Feeling Broken, but Moving Forward

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Feeling Broken, but Moving Forward

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The last couple of years, I have been dealt with some new arrivals in my life. Not the kind of arrivals that make one happy. I was diagnosed with painful knee and spinal arthritis. Later, rheumatoid arthritis (RA), an autoimmune disease was added to the list. Recently, I was told I have a torn tendon in my ankle. Finally, I found out I have sleep apnea, which hinders my healing and other major bodily functions. I often say I feel broken. I have learned a lot through this process. I have also come to realize there are similarities to my walk with Christ.

God's people will also have good, bad and horrible days, but we should not let it keep us away from what we know is right.

When I first encountered each of these maladies it was difficult to function. I felt overwhelmed and was unable to cope very well. I was depressed and didn’t know how I would be able to function. Knowing that knowledge is power, I studied on my symptoms and learned what resources were available. God has provided us a wonderful brain to help us through such situations. It gradually begins to adapt to the pain. We still feel it, but the brain becomes accustomed to its unanswered beacons and seems to dull the pain slightly. We also learn how to move, what makes us feel better, and what to avoid doing in order to make it through.

I think about our Christian walk. When God first called me to the truth I was confused. It seemed everything I thought I knew was incorrect. I was uncertain I could cope with all the change. I had to study to gain full understanding, but it was sometimes overwhelming. I had to learn to lean on God and not myself in order to get through. I was learning to rely on the Holy Spirit to relieve my confusion and give me discernment. I was learning what I should do, how to live and what to avoid, so that I would ultimately be better.

Always a way

When I had my first real attack of RA my body quickly stopped working for me. At first, it was some swelling and stiffness in my joints, but within days I couldn’t roll over in bed; I could only creep across the floor. I couldn’t lift my arms—my elbows and wrists wouldn’t bend. I remember one day standing at the top of the stairway and bursting into tears. It might as well have been a descent down Mt. Everest as far as I was concerned. I eventually found a way, however pathetic it looked. After getting anointed and seeing a rheumatologist, I was again able to function in a semi-normal way. It wasn’t perfect, but it was much better.

As Christians, we also run into temptations and trials. At first, we may think there is no way out. It can appear as a mountain standing before us, too big to overcome, but God tells us we always have an escape. “No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it” (1 Corinthians 10:13 1 Corinthians 10:13There has no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that you are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that you may be able to bear it.
American King James Version×
). We have the assurance that even though life may be a bit rough at times, we do have an advocate—Jesus Christ. “These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33 John 16:33These things I have spoken to you, that in me you might have peace. In the world you shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.
American King James Version×
, King James Version).

I understand that unless God completely heals me, I will no longer have physically wonderful days. Some are good, some are bad, and on occasion, some are still horrible. Am I happy about that? No, but I am no longer miserable about it either. Sitting at home giving up on myself solves nothing. I refuse to let this take me out. I will continue to do all I can to keep moving forward. It was a lot to take in at first, and I know I will spend my entire lifetime discovering how I can make my life and body better.

God's people will also have good, bad and horrible days, but we should not let it keep us away from what we know is right. We must go to church, share what we know, and we must keep moving forward along the narrow path God has laid out for us, or be led astray. “But you, O man of God, flee these things and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, gentleness. Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, to which you were also called and have confessed the good confession in the presence of many witnesses” (1 Timothy 6:11-12 1 Timothy 6:11-12 [11] But you, O man of God, flee these things; and follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, meekness. [12] Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, whereunto you are also called, and have professed a good profession before many witnesses.
American King James Version×
). We are in training, gleaning all God has for us to learn. This discovery process will surely take the rest of our lives, but we can do it!

Feeling broken doesn’t mean we can’t move forward.