Importance of Being Prudent

I would like to speak to you today about a word that I have learned to treasure. And I hope you will also do so. It's something that God wants us to have, and He constantly talks about this word in the Bible. It's a word that this week I was consulting with a person that had called. They had asked for some advice, and I was just giving them a bit of advice on it. And I used this word, and afterwards the person said, this is the key term. This is the term that I needed to help me get through what I was going through. So it's an important word. And I'm going to say I'm still studying it. It's a word that is a big challenge for all of us to apply. And I'm talking to myself first. This is something I need to apply more in my life. What is that word? It's the word prudent. And it is repeated many times in the book of Proverbs. I'll tell you why I treasure it so much. It's because I had not learned about this word until I came into the church. It wasn't a word that we used as teens, of course. And I really didn't know what it was all about. It was only coming into the church and reading it in the Bible that I saw that it was something I lacked and that I needed to put into practice in my life.

When I went through the book of Proverbs, I did an in-depth study. I actually wrote a booklet that is called the topical concordance of the book of Proverbs. And it has all of the topics of the book of Proverbs listed in alphabetical order with the different quotes in the Bible. It took me a long time to do that. But it came from all of this study on how to apply this word, which is used as much as the term wisdom is used, which is another very similar word than the word prudence, which is the noun, and prudence is the adjective. So it has been through studying God's word and gaining experience in life that I have come to appreciate so much this particular word, prudence. And that's what the message is going to be about. How I can be more prudent. How we can all be more prudent. Because when we see the bar that God has for all of us, it's a high bar. But I'll tell you, our lives can improve so much. The more we apply the principles behind this word.

Notice in Proverbs chapter 1, this was written by the wisest man that ever lived, King Solomon. Of course, barring Jesus Christ, of course. But here he says in Proverbs chapter 1, the Proverbs of Solomon, verse 1, the son of David, king of Israel, to know wisdom and instruction, to perceive the words of understanding, to receive the instruction of wisdom, justice, judgment, and equity, to give prudence to the simple, which usually has to do with a young man or woman that needs to learn about it, to the young man, knowledge and discretion. So we're going to see that prudence has a lot to do with knowledge and discretion.

So the word prudence from the Hebrew word orma —Vines Hebrew word studies— says having an understanding of things. A prudent person has a certain understanding how to get things done, how to do them properly. It involves what to say and what not to say, what to do and what not to do, of being cautious, of risks and dangers. So a person's cautious. And we are going to see a very fine biblical example in the Bible of a lady that had that prudence that we're talking about. So you see, the Bible is not just about explaining or defining things. It gives us illustrations, beautiful illustrations that we can all follow. Notice in Proverbs 22 verse 3, and again I had this topic mulling around for quite a while.

Proverbs 22 verse 3, it says, A prudent man foresees evil and hides himself, but the simple—those people that don't have knowledge—pass on and are punished. So the simple, the typical ordinary person, they lack discernment. But the prudent person knows when to act and when not to. When to speak and when not to.

Notice Proverbs 14 verse 8. It talks about the prudent. Verse 15. It says, The simple believes every word, but the prudent considers well his steps.

So the prudent person thinks before acting and before speaking. He discerns first what is going on. Another Bible translation of this verse says, A gullible person will believe anything, but a sensible person will confirm the facts. They don't just take things for granted. They check things out. It takes a little time before they make the decision whether to follow or whether to do something. In Proverbs 12 verse 16, it says, A fool's wrath is known at once, but a prudent man covers shame. Which another Bible translation, it says, When a fool is annoyed, he quickly lets it be known. Smart people will ignore and insult. So it's hard to get that type of person, a prudent person, to fly off the handle, to lose control of things. So here we're beginning to define a little more this term of watching what we say. And a prudent person knows there is a gap between listening and responding. I'm going to explain this a little more. There's a delay between what happens and then what you decide you're going to do about it. There is the reactive way where you can just react instinctively. The first thing that comes up, the natural thing, immediately just react that way. But there's another way, which is the proactive way, where a person holds on, wait, I don't want to lose my temper, I don't want to just lash out, I want to think how to better respond to this.

The Bible describes the reactive type of person, and all of us have some of that reactive type. But you have to learn to control all of these things that happen to us, irritate us, not let it have us fly off the handle, as they say. Notice in James chapter 3, James chapter 3 verse 5. It talks about the tongue, and we all have a problem controlling it, believe me. It says in verse 5, Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasts great things. See how great a forest, a little fire, kindles. And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. It can get us into trouble faster than almost anything else. That's why it talks about a comparison, just a little match. Dropped in a forest can destroy a whole thing. In the house, it can happen the same way. And just a couple of incendiary words can light up and destroy so much.

So we can light a fire, or we can put out a fire. If we're proactive, instead of making it worse, we can make it better. Notice the reactive approach is explained here in Proverbs 26. Proverbs 26. And again, to me, this principle of whether we're more reactive or proactive is very dear to me. I'm trying to become more and more proactive and less reactive in life. In Proverbs 26 verse 21, it says, as charcoal is to burning coals and wood to fire, so is a contentious man to kindle strife. Again, comparing it to a fire. And God's word version, modern version, it says, as charcoal fuels burning coals and wood fuels fire, so a quarrelsome person fuels a dispute.

Some people we just can't really get along with hardly, because it's always a fight. It's always a struggle. And that's what tells us about a quarrelsome person. Maybe we have had quarrelsome children that are that way. It's very hard to get along with them. But again, this is a reactive approach. Let's look at a proactive approach in Proverbs. Proverbs 10 verse 12.

Proverbs 10 verse 12. It says, see if I got that right.

Yeah, Proverbs 10 verse 12. It says, hatred stirs up strife. Whenever there's hatred in the heart, it produces strife. But love covers all sins. That's the proactive approach. Okay, person has hate toward me, and they want to fight, and they're insulting me. But I have that gap between what I am receiving and what I give back. I don't have to do the same thing. I have a choice in the matter. I can lower the temperature. I'll share with you. Years ago, I had a situation in which it was very difficult when we had people that were attacking the church. And in particular, I had to face maybe a group of people that were just in the worst attitudes possible. And yet, I had the authority and the backing. I had been sent there to try to calm things down. And I remember just that feeling of hatred, and the wrong spirit was there. And I asked God, help me. And what happened was I had peace. And I said, there's only one thing I want to let you know. And they thought, oh yeah, let's fight. I said, God bless you. And that was it. You know, it stopped the whole fire. They couldn't attack me any further. It changed the whole spirit of the thing. And again, it's just God working in us. There's no special circumstance. But we can put a stop to just reacting toward things. We have a choice. God made us with free will. Nobody obligates us to have to conduct ourselves in a certain way.

Notice in Proverbs 12 verse 18, again, we have the contrast between being reactive, which is immediately just whatever comes to mind, whatever emotion wells up, it just comes right out, or we're able to contain it. We're very skeptical of our initial emotion. Many times it's not the right one. It says in Proverbs 12 verse 18, there is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, but the tongue of the wise promotes health. Have you ever felt like sometimes they're just like sword blows? They just cut in so painfully? Here's in the easy reading version, modern version, says, speak without thinking and your words can cut like a knife. See, we didn't give it time to think how it was going to affect the other person. Speak without thinking and your words can cut like a knife. Be wise is saying instead, and your words can heal. Something God wants us all to learn. So I'd like to bring the classic example in the Bible of what a prudent person does, and there was probably 5% possibility that it was going to be solved. Everything had conspired like 95% chance that there was going to be a slaughter, a mass slaughter. There wasn't going to be anything that was left, but there was this prudent person who stopped what happened. Let's go to 1 Samuel chapter 25. 1 Samuel chapter 25. I want to talk to you now about the example of prudence that this particular lady woman showed, and she's an example for everybody. 1 Samuel chapter 25.

And I'm going to go through this with a fine-tooth comb. The history. It's so interesting. 1 Samuel chapter 25 in verse 2. It says, now there was a man in Mehen, which was close to Hebron, where David established his initial kingdom. There was a man in Mehen whose business was in Carmel. This was the southern part, not the northern Carmel. And the man was very rich. He had 3,000 sheep and 1,000 goats. This was a very large business. And he was shearing his sheep in Carmel. So the shearing season had come. All the sheep were nice and fat and big coats. And this was kind of like the harvest of the sheep. Just like you have a wheat harvest. Well, this was the time of shearing. This is where you were going to get all the wool. So this was a very rich moment and a happy moment. Now you're ready to produce that wool. It says, the name of the man was Nabal.

And the name of his wife, Abigail. Now there's a contrast right here, because Nabal in Hebrew means fool. A person that lacks prudence. Now I don't know why the parents named him Nabal. Usually in the Bible, they just didn't come up with pretty names. No, they looked at some characteristic. And somehow they just said, well, we got a fool here. A little infant fool, the way he's acting. Anybody ever had a notion of some kid coming up that way? Oh, he's going to be a headache. He's going to be a handful. Well, I don't know, but Nabal's parents, they didn't have very good opinion on him. And he turned out to be exactly as they feared. While the wife was named Abigail. Abigail means joy to the Lord. That's totally opposite. When she was born, they said, joy to the Lord. This is a special person. She's going to bring joy to the Lord. And she was a woman of good understanding and beautiful appearance. So she wasn't just beautiful on the outside. She was beautiful on the inside. She was modest. She was prudent. She wasn't this vanity case. She was thinking what is best for others.

But the man was harsh and evil in his doings. He was of the house of Caleb. Caleb had been one of the men who were one of the good spies back in the time of Moses. So he came from a nice tribe.

When David heard in the wilderness that Nabal was shearing his sheep, David sent ten young men. And David said to the young men, go up to Carmel, go to Nabal, and greet him in my name. So David was still fleeing from King Saul. And he was out there in the wilderness area. And he had 600 men to feed and to take care of. And so the time of shearing, there's plenty of sheep, plenty of food, and everything else. So he said, go to Nabal because we're going to need his help. And so he sent ten young men. And here David was learning how to be prudent. He was learning how to be a king. So he didn't come and say, well, I've got all of these 600 soldiers. I'm going to requisition some of your food and coming in and taking over. No, he didn't. He was careful. He tried to do it in a humble and pleasing way. So he says, go, and thus you shall say to him who lives in prosperity. This man, he's very rich. He can afford to help out. Peace be with you and peace to your house and peace to all that you have. Shalom, Shalom, the famous word of the blessing. He says, now I have heard that you have shearers. This is the time. Your shepherds were with us, and we did not hurt them. Nor was there anything missing from them all the while. They were in Carmel. So David had these 600 men, and he said these flocks and these men, you protect them. You protect them from the wolves, from bears and lions, and you protect them from rustlers trying to steal it. So David had been doing that. He says, ask your young men, neighbor, and they will tell you what we did at that time. Therefore, let my young men find favor in your eyes, for we come on a feast day. This is a time of harvest. This is a time when you have abundance. Please give whatever comes to your hand, to your servants, and to your son, David. So David humbled. He said, here we are. We're kinsmen, and we're out here in the wilderness, and we hardly have what to eat. And so it says here, give whatever comes. He didn't say, I'm gonna requisition a certain amount. No, he said, you determine that.

So when David's young men came, they spoke to Navel according to all these words in the name of David and waited. So there was some time. Navel thought about it, and then Navel answered David's servants and said, who is David? And who is the son of Jesse? It immediately starts with an insult. He knew who David was. He'd already been anointed king by Samuel the prophet, but now he apparently was backing King Saul. And so he said, I don't want anything to do with David. He says, there are many servants nowadays who break away each one from his master. So he's insulting David again. Oh, you're just this renegade fleeing from Saul. Verse 11. Notice the attitude. It's all about me and my things.

He says, shall I then take my bread and my water and my meat that I have killed for my shearers and give it to men when I do not know where they are from? Another insult. He's saying, this is mine. I'm not going to give you anything. So David's young men turned on their heel and went back, and they came and told them all these words. Is this the way to answer to a guy who's got 600 soldiers and he's a commander? Then David said to his men, every man gird on his sword. Okay, we've got to punish now instead of being nice. Okay, he provoked us. So every man girded on his sword and David also girded on his sword. And about 400 men went with David and 200 stayed with the supplies. Now one of the young men told Abigail, so okay, the scene goes back to where Nabal had been. These 10 men had left, but one of the young men had heard what had happened with Nabal and these 10 young men. So one of the young men told Abigail, now here's where God starts working on things, intervening. Nabal's wife saying, look, David sent messengers from the wilderness to greet our master. And he reviled them. He insulted them. But the men were very good to us and we were not hurt, nor did we miss anything as long as we accompanied them. So here are all these warriors and they're protecting us. They could have taken things from us, but they didn't when we were in the fields. They were a wall to us both by night and day. They protected all of them. Did Nabal had asked David to do that? No. David had done that on his own.

All the time we were with them keeping the sheep. Now therefore, know and consider what you will do. Talking to Abigail. For harm is determined against our master and against all his household. Talk about his family. For he is such a scoundrel that one cannot speak to him. He was vain, cocky, insulting. Usually this happens when you're rich. It's very hard for a poor person to have exactly that type of boy. When you feel your oats and you think you're so important and things, then sometimes that type of vanity gets a hold. He says verse 18, then Abigail made haste. So here's the action and the reaction. Now she could have said, oh my husband, they blew it again. And here they come. We're going to get slaughtered. All because he couldn't keep his mouth shut and insulted these people who were nice to us. It says, Abigail made haste. Now she knew her time was counted right now. She had to act immediately because she knew it. David's men were already coming. And she took 200 loaves of bread, already dressed, five sias of roasted grain, 100 clusters of raisin, and 200 cakes of figs, and loaded them on donkeys. And she said to her servants, go on before me. See, I am coming after you. But she did not tell her husband, Nabel. Well, you see, Abigail knew. Nabel was not going to allow that. He was dumb enough to have everything slaughtered. But he was going to maintain his power and authority. Some people, they just put that flag on that hill, even if it's the lousiest hill, it's not worth anything. But what are they going to die on? This was the way Nabel was. So it was as she rode on the donkey that she went down under cover of the hill, and there were David and his men, 400 men, coming down toward her. And she met them because he was coming right to the place, the house. Now David had said, Surely in vain I have protected all that this fellow has in the wilderness, so that nothing was missed of all that belongs to him, and he has repaid me evil for good. So okay, here we are. David's learning to be a king, but his temper got a hold of him, and he's feeling slighted and salted. And so right now he's ready to slaughter a whole group of people because of the way they had treated him. And then verse 22, it says, May God do so, and more also to the enemies of David, if I leave one male of all who belong to him by morning light. Yeah, David was on the warpath. Now God didn't want that either, so he intervened here. Now when Abigail saw David, she dismounted quickly from the donkey, fell on her face before David, and bowed down to the ground. So if you didn't say anything, she humbled herself because she knew there weren't many cards to play here. You better humble yourself because if you come with a hottie and this type of defiant attitude, you're just putting fuel in the fire. It's going to get worse. So she fell at his feet and said, On me, my Lord, on me, let this iniquity be. So the first thing she does is that David doesn't know who she is. He's after Nabal. And of course, she's the wife, so she's going to probably perish as well. First thing she does is she deflects. So instead of saying here that, Save me, no, she says, Put it on me. Punish me. And please let your maidservant speak in your ears and hear the words of your maidservant. So that stopped David on his tracks. Boy, here's this lady. She was, of course, rich and very beautiful and very feminine. And yet she's there saying, Just punish me because of what my husband has done.

Verse 25.

It says, Please let not my Lord regard this scoundrel, Nabal. Is this a nice way to talk about your husband? Yes, it is if you want to save his skin, because he really got himself into trouble now. So she's being realistic. And by the way, how was it that she was married to a scoundrel? Would you like to be married to a guy named Nabal? You know, things are not going to go too well. But what happened there is that they had arranged marriages. Since they were little kids. And Nabal came from a nice family. And so the parents sort of got together. And so she didn't have much of a choice in the matter. And she ended up marrying a fool that she had to put up with. And so she knows she has to lower the temperature. It says in verse 25, he says, For as his name is fool, so is he. Nabal is his name. And folly is with him. But I, your maidservant, did not see the young men of my lord whom you sent. She said, I had no time to intervene. And I know how my husband's big mouth always was getting people into trouble. Remember what the other young man said? You can talk to the guy without getting insulted.

Verse 26, Now therefore, my lord, as the lord lives, and as your soul lives, since the lord has held you back from coming to bloodshed and from avenging yourself with your own hand, now then let your enemies and those who seek harm for my lord be as Nabal. So now she brings God into the picture. And she's saying, I'm here because God doesn't want this to happen. And that I know who you are and how God is using you as an instrument, as the future king.

Verse 27, And now this present which your maidservant has brought to my lord, let it be given to the young men who follow my lord. Notice she mentions your my lord about 14 times. She's not defying him at all. She's recognizing his authority. Verse 28, Please forgive the trespass of your maidservant. Again, humbly. Sometimes you have to do that. You have to take the responsibility. I once had that happen to me.

Again, over the years, you go through a lot. I remember over there in Mexico when we were organizing the churches and we had a fellow that came in. He was so mad between two brothers and the property that we had. And one of the brothers wanted to just take it over. And the other brother said, no. And they were there and they just came out with fists ready to start a fight there in front of me. And also, the other minister, I got right in the middle. I said, you hit me. Don't hit him. Stop the whole thing.

Just stop the whole thing. Now, again, it's God working. But I was willing to get hit without me being the blame. But it's just things that you have to do to disarm and to disconnect that type of anger that causes so much damage. These are things I don't tell people, but I've done it. Okay. And he says, so she said here, Please forgive the trespass of your maidservant, for the Lord will certainly make for my Lord an enduring house, because my Lord fights the battles of the Lord.

He knows David had a destiny with God. And evil is not found in you throughout your days. She says, you're not to blame David. You're doing God's will. He was the one that fought Goliath. Remember David facing that giant. David was well known. But there's always going to be envy.

There's always going to be people that are going to resist things, especially if you're rich and powerful, like Nabal. Yet a man has risen to pursue you. Talking about King Saul. He didn't say King Saul. He just said, there's a man who's pursuing you and seeks your life. But the life of my Lord shall be bound in the bundle of the living. God's going to protect you with the Lord, your God, and the lives of your enemies.

He shall sling out. Now, remember David used that sling against Goliath. He says the same way he's going to knock out all your enemies. As from the pocket of a sling. And it shall come to pass. When the Lord has done for my Lord according to all the good that he has spoken concerning you, and has appointed you ruler over Israel.

She knows who's going to be in charge. She knows what God is doing. That this will be no grief to you. What you're about to do. Don't let it happen, so it won't be a grief to you, nor an offense of heart to my Lord. Either that you have shed blood without cause, or that my Lord has avenged himself. But when the Lord has dealt well with my Lord, then remember your maidservant. And so she says, remember me. I'm here. I'm backing you. I want to help. What did David do? Well, he completely melted. How could he do all of these things?

She took the whole anger and hate out of his whole system. And he came to his senses again, which is what happens. Then David said to Abigail, Blessed is the Lord God of Israel who sent you this day to meet me. He didn't just say, oh, you're great.

No, he says, I know God is there. And blessed be that he used you to avert this massacre. For indeed, as the Lord God of Israel lives, who has kept me back from hurting you, unless you had hurried and come to meet me, surely by morning light no males would have been left to navel. So David received from her hand what she had brought him. He became just like a little lamb afterwards. And people many times become that way. When you are proactive and not reactive.

And she said to her, Go in peace to your house. See, I have heeded your voice and respected your person. Now, Abigail went to navel. Here is a guy who just destroyed all the reputation he had, all that he didn't consider he'd done anything wrong. And what was he doing? He was holding a big feast in his house, because of course that was when they were looking at all these tons and tons of wool, all that money. And so he was feasting with his men like a feast of a king. But I wasn't willing to give David a little bit of just recompense for what David had done. And navel's heart was merry within him, for he was very drunk, drank excessively. Therefore, she told him nothing, little or much, until morning light. So here's another part of prudence when to talk. You don't talk to a drunk at that moment, right? They're not going to listen. Going to be offended. Usually a drunk just becomes worse, and his behavior gets worse than normal. And so she just said, I'm going to let him sleep this off so he can come back to his senses. So it was in the morning when the wine had gone from navel, the effects of it, and his wife had told him these things that his heart died within him. And he became like a stone. When she knew that David was right close by, and he had all these men, and they were going to come, and they were going to destroy his entire house and field. He had a stroke. He just was so scared and so shocked that right there, he became like a stone. In other words, stone doesn't move, does it? Got paralyzed. Then it happened after about 10 days that the Lord struck navel, and he died. So finally, God just pulled the plug on the guy completely. He had asked for it. Navel had it coming. What he did, he paid dearly for that. So when David heard that navel had died, he said, Blessed be the Lord who has pleaded the cause of my reproach from the hand of navel, and has kept his servant from evil for doing that massacre. For the Lord has returned the wickedness of navel on his own head. And David sent and proposed to Abigail to take her as his wife. And so he said, I want that lady. She's a widow now. And I've never heard quite that wisdom from any woman. And remember, in Proverbs, it says that to a person who follows God, he says that comes to prudent woman. And so here's David now, rewarding Abigail.

Then she arose, bowed her face to the earth again, humbly. She didn't tell, great, I'm going to be a queen now. I'm going to be this great lady. No, still the same. Prudent, acting humbly at that time. And she says, here is your maidservant, a servant to wash the feet of the servants of my Lord. Yes, I'm just serving others, not lifting herself up. So Abigail rose and haste and rode on a donkey attended by five of her maidens. And she followed the messengers of David and became his wife. And many Bible commentaries consider that it was mainly Abigail, the model for the Proverbs 31 woman. She had servants, she knew how to administer, she knew what to say, and she became a big help in the life of King David. So that's just one biblical story that enunciates and shows in a nutshell what prudence is all about. And we're going to have to deal with that time and time again. Are we the ones that put out fires or are we the ones that light fires? Depends on us. We got that little gap. And if we let God work in us, something from God will come out of us.

So how to gain that prudence, we have to ask God for it, comes from Him through His Spirit. We have to work at it. And especially in our marriages, as the book Apples of Gold, in page 83. This is one of our favorite saying, my wife and I. Often, the difference between a successful marriage and a mediocre one consists of leaving about three or four hurtful things a day, a day, unsaid. Just don't say it. Hold off on it. Make us much better. So now you know the importance of being prudent. Let's apply it more in our lives and see the results getting better.