Becoming Like The Family Series Part 1: Kindness

Becoming Like the Family Series Part 1: Kindness

Given on May 11, 2024 by Troy Phelps

TRANSCRIPTION:

It had been my intention after we got past Passover and the Days of Unleavened Bread

to get back to the Revelation series that we started and left off with before those

Holy Days. But after giving the sermon that I entitled “Christ in You”, I felt that God wanted me to begin a new series that would bridge those early parts of the spring Holy Days to the

latter part of Pentecost. And as I laid out all these sermons in my kind of rough speaking schedule, it'll take us actually past Pentecost to conclude these --- but we're going to start a new series today. We'll eventually get back to Revelation. Maybe we'll even sprinkle the two in together, I have no idea.

OUR NEED FOR CHRIST’S KINDNESS IN US

But at this moment, I would like to springboard off of that sermon, “Christ in You”, and share

and work from the idea of how of and by ourselves, you and I cannot overcome sin. God knew that. So God placed a part of himself and his son in us. And that we talked about how in that sermon, God doesn't just take over our bodies and, you know, work us like a robot, that we have to yield to that spirit that God places in us --- and through that yielding to that spirit working within us that God can transform us --- and we can become like Jesus Christ. We now look forward from the days of unleavened bread and we begin counting and we look forward to the next holiday in God's plan, Pentecost, the day that the New Testament church began and God's Holy Spirit was poured out on his people and God and Christ began living within their children.

As we begin today, let's turn to John 15. Now these are likely very familiar words to you in John 15. These are the words of Jesus Christ to His disciples on Passover evening. We likely read those words in wherever you were on Passover. And here at the beginning of the chapter, Christ discusses the concept that you would be familiar with --- that He is the vine and His Father is vine-dresser. Now this whole analogy that Christ is using here is related to the idea of Christ in us and us in Christ --- connected through Their Holy Spirit --- and yielding to Them --- and being led by that Holy Spirit in our lives. And in verse 2, we see that there are branches that have been connected to Jesus Christ --- but yet while connected, they don't develop the fruit of Christianity in their lives. They don't develop --- these branches don't develop the qualities and the characteristics of the God family. And God therefore, as that vine dresser, removes them. He takes them away.

Yet for those who are developing the fruits of Christianity (those characteristics and qualities of the God family), God continues to work with them. He actually says He prunes them further so that they will yield even more fruit, more of these qualities in their life.

And again in verse 4, we see that we have to allow Christ to live in us --- […….] for us to remain connected to that source so we produce fruit. So let's pick this up in John 15 and verse 4. In John 15:4, Christ says, Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in me. I am the vine, and you are the branches. He who abides in Me and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me, you can do nothing. Without Christ in us, we can't produce good fruit or much fruit.

Verse 8 of the same chapter, By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so [that] you will be My disciples. So how does a vine-dresser get accolades in this world? If you would travel over to Napa, you'd go to one of the wineries and talk to the vine-dresser there. How is he going to be respected by other people in that field? Well, it's by looking at his vines, right? People would look at the vines. They'd see this great fruit being produced by his vines --- and they'd go, ‘This guy knows what he's doing. This guy knows how to trim these in just the right way to produce a lot of fruit.’ Well, here God says when we produce a lot of fruit as those branches, He is glorified because He's the vine-dresser doing all the pruning. And He's the one who makes it possible for us as branches to produce mature high-quality fruit. And as we do, as we walk in the model of Jesus Christ, we are truly His disciples.

So starting today, I would like to give a new series of sermons moving through the characteristics that belong to the God family, that we are striving to grow in if we are truly allowing Christ to live within us --- and if we are truly yielding and allowing the vine dresser to produce mature high-quality fruit in us. And again, I want to emphasize the point --- we can't do it of ourselves. Just as branches, we can't produce some great cluster of grapes of and by ourselves. We have to remain connected to the vine through God's Spirit --- and we have to then allow God to produce that within us.

So where would we find a list of high-quality characteristics that we want to be growing in --- that if we stay connected through the Holy spirit? you guys know where this is, right? Galatians. What is it? Galatians where? Galatians five. I hear it. And that was a pop quiz. You probably all knew it --- but Galatians 5 and we'll start in verse 22. If you would turn with me to Galatians 5 and verse 22. Now these each are qualities that belong to the God family. These are qualities that you and I cannot develop by ourselves. These qualities come from Their Spirit within us. So as Their children --- with Their Spirit in us --- we then now have the power --- and we are expected to be growing in these qualities. 

Now how many of you have some sort of fruit-producing tree on your property? How many? All right. A lot of you. Almost all of you. So before moving to California, I had no fruit producing anything. Now once I moved here, I went, “Wow! We have such a long growing season. I ought to be growing something.” And so I now have a lemon tree, a lime tree, several citrus trees. I have a fig tree. I have a goji berry. I have three grape vines. And Mr. Andrade is helping me with a lot of these. Some of them he's given me, some of them I've purchased--- but I have a lot of things now that are meant to be growing fruit. I'm still learning. But we'll leave that for another time. But any of you that have these things know that you don't just wake up one day --- walk outside --- and a tree that yesterday was barren now today has some mature, beautiful piece of fruit sitting there. There's a whole process that takes place. You have to go, you know, take care of that plant. It begins to start in a very small way, producing usually something that's going to turn into some sort of a flower, that eventually sets and it grows and it matures. And through this months-long process, you eventually, after you've been pruning and taking care of this plant, some fruit is finally produced. And you get all excited. For me, usually on my pomegranate tree, I'm getting like one or two pomegranates a year. So when they finally set and I get them, that's pretty exciting for me. My grapes have not been producing yet very well, but I'm working much harder this year. I'm optimistic. But there's a whole process that is involved in that.

And here in Galatians 5, Paul says by God placing His Spirit in you, as we yield and we remain humble and workable to our small part in that process --- God begins this great process. And it doesn't happen overnight --- but a great process of developing --- not lemons in your life and not limes --- but developing these qualities in your life. So if you're led by God's Spirit, you should be able to start seeing in your life these things growing over time and maturing to the point that this fruit has been developed in your life. And let's read the whole list. Galatians 5 and verse 22, But the fruit of the Spirit is love, [a fruit of the Spirit is] joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.[And] against such there is no law.

So as we start in this new sermon series, I had the question of, well, where do I start in this list of fruits that we're supposed to each be developing in our life? Should I start at the beginning with love? Well, that felt big. I think Mr. Petty has given sermons and sermons and sermons on that topic. So I went, that's too big to start with. I'm not starting there. And I went, well, maybe I should go to the end and start with the other bookend to start with self-control. And I went, well, no, maybe God wanted these to bookend the greater fruits that we were to develop. So I decided to start smack in the middle --- smack in the middle --- for no other reason than it was smack in the middle. There's nine. So there's a center to this. And we're going to work from the inside out on these as we cover this.

So today we're going to start with the fruit of the Spirit “kindness” --- kindness --- fruit of  the Spirit “kindness”. The King James actually translates this word “gentleness”. The fruit in the Greek is the noun chrestotes --- chrestotes. I actually meant to put that on the slide and I forgot to include that. I'll go ahead and spell it to you because I'm going to reference this word a number of times. It's spelled C H R E S T O T E S. I'm going to do that one more time. C H R E S T O T E S. chrestotes. Now when you look at the King James, all the places this word is translated, sometimes it's “goodness”, sometimes it's “kindness”, sometimes it's just “good”, and sometimes it's “gentleness”. So --- goodness, kindness, good, gentleness. And then it has an adjective form of this noun. And that adjective form of the same word is translated “kind”, “easy”, “better”, “goodness”, “good” and “gracious” --- kind, easy, better, goodness, good, gracious. And what we learn from just the range of how it's translated is this is not an easy word for the translators to go, oh this is the exact meaning of this word. So they have to move it around to try to find the right meaning. It's used 17 times --- the noun and adjective of this word, 17 times in the New Testament. And as we look at all these fruits in the coming months, one principle that we're going to work from is people can have moments of doing any of these things. You're going to have someone who can treat you loving in a moment. You can have somebody who can even exercise self-control in a moment. They can be good in a moment. And in relationship to today's sermon, you can have somebody who can be kind in a moment.

All of us have moments of these qualities, but none of us are these qualities (None of us are, you know, is one of these qualities--- are, is, --- anyway, don't get caught up in my English). None of us can do this all the time in our life of and by ourselves. People can't be this. It's not in our nature to be these things. But that's different for the spiritual family of God. They are these qualities --- and they're always these qualities --- always --- all the time. They never take a moment where they're not all these words.

Let's look at one example of that in 1 John 4. We'll read verse 8 and verse 16 --- just two verses there in 1 John 4. 1 John 4 --- and I'll start in verse 8 to begin with. It simply says the familiar passage, “He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” Right? That's one of the fruits of the Spirit, and it clearly tells us who God is. God is love. Then later in verse 16, it tells us, And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him. So we start to see this again, this connection that we abide through the Holy Spirit in God and Jesus Christ. They abide in us. And God is love. So if we’re abiding and connecting in through that Holy Spirit, we are to be growing and developing and becoming love ourselves. Now this is not the quality we're focusing on today, but it's a principle that extends not to just love --- it extends to all the fruits of the Spirit. God is self-control. God is goodness. God is --- in today's sermon --- kindness. It's who God is. It's who the God family is. They can't be another way. So being connected again, abiding in God and God in us means that we are connected --- and we are abiding in kindness and kindness in us. Kindness is something, again, we can have a moment even just as a human being apart from God's Spirit. We can be kind in a moment, but kindness to become us is something that has to be developed by connecting to God and Jesus Christ through their Spirit. And again, of and by ourselves we can't become this quality. And so I wanted to make sure to hit that principle pretty hard --- because we're going to work from this idea of each of these fruits of the Spirit as we work through that, yes, we can have moments of one of them --- but to become this is only through God's Spirit in us. And it's one of the proofs we look for. When somebody goes, “Oh, did my conversion take? Did my baptism take?” Well, we start to go, well are you growing in these fruits? Because if God is in you --- and you're yielding to God and God's Holy Spirit in your life --- you should be seeing these things expand and mature and develop in your life over time. And if you're not, well then we do have to have a conversation. But if you're watching these things grow, well then that's your proof that God is doing something within your life, that these things are growing. So we're going to take time to go through each of these --- one sermon at a time --- because this is critical. It's foundational to us becoming like our Father and like our Brother.

Let's go to Romans 3 and verse 12. Romans 3. We'll actually start in verse 9 of this passage. Romans 3 and we'll start 9. Here Paul is addressing how both Jews and Gentiles are both sinners. They have the same flawed nature apart from God. And he states that clearly here in verse 9. He says, What then? Are we better than they? Not at all. For we have previously charged both Jews and Greeks that they are all under sin. Verse 10, As it is written: “There is none righteous, no, not one; There is none who understands; There is none who seeks after God. Verse 12, They have all turned aside; They have together become unprofitable; There is none who does good, no, not one.” Now notice again here in verse 12, it says, There is none who does good, no, not one.” Now what is the idea here? It's first of all --- apart from God --- of and by ourselves --- none of us are good. None of us can be righteous and have understanding. This is contrasting apart from God. But then here in verse 12, when it says “There is none who does good” --- this word “good” is the same word that is translated “kindness” in Galatians 5:22 --- that we already looked at (or “gentleness” in the King James version). So it's the same. None does kindness. There's none who of and by themselves are kind, who have this quality in them the way God does, who is this quality. Therefore, as we are children of God trying to grow to become like Them, we have to understand this quality that we're seeking to have God develop in us through His Holy Spirit. And again, back to Christ in us --- as we yield and we let that Spirit lead us --- we can grow in this quality --- and this fruit over time can develop. 

DEFINITION OF KINDNESS

So how would we define this word? How is it used in the Bible? What are we aiming to grow in? Now Strong's brings out that it has a range of meanings --- encompassing goodness, kindness, gentleness. We're going to kind of work through all or kind of work with all three. Often when I use this word, I'm going to just talk about all, we're going to say “goodness and kindness and gentleness” --- because they're all kind of rolled together in the meaning of this word chrestotes. But Thayer's brought out a different definition of “benignity”. Now I had to even look up how to say that word “benignity”. I'm probably still butchering it. It's the word we get the word “benign” from. So if any of us would ever have a mass or some growth, we go and we've asked the doctor, “Is this cancerous or is this benign?” We use this word “benign” to mean the opposite of something that is harmful and hurtful --- like cancer is. Merriam-Webster dictionary defines this benignity as “a mild type of character that does not threaten health or life, especially not becoming cancerous.” And we even use the word cancerous in how we can have people interact with people in a negative way --- in a harmful way --- that they kind of become cancerous even within a congregation. But again, a mild type of character that does not threaten health or life. It is meant to stand [for] the opposite of severity (someone who's harsh or severe). Another definition I saw said. “It is the grace which pervades the whole nature” --- again, not just a moment of someone acting this way, but pervades the whole nature --- mellowing all that would be harsh or severe --- mellowing all that would be harsh or severe. Now I found the idea of this mellowing interesting because you're probably familiar in Matthew and Mark's account, where it talks about “No one puts new wine in old wine skins.” Do you remember that part? Well, Luke draws out something at the very end of that that neither of the other two include. And you can look this up --- I'll just read it to you --- but it's found in Luke 5 and verse 39. He's the only one that adds this ending statement. He says, “And no one, having drunk old wine, immediately desires new; for he says, ‘The old is better.’” Now what's interesting here is this word “better” is the same word chrestotes that is “kindness” in Galatians 5:22. Well why? Why do we age wine? Why is old wine often much more expensive to buy that's been aged for years and years, maybe decades? The reason they age it is over time, those tannins that are in the wine that makes the wine sometimes harsh when it's new, soften over time. They actually talk about the wine “mellowing”. So something that is a new wine would be --- maybe if you opened a bottle that's designed to be aged to let those tannins soften, but you drink it right away, it's going to be harsh and you're going to be like, “I'm not sure this is even good wine.” But you let it sit for decades --- if those tannins soften and it's not harsh, it's not sharp --- it's gentle. And that's why we pay often for aged wine. The old wine is mellow. It's kind in that sense.

We often say this about people too, right? Sometimes you can look at someone's life and you can say, “Ah, I remember when he was a new father. He was pretty harsh with his kids, right? He was pretty sharp with them. It's always kind of giving it to them. And then you watch them as they age --- and decades roll by --- and maybe they become a grandparent, or maybe even a great grandparent. You're like, “Wow! That person has mellowed. That person is no longer sharp and harsh. And they'll let the grandkids, the great grandkids, get away with almost anything around them now, right? It's this idea of mellowing out that is contained within this idea of gentleness and kindness and goodness that is within this word. And again, it's meant to be opposed to what is harsh, hard, bitter, sharp, scathing. 

Now God has moments when He exercises His ability to be both soft and mellow and kind --- with also being harsh at times. Let's look at an example of this. Romans 11:22 --- because it reminds us which side of this equation we want to be on from God and what God has done in our lives. So we're going to go to Romans 11. Now in this lead-up to this section, Paul is discussing how many of the Jews didn't respond to Jesus Christ's message --- and how God through Paul took the message then out to Gentiles (who were like, in this case, it talks about wild olive trees) --- and how God broke off some of the natural branches of the olive plant or olive tree that He was working with. And let's just pick that up. Let's start in verse 17.

In verse 17 of Romans 11, it says, And if some of the branches were broken off, and you, being a wild olive tree, were grafted in among them, and with them became a partaker of the root and [the] fatness of the olive tree, [This kind of takes us back to Christ is the vine, right? We have to be connected to Him.] do not boast against the branches. But if you do boast, remember that you do not support the root, but the root supports you. Right? Christ doesn't need anything from us. We get our support from Jesus Christ. It's not the other way around. We're not supporting Jesus Christ as if we're sustaining Him in any way. So we have nothing to boast about. Again, of and by ourselves we can't be kind, good and gentle. It's not in our nature. We have to remain connected to the vine --- or in this case, the root, the fatness of the olive tree. …. you do not support the root, but the root supports you. Now verse 19, You will say then, “Branches were broken off that I might be grafted in.” Well said. Because of unbelief they were broken off, and you stand by faith. But[notice] do not be haughty, but fear. For if God did not spare the natural branches, He may not spare you either. Therefore consider the [chrestotes or the kindness or the goodness, the same word here from Galatians 5, and] consider the severity of God: on those who fell, severity; [who were broken off], but towards you, [kindness or] goodness, if you continue in His [kindness and] goodness. It's three times in this [verse], it's the same Galatians 5:22 word. Otherwise you will also be cut off. It tells us that we should consider this kindness, this goodness, this gentleness of God, and then also be aware that God can be severe too when someone takes that for granted --- so to speak.

Well. How was God good and gentle and kind with us? We find this in Ephesians 2:4. We're going to just keep seeing this word come up in God's New Testament inspired scriptures. 

Ephesians 2 and verse 4, “But God, who is rich in mercy, [that's who He is because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved).Verse 6, and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus. [We are connected through the death of Jesus Christ. We are connected through His resurrection and His glory even through our baptism, through the placing [of] His Holy Spirit within us and us walking a newness of life, we are to continue in His goodness.] Verse 7, that in the ages to come, He might show the exceeding riches of His grace [in His chrestotes] in his kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith, and not of yourselves; It is a gift of God. You were dead in sin and yet Jesus Christ, who had already won, who sits already at the right hand of God, will in ages to come bring about the fullness of God's grace in your life --- the fullness of His kindness, His chrestotes toward us. And not only were we saved and rescued by Him, remember who you and I were when He came to save us.

Let's look at that in Titus 3 and verse 3. Titus 3:3. You'll remember that Paul is writing to Titus, a minister, a pastor here, and he's telling this pastor, “Remember who we all once were.” Titus 3:3, For we ourselves were also once foolish, Right? Weren't we all foolish before God called us, before God began to work in us? He says, weren't you all disobedient? Yeah. Weren't we all that (deceived, serving various lusts and pleasures)? Didn't we all serve various lusts and pleasures before God began doing this miracle in our lives --- living in malice and envy, hateful and hating one another? Isn't this who we all were?

Verse 4, But when the [chrestotes or the] kindness and the love of God our Savior toward man appeared, not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us through the washing of regeneration and the renewing of the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out on us abundantly through Jesus Christ, our Savior, that having been justified by His grace, we should become heirs according to the hope of eternal life. We'll stop reading there in Titus.

Through Jesus Christ we were saved. And through being saved by the God family plan, we had access to Their Spirit. So we see that this is a quality of, again, the family of God --- that we deserve death. We deserve severity and harshness. But God called us, and we responded, and we began yielding and submitting and allowing God to work within us and God wanting to develop the family quality within our life. Even now, as we yield and allow Him to work within us, pruning us where needs be, we're able to have this quality of goodness and kindness and gentleness and a “benignity” grown within us. (I'm going to stop saying that word because I can't do it.) 

HOW FRUIT OF KINDNESS CAN GROW AND MATURE IN US

So we now come to then the section of the sermon where we start to look at how this fruit must begin to be present in our lives and then grown and developed and matured. Let's turn to Romans 2. It says, Therefore, you are inexcusable, O man, whoever you are who judge, for in whatever you judge another you condemn yourself; for you who judge practice the same things. ……. And do you think this, O man, you who judge those practicing such things, and doing the same, that you will escape the judgment of God. So I want to pause here for a moment. This quality of God's goodness, His gentleness, His kindness in our lives cannot be grown unless we come face to face with who we certainly were before conversion, but often who we still are. We are sinners. We have an evil nature that still pops up and wants to rear its ugly head from time to time. And if we can retain that perspective, if we can remember who we were and the ugliness of that, how then would we turn around and look and judge others through such a harsh and critical eye? And that's how God wants us to operate. God is essentially saying, and I'm going to put it into my own words, but “Okay. but know I judge you by the same standard. How you're going to turn around and look at somebody else who also deserves my severity. I get that. But I'm being kind and loving and gentle and patient with the individual. You are supposed to be developing that quality. But if you turn around and judge with harshness and severity, know that I'm going to judge you the exact same way. And that's a scary thought. That should make each of us pause in how we judge others and look at others, and how we treat them --- even when they are doing wrong, even when they are maybe treating people poorly or whatever it may be. And we'll talk about this more as we move through. But it's remembering what God has done for you and I, and what God continues to do for you and I, and then remembering to take a different approach toward others.

Then in verse 4 is the key. And we're going to again see this word “goodness” used twice in verse four --- one is the noun form, one's the adjective form of the word. But what did this quality of God do for you and me in our lives? Verse four, Or do you despise the riches of His goodness [His kindness, His gentleness], [His] forbearance, [His] longsuffering, not knowing that [it was this quality of God, this] goodness of God that leads you to repentance? Was this quality God showed us of who He is that made us want to come to repentance --- His gentleness, His kindness, His love, His forbearance --- all these qualities brought us to repentance. It wasn't our goodness. It wasn't that you one day woke up and went, “Oh, I got to fix this train wreck of a life that I'm leading. And I got to get on the right track.” No. God --- it was God's goodness in us. It wasn't somehow our inner moral purity that finally registered --- that we were living off track. It wasn't our gentleness or our kindness that led us to repentance. God showed us this quality when we were in a state where we were dead as doornails. That's where we were headed. And in that moment of us being sinners and off track, God says, “I'm not going to respond to you how you deserve. I'm going to respond to you the opposite of how you deserve. I'm going to show up in gentleness and kindness and goodness in a very mellow kind of way for you. And He wanted us to then respond, turn our lives, come to repentance, turn our lives over to God and Jesus Christ living in us --- to yield and say, “Yep, I want to change. I want to stop being like me, and I want to start being like you. I want to change. Help me to change. Help me to mellow. Help me to yield. Help me to have this same attitude that I needed from you. Help me to then put the same attitude toward others --- to be gentle --- to be good --- to be kind --- and not be harsh and severe [and] harmful.

Let's keep moving through God's word. Colossians 3, […. Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians] Colossians 3. It was in here this morning, as they say, Colossians 3, all right. Let's start in verse 1. If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, We've talked about that recently in sermons. How we can focus on things of this world --- or we can imitate and focus on the qualities of the God family, be focused on spiritual things and imitate Jesus Christ and God the Father. And it says, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. Verse 2, Set your mind on things above, and not on things on the earth. Verse 5, Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth: And notice, we're going to start --- in several passages that we're going to turn to we're going to start to see lists that have to come out of our lives and things that we want to come in. But …. put to death your members which are on the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, covetousness, which is idolatry. Because of these things the wrath of God is coming upon the sons of disobedience, in which you yourselves once walked when you lived in them. Yep, I sure did. Last night at dinner, one of my children said, “Dad, did you really do such and such?” And I'm not going to name it because it's embarrassing. Did you really do such and such at that point in your life? And I went, “Yep.” I said, “I see your mom's been talking about me again.” And not in a bad way. That's who I was. And they need to know that's who I was. And if it wasn't for the miracle of what God has been able to do in my life, I said that's exactly who I'd still be --- because it took God and His Spirit to take that evil person and who could hurt people and do wrong things, and get me onto the path. And only by God's miracle am I not still that same person today. And the reality is --- I look back and hate that person too. And I don't really even like the person when I look back 10 years ago. And I look back, that's a decade after my conversion, and I still go, “I don't even like

that guy that much.” And the more I yield to God and allow God to do the miracle and to do the work and to remove ugliness out of me --- and the more God does that --- the more I actually see the ugliness in me that still needs to come out. And 10 years from now, I'll look back and still dislike this guy. And I'm confident that that's just how it goes. But the more that I yield, the more ugliness God shows me --- and how far I still have to go. We've got to get these things out of our lives. God's wrath is coming upon the world because these things have been a part of man's life and their choices. And if they're in our lives, if they're in your life, we've got to get help. They got to come out. Can't just live with these things. And that's not it. There's more in verse 8. These things are the opposite of kindness and gentleness and goodness. But now verse 8 of Colossians 3, But now you yourselves are to put off all these [things]: And what do we put off? anger [We've got to get anger out.] We've got to get out wrath and we've got to get out malice and blasphemy. And if you got filthy language, it's got to come out of your mouth. Verse 9, Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old man with his deeds, Notice, and then …. and have put on the new man who is [it says] renewed. Now this word's neat in the Greek. It means “renovated”. God is doing a renovation project in your life. You know --- Rosemary was talking in the email that I forwarded out last night --- how her daughter has literally taken her house down the studs to try to get the mold and the toxins and the things out. That's what God is doing in each of our lives. It’s a renovation project --- and He strips it down to the studs --- and He says, “All right. That old stuff has to go in the dumpster and get out of here. And I'm going to start rebuilding something new in your life. And that's --- you know --- so having “put on the new man who is renovated or renewed in knowledge (This word also can be translated “recognition”) according to the image of Him who created Him. Through what Christ and God has done in our lives through that miracle in our mind, We come face-to-face with the reality, with this recognition, with this knowledge of who and what we are --- versus, on the other hand, who Christ is and who the God family is. And we then begin to allow them to work in our lives --- to renovate us --- to take us again down to studs and if we will yield and allow them to work, again, all these bad things can begin to come out. The drywall and the moldy problems can come off the walls --- and over time something new is put back in place.

Verse 12 of Colossians 3, Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, [What are we to do?] put on tender mercies,[put on chrestotes, it says kindness here, chrestotes, put on this goodness, this gentleness, this mellowing, this kindness, humility, meekness, long suffering. Any of these we could do a whole sermon on, but today, again, we're focusing on kindness. We have to put on kindness to become like God.

Verse 13, notice in kindness and all these qualities, we bear with one another, we forgive one another --- and if anyone has a complaint against another, even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. This is what Christ did in our lives when we were ugly inside --- and when we recognize that, we're going to turn around and be harsh and severe with others? Rude and angry? Or are we going to become like the God family --- and be gentle and patient and kind and mellow --- all these words wrapped up in kindness?

All right, let's go to Ephesians 4. Ephesians 4. We'll start in verse 22.  Now this book of Ephesians was written just after, or right around the same time that Colossians that we just read was written. And what's interesting to me is it looks like Paul had the same message in mind for both of these congregations. It reminded me if I go to Petaluma and then I come to Orinda, I'm usually talking about the same thing, right? So if he's writing the two different congregations at the same time, the same things are probably on his mind. Verse 22, that you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be [renovated] renewed [same word] in the spirit of your mind, [and] that you put on the new man which was created according to God in true righteousness and holiness. And then verse 25 talks about putting away lying, and verse 26, don't be angry or be angry without sinning, verse 28 talks about not stealing, verse 29, again we see language comes in, watch your language. But then in verse 31, again, Let all these qualities that are opposite of kindness, Let all the bitterness, all the wrath, all the anger, all the clamor, all the evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. Get rid of that. Send it to the dumpster. Let me work and renovate your life. And then it says, And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. Notice how always brings us back to why we do it for others --- is because it was first done for us. Have a gentle, good, kind nature toward one another. Treat others with patience and grace --- because we remember who we were, and how God treated us when we were that way.

Now Paul's not the only one teaching this idea. Peter did too. I'll just read you three verses from 1 Peter 2, 1 through 3. 1 Peter 2:1 through 3. And just notice the same message now from Peter. Therefore, laying aside …. Now he doesn't say “Put it off.” --- but he says, “Lay it aside.” --- all malice, all deceit, all hypocrisy, all envy, and all evil speaking, as newborn babes, desire the pure milk of the word, that you may grow [that you may mature, may develop] thereby, Verse 3, if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is gracious. [This word gracious --- same word from Galatians 5:22 “kindness”]. And again, this is from Peter. Sounds like the same thing Paul was writing. There's things we have to be putting off, laying aside as we yield to God, growing to become like the God family. And it says because we've tasted it, we've experienced it. We know how much God has worked with us and how much patience and mercy He's shown us. Now this word “gracious”, I've already mentioned, it's the same word. It's not the word normally translated grace in many parts of the scripture. This is not a “charis”. This is again, this is the same word from Galatians 5:22.  This is the adjective form, if I remember right. Now, religious people all down through time have often been looked at through the world's lens --- and you know, as we look at religious people through the lens of the harshness that they have toward other people --- the judgment, the condemnation, and in these moments, we can tend as religious people to forget the kindness of how God dealt with each of us. It brought to mind this morning, just as I was putting the last touch on the message --- and about to hit “print”, it reminded me of the example of Jesus Christ with the woman caught in adultery. Right? How did the religious people, the Pharisees and the scribes brought this woman who was caught in the very act, no denying she's guilty, caught in the very act, it said. They bring her before Jesus Christ, and they want her stoned. How did Christ respond? She was deserving of being stoned. She was deserving of His harshness and His severity. How did He respond? As she deserved? I mean, that's how the Pharisees and scribes were responding. They said, “Let's give her what she deserves.” But Jesus Christ modeled, “No. I'm not going to give her what she deserves. I'm going to meet her with kindness and gentleness and ---you know --- goodness. Now did He tell her “It's fine. Keep on sinning. Go on doing what you did? No. ……. I'm going to put in words what Christ was thinking. Yeah. There's a lot of ugliness in your life right now. Right? There's a lot of work that needs to be done --- a whole bunch of renovating here that needs to be addressed. You're going to need to put off these practices. You're going to need to overcome these sins. But I love you. I can work with you --- and I, if you (to the extent you'll yield to me) --- I can do a miracle in your life. That's what I think Christ had going through His head as He looked at this woman. And it says that we've tasted that graciousness. We've tasted that kindness, that gentleness, that goodness of God. 

He didn't treat me --- (Sometimes these things just get you.) --- did not treat me with how I deserved. He did not meet me where I deserved or respond to me how I deserved. He met me in the opposite of what I deserved. I deserved the stoning, the death --- but I've experienced God's graciousness, His kindness, His goodness in my life. And therefore --- I'm required by God as one of His children with His Spirit in me to imitate Him, to mimic Him and Jesus Christ --- so that that quality can grow and develop and expand in my life. So that then when somebody comes --- and they're guilty --- they've been this --- do I respond with harshness like the Pharisees and the scribes and say, “Stone them!”? Or do I say, “No. I've tasted the graciousness, and I'm going to try to mimic that here in how I respond to this individual better than they deserve --- and the opposite of what they deserve. Because they may deserve it. And […….] that's what we see Christ tell us in His own words in Luke 6. Let's go to Luke 6 and notice what someone's doing --- and then how we are told by Jesus Christ to respond. And it's because we're His disciples --- because we've tasted the graciousness, this kindness of God and Jesus Christ. Luke 6:27 But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you. How are we doing at this? Cause this is the hard stuff. Loving your enemies? Doing good to those who hate you and want to treat you poorly, do terrible things? Want good things for those cursing you? To pray for God to work in the lives of those who are despising you, abusing you, threatening you, insulting you? That's hard stuff. That's not Christianity 101. That's advanced Christianity stuff. Verse 29, To him who strikes you on one cheek, offer the other also. And from him who takes away your cloak, do not withhold your tunic either. Give to everyone who asks of you. And from him who takes away your goods do not ask them back. Now that's hard stuff to read. This isn't how we as humans are naturally built to respond or think. This is advanced stuff. Now what this isn't saying, --- I feel like I have to just put the disclaimer --- This isn't saying you stay in abusive situations, and you just take it day-after-day, week-after-week that you stay in a bad situation --- that you stay in a bad relationship. These are about an encounter, a moment that happens when somebody treats you poorly, somebody is harsh with you, somebody demeans you, somebody treats you wrongly. This isn't about an abusive pattern that we're supposed to stay in. But this is about we don't respond in kind. We actually respond in the opposite way. With kindness --- showing and reflecting goodness and gentleness. That's how Jesus Christ treated and worked with people when He walked on this earth. 

I'll just quote to you 1 Peter 2 and verse 23, 1 Peter 2:23. I'll just remind you of these words, that when He was reviled, what did He do? Didn't revile in return. It says when He suffered, He didn't get up and threaten. It says, but He committed Himself --- He gave His life over to Him who judges righteously. Can we do that? When we're treated poorly, can we give it all over to God and say, “You're the righteous judge. You've got this. You'll handle it. I'm going to reflect You to them.” Christ clearly knew who He was. He knew what the family stood for --- and He understood the ultimate goal for each of those people that were made in God's image --- whom He loved while they were all still sinner --- whom He loved when we were still sinners. He showed the perfect example of goodness and kindness and being gentle.

[Luke 6] Verse 32, But if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. And if you lend to those from whom you hope to receive back, what credit is that to you? For even sinners lend to sinners to receive as much back. He's saying people can do these things even apart from God working in their lives. If you do that, people can do that. That's pretty normal. Love those who love us, do good to those who do good to us, lend and help those who we know can lend and help us at some point in our lives too. That's not advanced Christianity. Non-Christians can do that. Sinners do that --- it says here.

And then Christ delivers the take home message. Verse 35. If you're going to be one of my disciples, a family member of God. But love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons [you will be daughters, you will be children] of the Most High. Because that's what this family does. That's the character and the qualities They have. For He is kind, and this is the same word. That's who He is. He is this fruit of the Spirit. He is kindness. He is goodness. He is gentleness to the unthankful and the evil. That's who God and Jesus Christ and the family of God is. To the unthankful and the evil, They're kind, They're good and They're gentle. God is this chrestotes ……. or whatever the word is. He's kind. He's good. He's gentle. He's that way to people who never say “Thank you” to Him for all He has done, all He's created for them, the world He gave them, the talents He gave them. Even when they're unthankful, this is who He is. It says that even when they're evil, they're hurtful, this is who He is. 

Remember a principle of the Bible is God didn't desire to take you and I out of this world. He could have. He could have made it in a way where we turn our lives over to Him and we're gone. We go somewhere better. He says, “No, you'll remember back in the prayers that we read from Passover, “I don't desire that you take them out of this world. I do desire that you keep them from what Satan's trying to do to them and kill them. But I don't desire you to take them out of this world.” We live in this world. But then there's another principle that that doesn't mean we surround ourselves with people of this world in our inner circle. And the reason I want to bring this up is because to grow into the family members and to develop these qualities, we have to surround ourselves with those who can sharpen us. As we talk about iron sharpening iron, we have to be around those and surround ourselves with those who are going to encourage us to develop these qualities, to encourage us to do right.

And what I found interesting in this is that we're all familiar with the scripture that says that bad company corrupts what? Good habits, right? We're familiar with that scripture. But what we don't see on the surface is this is tied right into this Greek concept of kindness.

CONCLUSION

I'll end by quoting that scripture in 1 Corinthians 15 verses 33 and 34. 1 Corinthians 15:33 and 34 says, Do not be deceived: “Evil company corrupts good habits.” Evil companionship corrupts and this “good” is kindness. It is kind habits and practices. And then he tells us, Awake to righteousness, and do not sin: for some do not have the knowledge of God. And isn't that true! When we look around at this world, who has the knowledge of God? Who knows how they're supposed to be truly living? They might have moments of goodness and moments of love and a moment of kindness. We're supposed to awake to righteousness. God has put His spirit into your life to produce something that is not like the world. We want to surround ourselves with those striving to become like this God family. They will help us. They will encourage us. We of-and-by ourselves cannot develop this quality of kindness in our lives. It's only through yielding to what God is doing in us, asking daily for God to help us to develop this quality of His family in us. And then striving each day to yield and allow God to lead us to His Holy Spirit --- to be kind and gentle and good --- even to those who are not that way to us. Because if we just do it to those who treat us good, we're no better than anybody else. 

So how are you doing at this? That's the pause, right? How are we doing at this? Who in your life tends to get your harshness, your bitterness, your sharpness? Where in your life can you respond to criticism and hurt? But not how naturally it comes. You actually respond in kindness and goodness and gentleness --- especially in the situation where the opposite is what they deserve. Who in your life this week can you strive to model this quality of the God family, this quality of kindness and goodness and gentleness? Who can you reflect that to this week when they don't deserve it? You and I used to walk and have in our lives a whole bunch of things which we're now ashamed of. You and I still struggle in ways that don't align with the values of the God family. And because we know that, and because we've experienced this quality of the God family in our lives, His chrestotes, His kindness, His goodness, His gentleness --- when we didn't deserve it, when we treated Him as an enemy, through God's Holy Spirit, through prayer and through the word we don't often like, “fasting” --- we can humble ourselves before God. We can ask God to help grow this one quality in our lives this week to become more kind --- as a branch off the very vine of Jesus Christ.