Follow Me: Landing with Gentleness

We live in a time when self-expression and bluntness are celebrated at the expense of kindness and the consideration of others.

Harsh and crude language coupled with overbearing attitudes are increasingly invasive and designed to be verbally and mentally disruptive. Such lack of civility fueled by emotional immaturity is increasingly played out by all ages in many venues, be they at home, school, the public square or social media outlets.  

This trajectory in human interaction is rapidly diminishing thoughtfulness toward others’ spaces, and the boundaries of civility are being purposefully trespassed.  

Is it any wonder? Scripture warns that “men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy” (2 Timothy 3:1-2).

Consider our own interactions with others on a daily basis. In doing so, allow me to use the analogy from air travel of takeoffs and landings. As we arrive at our destination we might say, “Now that was a soft landing” and perhaps compliment the pilot as we exit. But soft landings don’t just happen! It takes training, awareness and practice.  

Of course, not every landing is so smooth. Some leave us shaken, questioning if we ever want to fly on a particular airline, or at all.

Throughout our day, we may “land” in someone’s life in small, gentle ways—being friendly, holding the door for someone, expressing gratitude for even the most mundane things. Or perhaps we crash-land, grumpily pushing our way through crowds, impatiently waiting in line, complaining all the while. As quickly as we’ve entered someone’s day, we turn around and take off, often never to see them again.

The big question is: How do you and I personally touch down into and exit the lives of others? Did we crash into their day and shuffle on or land with gentleness, showing genuine care?

Becoming spiritually authentic                

There has never been anyone more noted for such perfect landings and takeoffs in others’ lives than Jesus of Nazareth. He personally welcomes interactive occasions with people. That was true during His time on earth and it remains so today as He sits at the right hand of God the Father in heaven.  

Jesus’ invitation is laid out in Matthew 11:28-29:

“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls” (emphasis added throughout).  

These are the words of the One who was the most authentic person, inside and out, ever born of woman. As disciples of Jesus Christ, how do we heed this gentle One’s call of “Follow Me” (Mark 8:34) and incorporate and display the beautiful quality of gentleness in the rough-and-tumble world around us?

And let’s not confuse gentleness with softness. A “soft touch” concerns a person who is easily imposed on or taken advantage of, whereas a gentle touch involves someone caring for others with forethought, love and control toward a mutually productive experience for both parties.  

In Scripture, gentleness involves strength under control, a willing submission to God and thoughtful consideration for others. It isn’t driven by self but empowered by God through His Holy Spirit.

So where do we go from here in becoming an authentic disciple of Jesus Christ? Let’s consider four keys that will help us exercise the spiritual muscle of gentleness.  

Key 1: God says to pursue gentleness

Let’s begin by asking why? Scripture declares in 1 Timothy 6:11: “But you, O man of God, flee these things [wrong thoughts and behaviors] and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, gentleness.”

Notice the powerful intensity of the verb pursue. It means to lean forward, to go for it and give it your all as you draw upon the power and wisdom of God’s Spirit to actively nurture the development of His Spirit planted in you, so as to bear fruit in your life and that of others. One fruit developed is that of gentleness (Galatians 5:22-23).

Just as a pilot doesn’t become accomplished at smooth landings through wishful thinking, gentleness doesn’t just happen. Gentleness is planted in the soil of humility, which enables us to knock on the doors of people’s hearts before we burst into their lives full throttle.

As the apostle Paul wrote: “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself . . . Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 2:3, 5).

I liken encounters with people to a successful celebratory toast. If two parties crash their cups together, their drinks will spill on one another, and their glasses may actually shatter. Nobody wins. But if both parties initiate a gentle clink, there’s unity, there’s peace, and no one’s garments are left with stains. Everybody can truly celebrate the toast.

Pursuing gentleness may start right at home with our spouse and children, and extend to neighbors, coworkers, friends and strangers.  

Remember, our personal pursuit of gentleness is marked by our entrances and exits in other people’s lives, and we can offer a touch of gentleness even if it is unreciprocated.

Key 2: Gentleness allows others to grow

Paul spotlights the lasting effects of gentleness on others when sharing his personal approach to the Thessalonians. He said there were some approaches that might have been chosen that were well within his prerogative, but he reminded them of the rewarding approach of gentleness:  

“We were gentle among you, just as a nursing mother cherishes her own children. So, affectionately longing for you, we were well pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God, but also our own lives, because you had become dear to us” (1 Thessalonians 2:7-8).

One of the greatest tests of gentleness comes when we are met with conflict or a need to correct a fellow believer. Scripture instructs us to restore others “in a spirit of gentleness” (Galatians 6:1). Gentleness doesn’t avoid difficult conversations, but it delivers truth in such a way that it seeks restoration and not the humiliation that often results when harshness is used.

We can know the gospel--what it says and what it means—but the loudest and most memorable message given is practicing what we know or preach. That is the full measure of authenticity!

Have you ever considered how God finally got the attention of the prophet Elijah after he fled into a cave at Mount Sinai? God utilized several natural wake-up calls—wind, earthquake, fire—to grab the attention of His despondent servant. But God finally got through to help him serve another day when He used a “still small voice” (1 Kings 19:8-13).  

How many hearts are ever truly changed by brute force or harsh words? Proverbs 15:4 uses beautiful imagery to portray the capacity our words have for either promote growth or destruction:

“Gentle words are a tree of life; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit” (New Living Translation).

Key 3: Gentleness is a mark of wisdom  

What is your I.Q.? Sorry to be so personal, but it’s necessary to make a point. Not your intelligence quotient, but rather your identity quotient. How you measure up as a disciple of Christ in daily response to His invitation of “Follow Me.” This is the true measure of authenticity in a world that seeks the inauthentic disguised as the real thing.  

Join me in reading the words of James 3:17-18: “But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness” (NLT).

Key 4: Spiritual growth does not occur in a vacuum

Applying a gentle touch without favoritism and coupled with sincerity toward all people who come our way in a given day is a tall order.  

This isn’t accomplished with wishful thinking but by God’s powerful Holy Spirit. Yet we still have to take action. There are people all around us waiting for God’s gentle touch through you.

A rifleman doesn’t hit the target by the sequence fire, ready, aim, but by first being ready, then aiming, and ultimately firing. God’s Spirit equips us with readiness to extend gentleness to others. Only when we are ready can we aim and effectively direct that gentleness to people around us. Then bang! If we’ve properly yielded to God’s Spirit, we fire away and hit the target or goal of true gentleness!

As we embrace the reality that Christianity is not merely a theory but a steady and unwavering practice of following the lead of Jesus Christ, who is “the way, the truth, and the life” (John 14:6), we experience spiritual growth—not out of thin air but by the grace of God!

For such a time as now

It has been said that actors are known by their entrances and exits—that's what people remember. Of course, we are not acting. Rather, we are imitating Jesus Christ, becoming genuine and authentic in Him.

Be fully advised: We are like pilots landing and taking off, in and out of people’s lives every day we interact with them. So buckle up! And prepare to apply the gentle touch of Christ to others as you land in their lives. For who knows whether you have come into someone’s life in a Christ-like manner to be a seed of godly calling for them?  

Perhaps the gentle exchange you have with an individual today is that seed God will use to draw them to Christ. In the words of Esther 4:14, maybe God has placed you in their lives “for such a time as this.”