Adultery

From the Newsr web feed, you can go to www.newsr.com. Look up stories if you want. This one appeared September 18, 2012. It's the last September. It says the commander of a nuclear submarine tried to concoct an ingenious plan to get himself out of a jam. But the hunt read October. This is not. The Navy says that commander, and there's no need to read his name, tried to end an affair by sending a fake email from a guy named Bob to his mistress informing her that he had been killed, according to the AP story.

The airtight plan began to unravel when the mistress showed up at his residence as a friend to offer her condolences. It makes me think of a scripture back in Numbers 32, verse 23, that your son will find you out. Continuing, as a result, the Navy has relieved this submarine commander from being commanding officer of the USS Pittsburgh, a position that he held for all of a week.

He also might be booted from the Navy on a slew of related military violations. The unidentified mistress tells Connecticut newspaper The Day that the Married with Children ward sent the fake email after she had informed him that she was pregnant. She told the paper, I don't want revenge. I want everyone to know the truth about him. And he certainly does not need to be commanding a submarine for our country. He is very deceitful. What do the following names have in common?

Newt Gingrich, Tiger Woods, Bill Clinton, Charlie Sheen, General David Petraeus. All well-known names, former president, former chairman of the Joint Chiefs, current golfer, one of the best of the best, and others. But certainly one common thread of those names is that they were caught in adultery. So the answer is adultery, infidelity, unfaithfulness, or we could use a really nasty word, sin. They were caught in sin.

Sin always destroys everything it touches. I have an unpleasant topic to discuss today. But you know, the Almighty God is the one who etched into tablets of stone the words that say, You shall not commit adultery. We talk about lust. We talk about stealing. We talk about adultery. So we do have to talk about adultery. The title of this sermon is, Adultery, The Price and the Prevention. And amazingly, or it may seem ironic, that our basic text is going to come from Proverbs 5.

And we know who wrote the book of Proverbs. His name was Solomon. And he was an individual who, well, we read in one place, he had a thousand women in his life. And I'm not a prophet, but it seems like someone could have foretold a lot of grief and pain and suffering and heartache and expense. So maybe God's using him because he learned the hard way.

He learned by means of experience, which can be a very cruel, but a very thorough teacher. It is only a matter of time until each one of us probably will hear of someone from our neighborhood, our city, our work, our family who's caught in adultery. And many times, we will have thought that that person was as devoted to their spouse as anyone we know.

And then we find out, no, they weren't. And sadly, tragically, at times, we're going to know of it, hear of it, in the church of God. And even more tragically, there are times we're going to hear, and it's a minister, or a church elder, or a deacon, or a local pillar in a congregation.

And it becomes known that this man or this woman, this pillar, was living two lives. And yes, your sin will find you out. And when we react at that time, we want to beat our head against the wall and say, well, what in the world were they thinking? And yet, when people ask them, a friend asks them, how did you get yourself a mess? Far too many times, the answer is just, well, it just happened. Just happened?

You might wonder, how could they do such a thing to a spouse and children? How could they turn their back on their Savior who gave His life, that they could have eternity ahead of them? How could they have forgotten the horrible consequences of adultery? Adultery, the price and the prevention. Let's turn over to, you may already be, at Proverbs 5. And we will read the first, let's start with the first six verses, where Solomon addresses or gives a warning where he describes the bitter end of adultery. Now, I have placed into my notes texts from the Amplified Bible.

And sometimes I'll use the New King James, and sometimes I'll shift over and read the Amplified, because I think it's safe to do so. I normally avoid paraphrases, but I think it's safe to do so in the Proverbs, or in places where it's just telling stories of Israel or different men and women of God. Verse 1, Amplified, verse 1, My son, be attentive to my godly wisdom, learned by actual and costly experience.

Solomon probably is the one who was best suited to write on some of the topics that he addressed in the book of Proverbs. Continuing, and incline your ear to my understanding of what is becoming and prudent for you, that you may exercise proper discrimination and discretion, and your lips may guard and keep knowledge and the wise answer to temptation. Verse 3, For the lips of the loose woman. And let's pause right there. We realize many areas of the Bible give the impression that it's weighted against women.

But these cut both ways. It might be the smooth talk of the loose man, just as easily as it says here, the lips of the loose woman. Drip honey as a honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil. Well, the world is full of men who will say whatever they can to get whatever they want.

But in the end, she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged and devouring sword. Her feet go down to death. Her steps take hold of sheol, the place of the dead sheol, the Hebrew word for the grave, the pit. She loses sight of and walks not in the path of life. Her ways wind about aimlessly, and you cannot know them. I did a search online for some statistics about divorce in America. This comes from www.divorcedatistics.info. They had a number of papers, as far as research. The one that I clicked on was called the latest infidelity statistics of the USA. It says, with the divorce rate in the United States getting higher every year, so is the cheating and infidelity in relationships.

Also, it has been found that the infidelity rate has increased dramatically within the last 25 years in the United States. It goes on to define infidelity as the act of cheating on a spouse or committed relationship partner. Well, I wouldn't add that last phrase, because marriage is marriage is marriage. It was defined in Genesis 2 by the Almighty. A man shall take his wife. They, too, become one. We live in a society that wants to place these monikers or these descriptors in front of the word marriage.

But Almighty God defined marriage, and it's just simply wrong to say the so-called same-sex marriage. That is not marriage. On the second page, there are some statistics, just a few random ones let me mention. Surveys show that 22% of married men have committed an adulterous act at least once in their life, their married life. Somehow, I can't help but suspect that's shooting pretty low. 14% of married women have had affairs at least once during their married lives. Again, I just have the sense that these figures are lower than reality.

Down a few more bullets here, it says 90% of Americans believe it is morally wrong to commit adultery, but only 61% would like to see it punished like any other crime.

Most states of the Union have laws against adultery. We know they aren't enforced. 90% in this country say it's wrong to commit adultery, but not quite two-thirds. 61% say, you know, somebody caught, somebody committing adultery ought to be... I mean, why aren't charges brought up against someone doing that? Another one, in the United States, 17% of all divorces that occur are due to adultery on the part of either or both. Not surprisingly, it says men are more likely than women to have a sexual affair, regardless of whether or not they are married or unmarried. That speaks to the difference in the way that God created us. Men, as we know, are visually excited. Men are. And it's everywhere in the world around us.

You can drive down the freeway, and here's a billboard, and it's right there in your face. You can pull up the website, you can turn on a television, and it seems you can't get away from it. Now, let me go to the conclusion of this, just a couple of sentences here. To conclude, a close analysis of infidelity and its growth pattern clearly indicates that close to half of all married men and women are, or have been involved, in extramarital affairs.

And then it says, there is something missing in their relationships that compel them to look elsewhere for what they need. And I think that's very insightful. I'll come back to that a little later. Let's go on with what Solomon says, and this is where we shift into the part of the sermon that we call the price, the price of adultery. Because in the next verses in Proverbs 5, Solomon essentially addresses four different areas of your life that will be wrecked. And then it has to do with your wealth.

That has to do with your physical health. It has to do with your mental health. And it has to do with your reputation. All four of these are a shop of pieces. Solomon, once again, in this time, let's read verses 7 and 8. Again, the amplified. Verse 7, Now therefore, my sons, and we can say, my daughters, listen to me and depart not from the words of my mouth.

Let your life, or let your way in life be far from her, and come not near the door of her house. Avoid the scenes of temptation, the amplified says. And again, we'll come back to this at the end, because that's one of the great lessons that we need to be reminded of. That we must turn every day, turn our eyes from temptation.

And I say that especially to we men, turn eyes from temptation. And here, it says in the amplified, avoid the very scenes of temptation. And we'll come back to that as well later, because we don't even want to be in a position where we give an appearance for accusation. Verse 9, the first half, lest you give your honor to others. Now think about that. Lest you give your honor to others. And in one sense, you could say your honor is everything you are, everything you have. House, car, savings accounts, iris, the whole nine yards.

You run the risk of giving it away. Let's skip down to verse 10. Lest aliens be filled with your wealth and your labors go to the house of a foreigner. The costs of litigation when it goes to court. Depending on what the judge says that your life is laid out before, there may be the cost of alimony. If there are minors in the home, you know, we're certainly involved. Somebody paying lots of child support.

When a couple is headed in that direction and a dreaded D word is used for divorce, and they begin to lawyer up, you have retainers that start at around 3,000 and go up. Lawyer's working on your case, digging in. Big Brother's watching this more than we realize. You have all kinds of records. We all have all kinds of records. The emails are sequestered. Sequestered. That's not the right word. Anyhow, you know what I mean. I've heard that in the news. Some are subpoenaed. Thank you. I've heard sequestered somewhere in the news. You can have tweets, whatever that is, I don't even want to know.

Don't tell me. You can have all kinds of records that's... I mean, you have legal firms that you pay to chase down everything you can find on that spouse. And that lawyer is reckoning his or her time at $250, $300 and more dollars every hour. And when that retainer you laid down is used up, they're going to tell you, you've got to ante up with some more bucks or we aren't going to work anymore. So you can turn around with the divorces, the cheap ones, maybe $10,000, and then there are the other ones.

You can pass $50,000. And no wonder Solomon wrote that others will be filled with your wealth. So that's the first landmine as far as the price. The second landmine you'll be stepping on has to do with your physical health because it eats you from within, your physical health. Let's go back to verse 9, the latter half. He says, and your years to the cruel one. Verse 11, and you mourn at last when your flesh and your body are consumed.

And what are these talking about? They seem to have to do with the physical health, your years to the cruel one. Let's face it, there are people who through choices, you know, our decisions determine our destiny. And there are choices that have been made, become very costly, and eats up, erodes what they may have accrued.

And they don't have any retirement fund anymore. And they don't have any nice house anymore. And they're living on a fixed income. And maybe they'll go try to find whatever job they can, because their reputation has been shot to pieces too.

Go find something somewhere to get a little more income into the house. And anyhow, and then verse 11, your flesh and your body are consumed. The amplified version there says, you've grown and mourn when your incomes, when your flesh and body are consumed. And you know, that speaks to the unpleasant reality of immorality. I discussed some of those things before. A sermon some time back that I gave in the beginning was sex. And it's not rocket science. People do figure it out. But when it's done outside of the law of God, it brings all kinds of defects that are unpleasant.

There are diseases. Some are bacterial. And there's a hope of an antibiotic knocking them out. And there are others that are viral. And when a person has it, they have it. And some of those diseases can fulfill that phrase where your flesh and your body are consumed. A third landmine is your mental health.

Really, the spiritual health, I think, kind of fits into this one, too. Your mental health. You're going to be wrecked. You'll be filled with self-recrimination. Now, as I discuss this topic, I'm not casting stones at anyone. There's not one of us in this room who can cast stones. You've sinned. I've sinned. Just probably different types of mistakes. It's a matter, though, that God forgives us. God removes sin as far as the East is from the West. But you know, all consequences are not created equally. Some of them just don't go away, ever, the rest of life.

And one of the things is what it does in your mind. You will always remember certain mistakes that may have led down the path that led to wrecking a marriage and family. You will always remember, if you were the guilty party, I did it. I can't blame it on anybody else. That's one of the fruits, manifestations of a converted mind, is to realize I'm responsible for my actions. I can't play these games of blaming on everyone else anymore. And again, with a marriage we have two people involved. I know that. Verse 12, amplified, verse 12, And you say, how I hated instruction and discipline, and my heart despised reproofed.

I have not obeyed the voice of my teachers, nor submitted and consented to those who instructed me. And Solomon here speaks of the fact that you still remember that there were those who tried to teach me, tried to warn me, tried to tell me differently. My parents, my family, my friends, true friends, my teachers, my brethren, my ministers, tried to tell me I didn't listen.

And that has a way of haunting a person for a long, long time. Let's keep our place in Proverbs, but let's go to Malachi 2. Malachi 2. And let us read verse 16. Verse 16. Again, I'll read it from the Amplified. For the Lord, the God of Israel, says, I hate divorce and marital separation, and him who covers his garment, and Amplified says, his wife with violence. Therefore, keep a watch upon your spirit, that it may be controlled by my spirit, that you deal not treacherously and faithlessly with your marriage mate.

We all have a conscience, especially with the calling of God, but we probably had families teaching us from the earliest age what was right and wrong. And there are patterns of thinking that are reinforced, and we have consequences when we make mistakes, and we have blessings when we do things that are within the realm of God's law. And we have this conscience that is then reinforced throughout life, and then enhanced even more so with the spirit of God.

And when we go contrary to that, Solomon said, if I just obey the word of my teachers and those who instructed me, and when we go against that, it has a way of haunting us. The conscience will eat away at your peace of mind, that's the landmine that we can step on. And then the fourth item, as far as the price of adultery, the fourth item that Solomon addresses is your reputation. You can step on that landmine and destroy your reputation within your family, within your church, within your place of work, your community, your neighborhood.

Proverbs 5, once again, Proverbs 5, verse 14, this time, can cost our reputation as is implied by these words. I was on the verge of total ruin in the midst of the assembly and congregation. Amplified, the extent and boldness of my sin involved almost all evil in the estimation of the congregation and community. Let's go to Proverbs 6, and we'll read verses 27 through 35.

Verse 27, amplified, Can a man take fire in his bosom and his clothes not be burned? That's common sense. In winter, you may have a fire burning. Can you take a shovel? Can you take tongs? Can you reach over, take a coal? Drop it into your lap. You're going to be burned. Your clothes are going to catch on fire, and you're going to move.

28. Can one go upon hot coals and his feet not be burned? Again, these are common sense. 29. So he who cohabits with his neighbor's wife will be tortured with evil consequences and just retribution. He who touches her shall not be innocent or go unpunished. 30. Men do not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy himself when he is hungry. But if he is found out, he must restore seven times what he stole. He must give the whole substance of his house if necessary to meet his fine. 32. But whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks heart and understanding. He lacks moral principle and prudence. He who does it is destroying his own life. 33. Wounds and disgrace he will get, and his reproach will not be wiped away. 34. For jealousy makes the wronged man furious. Therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance upon the guilty one. 35. He will not consider any ransom, any offer to buy him off from demanding full punishment. 36. Neither will he be satisfied, though you offer him many gifts and bribes. Reputations are easily destroyed. Can a person think of the realm of a family? Think of the realm of a congregation?

In place of work? Workplace! You have the company executives, and there is an advancement that needs to be filled. You look at one individual who has obviously a stable, faithful marriage and home. And you have one who is known to be otherwise. Which one would you trust the most? If all other factors were the same, which one would you trust the most? Can a person be trusted? That gets to be the tough area. Can a person be trusted after being unfaithful? Trust technically can be rebuilt over a long period of time. But I would add this thought, if you're given the chance. Because that offended spouse might not be willing to do that.

I respect and applaud those who are willing to try. And many times with God's help, they do. But we start taking steps, and we step on some landmines, and the old saying goes, We can't unring that bell, and we can't roll the tape of life back and erase and change certain things. Unfaithfulness can eat away at the reputation. So, four landmines. Your wealth, physical health, mental health, reputation. A brief period of time of a cheap thrill turns out to be anything but cheap.

I remember a story I heard Trent Lott interviewed. This is back a number of years ago. He was a Senate leader. We had a president who was caught in behavior with, frankly, someone about a year older than his own daughter, an intern. And Mr. Lott made the statement that if I were to be guilty of something like that, my last conscious thought would be, if I lie on my kitchen floor in a growing pool of my own blood, I would hear my wife say, How do I reload this thing? It's good to know where you stand, isn't it? We will again come back to Proverbs, but let's go to 1 Corinthians 6. 1 Corinthians 6. And let's begin in verse 9. Again, I will read this from the Amplified. Verse 9, Do you not know that the unrighteous and the wrongdoers will not inherit or have any share in the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived or misled, neither the impure or immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor those who participate in homosexuality, nor cheats, swindlers, and thieves, nor greedy graspers, nor drunkards, nor foul-mouthed revilers and slanderers, nor extortioners and robbers will inherit or have any share in the kingdom of God?

But, you know, thankfully, He didn't stop right there. We have to add verse 11. And such some of you were once. But you were washed clean, purified, and the complete atonement for sin, and made free from the guilt of sin, and you were consecrated, set apart, hallowed, and you were justified, pronounced righteous by trusting in the name of the Lord Jesus and in the power of the Holy Spirit of God. Powerful words there, and it speaks to the heart of all of us, because, you see, we all have our own sins that we have committed, and we have gone to God and asked Him to wipe that slate clean. And He has removed those sins as far as the east is from the west. And we all will continue to make mistakes, and we will sin, and we go to God. As long as we keep going to God, He will be faithful. 1 John 1, verse 9, 10 tells us that He will forgive those sins. But in a relationship, the most intimate relationship of all, you hope the other person will give you a chance to rebuild trust and to give you time. These are the landmines. It is much better to take to heart the rest of what Solomon says in chapter 5 of Proverbs, because these verses speak to the prevention of adultery. And I hope we all take it to heart, because Satan the devil will try his dead-level best to try the door to our marriage. And if he finds the door slammed shut, the window locks soundly, do not think he will never come back and try those again. He will. And there are decisions we need to make every day. The things we can do every day. Pray for our spouse. Thank God for our spouse. Pray for our marriage. Ask God's help to keep your eyes in such a way that you are, well, as we'll read in a minute, ravished always with the love of your own spouse. Chapter 5 of Proverbs is picked up in verse 15, because in the next verses, the rest of this chapter, the prevention of adultery basically falls in two ways or two areas. And that is, love your own spouse above all people on earth. And secondly, love God and His law with all your heart. Be able to say, like David wrote, Oh, how love I thy law. It is my meditation all the day. Because if we are not doing that day by day, believe me, Satan is doing his job. He is broadcasting continually to us. And it's everywhere in this increasingly godless society. So love your spouse is where we begin. Verse 15, again, the Amplified, drink waters out of your own cistern, of a pure marriage relationship, and fresh running waters out of your own well. What are we talking about here? Well, we're not talking about water, cisterns, or wells. The subject matter has been that of the marriage state. And don't look elsewhere. Don't be seduced. And don't be looking somewhere else for green pastures, somewhere over the rainbow. Keep your eyes at home.

Should your offspring be dispersed abroad as water brooks in the streets?

Wouldn't it be interesting to know how many times a paternity test has been run, and there is someone out there who sowed some wild oats, I guess is the polite way to say it. And it comes back to haunting, because he finds he's a baby daddy.

And there's someone out there with his child, and DNA proved it, and somebody needs to pay for the last eight years. Wouldn't it be interesting to know how many times that happens in this world we live in? Verse 17, confine yourself your own wife, or husband. Let your children be for you alone, and not the children of strangers with you. There's another statistic that would be interesting. I don't know how it would ever be quantified. Wouldn't that be interesting to know how many families? You've got a couple rearing two, three, four, five children, and as far as is known, they're their children. Of course, in this example, it would mean the woman would have been unfaithful. How many men might be rearing somebody else's biological son or daughter, and they have no idea? Well, it's not worth pursuing to know, because you see, God's law works every time it's tried. And if we're striving with God's help to live by His law, we don't have to worry about those things. Don't have to give it a moment's thought. So, confine yourself to your own wife. Let your children be for you alone, and not the children of strangers with you. Let your thousand of human life be blessed with the rewards of fidelity, and rejoiced with the wife of your youth. Verse 19, Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant doe, or gentle, tender, and attractive to you. Let her bosom satisfy you at all times, and always be transported with delight in her love. I like the way the New King James has that last phrase, and always be enraptured with her love. The marginal note says that enraptured literally means intoxicated. I think the King James says, ravished always in her love.

To be completely filled to the brim with the love of your own spouse. That's not a new idea. Christ walked the earth, and he referred back to the beginning. A man takes his wife, they too become one.

And for those who try it, who would have ever thought it, but it happens to work. Keep your place here, but Ecclesiastes 9.

Ecclesiastes 9 verse 9, amplified version, Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life, which he has given you under the sun, all the days of futility. For that is your portion in this life, and in your work, which he toil under the sun, but live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life.

But you see, that understands that you love that spouse. And we'll come back to that a little later. Because you see, love is a choice. We choose. We take a vow. We stand there before a minister, a judge, whoever is officiating, and we give our word before witnesses. And most ceremonies somewhere in there will say, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, till death do we part. And when we're in the church and we marry, we say those things before God. Ephesians 5. We have places in the New Testament where both men and women are instructed. We are commanded to love our own spouse.

Ephesians 5, I think it's always best to begin reading up in verse 21, submitting to one another in the fear of God. And as we know, it says, wives submit. We'll skip that part.

Verse 25, husbands love your wives, just as Christ also loves the church and gave Himself for her. Verse 28, so husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

And this isn't the only place where the old married man Paul told men, love your wife. The old single man, I should have said. At one point he said, don't we have the power to have a wife like Peter and others? Whether he had been married but was now single, or whether he had never been married, we don't have enough. The Bible doesn't exactly tell us. But Paul, it's interesting, he's used more than anybody else in the New Testament. Along with Christ, to tell us about marriage. So, husbands love your wives. Alright, let's go to Titus 2. Titus 2, and we will read verses 3 and 4. And this is addressed to the women of the church. And we find here that they need to be taught how to love their husbands. Because they're going to be married to a guy who isn't always going to act very lovable. And he isn't always going to act like a representative of Jesus Christ. And in fact, there are times he's going to be just as carnal as the doorknob to your house.

But he tells the older women, teach the younger ones, love your husband. Verse 3, the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, but not given the much wine, teachers of good things. And then the first good thing that he mentions is that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children. Pulled up the internet yesterday, and there was a picture of a young woman. The caption said something about... I think she had a baby and a toddler, but the caption said something about that she was saying she never wanted to be a mother. Awful. I hope she changes, and I hope those children never see that picture. But admonish the young women to love their husbands. We have a term that is used quite a bit in society in this topic, and it's emotional infidelity. Emotional infidelity. Because each of us, as a person, we have this emotional well. A child growing up in a family desperately needs that family to fill that void, that well. They need to be told they're loved. They need to be touched. They need to be hugged. They need to have eye contact. They need to have that well filled up. And then we become big people, and that doesn't go away. We still have that need. One of the greatest drives within a human being is, we want to know where we love. Do you love me? Do you appreciate me? Do you still love me?

Emotional infidelity. It's like what I read here with the divorce statistics. They concluded with a statement, there is something missing in their relationships that compel them to look elsewhere for what they need. And I believe there's a lot of truth to that, because if the emotional need is filled at home, there's no temptation to go look somewhere else. But if there's a void, you know, the statistics here also mention a surprisingly high number of extramarital affairs have their start at work, and a lot of times on a business trip. When the mice are away, I mean, the cat's away, and the mice are there. Because there's somebody else who will listen. There are a lot of smooth-talking men out there, and they'll listen a long time. And they'll say whatever you think that you need to hear could lead to getting what they want. You know that. We don't have to talk about that. And there are a lot of women out there as well who know how to turn it on for a man. Let's go back to Proverbs 5. The next verse is verse 20. Proverbs 5 verse 20. For why should you, my son, be enraptured by an immoral woman, and be embraced in the arms of a seductress?

Why should you, my daughter, be, as the Amplified says, infatuated with the loose man, and embrace the bosom of a stranger and go astray? Immorality says a lot about character.

It's like we always tell young people. They reach that point where the engine's revved up, and they're gunning that engine ready to pop the clutch. The hormones are raging. We've always told them, if he or she will do it with you, shouldn't you ask, how many others are they doing it with? And if you will do it with whoever, why would somebody you really like, when that person comes along, have any interest in you? Love of spouse. We're instructed. Now we're commanded to be enraptured in love for our own spouse. And we are told to teach others that. One of the great things we can do is to model that behavior for younger ones. And we realize love's a choice, and that's a choice that we have to make every day. And marital love is exclusive, and that's a commitment we make every day. And marriage is built on love, and on trust, and on fidelity. And if you break that down, you better hope to God you have a spouse who will allow you time to rebuild it. But Solomon wasn't through, because, you see, the prevention of adultery also involves loving the Lord your God with all your heart and soul, loving His law. As I said earlier, God's law works every time people try it. And every time we break that law, it has a way of coming around and breaking us. Back to Proverbs, chapter 5. And let's go ahead and read the rest, 21 through 23. Once again, the amplified. For the ways of man are directly before the eyes of the Lord.

That's a curious quirk of human nature. I've used the statement, I've heard the statement used, that a person's true character is what they do when they're alone. There's nobody there to put on a front before. There's no one to try to impress. But, you know, in reality, it's easy for humans to forget that God's eyes always are upon us. And He knows what we're doing. The ways of man are directly before the eyes of the Lord. And He, God, would have us live soberly, tastefully, and godly, carefully. And God carefully weighs all man's goings. His own iniquities shall ensnare the wicked man, and He should be held with the cords of His sin. Yes, sin as a way of binding us, putting shackles on us. He will die for lack of discipline and instruction, and in the greatness of His folly, He will go astray and be lost. So God sees all. Proverbs 15, verse 3. 15, verse 3.

The eyes of the Lord are in every place keeping watch on the evil and the good. Hebrews 13, verse 4. This too speaks of the marriage state. And this Scripture reminds us there is a judgment. If we break God's law, there is a judgment we must answer for. Hebrews 13, verse 4. Marriage is honorable among all in the bed undefiled. But fornicators, and that word denotes those being sexually active prior to marriage. But once a person is married, it's called adultery. Fornicators and adulterers, God will judge. And God knows the heart. I'd like you to turn with me back to Genesis 39. There's a story that is written here of a remarkable young man. A young man that had some pretty rough things happen to him in life. Hated of his brothers. Sold into slavery. You know the story of Joseph. He ends up as a piece of property. A man named Potiphar essentially purchases him. And this Hebrew is down in Egypt, the first of many to come. Joseph was given a lot of favor. He was obviously intelligent, talented, trustworthy. And Potiphar recognized that and placed him over everything that he owned. There's a whole household. But he had a problem. The problem was Mrs. Potiphar. Potiphar's wife had her eyes on Joseph. And it cost him dearly. But if you look at his example, you know, give us some marvelous points to remember. As we look at this topic and we ask, how can I affair proof by marriage? We can learn from Joseph. Genesis 39, let's begin. We're breaking in the story. And let's begin in verse 21.

Pardon me.

Back up to verse 7. Sorry. So, Joseph is in Egypt. He's bought by Potiphar, an officer of playroom, captain of the Guard. Verse 7, And it came to pass, after these things, that his master's wife cast longing eyes on Joseph. And she said, Lie with me. But he refused, and said to his master's wife, Look, my master does not know what is with me in the house, and he has committed all that he has to my hand. Verse 9, There is no one greater in this house than I, nor has he kept back anything from me but you, because you are his wife. How then can I do this great wickedness and sin against God? And so it was as she spoke to Joseph day by day. We live in a society. You better believe there are broadcasts of the adversary every day out there coming at us to see if something's going to stick. And he won't give up. Day by day, that he did not heed her to lie with her or to be with her. And that little phrase isn't an important one. To be with her. He recognized, I need away from this person. But it happened. Uh-oh. Verse 11. But it happened about this time when Joseph went into the house to do his work. And none of the men of the house was inside, that she caught him by his garment, saying, Lie with me. So it ratchets up even more the temptation. But he left his garment in her hand and fled and ran outside. And you know the story. She has evidence in the hand. She cries for others of the house. Verse 14. See, he has brought into us a Hebrew to mock us. He came in to me to lie with me. Joseph ends up in prison. And he had done nothing wrong. Now we go to verse 21. We see that God was there blessing his life throughout. Verse 21. But the Lord was with Joseph and showed him mercy. And he gave him favor in the sight of the keeper of the prison. And you know the rest of that story. And basically put the prison under Joseph's authority. What a remarkable man he obviously was. And it wasn't long until the events led to the fact that Pharaoh himself recognized this Hebrew. If we're going to survive these years of these lean years, I need this man. And you know he basically put everything under Joseph except Pharaoh himself. Chapter 41. Genesis 41, verse 50. God blessed him. The years of plenty came. The grain was gathered and stored. Verse 50. And to Joseph were born two sons. The time came when the daughter of Potipharah, priest of On, was given to Joseph's wife. To Joseph were born two sons before the years of famine came, whom Asenath, daughter of Potipharah, priest of On, brought to him. Joseph called the name of the firstborn Manasseh. Manasseh, meaning, making forgetful. For God has made me forget all my toil and all my father's house. The name of the second, he called Ephraim, meaning fruitfulness, before God has caused me to be fruitful in the land of my affliction. Now, with that story in mind, let's ask what can we learn from the example of Joseph? What a marvelous example. A young, single man who had incredible pressures laid upon him, and he came through with flying colors and with the richest blessings of God. What can we learn from Joseph? Number one, don't ever give in to pre- or extra-miracle sex.

Don't ever give in to pre-miracle or extra-miracle sex. And when I say sex, I hope you realize there's a process in leading to that point. I mean everything up the rungs of the ladder to getting to that point.

Joseph was having nothing of what Mrs. Potiphar was offering. The world has filled a lot of people who need to say no, just like he did. I want you to turn- or well, let me just refer. There's just one phrase here in 1 Timothy 4, verse 2. It's talking in verse 1 about doctrines of demons of that day and age. 1 Timothy 4, and in verse 2 it says, speaking lies in hypocrisy. Then it says, having their own conscience seared with a hot iron. And as I understand that, that's speaking to the burning out of an area of someone's character. It's destroyed. Let's- I'll just pick on alcohol again. Maybe there were genetic factors and maybe- a number of factors, but when a person has abused alcohol, they reach a point where they best just leave it out of their life.

Some can socially handle a little bit. Others don't need it at all. I've known members of the Body of Christ who, on the Pass overnight, they just touch their tongue. Eat a big meal beforehand, pray in fast, and when the cup comes by, touch their tongue. That's all it takes, just to get a little taste and fulfill Christ's command to drink from it, all of you.

There's an area of character destroyed. Now, in this area of life, the sexual side of life that the Almighty created within everyone, it is possible for a person to begin taking steps down that road. Across that line, the first action isn't the second time easier. Isn't the third time easier, but with premarital and then within marriage.

The world's full of societies, full of people, who begin taking steps in that direction, there's this line. Maybe it's, you just need somebody to listen to you, somebody to give you some love and attention. The world's full of people like that, but I wonder what is their motive, though. And there's this line, somewhere along those steps, you don't easily see that line, but you step over it. And then it happened and you were a married person. Isn't the second time you step over that line easier? And the third. And in the process, conscience may be an area of character burned out, seared with a hot iron.

Best, like Joseph, to say, I'm getting out of here. I'm going to get away from it. Now, thankfully, we have scriptures that tell us, and just please make a note of Jeremiah 33 verses 10 and 11. And I'm not going to turn there at this point, but Jeremiah 33 verses 10 and 11 is talking about a restored Israel in a millennial setting. And, you know, what was before, and then the contrast, the sound of joy and gladness, and the sound of the bridegroom and of the bride. Isn't it wonderful that the wave of the future is going to be a young couple of people who have been reared in God-fearing homes, who have been taught the right way, who keep themselves pure for that time when, after they say, I do, they find out the marvels of what God designed. What can we learn from Joseph? Number two, turn your eyes from temptation. Turn your eyes from temptation. Many times I've been told, often in a camp setting, but in local congregations, I've been told by people, why is the church so... why is the church talk so much about modesty? Well, for this very reason. You ladies who are married, you know men are visibly stimulated. A man's mind is off and running, if we're not careful. And when I was a kid, you know, there was always some yahoo who had a magazine, and he'd bring it to school and want to show it to everybody else, but, you know, it was a magazine. Oh, well. Hello, 21st century. As I said a while ago, you can drive down billboards, you can walk through the mall, and, as I've said before, Victoria has very few secrets. And you can go, you can pop up to get some news or find out what is the weather forecast today, and here's these ads on the side of what comes up from the internet. And, of course, it only takes a few clicks to go different places on the internet, and it's everywhere.

Turn your eyes from temptation, and I know this primarily is focused to the male types here in this audience. Look the other way. Proverbs 4, verse 23. And I have it here from the Jewish Tanakh translation. Proverbs 4, verse 23, it says, Another translation says, And then it says, Solomon said, Be ravished in love with your own spouse. Be very, very careful with where your eyes go beyond that.

What can we learn from Joseph? Number three, strive to never be alone with someone of the opposite sex. Now, there are exceptions. We'll let you be with your mother. And your grandmother, I think, is alright, too. Probably an aunt. Now, you know what I mean.

We, in the United Church of God, for the ministry, we have what's called the Ministerial Code of Ethics. And one of the areas that, you know, somewhere, someplace, there is this Ministerial Code of Ethics, and at the end, I signed it and I dated it, and I did so happily. Because it lists step by step what I agree I'm going to do as a representative of the church. And you know what? If I'm ever not doing that, I wanted them to have a piece of paper so they can go, and get me out of here before I damage people. And one of the things that I signed was, I will never be alone with a woman who is not my wife. Now, if somebody wants to be anointed, we go back in that room. You may notice I say, grab your husband, or grab, you know, so-and-so, you go with us. Glass windows, but I don't want to be back there, around there. I don't want anyone to ever wonder. Now, I do draw the line with this lady right here. This one, I have a license officer. I'm married to this one. I want to be with her all the time. But, you know, we just did the landmine. I should add that that Minister of Code of Ethics says, never to be alone with a woman not your wife, or a minor child. And you know what kind of society we're in, and you know what hits the news from time to time, of unmarried religious officials and improprieties with children.

Therefore, years ago, the Council came out with a sexual misconduct policy, which one of the big facets in a nutshell is this too-deep leadership, that in camp settings, have a kid that gets injured, boy or girl. I don't load him up. Rick Beam doesn't load him up. Sean Cordley, who doesn't load up one child and head down to the Aniana Hospital. Two adults take one child, one or more child, minor, regardless of male or female. Same sex as the person that might be the camp nurse, you know, whoever. Same sex or opposite sex. We need to avoid that. Now, two days ago, I saw a link to an article where Billy Graham, I mean, he's up in years now. But he was honored being a state of North Carolina, named him their favorite son. I've heard the name Billy Graham from my entire life. My grandmother, Reagan, would tell us when I was not even a teen about, well, Billy Graham said this the other day, but you know, he always has had the strictest policy that I will not be with a woman besides my wife, unless somebody else is present. And in all these years, have you ever, I know you haven't heard, of any allegation of impropriety towards that man? And I think that's a wonderful example for every one of us. Welcome, Will Arnf and Joseph. Last one, finally. Don't play games. Don't play flirtatious games with anyone at work, in the neighborhood or in the congregation. Seemingly innocent flirting. You know, we want to have friends show yourself friendly. The proverb tells us that. Be friendly. Be a part of the team there at work. But there's that line that's not always easy to see out there, and you cross over from being friendly to flirting. To flirting with someone else, and that someone else is not your spouse. Therefore, as Christ said, you've heard of old time, it's been written, you shall not commit adultery. But I say to you, if that man looks on a woman with lust, he has broken that law already. I said earlier, there are those that get themselves in the most horrible mess. The dreaded D word is used. A couple of lawyers up, someone asks a friend, says, how did you get in this mess? And the person may simply say, it just happened.

So I close the sermon by just saying, don't let it happen to you. The price is a price you do not want to pay, and the prevention is right here in this book. Twofold. If we choose every day to love that spouse above every person on this earth, and every day we choose to love the Lord our God with all of our heart and soul and being, and love His law, and realize every time we try to apply His law, it works every time. And in so doing, I believe we can make great strikes in building the happiest marriages of all time, which is what God wants us to have.