Complaining

Complaining

Steve Corley

Given as sermon in Kingsport on Sabbath, December 22, 2018

Given in Roanoke on Sabbath, November 30, 2024

We live in a complaining culture.  People out in the world complain about everything and everybody.  The Internet is full of people who vent their wrath against anyone who does not meet their own humanly devised standards.  Sometimes it seems that nothing is good enough for the people of this world.  No matter how well things are going for them, their attitude is that the situation always could – and should – be better.  When something goes wrong for them, they are not the ones to blame for whatever happened – other people, or some outside forces, are.  In their own mind they are the victims.  We have a culture of victimization.

Sometimes the complaints may be justified (possible example being the “Me Too” movement of women who are past victims of sexual assault from men in authority).  Sometimes the women are totally innocent – the sexual assault was forced on them when they had done nothing to encourage it. However, one has to consider the question – did the woman go to a party such as a fraternity party, for example, where she already knew that sexual assaults were likely to happen?  Was she one who would have gladly accepted a request for illicit premarital sex from another man – just not the one whom she claimed to have assaulted her?  All too often complaints show a wrong attitude – “it is John Doe’s fault, not mine.” In this sermon I would like to look at complaining through a number of Biblical and other examples and show, in contrast, the correct attitude we should have.  We can title the sermon simply “Complaining.”

We have just observed our national day of Thanksgiving – and we should have been learning how to be thankful.  Complaining is the opposite of thankfulness.  When we complain about our situation we are griping because we think things rightfully should be better for us than they are.  We are not thinking about all the people out in the world who are worse off – and often much worse off – than we are. Instead of thanking God for all the blessings we have and which He has given us, when we complain we are focusing on something we do not have which we think we rightfully should have. Remember that Lucifer, who became Satan, thought he did not have the position he deserved (Isaiah 14:13-14) and he wants to inject this attitude into us (e.g., Matt. 4:8-9). 

Before we complain about something we need to think it through and make sure we are not directly or indirectly accusing God.  Since it is not God’s will that any should perish (2 Peter 3:9, 1 Tim. 2:4) any accusation of God, any criticism of Him, direct or indirect, is always wrong.  Before God we should be compliant, not offering complaints. 

Let’s look at some Biblical examples of complaining. The first account of human complaining is that of Cain in Gen. 4:13 when he said that the punishment decreed on him for Abel’s murder was greater than he could bear.  Notice how he was focusing on the negative and also accusing God. Cain would not accept the blame and acknowledge his guilt.  He was not realizing that God was being merciful to him by giving him a lesser punishment than execution – he was a murderer and had earned the death penalty. How could Cain have properly reacted? A proper answer might have been “I have sinned terribly in murdering my brother.  He gave a proper offering and I did not and You called me out for that violation.  I allowed resentment to build up in my mind – in violation of the command You gave me that I must master the urge to sin – and it led me to murder.  As a murderer I realize that I deserve to die and that if You give me a lesser punishment it is out of Your mercy.  I thank You with humble gratitude for whatever mercy You may choose to show me.”

Many notorious examples of complaining occurred during the Israelite journey through the wilderness.  At Marah (Ex. 15:24), Rephidim (Ex. 17:2-3) and Meribah-Kadesh (Num, 20:2-5) they complained about the lack of water, or of drinkable water, despite all the miracles they had seen in which God had taken care of them. Instead of praying to God to supply water they chose to murmur among themselves and complain to Moses.  In Ex. 16:2-3 they similarly complained about the lack of food, not realizing that God was going to miraculously supply them with manna.  Later in Numbers 11 they complained about the lack of meat because they were dissatisfied with the manna God had given them, even though it contained all the nutrients needed for their sustenance (another example of focusing on what they did not have and forgetting the blessings which God had given them).  How could the Israelites in the wilderness have properly addressed the situation?  Something like this would have been far better than what they did: “In this place we now have no water (or food, or whatever).  We realize that the God who opened the Red Sea that we might pass through can also supply the water we lack at this campsite.  Moses, please beseech God to supply us water.”

What about when Israel demanded a king (1 Sam. 8:5)?  This was a classic example of the form of complaining in which the complainer sees an actual problem but proposes his own solution and will be satisfied with no other potential solution.  In most workplaces people are taught that we must try to understand the nature of a problem as much as we reasonably can before proposing a solution – otherwise we will try to implement a solution which is not likely to work.  In this case the people demanded their own solution without trying to understand the problem and ended up rejecting God as their ruler (verse 7).  How could the people better have approached Samuel regarding a king?  “Your sons, whom you have appointed as judges and possible successors in your office, are corrupt.  Please take appropriate action to stop their corrupt behavior – you might need to remove them from office.  Have you thought about the possibility that a kingship might be a better form of government?  Remember that God specifically allows the establishment of a monarchy (Deut. 17:14-15). However, we do realize that it might not be the best option for Israel right now.  Please find out what God’s will is in this situation and carry out what He says.”

How about the servant who received one talent in the parable and did not use it properly but rather buried it?  When the Master confronted him (Matt. 25:24), his response was to accuse the Master of being unreasonably severe in His demands (sounds like the people who accuse God’s Law of being a burden). Rather, a proper response would have been “I have not been a good servant.  I allowed myself to become resentful because I had not been given as much as the others and this resentment led me to bury the talent You did give me instead of multiplying it.  My failure to accomplish is my own fault and not Yours.  I beg for forgiveness and I throw myself on Your mercy.”

One of the most egregious examples of complaining shown in the Bible was that of Judas Iscariot who complained when Mary, the sister of Martha and Lazarus, anointed the feet of Jesus with costly fragrant oil a few days before His crucifixion (John 12:3-8).  This was direct and knowing criticism of God – coming from the mouth of the one whom Jesus had called “a devil” (John 6:70-71 – note the two verses immediately before).  What would have been the proper reaction?  A disciple who was sincerely puzzled by the anointing might have said, “I know You are God in the flesh.  You have always taught us generosity to the poor – I remember how You counseled the rich young ruler.  I do not yet understand why You permitted the very expensive anointing. Please enlighten me, please let me know so that I might understand better.”

In more modern history, Hitler and Stalin, for example, were both major complainers.  Hitler built his political career by complaining that Germany had been given a raw deal by other nations (in the Treaty of Versailles which ended World War I) and by promising to avenge all the alleged wrongs.  He blamed German Jews for allegedly being in league with the foreign powers and felt free to murder them in vengeance against the objects of his complaints.  (Remember that Hitler got the Germans on his side by complaining against foreigners, just as the rebel Absalom had brought the people to his side (2 Sam. 15:3-6) by criticizing the failure of his father David to appoint enough judges.)  Finally, at the end of World War II was approaching and Germany faced certain defeat, did Hitler “come clean” and acknowledge his own wrongs in leading Germany into aggressive war against other nations? No.  Rather, Hitler blamed the German people, not himself, for losing the war – he took the attitude that they were not worthy of “having a leader as great as he was” and that the German people did not deserve to survive.  In Stalin’s case, it was the capitalist outside world which he alleged was conspiring against the Soviet Union, together with internal “enemies” whom he claimed to be their agents.  Just as Hitler did with the Jews, Stalin murdered millions of these internal “enemies of the people” in revenge against the objects of his complaints.

Also – in this regard, when we hear complaints from others, we have to be very careful about joining in.  Is the complaint constructive and does it actually contribute to fixing the problem, or is it an attempt to tear down the person or system which is being complained about?  Hitler’s criticisms and complaints were not constructive.  He wasn’t trying to renegotiate the Versailles Treaty, to help the German people – he just wanted power.  Sadly the Germans bought his arguments and he led Germany – and Europe – to ruin.  Similarly, note that Absalom did not have the welfare of the people at heart but rather his own power (cf. Luke 22:25).

On the other hand, there are also a number of Biblical examples of people who dealt properly with trials without complaining or accusing God.  There is a sharp difference between properly and objectively presenting the facts of a bad situation, and instead “crossing the line” to act in an accusatory manner.  Job fell into a bad attitude during part of his trial (while taunted by his “friends”) and ended up accusing God of being unfair (chapters 29 through 31 of Job).  However, when confronted by Elihu and then by God Himself, Job deeply repented (Job 42:1-6). 

When Moses failed to give God the honor at Massah/Meribah (Num. 20:10-12), God told him that the penalty would be that he would not be permitted to cross the Jordan and lead Israel into Canaan. Moses did later ask God to reconsider the penalty (Deut. 3:23-27), but when God was firm Moses did not complain. 

David showed no complaints at the penalties which God levied on him for committing adultery with Bathsheba and arranging the planned death of her husband Uriah in battle (Psalm 51) – rather he showed profound repentance.  In his response to Nathan’s parable in 2 Sam. 12:1-4 David basically stated that he deserved the death penalty for what he had done and was very grateful to God that only lesser penalties had been pronounced on him.  Similarly, when he was told by God (through the prophet) that there would be a penalty for David’s taking a military census, David cried out at the taking of innocent lives in the plague and said he himself (as the guilty one) should have died instead (2 Sam. 24:17).  Far from complaining!  No wonder that David was called a man after God’s own heart (1 Sam. 13:14). 

Similarly, Paul suffered from some type of physical infirmity (perhaps poor eyesight – cf. Gal. 6:11, Rom. 16:22) and prayed that he might be healed (2 Cor. 12:7-10).  Note how Paul simply presented the facts in prayer and asked God for healing, but without any complaining about his condition.  But God’s answer to Paul’s request for healing was “No.” Paul accepted God’s answer and did not complain.  Paul’s attitude was one of being content in whatever situation in which he found himself (Phil. 4:11-12).

Notice that in Christ’s parable of the persistent widow (Luke 18:2-7), in which He used her attitude and behavior as an example for how we should think and do, the widow was simply begging the judge for justice.  She was not complaining or attacking the judge, even though the judge was unjust.

James summed up what should be our general attitude toward trials and adversities in James 1:2-3 and 12.

Does all this mean we should never complain about anything?  Not necessarily.  There are problems with systems and there are abuses which need to be brought out into the open.  Guidelines for “proper” complaining – the complaints must be focused on the problems in a humanly devised system, or else on the behavior of specific human beings (and in the latter case we must make sure that any charges are actually true!   In any case, we must be very careful about accusing others or charging them with improper motives – we do not know their minds.)  Above all, if we choose to complain, we must make sure that we are never doing something which amounts to criticizing God.  Remember that the Pharisees had added many of their own rules to God’s Law (in violation of Deut. 4:2) and had turned it into a burden (Matt. 23:4) when God’s Law in its pure form is a law of liberty (James 2:12) and His commandments are not burdensome (1 John 5:3, Matt. 11:28-30).  Criticizing the Pharisees’ additions to the Law was right and proper and Christ Himself did this most notably in Matthew 23. However, when one complains about the Law itself – as if it were a burden – he has “crossed the line.”  To do such is to criticize God.

For example – the intersection of I-81 and I-26 is poorly designed because of the very short merge lanes.  In going from Kingsport to the airport, Johnson City to Knoxville, Knoxville to Kingsport or from the airport to Johnson City, one has a very short distance to slow down and merge into the turn lane, and then to do the reverse after making the turn.  This problem is due to poor design totally by humans and probably can legitimately be complained about, since we are in no way criticizing God.  (However, we do not know what problems the engineers and construction workers might have faced when they designed and built the intersection – maybe they did the best they could within the constraints they were given. Also, there is no real point in making complaints which will not contribute to fixing the problem – our energies can be better spent in simply warning unfamiliar drivers about the hazards of the intersection).  Thomas Edison did not waste his time complaining about darkness.

Similarly – we can criticize policies which have caused severe weather events to be much more destructive than they otherwise would be. An example might be development policies which promote building in flood plains or on barrier islands where buildings are highly subject to stream flooding or to hurricane storm surges.  We have seen from Hurricane Helene the devastation of houses and other buildings which were built in flood plains – although many of the buildings were above the level of any flood which had occurred since records had been kept.  The fact that a flood plain exists – a flat area along a creek or river which is surrounded by higher ground – is testimony that the stream has flooded to the highest level of the flood plain many times in the past.  And a flood is likely to reach that level again – as tragically happened during Hurricane Helene.  Another example might be failure of a city to buy adequate snow removal equipment, with the result that streets remain impassable for days after a major snowstorm. However, when we complain about the weather itself, that is different.  We need to think – who is the only One who can change the weather?  (I am not talking about human-caused climate change.)  Here we need to make sure that we are not in effect criticizing God!

As I mentioned at the beginning, we live in a complaining society and we hear complaints about anything and everything from all sides out in the world.  But, as we have seen from a number of Biblical and other examples, as Christians we need to be very careful before complaining – or joining in the complaints we hear from others.  We need to ask ourselves whether such a complaint would be constructive, whether it would actually contribute to fixing the problem which is being complained about, or helping the person who is the target of the complaint to do better.  If it is not helpful – we need to avoid making, or joining in, the complaint.  Above all, before we complain about something we need to think carefully and make sure we are not directly or indirectly criticizing God.  If we follow these principles we will probably end up complaining a lot less – and we will spend more of our time looking forward to a complaint-free eternity in God’s Kingdom.