A Godly Marriage

Good and bad is on display outside our church service. Whenever you walk outside a church service, you step into what society determines is the right thing to do, the best thing to do. You grew up in it. We all did. We were once part of it. We once saw the logic in it. If we go to Ephesians 2 and verse 1, we have a fairly familiar passage, I think. Ephesians 2 and verse 1, And you he made alive who were dead in trespasses and sins. So that concept of right and wrong, from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, is listed here as trespasses and sins. And there's no life in that. But, verse 2, In which you also walked according to the course, the way, the road of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit which now works in the sons of disobedience, among whom we also all once conducted ourselves. So let's leave all of that outside for a moment and let's step back into where the body of Christ is meeting. We are to come out of this world. It says in verse 10, we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them. So what we want to do today is forget any concept we have regarding marriage, male, female, that is outside of our church, our the body of Christ, and concentrate on what Jesus Christ has brought us to in verse 12, who were once afar off, but are now the people of God. In 2 Corinthians chapter 6 and verse 14, just a little to lay a little bit of framework here, 2 Corinthians chapter 6 and verse 14, do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. Let's forget about those other concepts. Let's recognize that we have the words of God, and the Word of God, Jesus Christ, is dwelling in us. He is our authority. He is our King. He is the head of his church. So let's pay attention to him. And here in verse 15 of 1 Corinthians chapter 6, it says, and what accord has Christ with the devil? Or what part as a believer with an unbeliever? If we drop down to verse 17, therefore, God says, come out from among them and be separate, says the Lord. Verse 18, and I will be a father to you. And if we come out of that, then he says, I'll be a father to you and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty. So with that bit of background, let's now step into a concept today of what is a godly marriage according to scripture. What is God telling us about marriage? Now, you may be physically married. All right? This Bible studies for you. You may be hoping to be married. This Bible studies for you. You may have been previously married. This Bible studies for you. Because if you are baptized or you one day hope to be baptized, you are married at this time, no matter what your physical relationship is with another human being. If you are baptized now, you are in a marriage covenant relationship, as we'll see from scripture. We are to be the wife of Jesus Christ. As we just read, we are His and we're to come out and we're to be led by Jesus Christ. So ignore the marriages outside this sphere of the body of Christ. Don't let them reinforce their concepts in you and me as we go out throughout the week or in our lifetime, bounce around out there. Ignore what you've come to think marriage should be like based on the culture that you grew up in and what marriage has always been, because marriage is different in this book than what has been societal norms, even in the good old times.

Today, let's be taught by God about what a godly marriage is. The title of this Bible study is A Godly Marriage. And so we're not looking at human ideas here today. I'm really striving to dig down into the Bible and come up with something that is straightforward, somewhat simplified in a way. Very understandable, very usable in our daily lives. Let's begin with the first humans.

If we were to go back to Genesis, you would find that Adam was made by God. If you pay attention to the text, you'll find Adam was made somewhere by God. At some point, Adam lived as a man somewhere. At a different point in time, God brought Adam and he put him into a garden.

And there in the garden, he assigned him certain things. He made him the leader. He made a covenant with him, told him about two trees, some rules, and he assigned him responsibilities and goals to accomplish, which we could summarize as dress and keep the garden. He then brought all the animals to Adam and had him name them all. So you see here, you have an Adam that in 2 Corinthians, 1 Corinthians, the apostle Paul refers to as the first Adam. You have this first Adam, and he has been appointed by God, created by God, assigned things by God. He has a covenant with God to accomplish certain things. Let's pick this up in Genesis chapter 2 and verse 15. We see this man now being told by God, the Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to dress and keep it. So now he has these responsibilities. And then the Lord commanded the man. He makes a covenant with him. He commands the man of every tree of the garden you may freely eat, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day you eat of it, you shall surely die. So we have this establishment. You've got to understand here that Adam, the leader, the responsible party, the covenant already made with God, this is established. Now in the next verse we read, and the Lord said, it's not good that man should be alone. I will make a helper comparable to him. And so to help him with his responsibilities, under his leadership, under the direction that God has given him, he has a helper. In verse 20, Adam gave names to all the cattle, the birds of the air, to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him. And we could summarize a lot of, you know, I think, obvious things that took place, but certainly in all the animals that came to Adam, and he had a responsibility of naming them, he didn't see any of his own kind. And nothing was comparable to him. And so the Lord caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept. He took out one of his ribs, closed up the flesh that was in its place. The Lord caused a deep sleep then to fall on this Adam, and God himself is going to create of the humankind a woman.

So in verse 22, the rib which the Lord had taken, he made into a woman, and he brought her to the man. So here you have the Lord, you have this father figure over a first Adam, a type of a son that he has created, and now he's going to create or choose a helper for him. And now he's going to bring the helper to his type of a son, the first Adam, because he was a made in God's image.

And he brought her to the man. And so Adam said, this is now a bone of my bones, flesh in my flesh, she shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. When you look at woman, you find out a woman by definition is one who is female, one who is able to create offspring. She's able to have babies, let's say. And so verse 24, therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and they shall be one flesh. Now there are some second Adam similarities here. Let's just pause for a minute here and pull in an understanding here of the other marriage that we are involved in, if you're baptized. Or some of you young people are interested in baptism someday. This is a covenant, a marriage covenant relationship that we come into.

Second Adam, a relationship, is a son that through a resurrection is brought to where the father is. He is given leadership, as Jesus said in Matthew 28, all responsibility, all authority, heaven and earth has been given to me. He has been given responsibilities. His next words are, therefore he tells his servants, the apostles, you go and make disciples and tell them to obey all things I have commanded you. So we have these goals then of the second Adam as well, and his goals range out into the future through the millennial period, through the second resurrection period. And ultimately we'll have more children with the help of his wife leading and serving brought into the family of God, ultimately. So God the Father has resurrected the second Adam. He's placed him in a garden you might call the earth. Ultimately his responsibility, getting ready for that, he is supreme authority over it, he's preparing a helper for his son. Now if we look at Jewish history of Jesus' day with regards to marriage, this gets quite interesting.

The fathers arranged for the wives for their sons. It was the father's responsibility, not just to, oh my son needs a wife, okay I'll go find a cute girl and give him a wife. No, no, no. You had families, as you see even in scripture with Abraham, you wanted to keep families together and families growing strong. And so you wanted to sort of brainstorm what was going to happen to your sons and your daughters. And so a father would look at his sons and he would then hire a kind of matchmaker, a professional matchmaker whose job it was to also go through the family and look at who's up and coming. And you don't want to miss out on a good bride for your son.

So you know maybe nine, ten years old they're looking and the fathers are beginning to talk. And when a girl reached puberty or maybe you might call it the the bah mitzvah, the coming of age at about age 13, that's when the weddings, that's when the, sorry, that's when the marriage contracts were made. 13-14 was very, that was your typical age for the betrothal. Not the wedding ceremony, but the betrothal. And so that betrothal was then going to strengthen the relationships.

It was going to solidify families. You had your pick at that point. You'd made your choice. The girl and the son had to agree at that point. They had to agree to that union, but they didn't necessarily know each other and they wouldn't see each other until the actual wedding. Now from that time, these sons then were chosen wives who would bring the parents, as they aged, family members and new sons coming through the sons and their wives who would take care of the aging parents and then the widows and ensure that there was integrity within the family.

Going back through many forms of Jewish history, it was not much about romance, honestly. It was a lot about the integrity of the family and planning. So the binding then, this agreement took place with a binding, that was a marriage covenant and it was sealed with 200 denarii. It was this typical bride price. The bride now is going to come into this family and she's bringing, she's bringing certain value to the family.

She's an extra worker, but she's a helper to her husband and she's going to bring children to that family. Therefore, she's worth 200 denarii, something a little shy of a year's wage. We find 200 denarii used over in Mark chapter 6 and verse 37 as the amount, generally the amount it would take to put on a meal for 5,000 people.

I don't know if you've ever been to a feast that had 5,000 people at it and you're going to put on a meal for 5,000 people. Well, that's where the disciples were talking to Jesus about when 5,000 people needed to eat.

So this was an agreed upon price and it was either prepaid, typically before Christ's time, it was a prepaid amount that the, that this father had to pay the father of the girl. It was paid across at that level, the father of the girl. Now, if there was ever a divorce or they ever backed out even of these betrotheds, that had to be refunded. You had to come up with a cash and pay it back. We'll even read of that in Exodus about a bride price. And so that also helped keep marriages together because nobody wanted to pay about a year's wages or a little shy of that to to get a divorce.

So it made people think about sticking together a little more. The period of time between this betrothal and the woman, the woman, the young girl, whatever it was, would, the old girl, the young woman, she would go back to her family and she would wait there. Typically it was six months to a year and she never knew when the father was going to throw the wedding festival. Nobody knew. Only the father knew. And it could go two years, but her responsibility was to go back and mature. She was young. She needed to go back and mature and prepare for this wedding and also make her dress.

And she was to be ready at a moment's notice. An absolute moment's notice. Let's go to Matthew 22, verse 2. Matthew 22, verse 2.

The kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who arranged a marriage for his son. So here you see the father. He's arranging this marriage for his son.

Now at some point in time, this marriage has been arranged. The covenant is there and the girl is waiting. Her bridesmaids, ten of them sprinkled around maybe, are waiting at their houses, but they don't know when it's going to come.

And it's not like you can give advance notice. And here's the reason why. There are various factors that the father is going to have and that various people are going to need. And there's no refrigeration. No refrigeration. And so we read here. And he sent out his servants to call those who were invited to the wedding, and they were not willing to come. Again, he sent out those other servants saying, tell those who were invited. See, notice this. I have prepared my dinner. My oxen, my fatted cattle are killed, and all things are ready. Come to the wedding. So when all of that work is done, and you have all the animals slaughtered, and you have no refrigeration, and you have the meals, and you have the wine, and it's all laid out, then the announcement goes out. Typically after work, so people, you know, can't justifiably say, no, we're busy.

And they go collect the bride. And the the best man collects the bride, brings her to the father's house, and others would go and invite the other guests, including, we might call them, the bridesmaid.

So here she is now at the groom's father's residence. It's actually the family compound. That's where generation after generation will come into this compound, traditionally.

She was worthy of a high bride price, and when we we consider ourselves now with this, before we launch into what a godly wife or godly marriage is, all of us who are baptized have agreed to a betrothal covenant. We, before at baptism, we were asked the question, do you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord, your supreme authority, your master, your king? And we said, yes, we do. Have you repented? Are you now with him? Are you really going to follow and obey him? Yes, I will. Okay, so here we go. And we were we were bought with a high bride price over in 1 Corinthians 6 and verse 20. It talks about we were bought with a price. Now, some commentaries want to say, well, that's a slave price. No, read the context. It's all about us and the bride of Christ. It's all about us not violating this betrothal, and perhaps, by implication, having to pay back the bride price for our divorcing him, walking away from him, which would be our own life. It's my own kind of twist there, but you can see he has given his life, his blood, so that you and I can be married. The Father chooses the bride. Only those who come to him can come if the Father draws them. So he has selected you to be part of the bride of Christ. We don't know when the groomsmen are going to come. We don't know when somebody's going to make the announcement. Come into the wedding feast. We don't know when we are going to be collected, as it were, as the bride. Someone knocks at the door, got your dress ready? Is your dress white and clean? Or you have your jewels on? Do you have the righteous acts of the saints? Come, it's time.

Jesus said in John 14 in verse 2, In my Father's house are many rooms. I go to prepare a place for you, and I will receive you to myself, that where I am, you may be also. So we are coming into this greater family compound, as it were, or the kingdom of God. And it's a family place, and there's many rooms. In my Father's house are many mansions, many rooms, you see. He talks about 10 bridesmaids who, hopefully, will make it to the feast. When we go there, the bride and the bridesmaid go into the feast, and the doors are shut. We don't know what happens inside those doors. You don't have to kind of worry or wonder or speculate. Just show up. Be there. Let's all be in there. We'll find out.

But the bride will now remain with her husband. Like Jesus said, you know, well, actually Paul says we'll meet him in the clouds and the air, and we will ever be with the Lord. We will always be with him. He has great responsibilities. He has great goals, and we're to help him with those.

Now let's go back to the first Adam. God appointed Adam then to achieve his goals. Verse 15 of chapter 2 talks about dressing and keeping the garden. So we find now that Eve is created to assist Adam. Let's pick it up in chapter 1 of Genesis in verse 28.

God says to them, go, be fruitful, multiply, and replenish the earth. The bride has an important responsibility to assist, but also she is female. She is able to reproduce with him and conceive. That's part of the word what female means, is able to conceive.

So we find then in chapter 3 and verses 2 and 3 that Adam at some point teaches Eve about the covenant. He informs her about this covenant, but we see a problem here. Let's go to Genesis chapter 3 and verse 2. This is where a godly marriage concept is very important for you and me, not to get confused with what's outside of the bride of Christ. In Genesis chapter 3 and verse 2, the woman said to the serpent, we may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden, but the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God has said, you shall not eat of it, nor shall you touch it, lest you die. Those words were said to Adam before Eve ever existed. So Adam has taught her this, but something then begins to be topsy-turvy. In verse 6, so when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it was pleasant to the eyes and a tree desirable to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave to her husband, and he ate.

Although that relationship, those responsibilities, suddenly got all convoluted. Her husband stopped obeying God. Her husband stopped being the leader and let her be the leader.

The husband stopped letting God's goals set for him be his goals. Suddenly, they had a different goal. Oh, let's be like a God ourself. The wife stopped submitting to her husband's leadership.

The wife here dealt treacherously or covertly with another. If you read carefully, you'll find Adam wasn't there. She has this relationship with another being, right? And she covertly has this relationship and to please his wife, the husband follows her. Now, let's go to 1 Kings 2 and verse 1. There is another leader that God gave responsibility to. He made him the leader, the ruler. He gave him territory. He gave him jobs to do. In 1 Kings 2 and verse 1, Now as the days of David drew near that he should die, he charged Solomon his son, saying this, I go the way of all the earth. You be strong. Therefore prove yourself a man. Verse 3, Keep the charge of the Lord your God to walk in his ways, to keep his statutes, his commandments, his judgments, his testimony, as is written in the law of Moses, that you may prosper in all that you do and wherever you turn. At this point, the king has authority, responsibility. He has a goal given to him. He needs a helper. He needs a helper. He needs a wife. He needs someone to bear children so that the the David dynasty that goes on to Jesus Christ will continue. Everybody has their importance here. Now let's skip ahead to 1 Kings chapter 11. 1 Kings chapter 11 and verse 2. Well, let's go verse 1.

1 Kings chapter 11 verse 1, But King Solomon loved many foreign women, as well as the daughter of Pharaoh, women of the Moabites, the Ammonites, the Edomites, the Sidonians, and the Hittites, from the nations of whom the Lord had said to the children of Israel, You shall not intermarry with them, nor they with you. Surely they will turn away your hearts after their gods. And Solomon clung to these in love. And he had seven hundred wives, princes, three hundred concubines, and his wives turned away his heart.

And verse 4 and 4. So it was when Solomon was old that his wives turned his heart after other gods, his heart was not loyal to the Lord his God, as was the heart of his father David. In verse 6, the husband stopped obeying God. Solomon did evil in the sight of the Lord. He did not fully follow the Lord as his father David had. He stopped being the leader. He let his wives lead him. The husband stopped using God to set his goals. Instead, he began purchasing chariots and horses and gold. The wives did not submit to the husband's leadership. The wives dealt treacherously or covertly with other religions and relationships. And to please his wives, the husband followed his helpers. He didn't just have one. He had 700 helpers.

Now I want to go to King Lemuel. Let's now go to King Lemuel, Proverbs chapter 31. And here's where a godly marriage and you and me begin to come together in what we've covered so far. Let's go to Proverbs chapter 31. I want you to think of yourself as either King Lemuel or, in actual fact, don't think of yourself as King Lemuel. But for a minute you can't. Not for very long. Because King Lemuel doesn't really fit any of us. But King Lemuel here in Proverbs 31, I'm sorry, Proverbs 31. I'm in Malachi 31. It's the Italian in me.

The last chapter of Proverbs. There we go. Proverbs 31. The words of King Lemuel.

Now King Lemuel we don't know much about. We don't know what became of him. And so he's a great, a great one for us to say, ah, here's somebody we can identify with. The words of King Lemuel, the utterance which his mother taught him.

So remember, it looks like his dad is dead. The previous king has died. But somebody is looking for a son. I'm sorry, somebody is looking for a wife for their son. And so the mother here is now looking for a wife for her son who is the new king. That's how I take this.

And his mother says, what my son, and what the son of my womb, and what the son of my vows.

So he's now going to go through here. As a king, he has to write out God's law. He has to write out the Pentateuch. He has to be the leader. He has to do, fulfill the goals he's been given.

He needs to follow that law and read it daily. And he needs a helper.

We begin then to look here at Proverbs 31. And when we come down to verse 10, we're looking at the bride, the bride that's needed for this king. Who can find a virtuous wife? Now this is often attributed to Jesus Christ as being King Lemuel, and I think it's a very good fit. But it also could be attributed to King Lemuel. It also could be attributed to the man, the husband, in any marriage relationship on the physical realm. So let's look at what a godly marriage would look like. We have, first of all, the husband responsible. And we see the first nine verses there. Being responsible, honorable, doing right, following God. Now we come to, what about a wife for him? Because her worth is far above rubies. The bride price here is, she's going to be very, very, very valuable if she is the right wife. But who can find this wife?

The heart of her husband safely trusts her.

She's not going to be going, dabbling into false religions. She's not going to be sneaking around behind his back and having some other sort of relationship with false ideas or somebody else that she's bringing home, bringing to the family, trying to convince her husband of.

His husband, her husband safely trusts her so he will have no lack of gain. She is working with him, and they are producing and achieving good goals, achieving things.

She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. When you think of your marriage relationship within your physical household or your marriage relationship with Jesus Christ, this is what is needed from all of us. She seeks wool and flax because she has goals. Not wool and flax. Her goals are clothing.

She willingly works with her hands. Yeah, she's a worker. She's not some sort of prima donna, good-looking thing you sit on and worship her. No, she brings value. She's a worker in that family compound. She is like the merchant. Ships, she brings her food from afar.

She is looking out how to make things even better in the responsibility she is given, how to embellish things, how to make them brighter, you know, something different than the husband has in his sort of domain or his responsibility. She's bringing in the sweetness, and the beauty, and the comfort, and the love, and just the wonderful things, including tastes.

She rises while it's night, provides food for her household. Verse 16, she considers a field. Notice she considers a field. When you go, when you are feeding this compound, and you're responsible not only for it, but also people in town and the poor and everybody else, you're going to be looking at fields, you know, what's growing over here? How are the potatoes? How's the corn? How's the wheat doing? That stuff doesn't look very good. How about some fresh vegetables over here? See, how about some of this? And she will buy on a regular basis the crops of the field as she considers them. From her profits, she plants a vineyard. She can then, you see, buy from that field and also sell some of that. She's a smart woman here.

And from her profits, she is doing other things, planting a vineyard.

Going on, verse 20, she extends her hand to the poor, reaches out her hands to the needy. She's not afraid of snow. She's looking ahead. She's making tapestry. Her clothing, verse 22, is fine linen and purple. Bride of Christ is fine linen. Now, concurrently, verse 23, her husband is known in the gates. In other words, he is a leader, and so the city gates is where he would be wisely helping people with decisions, making policies, judgments. He would be as the king. He would have to make certain decrees and also try certain cases, or it would at least be the last word on certain cases. Meanwhile, she's making linen garments and selling them. Verse 25, strength and honor are her clothing, and she shall rejoice in the time to come.

She opens her mouth with wisdom. On her tongue is the law of kindness. She watches over the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. She's there as a priest, perhaps, in the millennium, in the second resurrection, watching over the children, watching over the household, maybe given a city of five or ten cities, you see. Who knows exactly what the responsibilities will be. She's involved. Verse 28, her children rise up and call her blessed, whether physically now in a marriage, or then the children will rise up and say, blessed. Her husband also, and he praises her. In verse 31, give her the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her at the gates. So here within, we have a real model of what the Bible teaches us about roles and responsibilities within a godly marriage. And we have to step into scripture to find these roles, because that what that which society promotes is not our model. It's not the relationship that we have with God our Father and Jesus Christ as the bride for the Son.

In Ephesians chapter 5 and verse 32, we find that today, in marriage and in the church, God appoints helpers to assist the husband. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and he is the Savior of the body.

The husband's responsibility is to love his wife. When the Apostle Paul speaks in two places about the qualifications of an elder, he says the husband of one wife is not only counting the number of wives, but that he is a husband to that wife. He is fulfilling his responsibilities.

Matthew chapter 5 verse 28, Jesus said, whoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her in his heart. You know, we are to love one individual, keep our focus on that one individual. It's the greatest gift a husband can give his wife for an entire life to only look at her. And conversely, it's the greatest gift to a man for him to only look at his wife.

There's a beautiful thing there that God made, and that's called male forgetfulness.

You know, if you've ever been married to a guy and he says, hon, do you know where I put my keys? Do you know where this is? I can't find that. And you laugh and say, oh, guys, just remember, he also can't remember what you looked like yesterday, last year, 10 years ago. Certainly not even know what you're wearing right now if you don't, if he doesn't look at you.

Let alone last Sabbath, you know? So, guys, if you want to really bless marriage, and I'm proof of this, keep your eyes on your wife. She's the best-looking thing that ever will exist in your life, and she's always brand new. Now, if you're in this world, you're going to mess that whole scene up totally, you know, with all the other available stuff to distract you, and you're going to have a lousy perspective on your spouse. Malachi chapter 2 and verse 13 speaks of this.

Malachi chapter 2. Finally get to some Italian here. 2 and verse 13. And this is the second thing you do. You cover the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping and crying. Oh, great. Guys, you want to be impressing God? Wait a minute. Here's what's happening up in heaven. Your wife is covering my altar with tears, weeping and crying. And so, he's not regarding your offering anymore, nor will he receive it with goodwill. And you say, whoa, whoa, what reason? Because the Lord has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, whom you have dealt treacherously with. You heard about treacherous wives who kind of went around the side. It's really common for men to sort of be treacherous and kind of looking around the side, or peeking at something else, or doing something else. She is your companion and your wife by covenant. So there's a covenant relationship that we have, that we need to be really focused on. But did he not make them one, having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore, take heed to your Spirit, and let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth. Now, with what happens outside the body of Christ, what do we have? We have contentions. We have arguments. We have jealousies. Right? We have strife, bickering. Wives don't respect their husbands because they're not respectable. They're not loving their wife. Husbands, then, a crabby wife, doesn't respect him, doesn't love her. So both parties are saying, well, when you start loving me, then I'll start respecting you. Well, I'll start loving you when you start respecting me. Ding, ding, divorce. So, let's read our marriage vows. My wife and I had the opportunity to be married by a man who was my pastor since birth, Mr. Armstrong. And in 1974, there was a change in DNR back then, and he wrote a new marriage ceremony, and he used it on us. We were the first couple he used it on, and Mr. Armstrong and I were in the back room right off the stage there, a little room full of folding chairs, and he's going, and John, he says, you know, there's a bit of a change here, he says, but, you know, ramping up, he's getting louder and stronger, and somebody's singing outside, and you know, Mr. Armstrong looks at me, he says, John, you can never divorce Mary! And I said, well, I hope not. He says, oh, oh yeah, yeah, good, good. And then it was time for us to walk out, and we did the wedding ceremony. But he read these vows that we were to take, and these are them, and the churches use these ever since. I don't know about before, but do you then, the husband faithfully promise in covenant with God? So listen, gentlemen, if you don't remember your marriage vows, probably not on the top of your head, we have vowed, we said, I will do these things. Do you take her to be your lawful wedded wife in sickness and in health, in good times and in difficult times, for as long as you both shall live, to love her, to cherish her, to honor her, and to be faithful to her? And you said, I do. And then, do you, wife, put your name there, faithfully promise in covenant with God, in the presence of these witnesses, to take him to be your lawful wedded husband, in sickness and in health, in good times and in difficult times, for as long as you both shall live, to love him, to cherish him, to honor him, to be faithful to him, and as God has ordained, to submit yourself to him?

These are words that we didn't hardly hear. We were on a stage and people were there and, you know, it was all going on and, you know, yes, I do. Did I say it the right time? Did I say it loud enough? You know, almost, and so you're gone and you tend to forget, tend to forget, but God gave a husband responsibilities. And one of those responsibilities to care for his wife, it says in 1 Corinthians chapter 7 in verse 33, here's what Paul says, He that is married cares for, the Greek word there tends to kind of lean towards be anxious about, or not necessarily anxiety, but emotionally charged about, really involved in, okay? He that is married is anxious about the things that are of the world or of the flesh, how that he may please his wife. There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares for, she's anxious about the things of the Lord, that she may be both holy in body and spirit, but she that is married cares for, is anxious about the things of the flesh, the world, how she may please her husband. So you see, that is a responsibility that we both have in the God-ordained framework. It's not just sort of, yeah, I'm married, but actually to be caring about. You know, my wife Mary and I started out as best friends, and we were friends for a few years, and we were just, I called her my little sis, and I was her big brother. We helped each other through various romances that we had with other people. We would kind of counsel each other, but when we finally fell in love, and it came down to our engagement, we were all excited about getting married until in our congregation of a thousand people, we began to say, where's the proof that marriage is happy? Where is an example in the congregation of a happy marriage? Are we deluding ourselves into thinking, oh, we're in love, we're gonna live happily ever after? Let's find an example so that we know that there's a happy marriage. We went through a thousand people in that room and couldn't find a marriage that we thought was one that we wanted. We actually got a little bit discouraged, and finally we found it. We were looking in all the wrong places. It was her parents. Her parents were nuts over each other. Her parents had come from difficult backgrounds and had forged a relationship, had put a family together, and they were just cuckoo about each other and always were. And that's what gave us hope. That's what gave us confidence. And we do have, on my side anyway, a wonderful marriage. You can talk to Mary about the other side.

So, God gave the husband law, his law, goals. He's the leader, and he is there to give children direction. And if you'll notice in the scripture, Paul says, if a wife has questions about scripture or doctrine, let her ask her husband. God will put certain things on the shoulders of a man, and he will work through a certain relationship that men have been given by God. He gave the wife the law. He gave her a leader, not only her husband, but Jesus Christ and God the Father, to help her husband's goals, not just her physical husband's goals, but her spiritual husband's goals, and to bring children. Physical children, if able, but certainly spiritual children. I'd like to conclude by reading Ephesians chapter 5 verses 22 through 33.

Ephesians chapter 5 verse 22. Here's where we get a good overview of a godly marriage.

Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body.

It doesn't put the husband in some sort of a controller role. Oh, I get to make all the decisions. I get to have everything my way. I can just be the self, a grandized glutton for any and everything I want, and I can just take from any and everybody, including my wife. No. As Christ is the head of the church and gave himself for her, as Christ humbled himself, as Christ poured out his life for us, he is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, who is a wonderful, wonderful husband that we are married to if we are baptized, so let wives be to their own husbands and everything. There's tons of responsibility right here on the husbands. That's where the responsibility is here. Husbands love your wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her. That's deep. That's where we husbands sort of need to dwell and daily pray. As part of our prayer, help me to make my wife's life more fulfilling today. Help me to love her. Help me to raise up and provide her with all those things that she needs in order to maximize her role and have a very fulfilled relationship in the family as a wife. That's my responsibility to make sure that she has those things because Jesus Christ has given us all the gifts. Heavenly Father has given us all those gifts, those favors, those graces, everything we need to fulfill our responsibility as the bride.

That he might sanctify and cleanse her in verse 27. That he might present her to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but she should be holy and without blemish. It's not the husband's responsibility. You go over to Revelation chapter 19 verses 7 through 9. We see the wife has made herself ready. She is doing acts of righteousness. She is obviously washed by the blood of Christ, but she is in a relationship with him that is developing.

So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own body. He who loves his wife loves himself. In verse 31, For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother, be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular so love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. So the husband, with God's law, with godly love, a family leader, and a loving wife, has the greatest opportunity for happiness, fulfillment, and success possible. The wife, with God's law, a godly helper, assistant, leader, a growing family, a respectable husband, provides her with the greatest opportunity in this physical life to have a fulfilling life. So no matter how society around you structures its marriages, this is how the God family structures marriage.