Have you thought about how your example effects those around you?
[Gary Petty] When my two daughters were young, every time I would come home, I’d look forward to it, I’d come to the door, start to unlock it, and I can hear, “Daddy, Daddy.” They would be running across the floor. And they would run up and of course, I would be happy to see them. But sometimes it was like, “Oh, I had such a hard day and just give me some time.” And I would sort of put them off. And after a while, my wife said, “You know, I know what kind of evening we’re gonna have as a family based on your mood when you walk through that door.” And I said, “Well, what do you mean?” She said, “Well, if you come through that door happy, those two little girls are happy the whole rest of the evening. If you come through that door grumpy, they’re grumpy the rest of the evening. If you’re moody, they’re moody the rest of the evening. Whatever mood you come into this house with, they absorb and that’s the way our evening’s going to be.” So I started thinking about that, and I started noticing it, and I started trying to make sure that when I walked through that door, I had a positive attitude and played with them and interacted with them. And it made the evening totally different. We don’t realize sometimes the impact we can have on our own family.
You know, in the book of Proverbs, Solomon writes this, “He who troubles his own house, will inherit the wind.” We can trouble our own house, we can hurt the others, other people in our homes, and not even realize it. And of course, what happens when we trouble everybody else, whether it’s our children or our spouse, we end up inheriting nothing. We inherit the wind, as we drive everybody away from us. I want you to think about these questions I’m gonna ask here. Do you do this? Do I trouble my house by taking the frustrations of outside distractions on my spouse or children? How unfair is that? And yet it’s easy to do that. You know, if I came home after a bad day it was easy for me to somehow take that out on my children. And then they suffered because of it. What did I reap? Having a bad evening.
Don’t have unrealistic expectations of my spouse or children and doom the relationship to constant disappointment and resentment. Now sometimes we can have such high expectations of those around us, nobody can meet those expectations. We actually trouble our own house. We inherit the wind because we’re just not helping them to develop, we’re always putting them down. Do I often try to control the other members of my family to meet my expectations, or force my desires upon them, and end up creating anger and drive them away? This is something I’ve dealt with many times as a pastor, counseling, and families where the man or, you know, the dad or the mom are actually driving their children to anger by the way they treat them. Now, I understand as parents sometimes we have to do things that upset our children because we have to do them because they’re right. But the child has to understand our motivation, is because we’re looking to do what is right and because we have their welfare at heart. If they feel like we’re doing it, you know, being mean to them, putting them down just because it’s easier for us or for our own desires, they will become very angry.
And then do I trouble my own house through my selfishness and lack of understanding and caring? We just don’t understand. And we don’t care. Every one of our children especially need understanding that they can go to mom and dad and know that these people, even if they’re upset with them, even if they think they did something wrong, they will try to understand them and try to care for them. You know, it’d be a good thing for husbands and wives to sit down and answer these questions and then discuss it with each other. Each of you answer these questions concerning yourself and then see how your partner would answer those questions. Because we have to be careful we don’t fulfill what Solomon wrote. He who troubles his own house will inherit the wind.
That’s BT Daily. Join us next time.