Avoiding a Victim Mindset

Well, thank you again, Mr. Blakey, and thank you, Mara Sell. What a beautiful special music sung with such emotion. It's just very beautiful. Thank you for sharing that with us today.

Well, it was just a few days ago that we all had the opportunity to enjoy a national holiday that we called Thanksgiving. And I hope you had a great Thanksgiving. We sure did. Plenty of food to eat and a great fellowship and fun spending time with family. So it's a wonderful day and we enjoyed the day of Thanksgiving. Perhaps it would be good to remind ourselves what George Washington originally proclaimed in 1789. Now, later on, it was actually Abraham Lincoln who made it a national holiday routinely to be held every year in November. But it was actually George Washington who was the first one to make the proclamation. And I'd like to read it rather quickly. Or this is just part of it. It's too long for me to read the entire thing. Here's what Washington wrote, quote, whereas it is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will and be grateful for His benefits and humbly to implore His protection and favor. And whereas both houses of Congress, by their joint committee, requested me to recommend to the people of the United States a day of public Thanksgiving and prayer to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peacefully to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness. And now, therefore, I do recommend and assign Thursday, the 26th of November, next, again, this is in 1789, to be devoted by the people of these states to the service of that great and glorious being who is the beneficent author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be, end of quote, from our very first president. Now, how far has this nation gone? Well, in contrast, the existing president of the United States had his proclamation on November 27th, and he didn't even mention God's name or providence in his proclamation. Now, he claims to be a religious man when it's politically convenient, but his proclamation did not refer to God at all.

We've been very blessed to be born into a wealthy and stable nation compared to many other nations that exist on earth today. And all of us should be profoundly thankful to God for his mercy and blessings on our nation and on us individually. But do you realize that there's a deep social and cultural current in our nation, and it's been going on about a decade or so, a cultural current that is the opposite of thankfulness and gratitude and appreciation? Before I discuss what this is, I want to first emphasize what Jesus Christ himself taught about the kind of mindset and perspective we should have. So we're going to begin by going to John chapter 16, beginning in verse 22, if you will turn there with me, John chapter 16 and verse 22. And this is in direct contrast to a cultural current in our society today in which people want to be a perpetual victim.

Therefore, now this is a person who knows what he's about to face, crucifixion, torture, humiliation, and ultimately death. Therefore, you now have sorrow, but I will see you again and your heart will rejoice and your joy no one will take from you. And in that day, you will ask me nothing. Most assuredly, I say to you, whatever you ask the Father in my name, he will give you. Until now, you have asked nothing in my name. They always were taught to directly approach the Father for a request. Jesus says, ask and you will receive that your joy may be full. Now, on the eve of what Jesus Christ is about to experience, he has full joy. He's about to be a victim, but he's not going to live an eternity of victimization. And there's a difference between the two. And that's really what I want to talk about today. Christ wanted his disciples to be filled with joy. This is not only one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit joy, but it's also the root cause of being thankful, of having gratitude and having appreciation for the things that we have. When you are filled with joy, you focus on the things that you have.

You don't focus on the things that you lack. Are we filled with joy?

All of us who are in this room today, are we filled with joy or we let someone or something steal our joy. Let's go one chapter forward, John chapter 17. Jesus here is addressing the Father himself.

Again, keep in mind, he knows exactly what faces him in a very short period of time. While I was with them in the world, I kept them in your name. Those whom you gave me, I have kept. And none of them is lost except the son of perdition, Judas Iscariot, of course, that the scripture might be fulfilled. But now I come to you. And these things I speak in the world, that they, speaking of his disciples, his followers, may have my joy fulfilled in themselves.

Do we have the joy of Jesus Christ fulfilled within our lives? Well, I'll tell you one thing. If you make yourself and interpret the world as being a perpetual victim, you cannot have joy fulfilled in yourself. They are two opposite extremes. They are not compatible mindsets. Verse 14, I've given them your word and the world has hated them because they are not of this world, just as I am not of this world. I do not pray that you should take them out of the world, but you should keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. So again, just as though Jesus Christ himself, our Savior, knew he was about to face torture and crucifixion, he still had joy. Jesus focused on the great things that he had. He focused on his future, the resurrection, and being restored to his full glory and preeminence with the Father when once again he would go to heaven. He focused on the great things that he had, not on the negative things to come, or he didn't focus on the things that he was lacking, or he thought he was entitled to. He focused on the great things that he had, because that's how we become joyful. He deeply appreciated his relationship with the Father and his mission on this earth. He also prayed that his disciples would share the same level of joy as he experienced at that time, and we're not even facing eminent torture and crucifixion. So we have every reason in the world to be joyful. How about us? Are we filled with that kind of joy, that kind of contentment, that kind of positive perspective about our lives and what God is doing in our lives and the future that God has for us? Why is this so important? It's because the world today has many people with a totally different perspective on their lives. It isn't one based on thankfulness and gratitude and appreciation for the things they have. Instead, it's based on a different selfish perspective. Let's see how this was demonstrated by our original parents, Adam and Eve, because it's not unusual what has overcome our culture today. It goes all the way back to Adam and Eve. It is part of human nature, and if not checked, if not overcome, it can eventually overtake an entire society and culture. Let's go to Genesis chapter 3 and verse 9. This is immediately after they have eaten of the forbidden fruit, and God comes to ask them what's happened and to talk to them. And here's what happens. Genesis chapter 3 and verse 9.

Then the Lord God called Adam and said to him, God was kind of surprised because Adam always came out to greet him. He was never hard to find before, so he says, where are you?

And he said, I heard your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked and I hid myself.

And God, he said, who told you that you were naked? God says, in essence, look, you spent all this time in the garden, you and your wife, and you let it all hang out, and you never felt ashamed or embarrassed before. What's come over you? Why suddenly are you ashamed of the way that you look? God knew, of course, he's probing Adam. God knows exactly what Adam and Eve did. He wants to see how they'll answer. Who told you you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you that you should not eat? God knows the answer. He wants to see what they'll say. Then the man said, now here's what he should have said, Lord God Almighty, I'm a sinner. You gave me a direct instruction not to eat of that fruit, and I ate it, and I repent. And I'm just so disappointed that I let you down, and I broke your commandment that I was not obedience, and I beg you, and I plead to you for your forgiveness. But that's not what Adam does. Adam makes himself a victim. It's one thing to be a victim, a true victim of a crime or abuse. It's another thing to make yourself a victim as an excuse for your behavior. Let's see what happens here. Then the man said, the woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate. In essence, what's he saying in essence? It's not really my fault. You see, it's just a woman's fault. Oh, and by the way, subliminally, you created that woman. You gave her to me. So really, the bottom line is, is this is all your fault, God? The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me the fruit, and I ate. So he blames the woman. He's a victim. It's not really my fault, it's her fault. Let's see what happens when the woman is asked. And the Lord God said to the woman, what is this that you've done? And the woman said, be careful of the word this, the serpent deceived me, and I ate. So she's also playing the victim. It's not really my fault. It's this serpent. Oh, subliminally, by the way, the one that you let in this garden. So ultimately, it's your fault, God. The serpent deceived me. I want you first of all to notice the things that Adam and Eve had overlooked. See, when you have joy, these are the things that you would focus on, the gift of life. There was a time when they had no existence. Suddenly, they have consciousness and awareness, and they have these beautiful bodies. They have a personal relationship with their Creator. They have ongoing daily pleasures in this beautiful, perfect garden. They're living in a paradise with peace and good health and wholesome foods and a stress-free environment. I'll sign up for that any day of the week. Instead of thankfulness and appreciation, they immediately demonstrate a victimization mindset. Adam proclaims he's a victim of Eve's wife, and Eve proclaims she's a victim of the serpent. They both blame others for the choice they made and the situation that they're in. And that is becoming such a common part of our culture today, blaming others for the choices that we make and for the situation that we're in in life. Now, there's a difference between being a victim and accepting a victimization mindset. Someone who is the target of crime is a victim. Someone who is a target of physical abuse, sexual abuse is a victim. Someone who is harassed or bullied is a victim. But a victimization mindset is something totally different. When one has this mindset, they are a perpetual victim.

They believe that every challenge and difficulty and problem is living proof that they're being victimized. They give up their personal responsibility so they can blame others for their situation in life. And it's a very common theme throughout the scriptures. We'll take a look at one other example. We looked at Adam and Eve. We'll take a look at Saul, the first king of Israel. We're going to go to 1 Samuel chapter 15 and verse 7. 1 Samuel chapter 15 and verse 7, little background. God told Saul to eliminate all of the Amalekites and all of their possessions. He said, I want everything about them exterminated from off the earth. Now, you may say, well, that's kind of heartless. It's divine justice. The Amalekites had attacked Israel when they were vulnerable after leaving Egypt. So they incurred God's wrath. And I might say these were quite dysfunctional cultures anyway that had child sacrifice and incest. And these were not healthy cultures. These people will be resurrected again and have an opportunity to live in a perfect world and not to live in the kind of world that they lived in. But nonetheless, God told Saul to eliminate all the Amalekites. So let's pick it up here in verse 7. And Saul attacked the Amalekites from Havelot to the way of Shur, which is east of Egypt. And he also took Agag, king of the Amalekites, alive. That's different, contrary to what God had asked him to do. And utterly destroyed all the people with the edge of the sword. But Saul and the people spared Agag and the best of the sheep, the oxen, the fatlings, the lambs, and all that were good, contrary to what God had instructed. He said, I want you to annihilate, destroy everything about them. And we're unwilling to utterly destroy them. But everything despised and worthless, that they utterly destroyed. How big of them? Something was totally worthless. That's what they destroyed. Now the word of the Lord came to Samuel saying, I greatly regret that I've set up Saul as king, for he has turned back from following me and has not performed my commandments. And it grieved Samuel and he cried out to the Lord all night, brokenhearted. And God was brokenhearted. This disobedience was very disappointing to both God and Saul. They both had high hopes that Saul would be a good example, as Israel's first appointed king. You know, when you're the first of something, you're usually setting the precedent for future generations. A lot of the presidency today goes back to George Washington and how he conducted himself as our first president. His example set a model for what the presidency should be. And in this case, everyone was hoping that Saul would be a man of integrity and faithfulness. And he would set the model that all future kings of Israel could follow. But Saul, like all of us, was a free moral agent. And he shows some warning signs, frankly, of narcissistic personality disorder that comes out. And unfortunately, that happens with a number of people. Some people, they always have that tendency because it's a mental disorder. They always have that tendency. But when they're given a little bit of power, a little bit of influence, or a little bit of money, the narcissistic personality disorder comes out full-fledged and literally takes over their lives. And sadly, that occurs far too often, including in the political and religious world, I might add. Let's continue. Verse 12. So when Samuel rose early in the morning to meet Saul, it was told Samuel saying, Saul went to Carmel and indeed he has set up a monument for himself. Oh, what great humility. He set up a monument to himself. Wow, how sad.

And he has gone on around passing by and going down to Gilgal when Samuel went to Saul and Saul said to him, blessed are you of the Lord. I have performed the commandment of the Lord.

That's a lie. He didn't perform the commandment of the Lord. He's deceiving himself. And he's about to make himself a victim. This disobedience is not really my fault. But Samuel said, what then is the bleeding of the sheep in my ears and the lowering of the oxen I hear? If you obeyed God, how come I hear all these animals alive? You were told to exterminate, to annihilate everything that was part of these people, the Amalekites. It's all said. They, not me, not I, they have brought them from the Amalekites for the people spared the best of the sheep and oxen to sacrifice to the Lord your God and the rest we have utterly. Now was they that one? The bad part was now I want you to notice and the rest we have utterly destroyed. So when it comes to the disobedient part of the command, it's they did it. When the right stuff was done, we did it.

How interesting. So let's continue here.

Then Samuel said to Saul, and I'll put this in modern terminology, shut up. And I will tell you what the Lord said to me last night. And he said to him, speak on. And Samuel said, when you were little in your eyes, when you were humble, when you were nothing, and you didn't think you needed to build a monument to yourself of all things, you were not, were you not the head of the tribes of Israel? Didn't I give you everything that you have, Saul? Power, position, authority, kingship. Didn't I give you everything? And did not the Lord anoint you, king over Israel? Now the Lord sent you on a mission and said go and utterly destroy, not partially destroy, utterly destroy the sinners, the Amalekites, and fight against them until they are consumed. Verse 19. Why then did you not obey the voice of the Lord? Why did you swoop down on the spoil? In other words, every man for himself, let's get all the goodies, the gold and anything of value. Finders keepers. Why did you swoop down on the spoil and do evil in the sight of the Lord? And Saul said to Samuel, but I have obeyed the voice of the Lord and gone on the mission which the Lord sent me. See how he has deceived himself? Because he's made himself a victim. It's like I have no responsibility here, and that's the problem with victimization. People think they have no responsibility because it's always somebody else's fault. I'd gone on a mission which the Lord sent me and brought back Agag, king of Amalek, have utterly destroy, have utterly destroyed the Amalekites, but the people, it's their faults. And subliminally, since you created people, it's your fault, God. But the people took the plunder, sheep and oxen, the best of the things which should have been utterly destroyed, the sacrifice of the Lord, your God in Gilgal. It's the people's fault. It's not my fault, it's their fault. Then Samuel says, has the Lord as great a delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as in obeying the voice of the Lord? What do you think's important to God? He asks him, Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice and to heed, to listen. Focus, listen to what you're told. To heed than the fad of rams. For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. He's saying, you're stubborn, you too proud, too narcissistic to admit that you screwed up, Saul, that you are to blame for this situation. Stop pawning it off as the people, as if it's their fault, because you have rejected as a word of the Lord. He has also rejected you from being king. Then Saul said to Samuel, I have sinned.

And I don't know how sincere this is. I guess it's kind of like your last card.

If someone's telling you we're taking away all your toys and your influence and your power and your kingship, maybe the last thing you resort to is finally repenting. Again, I don't know how serious Saul is. And Saul said to Samuel, I have sinned, for I have transgressed the commandment of the Lord and your words because I feared the people and obeyed their voice. I kind of doubt he feared the people. He was the king. Why would he fear the people? He was the commander. They did what he told them to do. They did what he allowed them to do. So I just don't know how truthful that is or if he's continuing to live in a world of self-deceit. Verse 25, now therefore, please pardon my sin. It isn't Samuel that needs to pardon his sin. He needs to pray to God as God, who can only God can give him pardon for his sin, not the prophet. And return with me that I may worship the Lord. But Samuel said to Saul, I will not return with you, for you have rejected the word of the Lord, and the Lord has rejected you from being king over Israel. And as Samuel turned around to go away, Saul seized the edge of his robe and a tore. So Samuel said to him, the Lord has torn the kingdom of Israel from you today and has given it to a neighbor of yours who is better than you. Very soon, the young David would be anointed to be king of Israel to replace Saul. But you know what?

Because God is so brilliant and masterful. David waited about 15 to 18 years until he was reigned over all Israel. It was a long period of time from David being anointed until he finally became king of all Israel. That means for those years, Saul continued to reign, but yet the prophecy would come true and be fulfilled. Verse 29, and also the strength of Israel will not lie nor relent. God's not about to change his mind. Samuel says, for he is not a man that he should relent. Then he said, I have sinned, yet honor me now, please, before the elders of my people. It's all about his ego. Please make sure that I'm honored before the elders. It should be the last thing that you're thinking about. You should be thinking about dropping to your knees and asking your creator God for his forgiveness, for your sin, not worrying about your own personal honor.

Yet honor me now, please, before the elders of my people and before Israel return with me, that I may worship the Lord your God. And again, David would be anointed a short period of time after this, but would wait 15 to 18 years before he literally reigned over all of Israel. This is a very sad story. Saul blatantly disobeyed God's clear instructions and he deceives himself into thinking his compromises were actually obedience when they were not. They were disobedience. And he also blames the people for the disobedient things that he did, trying to make himself out to be a victim. There was an interesting article I found on the internet. The article was entitled, Beware the dangers of victim mentality. It's written by a Hungarian named Axos Balog. That's A-K-O-S-B-A-L-O-G. And I'd just like to read a few paragraphs from his article because I think it hits the nail right on the head. He said, I grew up with a victim mentality. No one called it that at the time, but as I look back, that's what it was. You see, I was a refugee from communist Eastern Europe, from Hungary. I grew up among other refugees, among victims, victims of an oppressive totalitarian regime, victims who saw loved ones imprisoned and killed, victims for whom fleeing their homeland was the only option left.

Now, not for a moment do I want to minimize the suffering of fellow Hungarian refugees. Their pain is real. I grew up in a subculture that was overly aware of its suffering. Being a victim was core to our Hungarian identity, like Goulash and the paprika.

And yes, Hungary had his fair share of national tragedy from a 1920 peace treaty at the end of World War I that saw Hungary lose 60% of her territory from being occupied first by Nazis and then by the Soviets for 40 plus years. Growing up, I was constantly reminded of how much we Hungarians had suffered at the hands of others.

We were the victims and the nations around us, the Russians, Romanian, Serbs, Slovaks, they were the oppressors. We were innocent. They were guilty. And so I developed a victim mentality, at least when it came to race. The victim mentality had well and truly distorted my view of reality. But I'm concerned about the adoption of a victim mentality. A mentality like a drug makes you feel good for a while. I'll just stop there.

And the reason it makes you feel good for a while is you gain sympathy from some people. And you gain concessions from some people because you are a perpetual victim. And some people do really nice things for you because their hearts are touched and they have empathy for someone who's a victim. So I'll go back to his article now. He says, a mentality that like a drug makes you feel good for a while, but then sucks the life out of you.

If you have a victim mentality, you will see your entire life through perspective that things constantly happen to you. Victimization is thus a combination of seeing most things in life as negative beyond your control. And it's something you should be given great sympathy for, experiencing as you deserve better.

At its heart, a victim mentality is actually a way to avoid taking any responsibility for yourself or your life. By believing you have no power, then you don't have to take action. He says, people can be innocent victims. We can suffer unjust evil at the hands of others, but we need to be aware of moving from being an innocent victim to adopting a victim mentality.

And in the case of other victims, we should affirm the reality of their suffering. And as we have the opportunity, we should address it. But we do them a great disservice if we promote in them a victim mentality mindset. End of quote from this article. Those with a victim mentality hold three beliefs. Belief number one is that bad things have happened in the past and will continue to happen to you. Number two, the second belief is others are to blame for your misfortune.

And we saw that very clearly today in the story of Adam and Eve and the story of Saul, this is the first king of Israel. And number three, there's no point in trying to make a change because it makes no difference. I have given up my ability to change things to others because I'm a perpetual victim. Think about what this young man, Exos Balog wrote. And when did Hungary stop being a pawn of the Soviet Union? When enough Hungarians woke up one morning and said, I am not a victim. We're getting the Russians out of here. And we're claiming Hungary is our own. That's when the change happened. But as long as people were subdued by a victim mentality, thinking, oh, someone else is always to blame.

They're bad. I'm innocent. There's nothing I can do. So I'm not even going to try. It is a mindset that just creates stagnation in a nation and individually in our lives if we buy into it. Victim mentality leads you to feel vulnerable and afraid. And in turn, you choose not to take personal responsibility or you blame on other people. Put place blame on other people and make excuses, even when there are actions and things that you could do, things that you could take.

People cling to their victimization often for years, sometimes for a lifetime when they have no power to pick up and move on from it. And if that's how you feel, then you will continue to live in that kind of a mindset. The key is that if you get rid of the beliefs that cause the problem, the feeling of victimization will disappear for good.

When you change your mentality away from being a perpetual victim towards thankfulness, gratitude and appreciation for the things that you have, positive things happen in your life. And that begins to repeat itself. Those positive feelings and emotions are rewarded by more positive feelings and emotions, by a deeper sense of thankfulness and gratitude and appreciation. You realize you do have choices and you can change things in your life and not just blame someone else.

Now back to the example of Jesus Christ as we conclude this sermon today. If anyone ever had the right to adopt a victim mentality, blaming other people for their own unjust suffering, it was Jesus. And yet according to scripture, he doesn't adopt any behavior that is consistent with having a victim mentality. Instead, in response to his suffering, he had the mindset of a humble servant. That's in Philippians chapter two verses seven and eight. He endured faithfully as he saw the joy that waited for him on the other side of the resurrection.

Furthermore, he lovingly suffered and bled for those who victimized him. That's first Peter chapter two and verse 21. Even in the midst of suffering, he prayed for their forgiveness. He said, Father, forgive them for they know not what they do. That's in Luke chapter 23 and verse 34. Let's go up in Colossians together as a congregation. Colossians chapter two and verse five.

Last couple of scriptures today. Colossians chapter two and verse five.

This is Paul writing to the congregation at Colossae. He says, for though I am absent in the flesh, yet I'm with you in spirit, rejoicing to see your good order and steadfastness of your faith in Christ. This was a congregation that had their act together. They were steadfast. They were faithful. Paul was proud of them and he lets them know how he feels. Verse six. As you have therefore received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him. As you saw the example of Jesus Christ and you read about it in the gospels, that should be our example. We should walk according to the example that he set in his lifetime. Verse seven. Rooted and built up in him, not in the things that go on in the world, not in the sin and the dysfunctions that this world continually circumvents and subscribes in each generation, but rooted and built up in him and established in the faith as you have been taught abounding in it with thanksgiving. That's the heart of joy. That is the heart of everything that we do, not focusing on what we lack, realizing, and yes, just about everybody that I know in here has been a victim of something at least once in their lives. We've all been victims of something, but not allowing that to define us and moving on from that and realizing that we can make personal changes, that we can change our situation, that we have the freedom of choice, and that we can abound with thanksgiving rather than resentment and regret and bitterness because we've allowed ourselves to become a perpetual victim. Our Savior, the foremost victim of human history, never adopted a victim mentality. The New Testament commands Christians to have the same attitude that Jesus Christ did. Jesus Christ was our model, and even though he was a victim, he got over it. He passed through it. He was resurrected. He went to a whole different level. He did not demonstrate a mindset of perpetual victimization. He let it go, and he went onward with his existence and all the things that God had planned for him. All right, our final scripture today, 1 Peter chapter 1 verses 6 through 9. 1 Peter chapter 1 verses 6 through 9.

1 Peter chapter 1 verses 6 through 9. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials. You see, a Christian doesn't define every challenge, difficulty, and upset as all they're out to get me. That's living proof that I'm a victim. I'm innocent. They're guilty. That's bad. I'm okay. That's not how Christians define various trials and problems and situations. They define him as part of the learning and growing and maturing process as a human being to slowly develop the mind of Jesus Christ. Verse 7. At the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Notice there's no victimization here. There's no, I can't do anything about it. I'm trapped. These people are bad or this person's bad and I'm a victim and woe is me and everybody should feel sorry for me and give me free stuff because I'm a victim. No, it says they may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ, whom having not seen, not seen Christ literally, you love, though now you do not see him yet believing you rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory. You cannot rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory and be a victim at the same time. Those are two contrasting opposite opposed mindsets. It's either one or it's the other. Verse 9. Receiving the end or the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls. So brethren, we just enjoyed Thanksgiving Day, the year 2024, and I hope it was an enjoyable day for you. Let's continue to rejoice in Thanksgiving for the many things we have been given and not become part of this culture's victimization mentality. I wish you a wonderful and fulfilling Sabbath day.