Forgiving Others

Hello again, everyone! You know, we really have a lot to be thankful for, don't we? You know, we live in a world of beauty, to a large extent. I was driving here, and I noticed the Wichita Mountains, and they have their beauty. And, you know, there's so many beautiful places on this earth, and it's a real joy to be able to travel, to get around and see so much beauty. So, in many ways, we also have a world of happiness. I mean, there's a lot of happiness in the world. I mean, it's not all happiness, for sure, but there's still quite a bit of happiness in many respects. God's been very gracious to us. You know, He's given us a lot of good times. Again, at the same time, we do live in a world full of pain, a world full of heartache, full of all types of sins that cause a tremendous amount of pain and agony for the sinner, and for also the one being sinned against. People get high on drugs, they get high on alcohol, they sometimes do devastating harm for themselves. And to those who know them, whether they're family or friends, people will also lie to one another. That's pretty rampant. They cheat one another, they use and abuse one another in so many different ways. People steal from one another, they even kill one another. People dishonor one another. So people truly do all manner of evil, one to another. So is it any wonder that people have a hard time forgiving one another? Is it any wonder that people have a hard time forgiving each other? Because there is a lot of sin out there, and it does affect us in very negative ways. So it's not always easy to forgive someone when they've harmed us. Do you personally, at least sometimes, have a hard time forgiving others for what they may have done to you, or perhaps to someone else, someone that you love? You know, frankly, that's where our Savior Jesus Christ comes to the rescue, and He shows us the way past resentment and the way past hatred. Christ, of course, was perfect. You know, He never sinned. He was innocent in every way. He never had evil desires. He was certainly tested in every way as we are, yet He was without sin. He was tested in that Satan would try to tempt Him to do evil things, but Christ was perfect. He did not sin. He never stole from anyone. He never cheated anyone. He didn't take advantage of anyone. He was never jealous. He was not envious. He was not jealous in the wrong sense. You know, I'm sure He was jealous with a godly jealousy, but not in a wrong sense. He never sinned in anger. Yes, He was angry, but He never sinned in that anger because it was the right type of righteous indignation when He cast out the money changers from the temple, for example. He never had selfish ambitions. Of course, Christ, when He was here on the earth, He never murdered anyone. I mean, you can't read anything in the Bible about Christ killing someone. He was gentle. He didn't abuse people. He never gossiped. Christ was loving. He was joyful. He was peaceful and patient and kind and good and faithful and gentle and self-control. And you probably recognize all of those things as the fruits of God's Holy Spirit, because Christ was led by the Spirit of God. He was conceived of the Holy Spirit. God's Spirit dwelt in Him. And so, He had these wonderful characteristics. He produced all of the fruits of the Spirit in great abundance. He never sinned, and yet, of course, He was crucified. He died a very horrible, shameful death because of the sins of mankind, including your sins and mine. We all had a part to play in the death of Jesus Christ.

What did Christ say when He was about to die on the stake? Do you remember what He said? Please, Father, see that they get what they deserve for killing me, for crucifying me. We know He didn't say that. We know what He did say. He said, Father, forgive them for they know not what they do. That's a pretty good attitude, isn't it? Forgive them they don't really know what they're doing. I've had to think of that many times when I've been mistreated. Forgive them, God. They really don't know what they're doing here.

So, every year we observe the Passover, and that pictures Christ's sacrifice. It pictures God's forgiveness for each and every one of us who have come under the blood of Christ. You know, we've been baptized. We've gone under that watery grave. We've had our sins forgiven because we had faith in Christ. We accepted Him as our Savior. We were repentant of our sins.

So, again, this sacrifice, it pictures His forgiveness for us. But do we want to forgive others just as badly as we want Christ to forgive us? Think about that for a moment. You know, when you come here on Passover, are you not really, really, really, really, really grateful that God forgives your sins and that they're not held over your head any longer and the death penalty has been paid? And you know that you can actually live for eternity with Christ and with the Father because your sins have been forgiven. But do you have a genuine forgiving heart and mind in that same way? All of us, I'm sure, would have to say, well, you know, I'm not Christ yet. We're not perfect in that. We have to work on it. We have to try to develop that sort of forgiving mind and heart. But remember, if we are unable to forgive, then we're certainly hurting ourselves. We're hurting those around us. And ultimately, remember, we will be forgiven in the same manner that we forgive others. So if we don't forgive others, and basically forgiveness on a human level is no longer harboring hatred and resentment. That's really what forgiveness is for us. I mean, we can't forgive sins, but we can forgive what a person has done to us. And we can no longer we can stop harboring the hatred and the resentment. And that's really what human forgiveness is primarily all about, is no longer carrying that hatred and that resentment.

Being unable to forgive is both spiritually and physically debilitating. It is very, very harmful in both spiritual and physical ways if we're unable to forgive. And I'm sure all of us have had to struggle with that to some degree. I mean, I haven't had to struggle with it, I'm sure, as much as a lot of people, because they probably haven't been wronged in ways that other people have. And it's harder for them to forgive. The more you've been wronged, the more you've been abused and all that, the more difficult it becomes. But with God's help, we can certainly learn to forgive, and we can develop what I call a spirit of forgiveness. And that's what the title of this sermon is. It's a spirit of forgiveness.

God will help us develop a spirit of forgiveness. And of course, when we have God's Holy Spirit, we're well on our way to developing that spirit of forgiveness, because God's spirit is, of course, a spirit of forgiveness. So do you have a spirit of forgiveness? Or perhaps are you still harboring hatred and resentment toward someone? I want to share something with you that I may, I think I may be 14 years ago. Let's see how many of you can still remember this. Some of you weren't even here 14 years ago. Robert wasn't even born 14 years ago. So I know he probably didn't hear this. Unless I gave it some other time in between. I can't remember. According to my notes, it was 14 years ago. So let me ask you this. How many of you have been stung by a wasp?

Okay, almost everyone. Was it a pleasurable experience? None of us like to get stung by wasps or anything else, for that matter. Well, there's a certain type of wasp and it's called a jewel wasp or an emerald cockroach wasp. Is that bringing back memories? Do you remember me sharing this with you? Okay, it's a jewel wasp or an emerald cockroach wasp and it stings, actually stings a cockroach and it injects it with an intoxicating poison. This is supposedly true. I found it on the internet. No, it's supposedly true. I did check it out to some degree, so unless everybody was lying. Okay, so it stings this cockroach, it injects it with an intoxicating poison. Now, the wasp isn't strong enough to just pick up the cockroach. So the wasp leaves the cockroach. See, the cockroach isn't dead. It's intoxicated. It's drunk. So he leaves the cockroach wherever he wants to by taking hold of the wasp antenna and it follows along. So this drunken cockroach just goes right along with the wasp. Now, the wasp doesn't generally eat the cockroach itself. Instead, the wasp lays eggs on the cockroach. And as the eggs develop, they literally suck the life out of the cockroach. That's how it feeds its little ones.

Now, it's actually a very good analogy. I have a reason for telling you this story. There's a very good analogy here. And it is when you think about hatred as a harmful, deadly poison. Okay, hatred is like that. It's like a harmful, even deadly poison. Hatred and being unable to forgive, they go hand in hand. We are generally able to forgive because we are harboring hatred and resentment toward an offending person. That's why we can't forgive them. That's why we can't get over it because we still are hating them. We are so embittered by what they've done to us that we have this hatred and resentment toward an offending person. So that type of attitude, having this hatred and this resentment, is very debilitating. It's very like the poison that clouds the feelings and the perception of the cockroach. And if we harbor this attitude of resentment and hatred, we may even become physically ill. We can certainly become spiritually depressed. And in a very real sense, because of the hatred and resentment that clouds our thinking, Satan can then lead us wherever he wants us to go. So that's the analogy. Satan can lead us around if we continue to harbor hatred and resentment. We'll say stupid things. We'll do stupid things. We can, as I said, become even physically ill because of this hatred that wells up within us. Now, our spiritual growth is stunted by the inability to forgive. And I remember there was a time when I had a hard time forgiving a situation. It was actually when I came into the ministry. I had my own business, and I had a certain deal with a couple of church members. And they didn't really follow through on what they were supposed to do in terms of payment. You know, like $65,000, which I never did see and still haven't to this day. So that kind of bothered me for a while. I mean, I had to really watch my attitude because I did harbor some resentment. But eventually I did get over that, and I could say that I don't have any resentment. And I haven't for 20-plus years. Thankfully, I got over it fairly quickly. But there were a few months there, maybe a year, when sometimes I'd wake up in the middle of the night, and I could just sense the resentment that was there. So I've experienced that to some degree. And I know it can be debilitating spiritually, and you just can't let it get the best of you. You can't develop a spirit of a root of bitterness toward anyone or anything, because that can really hurt you spiritually. Now, I'm sure many of you have heard of Alex Haley, at least the older ones. How many have heard of Alex Haley? Do you remember Alex Haley? Some of the older ones do. Alex Haley is a black man. You probably heard him because he has... No, wait. Alex Haley. He's got a real deep voice, right? Alex Haley?

Maybe I'm thinking of someone else. But anyway, Alex Haley... Oh, I'm thinking of a guy that wrote that... Anyway, yeah, he wrote Roots. Roots was a story about slavery back in the... Well, from the time they brought Africans over on ships and made them slaves of the white man. And there was a very moving scene with Kunta Kinte. I think Kunta Kinte was born and he held him up to the moon, or probably some pagan gesture. But anyway, some of you remember that. There was Chicken George. Chicken George was part of that series. So it was a series that dealt with the history of a black family that began when a man was enslaved and brought to America. So Alex Haley thought a lot about the subject of hatred because it was his family. He was... It was back in his ancestry where these Africans were brought over. He said something very insightful about hatred in his own life. He said, hatred at its best will distort you. At its worst, it will destroy you. If you harbor hatred, it will at least... At the very best, it's going to destroy you. At the worst, it will destroy you. But it will always immobilize you. It will always immobilize you. So if you have hatred, it's going to immobilize you. You're not going to be nearly as effective in dealing with issues that you need to deal with. If you have that in the back of your mind, if it's always constantly there. So it is very important to eliminate any type of hatred. And of course, those who don't repent of their hatred, they're not even going to be in the kingdom of God. You know, what did Christ say about murdering someone? You murdered them in your heart. If you hate them, you murdered them in your heart.

So that's something that we have to get rid of. It is a deadly poison. It can poison a friendship. Brotherly love, on the other hand, is a gauge for the true Christian, correct? How shall we know? If you're truly Christ's disciple, if you have love one for another. Christ's disciples are to have love for each other. So that's very, very important that we develop love and we put hatred out. It's like that unleavened bread that we put out during the days of unleavened bread. Hatred is very leavened. We need to put it out of our lives.

So how many of us have been immobilized to greater spiritual growth because we bear some hatred? Perhaps in the inner recesses of our mind, and we don't really want to think about it. We don't want to deal with it. We've pushed it way to the back, and we're able to function and live with it. But really, every now and then it comes out and it's ugly. Well, we need to deal with those things and not continue to hold grudges because that's what it is, to grudge.

I've seen grudges in my own family back a few generations back. My grandparents and my father, there was a big grudge going on there. My dad was not allowed in my grandparents' home.

So we couldn't all get together. They had their reasons. Trust me, they had some fairly good reasons why that was the case. But it wasn't really healthy for the family. It would have been healthier if we could have all gotten over that and made the best of it. You know, one thing about the Church of God is we realize who we're supposed to be and what we're supposed to be, but getting there is still a process, right? It doesn't happen overnight. Even though we'd like to be a certain way, we're not just automatically that way. And I don't know that anyone here has ever felt this way or ever done this. I would hope not. I would hope not. But I'm sure that in the history of the Church of God, people have done what I call the Passover shuffle. And that's where you find yourself in line and you've got to wash someone's feet. And you don't really like that person. And you don't really want to wash their feet. And you don't want them washing your feet. And so you make it so you're not right next to them.

Now, I have a feeling that's probably happened in the Church of God over the years. You know, maybe not. Maybe not. But I'm carnal enough to think it's probably happened. I can't say that I've ever done it, unless you think that's how I know. No, but I'm just thinking, human nature as it is. And I've seen some grudges in the Church of God. I've seen some pretty hard feelings amongst people in the Church of God. So it wouldn't surprise me if even though it may not be thought out clearly, it may be going on. All right, so that's certainly not something we should do, because the Passover is all about forgiveness. About Christ forgiving us.

So it doesn't make sense to be there at the Passover playing the Passover shuffle.

Now, I'm aware of some of you who don't even come to church because someone else does. Have you ever heard of that kind of situation where they refuse to come to church because so-and-so goes there?

That's right. I have run into that. They might drive an extra 30 or 40 miles to go to a different church just so they don't have to be in the same congregation. And in some ways, you can understand that because if things happen within a family, maybe even a divorce situation, you can see where that would be pretty tough to go to the same congregation as your ex. Of course, probably shouldn't have ever been that type of situation in the first place. But you can imagine that human beings, as they are, that something like that has happened on occasion.

I'd like to read something to you now that I think you'll find quite thought-provoking. I think I read this to you 14 years ago, too, but you probably don't remember it either.

It's on page 13-15 in a book called Forgive to Live. It's really an excellent book. If you do have any problems forgiving someone, it might be a good investment for you. If you're having trouble getting over some kind of hatred or resentment towards someone, it's really quite an excellent book. I'm going to read from a chapter entitled... oh, wait, no, that's not the right chapter, is it? Here it is. Okay, this is a... it's actually... it's a parable about forgiveness, is what we're going to do. We're going to... I'm going to give you a parable about forgiveness. It's called Drop the Rock. So listen carefully. It's rather long, but I think you'll find it interesting. It begins, life is hard in Dura. Countless times each day, that lament was heard from the townspeople and for good reason. Through the years, Dura had become literally a very hard place to live. Rocks covered the landscape, making it impossible to grow flowers or to even jog in the park. Rocks lay everywhere in the land. It was just completely covered with rocks. Now, how did this come to be? Well, as the tragic story goes, an evil sorcerer cast a powerful spell upon the town.

Through your eyes you will not see a life of joy or hope or glee. Through your mouth, where curses flock, every angry word shall turn into a rock. That's why there were so many rocks around. Whenever someone spoke an unkind or hurtful word, it instantly became a hot rock. Not just a rock, but a hot rock.

Like everyone in Dura, Koss had too often been the victim of unkind and hurtful words. Rocks of all sizes and shapes had pelted him. And also, like everyone else in Dura, Koss never felt content to merely watch those rocks fall to the ground. How could he? They had hurt too much when they struck him. That's why Koss developed the habit of keeping a rock or two in his hands.

A hot rock, mind you. If the occasion presented itself, he could throw one back at the person who had caused him pain. So he was always ready to retaliate. However ugly that strategy might sound, no one ever confronted Koss about his behavior because everyone in Dura did the very same thing. Oh, they all knew from experience that holding a hot rock would blister their hands, but they believed the pain would be worth it once they got the opportunity someday to even the score by throwing back a rock at the one who had hurt them.

When a rock began to cool, as it always did, the people of Dura took it to the center of town where an enormous furnace named grievance stood. There they could heat up their rock until it once more glowed fiery red, and as it was warming, they told each other their sorrowful tales. It's not my fault that my hands are burned. Each would say it's their fault. They threw the rock first. I'm just holding it so that someday I can throw it back.

One day, however, Koss and the other people of Dura got the shock of their lives. A robust, cheerful man with compassion in his eyes came striding into town, declaring that none of the townspeople had to live in misery any longer. My name's Salah. S-A-L-A. Salah, he announced. And I want you to know that you can be free of these rocks you carry around wherever you go. What you need is forgiveness. You don't have to keep living like you've been living.

Some of the townspeople sneered, while others gasped or stared blankly ahead. Could there really be a better life? Impossible. It's the only life they ever knew. Salah ignored the jeers and he continued. Simply put, forgiveness is learning how to drop your rocks. You don't have to collect them. You don't have to carry them. You don't have to be burdened by them. You don't have to heat them up or throw them. In fact, I guarantee that if you'll drop them, your whole life will improve. Your hands will begin to heal. And you'll have the time and the energy to do the fun things that you've always wanted to do, but never believed that you could.

It can't be that simple, Kost thought. How could it possibly work? He had to speak out. Now hold on, Mr. Kost began. You mean to tell me that if someone throws a rock at me, I can't throw it back?

That's not fair. Why should I let the other guy off the hook? He needs to be punished. No, sir, your way won't work. And I'm not falling for it. With that, Kost spun on his heels and hustled away as fast as he could from Salah, and is too good to be true words. In his headlong retreat, however, Kost failed to notice that a few in the crowd had already decided to give Salah's counsel a try. They dropped their rocks and immediately noticed something truly remarkable.

The scars on their hands caused by carrying the hot rocks for so many years began to heal. These people had always worried that forgiving would be letting their offenders off the hook. But they learned dropping their rocks actually made their own lives better. Soon the people of Dura were throwing fewer rocks, so fewer rocks came hurtling back at them. In fact, in some yards, the rocks were so scarce that flowers began to break through the newly exposed ground.

Who would have believed that life's burdens could be so easily removed by simply dropping the rock? All right, well, I think you get the overall point of the parable.

It makes good sense to drop the rocks and to stop harboring hatred and resentment against someone who's wronged you, someone who's thrown a rock at you. What did Christ say when that thing happens? Turn the other cheek. Isn't that what he said? If someone smites you on one cheek, then give them the other one. Don't respond in kind. Don't do the same thing back to them that they're doing to you. Now, Matthew 18 in the Bible is certainly an important chapter in the Bible. It has a lot to say about sin and dealing with sin in the church.

Now, we might recognize Matthew 18 as the go to your brother chapter. That's the go to your brother chapter. It's interesting when you read that passage in context that it is bookended by passages that show the importance of forgiveness and going above and beyond in our efforts to bring back a lost brother. There's a reason for that. Going to your brother who has gone astray is an important principle. The purpose is to help restore him to a right relationship with God and or to you as the person that he is sinned against. But before we can go to our brother, we must understand forgiveness and what our part in the forgiveness process is. Without this knowledge, we are getting the cart before the horse, and we're on the path to failure even before we get started. So, actually, I gave a series of three sermons in Dallas-Fort Worth in the past few months. The first one was this sermon, the Spirit of Forgiveness. And then I gave two more on going to your brother and how to implement Matthew 18 in your life. So, that's what I'll do here eventually. Whether I do it all in a row, that remains to be seen. But there's two more sermons that will follow this sermon sometime down the line. They kind of go together because this one sets the tone for the other two sermons about going to your brother. You have to have a Spirit of Forgiveness when you go to your brother. If you don't have a Spirit of Forgiveness when you go to your brother, it's not going to go well. So, that's the starting point. That's why we began with this sermon. So, let's go to Matthew 18.

And let's see that the passage immediately following go to your brother underscores the importance of forgiveness. Let's go to Matthew 18 and let's start in verse 21. Matthew chapter 18. And the next couple of sermons will build off of what I'm going to say now in Matthew chapter 18.

Matthew 18 verse 21. Then Peter came to him to Christ and said, Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me? And I forgive him. How many times can he throw a rock at me? And I have to forgive him. Up to seven times, Jesus said to him, I do not say to you up to seven times, but up to 70 times seven. So, that's what 490 times. That's quite a few times for one individual, you know, to be throwing that many rocks at you. That's a lot of rocks. Verse 23. Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him 10,000 talents. But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold with his wife and children, and all that he had, and that payment be made. Now the servant therefore fell down before him, saying, Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all. And the master of that servant was moved with compassion. He released him, and he forgave him the debt. But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him 100 denarii, which is miniscule compared to what he owed this other person. Very tiny sum in comparison. But this man laid hands on him and took him by the throat and said, Pay me what you owe. So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, Have patience with me, and I will pay you all. But he would not. And he went out and threw him into the prison till he should pay the debt. I guess they must have got paid a little bit in prison. I mean, I never did understand. It didn't make a whole lot of sense to me that you're going to pay it back quicker in prison. Anyway, so when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved and they came and told their master all that had been done. Then his master, after he called him, said to him, You wicked servant, I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Ask and you shall receive. Okay, that came true for this man. He asked, he received. Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you? And his master was angry and he delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him. Verse 35, So my heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you from his heart does not forgive his brother his trespasses. So see, this is very important when we consider going to our brother. We have to have this spirit of forgiveness. We have to be willing to forgive our brother. It isn't that you shouldn't go to him if he sinned against you. You should have a spirit of forgiveness when you go, but you should still go to him and make him aware that he wronged you and that's not the right thing to be doing. I mean, we're told to go to our brother when they sin against us. So what we just read immediately follows, go to your brother. So let's go back to verse 10 now and read a little bit more here. We'll get the context. This is called getting the context of this particular few verses. Matthew 18, verse 15 through 18, talking about going to our brother. Then let's read verse 10.

So this is all tied in together. This parable of the lost sheep. If someone's lost, we should want to go help them. Bring them back to the flock because we're all brothers. We're all sisters in Christ. We love each other, right? We're known to be Christ's disciples for the love that we have for each other. So when once when one has gone astray, then we should seek to bring that person back. And again, moreover, if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. Keep it private. Go to him and say, look, I really didn't appreciate what you did. That hurt me. That wasn't right. So you're supposed to go to him and earn in hopes of winning your brother and helping him see what he had done. So if he hears you, then you've gained your brother. If you go to your brother and say, you know, that really bothered me. And he says, well, I'm sorry. I never realized it. I never looked at it that way. I can see why you felt that way. And I'm sorry. I should have never done that. Then you've gained your brother. But if he won't hear, if he will not hear, take with you one or two more that by the mouth of two or three witnesses, every word may be established. So if the person is recalcitrant, in other words, if he won't listen, he's stubborn, and you go to him and you humbly, underline the word humbly, you go to him humbly because you have a spirit of forgiveness. So you go to him humbly and you discuss the issue with him, but he becomes obstinate and stubborn and defensive and won't admit what he's done.

Then take someone else with you. He says, take with you one or two more that by the mouth of two or three. He doesn't say bring a dozen, and it certainly doesn't say gossip to everyone you see and tell everyone all about this dirty rotten scoundrel who's treated you in such a manner. That isn't the appropriate way to deal with someone who's sinned against you. Go to him alone. If that doesn't work, then take one or two more. And it would be best if they already know the person, the people that you're taking, they know the person, the person respects them, they may even know a little bit about the situation. Take someone that the person might actually listen to. Don't take his worst enemy. That's not smart. So that every word may be established. And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. So to me, that means take it to the church authority because you don't really want to widen this to an entire congregation. You'd want to bring it to the authority, the minister. Let him try to deal with the person and hopefully something good will come of it and he will begin to listen then. That's the point. You know, you've established it, you've taken another witness with you, and then they come to you and say, look, we did what the Bible tells us to do. He just won't listen to us and he's continuing to sin and it's going to become a wider problem. Other people are going to hear about it. It's something that really needs to be dealt with. So then it becomes a minister's responsibility.

So if he refuses to hear, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, then let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector. And essentially, that's talking about when you have to disfellowship someone. You have to... and it's not just suspension. I think there's a difference. You know, I might suspend someone for a time for a couple of reasons. One is so that the person who's sinned will recognize that they've sinned and they'll see the seriousness of their sin. And usually it's because it's a blatant sin that's become known. Oftentimes, or the person is just unwilling to repent of a sin. I mean, normally I don't suspend anybody that is willing to listen unless they've done something that affects the whole congregation or has set a bad example. And you don't want that kind of sin to spread because a little leaven, leavens the whole lump. So it has to be dealt with appropriately. It has to be dealt with in a proper way. But someone who's suspended is not the same as someone who's absolutely marked and disfellowshipped. You know, there's a difference there. The suspension is in hopes of the person coming back. The minister continues to work with the person and hopefully in a month or two or three or four or some time, reasonably small amount of time, the person will be able to come back to the fellowship of the church. So it's a little like 1 Corinthians 5 where the person was having illicit relations with his stepmother. And finally, he was put out of the church. At first, the church was actually tolerating it and they weren't doing the right thing. And then the ministry got involved and the person was marked and disfellowshipped for a time. Or suspended, I don't know exactly. Basically, just cut off so he could see the gravity of his sin, repent of it, and then one day be restored. And that is what happened in Corinth, that the person was restored to fellowship. And so that was a happy ending. That was a good thing. So this gives you an idea that there are certain ways to go to your brother. And we'll talk more about that in the two sermons when I talk about go to your brother, some specific things to do, and not to do. So forgiving isn't easy, especially if you or someone you love has been terribly wronged. I believe that forgiveness is one of the hardest things for a human being to do, to forgive someone. That's one of the most difficult things to do. If you've really been hurt badly, it's not easy to forgive someone. Being able to say that you were wrong is also very hard. Being willing to admit that you made a mistake or that you sinned is difficult. And also being able to forgive someone who sinned against you, abused you in whatever way, that's a very difficult thing. It's not an easy thing to do. And sometimes it takes years to work through. Sometimes it's not an easy fix. You know, it takes time. Now, Christ, again, set the perfect example for us. He showed us how we can forgive others. Jesus Christ was like an innocent baby, a little lamb who was wronged terribly, completely abused, horribly beaten, suffering the shame of being stripped naked, being knelt to a stake, ridiculed on every side. He died a very shameful death of execution, of crucifixion. And why? I think largely so that we could see sin for what it really is. Sin is shameful, it's harmful, and it's deadly. That's what sin is. That's what killed our Savior, Jesus Christ. It's your sins, my sins, the entire sins of all of mankind. That's what killed Christ. Sin is horrible. So Christ shed his blood for all of us. He paid the penalty for our sins. And in doing so, he forgave all of us. He forgave all of us for killing him.

So you might think, well, that was Jesus. And of course, he was perfect. He's the Son of God. He can forgive, but he can't really expect a sinful human being like me to ever forgive like that. Is that possible? Well, there's actually an example in the Bible. Do you remember the example of Stephen?

Stephen was basically the first Christian martyr. He was the next person to die. Christ was crucified, and the next person to die that we read about anyway was Stephen. And it was because he believed in this Jesus that he knew had died for him. So let's go to Acts 7 and let's take a moment and look at this particular example in the Scripture here. Acts 7. It's a very powerful example of what a human being, a flesh and blood human being led by the Spirit of God is able to do when it comes to forgiveness. Stephen was able to drop the rocks and he was able to drop the rocks. Acts 7. Now, I'm not going to read everything that goes up to this, but it talks about exactly what happened. How Stephen stood up boldly for the truth of God. He did speak out boldly. It ended up being the cause of his death because he was very strong in how he talked to them. In fact, in verse 51, he calls them stiff-necked and uncircumcised in heart and ears. He was like Christ in that Christ didn't pull any punches when he went before, well, when he threw the money changers out of the temple, when he called the Pharisees hypocrites time after time after time. So Christ spoke boldly and so did Stephen.

He said, you always resist the Holy Spirit. As your fathers did, so did you. He talked about how the fathers killed the prophets and persecuted the prophets before Christ came along. Then you killed the Son of Man. You killed the Son of God. Of course, they were truly angered by all that he said. And so in verse 58, they cast him out of the city and they stoned him and the witnesses laid down their clothes at the feet of a young man named Saul. Now, of course, this is the same Saul who became known as the Apostle Paul. And they stoned Stephen as he was calling on God and saying, Lord Jesus received my spirit. He knew the spirit and man was about to go back to God who gave it because he was about to die. He was being stoned to death. Then he knelt down and he cried out with a loud voice, Lord, do not charge them with this sin. Basically the same thing that Christ said. Father, forgive them. They don't know what they're doing. They think they're doing God a service somehow. And that's what the Scripture tells us will happen in the future. That people will kill us or kill those who are alive at the time of Christ's return who are faithful to God and to Christ. They will kill them, some of them. Of course, others will be hidden and will be safe and protected, but some will die and become martyrs like Stephen. And so this is quite an example of Stephen here. Lord, do not charge them with this sin as they were murdering him. So he shows that it is possible for a human being led by the Spirit of God to be willing to forgive even your murderers.

So we are to cast our burdens on Christ because Christ truly cares for us. What greater burden to carry around than hatred and resentment caused by one who has grievously wronged us personally or wronged again one we dearly love. It may be that we harbor hatred and resentment towards someone who hurt one of our loved ones more than how they hurt us. But either way, it's something that we eventually have to deal with and realize that this hatred is like these hot rocks that these people in Dura can continue to carry around. They were hurting themselves by doing so, and it's really in our best interest to be able to get rid of the heart, to get rid of the hatred and the resentment that we harbor toward people who have done heinous things to us. I know it makes my blood boil when I see that these when people are wronged. I guess it bothers me as much as anything else to see someone being abused in certain ways, especially children. You know, it really galls us to see that sort of thing. And I'm sure that if someone was trying to harm my wife or my son, my daughter, people that I love, in fact, all of you. You know, I wouldn't like it. I wouldn't just stand by and watch it happen. I would try to try to do what I could to stop it from happening, and I would have to get involved in it. But then I would have to deal also with the anger that would naturally come with that. It would be easy to harbor hatred and resentment towards someone who's wronged, someone I love. Now, we all understand that God is love. That's what the Scripture tells us. God is love. And He wants us to become like Him. He wants us to be loving like He's loving. And love forgives. You know, that's what love is all about. Love is very forgiving. Now, it doesn't mean that love puts up with sin that just continues to go on and on. That's not what it's all about. I mean, there needs to be some level of repentance eventually down the line. However, it may come way down the line. In the meantime, we have to deal with the heart, the hatred, and the resentment. Just because someone's guilty doesn't mean it's okay to carry the hatred around. Just because someone has done us wrong, at the same time, it doesn't mean we just let them continue to abuse us either. We also need to stop the abuse in whatever way we need to. So we don't have to put up with all that. I mean, it depends on the level of abuse, obviously. Some things we can tolerate. Some emotional things, mental abuse, or whatever. Sometimes we have to live with things that are far from perfect. But when it comes down to actually physical abuse or hurting someone, then we have to get out of a situation like that.

In 1 John 4, let's go there and let's talk about God who is love. Let's consider this in the context of this sermon today. God is very forgiving, and we can be grateful that He is because we've all had things to be forgiven of, right? The wages of sin is death, and we've all broken God's holy law. We've all sinned against Him. We've all done that which was evil in His sight. So in 1 John 4, verse 7, let's start reading there.

Beloved, and this is the Apostle John speaking to us. He was very close to Christ. Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God, and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. Now, I doubt that John could have written this had he not known Christ so well. Had he not been around Him? Had he not seen how He treated people? Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God, and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son. So the Father sent His only Son into the world that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we love God, but that He loved us. And He sent His Son to be the propitiation or to be the mercy seat to pay the penalty for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. Now, it doesn't say you just basically says you need to learn to love everyone. And Christ showed us who our neighbor is. Our neighbor is someone who's in need, someone who needs help, even if they're a Samaritan. You know, even if it's not someone that we typically naturally would get along with, if they're in need, we're supposed to go out of our way like the Good Samaritan did. In this case, the Good Samaritan helped the person who was beaten and was along the road. And the Samaritans were hated by the Jews. So no one has seen God at any time. If we love one another, God abides in us, and His love has been perfected in us. By this, we know that we abide in Him and He in us because He has given us of His Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent the Son as Savior of the world. Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in Him and He in God.

And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love. He repeats Himself. God is love. And He who abides in love abides in God and God in Him. You can't really separate love from God, can you? God is love. That's what He's all about. That's His nature. That's His character. He's a loving being. And so when we look at how God deals with people, we understand more what love is all about. Love obviously isn't just letting people do whatever they want to do. That's not what love is all about because what's God going to do right before He sends His Son back? It's going to punish the earth, the people of the earth, for what they've done. Their sins that killed Jesus Christ. And people who have not repented and continue in their sins. And we can look throughout history and we can see that even though God is a God of love, God also is one who believes in justice. He believes in justice. He often forgives us and we don't get our just desserts, right? Don't we all? I mean, I often say, and I've heard other people say this, how are you doing? Well, a whole lot better than I deserve. That's for sure.

We're all doing better than we deserve. We're all still upright. We're alive. You know, the wages of sin is death and that's what we deserve. So we're all doing quite a bit better than what we deserve.

So let's continue reading a little bit more here. Verse 17, Love has been perfected among us in this, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment, because as he is, so are we in this world. We are to become bold as God is bold, as Christ was bold. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment, but he who fears has not been made perfect in love. We love him because he first loved us.

So again, we learn to love by seeing the example of God and by feeling and experiencing his love for us. We love him because he first loved us. If someone says, I love God and hates his brother, he's a liar. For he who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, how can he love God, whom he has not seen? In this commandment we have from him that he who loves God must love his brother also. You can't say you love God and have heart, have hatred and resentment for others. It doesn't go. It doesn't work. You know, you don't really love God the way you should if you are harboring hatred and resentment toward human beings, because you have to learn to love them. Father, forgive them. They don't know what they're doing. They're not called out yet. They haven't been given understanding that perhaps we that we've been given, so we have to cut them some slack, so to speak, and not hold it over their head as much as we might otherwise. You know, we are learning to forgive and to no longer harbor hatred and resentment. What did Christ say about our enemies? Hate your enemies. And there he said, love your enemies. Love those who despitefully use you and persecute you.

Does that not prove the point I'm trying to make here?

If Christ says to love your enemies, then harboring hatred and resentment against your enemies is contrary to what Christ said. Love your enemies. Pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you. It doesn't mean it's easy to do. And we'll have a lot more to say about how to do that, how to learn to forgive others, how to be able to cope with this, because it's not an easy thing. It's a difficult thing to forgive others and to get rid of some of that resentment and hatred that is in us. There's again a lot more that could be said, but God will change your life. He changed my life to a large degree because when I was 18, God began to call me. And there was a time when I really hated my dad because of the way he was. The way he treated my mother, the way he treated us, I basically grew to hate him as a teenager. I mean, in some ways, I probably didn't hate him completely, but there were certain ways in which I really did hate him. And I harbored a lot of resentment and hatred toward him. He's 88 years old, still kicking, has never said he's been wrong about anything in his life that I know of. I mean, I don't know. Maybe, you know, he's a lot different now that he's 88. He just stayed with us for about a week and we got along great and he's changed a lot for whatever reasons.

But I had to deal with the hatred and the resentment. That was really eating me up at that time. And it was all a part of being called. God took away that hatred and resentment. You know, I haven't had it since I was 19. And my dad wasn't, you know, he definitely wasn't straightened out yet. But I haven't had those issues of hatred and resentment toward my father, and I give all the credit to God. In fact, when God was calling me and I was beginning to see what this is all about, I prayed for my dad because dad was at a time he was an alcoholic and mom and dad had just gotten divorced while I was at college. And he was living in a dumpy old trailer that was filthy. And he was basically headed for the cesspool of life. You know, he was really going downhill quickly. He was an alcoholic, you know, he was just by... he was alone by himself. And it was a very sad situation. So I began to really pray fervently for my dad. And it was a miracle, you know. He got straightened out. He went to AA. He stopped the alcohol until he was like 85. That's another story. Maybe 82. But anyway, God definitely took that hatred and resentment. So I know it can happen. I know it's possible to get rid of that. And it happens when God's Spirit begins to really convict you and work with you and let you see that you got to get rid of that. You know, it's not healthy. It's not a good thing. Father, forgive them. They don't know what they're doing. They might know what they're doing to some degree, but they certainly don't fully understand. And so you have to just back off and no longer harbor that hatred and resentment.

So there's a lot more that I could talk about in regard to forgiveness. What it is, what it isn't. And I'll try to work that in in the next two sermons as we also talk about going to your brother. So I hope you will find this helpful. I find it's a very practical series of three sermons because we have to have a spirit of forgiveness. We have to be willing to go to our brother. And we have to know how to do it if we're going to get the right kind of results.

Because people say it doesn't work. I've had people come to me. That doesn't work. Matthew 18 doesn't work. I've had several people tell me it doesn't work. Well, I assure you it works if you do it the way it says. Now, you may not get the exact result you'd like to get because you can only control yourself. You can't control the other person that you're dealing with. However, oftentimes it will work if you do it properly. And if you do it the way God says you should. So that's what we'll be talking about in the next couple of sermons is how to go to your brother, how to do it in a godly way, how to get the kind of results that God wants you to be able to get.