Sooner or later someone will do or say something that upsets you to the point that you cannot forget the incident. That is how a grudge develops. Nursing a grudge does not make it better, and the longer we carry it, the more of a problem it becomes. Grudges simply do not belong in one who strives to have a good attitude toward life and eternity. Paul wrote that a bishop is not to be an angry person, but a person of self-control (Titus 1:7-8). Paul also wrote that anger will come, but when it does, we are to be careful not to allow it to bring sin (Ephesians 4:26).
Paul went on to say to “put off” things like anger and therefore a grudge (Colossians 3:8). We cannot always resolve the cause of anger or a grudge, but we can “put it on the shelf” by leaving it with God. We can meditate on the grudge and learn how much we hurt ourselves by feeding it. We can take steps to resolve that which we perceive as a hurt done to us and we can simply avoid the person that brings these strong feelings up in us. Most important is the need to face and handle the grudge—don’t let it grow. Take action.