Jelly and the Good Book Report

Announcer: Jelly is filmed before a live studio audience.

Mr. Coach: And that is why you never, ever, ever, e-HEH-ever grab a jackalope by the tail. Oh, that's the bell, everybody! If you guys wouldn't mind, please return your permission slips so that we can go on the class trip to Jolinda Farms. Also, Jelly, Ella, your reports are due tomorrow, so if you need any help at all, please feel free to reach out.

Jelly: Huh? Well, that's new information! Is this real life? Oh, Jelly boy!

Jelly: Oh, Peanut! Cut it out! You're not even a five-pound fruitcake! Okay, I need to get back to work. It's getting late. Now where was I? Jelly, think, think, think! Aaaaa! Must call Coach!

Mr. Coach: Oh, hey, Jelly. How's it going, Tiger?

Jelly: Well, I got more problems than a three-legged puppy on a tightrope.

Mr. Coach: That's so specific.

Jelly: What's that?

Mr. Coach: Oh, nothing. What can I help you with?

Jelly: Well, don't be mad, but I'm really behind on my book report.

Mr. Coach: Oh, that's okay. That's what I'm here for. How can I help?

Jelly: Okay, I was gonna start like this. Are you ready, Coach?

Mr. Coach: Yep.

Jelly: "Hello, My name is Jelly."

Mr. Coach: Is... is that it?

Jelly: Yeah, that's it! Not a bad start, though, don't you think?

Mr. Coach: Yeah, it is always important to write your name at the top of your paper. So, let me help you with some basic questions. Is your book fiction or non-fiction?

Jelly: Do what now?

Mr. Coach: Is it true or not true?

Jelly: True!

Mr. Coach: Okay, great. Maybe you can try and find out how you know that it's true.

Jelly: True! Writing this down, noting the convo.

Mr. Coach: And maybe you could find some information on the writer or talk about things that you liked about the book.

Jelly: Okay, great stuff! Loving it! Lov-in' it!

Mr. Coach: Jelly, I'm sorry I have another call coming in. I'm gonna have to let you go. Um, but that should be enough to get you started for right now.

Jelly: Thanks for your help, Mr. Coach Teacher, Sir!

Mr. Coach: Okay, bye, Jelly.

Jelly: Alright, making progress, making progress!

[Snoring]

Mr. Coach: Good morning, class! Are we all ready for Ella's report?

Students: Yes! Yes! Yes!

Mr. Coach: Okay, Ella. Ready when you are.

Ella: Hi, I'm Ella, and the book that I chose is called Uncle Jamie and Aunt Kayleen's Marvellously Fantastical Super Sweet Zoo Day. The two main characters take the reader along with them as they explore the zoo. What I really liked about the book is all the funny situations they get placed in and the interesting animal facts. Like here, on page 6 it says, the capybara is often called the waterpig because it's a really good swimmer. The book reads more like a poem because it's, um. Rhymes and stuff.

Mr. Coach: Okay, great job! Does anybody have any questions for Ella?

Joel: Are there any bugs in the book?

Ella: Yes! I learned that the praying mantis only has one ear and it's located on its belly.

Mr. Coach: Hah. Ear bellies. Let's give Ella a round of applause. Okay, and Jelly, you're up, Sport.

Jelly: Can I get a hall pass?

Mr. Coach: All right, Champ. How about I give you that pass after you finish your report?

Jelly: Oh, Billy boy, here goes nothing. Go-go gadget arms! The title of my book report is The Bible. God's super-amazing words to all mankind! (-kind! -kind.) Nothing? No response? Well, I thought it was a pretty good title.

James: The whole Bible! My book only has nine pages.

Jelly: Well, there was this guy named Jesus. And uh, ooh! This just isn't any book. Did you know that there are 66 books in 1 book? Did you know that? Did you? No? Uh, and oh, did you know that God actually wrote the whole book? Well, He didn't have like an iPad or whatever. He had a bunch of other fellows do it for Him, but He, He, He was the brains behind the operation. Yeah, yeah. And um, uh, I lost my spot...

Mr. Coach: That's all right, Chief. Does anybody have any questions for Jelly while he finds his spot in his notes? All right, young lady.

HannahBeth: What makes it different from other books?

Jelly: I got it here somewhere written down.

Calvin: Is it even possible to read the whole Bible?

Jelly: Uh—

Harry: How's it God's word if men wrote it?

Edie: I think God wrote it.

Jelly: No, no, no. Actually, God inspired it. Because He, uh. He, He breathed on it.

Students: What?

Jelly: Yeah, yeah. And um, um, um...

Calvin: Why do we need the Bible to know God?
Jelly: Uh—

Ella: How did Moses write Genesis if he wasn't born yet?

Jelly: We're coming in hot now.

Lily: Does the Bible really tell us everything we need to know?

Jelly: Well, good question, yeah.

James: I like hot dogs.

Jelly: Waaaaaaaaaaaaait!

Otter: Hm?

Jelly: I would now like to move to the sequential image multimedia presentation part of my report. Brought to you in Technicolor. Chaz, cut the lights! Scotty, music please!

Jelly: (Yes, yes!)

Hi, my name is Jelly
and this is my report.
I know ya'll are busy,
so I'll try and keep this short.
It's on the Bible.
Yep! It's a real good book.
And if you haven't read it,
I suggest you take a look.

Sixty-six books from cover to cover.
And if you can't read,
I suggest you ask your mother.
Let's break it down to the very start.
There's the Old Tesetament
and then there's the new part

Why was it written?

So we can learn and grow!
And if we truly live it
our fruits will show.
Here's one thing that I admire:
Forty men wrote it,
But it's all God-inspired!

How long did it take?

Fifteen hundred years.
Spoiler alert!
It ends with no more tears.

So, what's the book about?

Here's a list that I can tout.
It took me a minute
just to write it all out.
There's wisdom, destruction,
correction, instruction.
And if we listen to it,
He shows us how to love Him.

Excuse me a second.
Pardon the interruption.
Start one more time.
Elaborate on this discussion.

Hi, my name is Jelly
and this is my report.
I know ya'll are busy,
so I'll try and keep this short.
It's on the Bible.
Yep! It's a real good book.
And if you haven't read it,
I suggest you take a look.

So, how is it structured?

First off, there's the Pentateuch,
when Moses spoke the laws
to the folks in the old book.
Next are historic,
poetic, prophetic.
The last three,
they wrap up
the books in
the Old T

With good kings
and bad kings
and good queens
and bad dreams
and righteous men and women
who all end up on God's team!

What about the new T?

Well, that's my favorite part.
It's where Jesus comes 
to offer us a fresh start.
There's Matthew and Mark
and Luke and John
They wrote down the miracles
that Christ performed

So, what's that in red?

The words of Jesus Christ.
He wants you in His family
so listen up, alright?

What else is there left?

Acts, Epistles of Paul,
Hebrews, James, Peter, John, Jude
And that's not quite all!

So, how does it end?

It tells us our destiny
to be sons and daughters
in the Kingdom for eternity.

Eternity?

Exactly!

The Bible's a map for me!

Revelation, culmination of His plan
playing out, you see?

So, what's that a picture of?

Oops! That's a 'possum

Opossum?

A 'possum!
Yeah, I think they're super awesome

Even though the book's from long ago
it's relevant for us to know
I rise and read it every day.
I love what my God has to say!

Hi, my name is Jelly
and that was my report.
I hope that you liked it,
was a lot for me to sort.
The Bible!
Yep! It's a real good book
And if you haven't read it,
I suggest you take a look.

Students: Woooooooo! Jelly! Jelly! Jelly! Jelly! Jelly!

Jelly: Repeat after me! When I say go, you say, Otters! Go!

Students: Otters!

Jelly: Go!

Students: Otters!

Jelly: When I say go, you say, wait, wait, um... I need to go to the bathroom!

Students: Wait! Um, I need to go to the bathroom!

Jelly: No, no! This isn't part of the pep rally!

Students: No, no! This isn't part of the pep rally!

Jelly: Seriously, I need that hall pass!

Students: Seriously, I need a hall pass!

Jelly: Aaaaaa!

Students: Aaaaa—

Lily: Aaa! Oh wait!