When a Blessing Becomes a Curse: The True Cost of Sexual Immorality

To most, sexual freedom means doing whatever you want with your body, whenever you want and with whomever you please. The Bible actually promotes the concept of sexual freedom, but defines it much, much differently.

Real sexual freedom isn’t about sleeping with multiple partners at will or fulfilling lusts at the drop of a hat. Real sexual freedom means having freedom from guilt, fear or shame. This sort of freedom can only be obtained within a biblically defined marriage.  

Sex outside of that union is defined as sexual immorality in the Bible. To better understand this freedom and what sexual immorality is, let’s begin with how God defines marriage.  

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed” (Genesis 2:24-25). Note right away that there was no shame in this union, nor in seeing one another unclothed. This definition of marriage was affirmed by Jesus Christ in Mark 10:7-9.

At this point, some might say, “Those are outdated customs, from an outdated source.” But the Bible is always relevant. It addresses the corruption of human nature that still confronts us. Note what Jesus said in Mark 7:21-23: “For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lewdness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within and defile a man.”  

Jesus includes two types of sexual immorality—adultery and fornication—in what He refers to as “evil things.” Adultery is when a married person has sex with someone other than his or her spouse—explicitly forbidden in the Seventh Commandment (Exodus 20:14). The punishment for adultery was death for both parties (Leviticus 20:10).  When a woman caught in the act of adultery was brought before Jesus in John 8:2-11, her accusers were ready to put her to death. While Jesus’ words caused them to disperse, He told her to “go and sin no more.”

The Greek word translated “fornication” is a broader term for sexual immorality in general. That includes sex between two unmarried people. When premarital sex did occur, the biblical judgment was for the man and woman to be married—if the father would accept that: “If a man seduces a virgin who is not engaged to anyone and has sex with her, he must pay the customary bride price and marry her. But if her father refuses to let him marry her, the man must still pay him an amount equal to the bride price of a virgin” (Exodus 22:16-17, New Living Translation).

Premarital sex is also against the spirit of the law against adultery, as it violates covenant with God and any future marriage relationship.

God’s view of sex

With such seemingly strict rules around sex, it might seem God takes a dim view of the subject. Not so.

In Genesis 4:1 we read, “Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain, and said, ‘I have acquired a man from the Lord.’” The result of Adam having sex with his wife, Eve, was viewed as a blessing.

After the Flood, God gave His blessing on the sexual reproduction of those He spared at that time: “So God blessed Noah and his sons, and said to them: ‘Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth’” (Genesis 9:1). The Bible repeatedly refers to children as a blessing from God (compare Psalm 127:3-5; Proverbs 17:6; Matthew 19:14).

Aside from procreation, the Bible describes sexual intimacy as a beautiful and pleasurable thing. While the language of the day differs from ours, the sentiment of romance between a man and woman remains the same, as we see in this passage: “Your love delights me, my treasure, my bride. Your love is better than wine, your perfume more fragrant than spices. Your lips are as sweet as nectar, my bride. Honey and milk are under your tongue. Your clothes are scented like the cedars of Lebanon” (Song of Solomon 4:10-11, NLT).

A few chapters later, we read this description of physical attraction: “Oh, how beautiful you are! How pleasing, my love, how full of delights! You are slender like a palm tree, and your breasts are like its clusters of fruit” (Song of Solomon 7:6-7, NLT).

God’s Word describes sex as a wonderful blessing. If God takes a prudish or dim view of sex, you certainly couldn’t prove it from the Bible!

Sex, while intended to be pleasurable, is often misused, creating serious consequences. Aside from sexually transmitted disease or unplanned pregnancy, the emotional toll is high.

“For the lips of an immoral woman drip honey, and her mouth is smoother than oil; but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword” (Proverbs 5:3-4). While the momentary pleasure is tempting, the long-lasting feelings afterward can be quite painful.

In addition, illicit affairs can ruin a good reputation: “Remove your way far from her, and do not go near the door of her house, lest you give your honor to others, and your years to the cruel one” (verses 8-9).

These consequences are summed up in Proverbs 6:32 as: “Whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks understanding; he who does so destroys his own soul.”

True sexual freedom

It’s no wonder, then, that Paul gave this stark warning: “Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body” (1 Corinthians 6:18).

Understanding the biblical definition of marriage and that sex is something God blesses within that union, we can better understand why sexual immorality is such a problem.  

The ultimate problem, though, isn’t with the guilt, shame or undesirable consequences that can occur from sexual sins. This section of Scripture continues, “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, which you have from God, and that you are not your own?” (verse 19, New Revised Standard Version. Further: “For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s” (verse 20). The real issue is that if we commit sexually immoral acts, we are dishonoring God by making filthy the temple He has made clean.

This concept is further reinforced in 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5: “For this is the will of God, your sanctification [or being set apart as holy]: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God.” We’re reminded here that sexual immorality is a product of lust rather than love.

Continuing in verses 7-8: “For God did not call us to uncleanness, but in holiness. Therefore, he who rejects this does not reject man, but God, who has also given us His Holy Spirit.” Sexual immorality doesn’t just dishonor God, it is an outright rejection of Him and His Spirit.

Sexual freedom is what God intended for both man and woman. This occurs within the God-ordained union of marriage and provides not just physical pleasure, but freedom from guilt, shame and, most importantly, sin. It’s no wonder, then, that we are told in Hebrews 13:4,  “Let marriage be held in honor by all, and let the marriage bed be kept undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers" (NRSV).

Whether it be an adulterous affair, casual sex or other forms of sexual immorality, those who enjoy sexual freedom on their own terms will face consequences. Some may be serious and visible to others, such as unplanned pregnancy or legal trouble. Others, such as the feelings of hurt, guilt and shame, while less tangible, are no less powerful.  

While recovering from a past mistake can prove challenging on the physical level, it’s important to remember that God is ready to forgive upon repentance. Receive His forgiveness and in the words of Jesus, “go and sin no more.”

Avoid future pain and suffering of sexual immorality by enjoying sexual freedom in the way it was designed by a loving God for His creation.