


KARS's picture

Hello Blue Star,
Nice to meet you. During this painful time it's good to know that God our Father and Jesus Christ are their to listen to your prayers. Go into your room shut the door. If you have a lot of personnel issues to talk about go into your closet (turn on the light if you are afraid of the dark). There, talk to them as you would a person face to face. When we hurt for what ever reason; letting go of those hurt feelings will actually help. Those hurt feelings can sometimes make it hard to live. We don't want to
stay in a blue mood for long. It's not good for our mental and physical health.

You said that your relationship had some hurtful experiences; all relationships do. Right now is a good time to remember your childhood dreams. What did you want to be when you grew up, what were your fun things to do (walks & gardening are mine); the list goes on and on. Mend first, put God our Father first. He will help you see what is important for you. Then when you are doing better you can ask Him to help you find that special someone. First take care of yourself. Get yourself together.
You'll be in my prayers. Have a good weekend Blue Starr. :o)


Bassinmind's picture

May 7 I lost my wife to brain cancer after 1 year of treatment. We live together for 35y. and had 4 children. I have been crying every day since her depart to our Lord. For a year I stood strong to show her support and strenght. Now that she is gone I brook down, for the first time in my life at 61 I'm alone in a house,crying to God,feeling that I have been rob of our dream of living finally for ourself after raising our familly, time for ourself to do thing together but NO. She had faith up to the last moment that Jesus will heal her and even on her dead bed I wait for her ressurection because God can do it, but no.The pain is sometimes unbearable,i kown billions of peoples when trough this but it does not ease my pain. I know where she is there is no more tears,pain or so and she's finnally with the love of her life who she pray and worship every day. But my pain remain, i will never find a person like that in my life,I ask God to put a end to my life, simply in my sleep because i can find reason to live and enjoy, I have been rob. I love my children , they have there life to live and hope for a better futur,as for me I just don't see it.Excuse my english. i'm French L in C

Pamela Joan Bar...

Pamela Joan Bartholomew's picture

Dear Bassinmind, You will see your wife again in a new age on earth. You still have her inside you: all the experiences of knowing her. Be what God and she wants you to be. You can help others who grieve. On this site, go to articles that you can leave encouraging comments after. Draw close to God and ask Him to give you positive feelings toward Him and life. Christ is coming very soon to lead the world to true peace and happiness in Power. You need friends. Go to a Bible oriented church like United or Living Church of God. It is okay to grieve your loss, but realize your children still need you as their father. They miss their mother. Grandchildren can especially be devastated, but sometimes can't communicate those feelings.... You can help your family with the loss. Volunteer at a cancer center if you have the time and strength and want to. Just a few ideas when you are ready to face life again. God can give you what you need. Just ask Him. Life isn't easy, it is training for the next life. Most people don't know God's Plan for the future, but the churches I mentioned do and you can find information on this site about the Millenium and the Second Resurrection.

Janet Treadway

Janet Treadway's picture


I am so so sorry for you loss. It will take time. One day at a time. God sees your tears. He does understand your great loss. He also understands why He allowed it to happen. One day you will as well. There are so many others going through the same thing. Ask God to send someone into your life that will encourage you and someone that you can encourage. There is someone out there that is in need of your encouragement. Reaching out to others helps us to heal. Perhaps look around and do some volunteer work with youth group or with the elderly. So many lonely people out there that needs a friend. So may people going through right now what you are going through and they need encouragement. Ask God to show you where you can best serve to help others.

What helped me to rise above my past and my pain was to reach out to others. It does help a lot and so many people are in need of help and encouragement. One day at a time my friend. Always ask God to encourage you. Don't feel guilty to go out and enjoy life.


Inesmae's picture

Hi everyone!

I was here just slightly over a year ago, going thru exactly what most of you are going thru / went thru. But today God had completely healed and restored me. I'm here to share with y'all that our God is an awesome God!

God’s love is abundant and His grace is sufficient for me! He said in Jeremiah:29:13 If you seek Me, you will find Me; and He really meant what He said.

I was very much in love with my former boyfriend of over 10 years. We were best friends, we would always spend time doing everything together. I’d constantly pray and ask God to bless us with a marriage even though he’s not a born again. One day, God revealed the truth that completely changed my life. I came to know that he was married with another girl a few months ago. I even saw their wedding pictures and video clip of their wedding celebration. My whole world fell apart, all my hopes and dreams shattered.

When I confronted him, he confessed that it was arranged marriage by his parents and he had never dated the girl nor had he loved her. But at that time, it didn’t matter anymore because she was already pregnant. I know that’s the point of no turning back for us.


Inesmae's picture

However, I still kept asking God to intervene hoping that He would change the situation for me. But what God did was He enabled me to look him in the eye and tell him how much I’ve loved him and this love knows no hatred nor anger; and I forgave him and wished him a blessed life and marriage. He was overwhelmed with guilt and completely devastated.
As I was still struggling to accept what had happened, the pain inside me was so tremendous that I could hardly sleep, not even swallow any food. I could only cry. A week later, I was diagnosed with breast cancer, stage 2. My family was really upset, worried and in disbelief. At that time, I was very calm, I was not at all worried about my health. I was secretly hoping that God would bring me home. Without any delay, I quickly received treatment. First, lumpectomy surgery then 2.5 weeks later my first chemo. I had 8 rounds of chemo altogether. Slowly I began to lose my taste then my hair. It’s like God pressed a ‘reset’ button on my life the day He revealed the painful truth to me. Then He wanted me to start afresh all over again.


Inesmae's picture

God did not let me go through my ordeal alone, He was faithful and He carried me through every difficult moment whenever I cried out to Him. There were times when I could not endure the pain and I would call unto Jesus and keep repeating until I feel calm again. There were even times when the doctor was surprised that I still looked pink and felt fine when my red blood cells actually dropped way below normal readings. When many people experienced terrible side effects from chemo, my oncologist was impressed that I progressed well with the treatment. It all lasted for 7 months but God sustained me.
Most of the time I feel depersonalized, I did not think that I really matter to God. I know God loves us but I felt maybe I’m just a face in the crowd. But as He drew me closer and closer to Him, He spoke right into my heart through Pastor Joseph Prince’s book – Destined to Reign; that I do matter to Him. He knows me by name and has a personal love for me. In spite of the mess I’m in, He wants to meet my every need and make my life beautiful again. I wept but with tears of joy.


Inesmae's picture

From that moment on, I completely surrender my life back to Him. God slowly transformed me, bringing me out of darkness and misery into a world full of love, joy and peace. He led me to a nearby local church called Banner of Love. It’s a small church but with lovely, amazing people. God opened my eyes and heart to experience life in a way I never experienced before. I began to appreciate life more, and find that my life is slowly opening up and I can feel that life can be beautiful again. Slowly but surely, I realized I have completely let go of my past and God had healed and filled my void. I used to living a life that I’d proclaim I love God and He loves me but now I can say that I’m in love with God and the relationship between us is profound and growing deeper day by day.
No matter what difficult situation you may be in now, Jesus is there right beside you. If only you open the door of your heart to Him, you will see and experience what great and awesome God He is. He is able to transform every bad thing in your life into good and even into ways beyond your imagination simply because He is a good God and He loves each and every one of us in a special, intimate way!


Smg's picture

I feel so comforted by God to have found this site and to have been privileged enough to read your stories and testimonies.
I was 6 months away from marrying my boyfriend of 10 years. We moved in together 8 months ago into my parent's place.
Things took a turn when he decided to move back to his dad's place after an argument we had. And days after that, i received a text from one of his family member telling me that my fiance had female company over.
I crumbled. Without questioning him, I packed all his belongings and left it at his dad's place. I stood firm that i never want to be with him. At this moment, i was filled with so much of anger and hurt.
A week after my anger subsided, i started seeking for answers from him and he seemed to be willing to work things out. Days after, he changed his mind and was dead set on leaving me and calling off the wedding.
It has been 4 months now and i am not going to lie. I have been praying for him to come back and have a change of heart to rebuild our relationship. However, a few days ago, i found out that he has moved on with another person. He now treats me like i meant nothing to him and said that he does not love me anymore.

Sabrina Peabody

Sabrina Peabody's picture

Hi Smg,

I am glad you have found something to help comfort you through the pain of your situation. I pray you have the guidance you need to move forward in the best direction for you so you can rise to your full potential in life.


Newana's picture

I wasn't raised a Christian. At the age of 23 I met a Christian boy who helped me see and turn to God. Now we've been together for three years (I'm 26 now) and in those years I've seen him fall. He had strict boundaries, but kept crossing them. First he recognized his sins, but at the moment he often doesn't. He feels God hates him for his sins and will never forgive him. Now he is like Lot in Sodom and Gomorrah, living in the world but hating it. He is very depressed. I worry greatly about him :( Officially we broke up last week, but my heart tells me to be there for him. To hold his hand while he explores the world to then come back to the Lord. He was home schooled, raised by his grandparents and had not at all seen much of the world. Could it be that we had to meet for him to help me turn to God, so that I in my turn, could help him understand the world and then come back to God? We were to get married this summer, but obviously I can't now that he has turned his back to God. Should I still wait for him, or should I move on? :(


Diona25's picture

I'm sorry for everything your going through God is a healer of all things have faith in him to see you through your hard times... I'm somewhat like u, I understand your pain my bf broke up with me yesterday right before I had a major operation I woke up in pain confused lost and empty I cried and vented and prayed I can't say I feel better for my heart is truly broken but I have faith in God I know he does everything for a reason he makes no mistakes. I know he is working on me just like he is working on you and we will both get through these hard trying times... keep your head up and pray if it's meant to be it will be God wants u to work on u and when the time is right and he feels u have grown into a better person then true love will follow.

Malachi 3_16-18

Malachi 3_16-18's picture

Hi Diona25,

I will pray for you and for Newana, to whom you wrote encouragement. Hats off to you to for reaching out to others when you yourself are suffering so much. I know that if you have faith in God and obey Him, He will get you through this, and make you the stronger for it. And it does help us to deal with our pain when we reach out to others (2 Corinthians:1:3-4).

You’re right – God wants all of us to work on ourselves. We can’t change others, but we can set a good example for the sinner, and thus make it easier for them to repent later when God calls them to repentance. Love the sinner but hate the sin.

Malachi 3_16-18

Malachi 3_16-18's picture

Hi Newana,

I’m sorry about your pain. As I wrote Diona25, we must love the sinner but hate the sin. I’m glad you recognized your friend’s sinful life prior to marriage. We all sin, but Christians can’t be living a lifestyle of sin. When we see our sins, we must immediately repent and change. For a clear understanding of repentance, check out this booklet from our site:


So many fall in love and are convinced they will be able to “change” their mate, but that never works. Marriage only accentuates any existing problems. Only God can change him. Take the matter to Him and ask what He would have you to do. You have your own life to live, and from what you’ve shared, I don’t think it’s being unfaithful to him if someone else comes along. Trust in God with all your heart and don’t lean to your own understanding. Acknowledge Him in all your ways, then He will direct your paths (Prov:3:5). Boldly yet humbly claim this promise from God, and I truly believe He will make it clear what to do. Whatever you do, don’t follow your friend down the same path of sin in order not to “lose” him.

Praying for you.

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