[Brian Shaw] Low self-esteem is defined as a thinking disorder in which one views oneself as inadequate, unworthy, unlovable, and/or incompetent. That's the most recent definition I could find for it. Some now estimate that as many as 85% of the world's population suffers from some level of low self-esteem. That's pretty astounding when you stop to think about that. 85% in any kind of a survey is overwhelming evidence. How it's found, how it's determined, though, may not be as obvious. Though the phrase self-esteem has only been popular since about the mid-1980's, low self-esteem is now cited as the cause of most addictions, and is linked to academic and vocational frustration, sexual promiscuity and deviance, depression, and a host of mental and emotional disorders, including those leading to crime, violent behavior and even suicide.

Now intuitively the idea that it can be damaging when someone doesn't have a positive view of themselves, it resonates with those who are seeking causes for our growing social problems. Even some of the issues that we battle within our own thinking, our choices in our lives and so on. This is absolutely fascinating to study, because most do not realize that there is no causal relationship between self-esteem and mental health leading to positive personal and social outcomes – no causal evidence. Research recently, by a Jesse Singal – spelled S-I-N-G-A-L – he's a journalist and a writer for New York Magazine – says that “the self-esteem craze” – which is what he calls it – “began in California in 1986, largely as a political effort to mitigate a wide range of social problems.” The idea if we could get people to feel better about themselves we could mitigate and eliminate a lot of the social ills – crime and so on. In what the state of California called the “task force to promote self-esteem and personal and social responsibility” they took well over the first year just to be able to come up with a practical definition for self-esteem, and it's changed quite a bit over the years. Now their research was largely anecdotal. They could see a correlation, but not necessarily a causality – that when someone has low self-esteem, it leads to violence, depression, and all these other things. But after they got their definition down, they put together quite a bit of anecdotal research vs. empirical scientific research and their findings were very underwhelming. Still the underlying idea that society's ailments could be fixed with such a compassionate and cost effective approach appealed to both sides of the aisle in state and federal governments. And whether you were what Singal describes as “new age-y liberal” or a “budget conscious conservative” both were on board – an easy fix and touching the hearts of everyone.

This whole movement rode the heels of the self-help movement over the years, which many people have commented over the years, “All it did was make us helpless” – or make us think of ourselves as helpless or victimized – it added to that. The self-esteem or the approach to improving other's self-esteem was embraced and promoted by the media. It was simple. It was easy to broadcast. It was easy to promote. It became a fixture in pop psychology, or popular psychology, also academia and the workplace. All research since then has been either unreliable or inconclusive at best, and applied efforts to increase self-esteem have not made us a happier and healthier nation, but rather one filling quickly with insecure, self-promoting and, in some cases, described as miserable narcissists. Two studies confirmed that in about 2005 published in Psychology Today and other journals in psychology, they could not find after all that time – 20 years of study and analysis and research – they could not find, or validate, the promised effect of improving self-esteem, it's effect on personal health mentally or the society itself.

They found that, in many cases, criminals felt pretty good about themselves – in far too many cases. They also found that self-esteem leading to one being rich was not as prevalent as ones who were rich having self-esteem because they were rich – again, a correlation, but not a causality. And they are starting to recognize now that that has to change – the whole approach has to change. And we're also seeing the effect on our society and culture, over the past two generations, moving in a very negative and concerning direction. Now, few question whether one's perceived self-worth affects one's thinking and behavior, butt the connections to certain choices and decisions leading to violent behavior, depression, suicide and so on, cannot be proved empirically.

It's not trendy for someone to ask, “What is the value of my life?” It's one of the critical questions of life that eventually all of us have to face. At some point everyone wonders, “Why am I here? What is my value?” and begins assessing the significance of their existence. But self-appraisal, which is what the self-esteem movement moved toward, self-appraisal can be myopic – narrow, limited in perspective – and empirical behavioral analysis is inconclusive at best and often questionable. The truth is, no human will ever know their true value until we know from where our true value originates. Those of you who are familiar with the history of Ambassador College remember the motto: Recapturing True Values. Those who understood that and were able to apply that in their lives realize, though, that this begins with understanding how we recapture our true value in the eyes of God. If you like a title for your notes, the title of this message is Recapturing Our True Value.

I'd like to stay in psychology for a moment here, first looking at the causes of what psychology says causes low self-esteem, and I think we can see a consistent pattern here. This is taken from an article from Psychology Today, written by a Dr. Suzanne Lachman. L-A-C-H-M-A-N. She identified ten causes, the ten most common causes for low self-esteem, and I'll just read these to you.

(1) Disapproving Authority Figures. In other words, if a child has an authority figure, or if anyone has an authority figure, in their life that is highly critical or insulting, you begin believing that over time, that can lead you to a low self-worth – low opinion of yourself.
 
(2) Uninvolved/Preoccupied Caregivers. So, if your caregivers, be it parents or whoever is giving you care, is preoccupied with other things and uninvolved in your life, you can feel worthless as well. They didn't make the choice to spend time with you.

(3) Authority Figures in Conflict. So if there is constant turmoil going on in the home or at work or wherever, and especially with respect to children, because it begins early in their estimation and grows over time. To quote her article, she says: Children absorb the negative, distrustful situations that have been modeled for them. Interesting that authority figures, caregivers, parents are identified as those who model right behavior for their children or those they lead.

The next three, 4, 5, and 6 are all bullying – experiencing bullying in your life. The first concept is:

(4) Bullying with Unsupportive Parents. So if you don't feel safe outside of the home because you're being bullied, and you go home and your parents are unsupportive – it's not a safe environment there either – you have no place to turn except to lower your value – your personal value – for your life. The second one was:

(5) Bullying with Over-supportive Parents. That's actually number five on the list. Bullying with over-supportive parents. So the new parental model is hovering over your children. Protecting them in every situation that they are in. Because after awhile, if the child grows up in that kind of environment, they don't feel that their parents feel they're qualified at handling this by themselves – and not mature enough to deal with this by themselves. So they are always within a phone call of their parents. There are even cases where college students; in their second, third, fourth year in college; when professors give them a bad grade, and they want to go discuss it with the professor, they actually bring their cell phones, and say “Here. Here's my mother to discuss this with you, Dr. So and So.” Because they don't feel qualified to do that. You can see how that would lower someone's opinion of themselves.

(8) Trauma or abuse. Which is intuitive. If somebody is abused physically, sexually, emotionally, as they are growing up – or in any aspect of their life – it can be extremely tough. To quote Lachman, it says – she writes: Being forced into a physical and emotional position against your will can make it very hard for you to like the world, trust yourself or to trust others.

Again, none of this research is invalidated. It's proof of something. It's proof of an existence, but again, the causality into social disorders and depression, suicide, violent behavior, aggressiveness can't be proven, or hasn't yet. Always with science there is the possibility that continued study will reveal something down the road, but they're not there yet.

The third one was (6) Bullying with Uninvolved Parents. Bullying with uninvolved parents. So if there is chaos at home, you're not going to look for your parents, or a home life, to help you solve chaos outside the home. And if both are chaotic, you're looking for some sense of order, and it's not there. So that was 4, 5, and 6 all bullying.

(7) Academic Challenges Without Caregiver Support. It's interesting. It's not just academic challenges, it's also targeting, again, caregiver support here. There is nothing like feeling stupid to create low self-esteem. If you don't feel like you can handle the academic challenges that are put in front of you, and you don't have any support from home to help you with those, that can lead you to low self-esteem as well.

(9) Belief Systems. (I hope you see a pattern here.) Belief Systems. To quote Lachman, she writes: Whether judgment is emanating from authority figures – judgment in the sense of condemnation – or from an established belief system in your life, it can evoke shame, guilt, conflict and self-loathing. The idea that anyone would tell you that you are sinning, or that you are a sinner, and that you must begin there, or a belief system that doesn't provide a credible way out of sin – out of bad, detrimental behavior – is also a problem.

(10) Society and the Media. And we've talked about this here recently in the Twin Cities, as access to social media is coming at increasingly younger ages. The average age of first cell phone purchase is 8 now. And there are cases where some 2-year-olds actually have cell phones – cell phone accounts. So as it's coming younger and younger and younger, many are seeing how they do not measure up in this fear of these cyber worlds, where everybody is promoting themselves and talking about the wonderful things that are happening – because nobody tells you the bad things that are happening. And in comparison with your life, it looks like everybody else is doing wonderfully and you're not. When this hits you at a time when your identity is still forming, that can have a very negative effect on your value of yourself – the way you perceive yourself – your self-worth.

I hope you noticed, as I went through these ten – and I think it's important for us to understand this – that these are not so veiled indictments directed at traditional views of God and family. These references to caregivers, authority figures, parents, and so on over and over and over again, puts the individual suffering from what they perceive to be low value, low worth, low self-esteem, it puts the cause of that not in them, but in someone else. That develops a mindset and a society, a culture, of victimization.

We believe now – most of us understand this – because it's ingrained into us academically, workplace, government, and so on – that those who suffer from low self-esteem are the victims of authority figures, authority structures. They are the victims of poor parenting. They are the victims of caregivers who fail to validate their self-image – their value of themselves, determined by themselves. “Here I am I shouldn't need to change for you to validate me. I shouldn't have to appeal to you or have your approval to validate.” In fact, I've seen this over and over and over. You see this in Christianity as well, that God loves you, you cannot earn His love, so why are you trying? So an individual who wants to return love to parents, caregivers or even God is criticized for doing so, and told, “Well, you're just trying to win their approval.” No, what is wrong with requiting love – returning love? But that mindset has been built within this shallow research.

So authority figures, parents, caregivers are all failing to validate one's self-image. Then, there were compounding negative influences that are coming from religion, structures of religion, school systems and academia, and society in general, as well as the government in conforming to that image – the image the individual has established for themselves apart from other influences. Now our thinking has been so inundated with the idea that one's self-worth is self-determined that that is the essence of the problem. That people should not be undermined – or have their own self-determined value undermined – by the unachievable standards or the unreasonable, in some cases, demands of others, that have no respect for who they really are as individuals. This is the world we live in today and it's no wonder that our nation continues to fracture to it's own ruin. Everyone is an individual. Nobody is coming together. All must live in respect of another person's value of themselves regardless of societal values, morals, laws, regardless of anything. Those are the causes of – psychology has identified – of low self-esteem. We'll see later that the cause is something much deeper.

The second thing I'd like to look at here is what psychology believes are the solutions for low self-esteem are. This is an article written in Psychology Today by Dr. Tim Elmore. The title of the article is What Really Cultivates Self-Esteem in Students. And I'll just read this for you. Quote: Parents and teachers have intuitively felt that lots of affirmation and care builds self-esteem in children. This is why millions of moms and dads compliment their kids for even little things that they do. It’s why some teachers have found it difficult to let a kid fail a course or endure hardship. Yet, since the self-esteem movement took root in America over the last forty years, we have learned an important truth. Affirmation alone does not breed self-esteem. It breeds narcissism. Dr. Jean Twenge now oversees a longitudinal study of college students that dates back to the 1970s. She tells us that narcissism continues to climb as parents dote over their children, validating their every move and telling them they’re special. In the 1950s, when teens were asked if they were a “very important person”, less than ten percent said they were. Fifty years later, more than 80 percent of teens said they were. Unfortunately, they continue to show signs of depression, angst, and poor self-esteem when it comes to risk taking and taking on responsibility.

Continue on with the quote: What we’ve found is that self-esteem is strengthened when adults are both: 1. Responsive: Encouragement, belief, understanding and support. 2. Demanding: Setting standards and holding kids accountable to achieve them. Believe it or not, genuine self-esteem is built from achievement not just affirmation. I like that phrasing, in the light of recent research, genuine self-esteem.

We know from experience – we also know from scripture – that affirmation does not reveal one's self-worth. Everyone loves to hear praise, but when it's constantly coming, for even the littlest of things – when you're handed a trophy just for participating, even though you did nothing to contribute to growing or developing in the sport, when everybody is rewarded for everything, when everyone is considered special – nobody is. That’s a quote from a movie. Anybody remember that? Except for my family. They know. The Incredibles. The family has these super powers, but they were pushed aside and laws were set up against them using their powers. And they're told that everybody is special. And again, in that environment, where everybody is special, nobody is. And that's the environment our children are raised in today. Two whole generations have been raised in this. Affirmation doesn't reveal self-worth. It produces narcissists. Conceited individuals who suffer with big egos, self-absorption, admiration for oneself. And by no means is this isolated to one or two generations. This is even seen within boomers and even great gen individuals. It's not relative to age. It has more to do with how you allow the value systems of this world to affect the understanding of what makes you valuable.

Let's look at Proverbs 18:12 here. Proverbs 18, and verse 12 says this:

Proverbs 18:12 – Before destruction the heart of a man is haughty – proud, puffed up, lifted up – and before honor is humility.

Now, self-absorption, which is what this all lead us to, is the destructive path that humanity is on. This is all fed that, and pushed us further down that path of destruction. Yet this is a Biblical principal. I once heard a 50-year, pastor-ranked minister say he was in the ministry 30 years before he realized that God meant what He said in Proverbs. These aren't just recommendations. This is what defines a well-ordered life.

Look at John, chapter 5 here – words of Christ. John, chapter 5 – we’ll read verses 41 through 44. Here He is…they were seeking to trip Him up. He’s responding here – it was happening all the time – and He was addressing why they’re having such a difficult time seeing Him and who He was. He says here:

John 5:41-44 – “I do not receive honor from men.” Can you say that about yourself – that you don't look to men – men’s systems, men's value structures – to receive honor? It's nice to get a reward at work. It’s nice to get good grades at school and receive awards and so on. It’s nice to be wealthy, to have a nice home, to have a stable financial life and so on, but if those are the limits of where we look to what makes us valuable, you'll suffer with what is defined as low self-esteem. It's actually something else – something else that psychology – because it doesn't consider the spirit as a science. It doesn't take into consideration non-material influences, so they do behavioral analyses and, usually, if it's empirically done – if it's well done, the analysis is good – the study is valid. It's the conclusions, or the assumptions, that they make off of those – about human behavior and why we are, who we are – that usually are in error, because they don't consider the influence of God's Spirit or the spirit in man. Verse 42 – now He's addressing them: “I know you, that you do not have the love of God in you.” Notice the “but” there. This is the other side. Those who do not have the love of God in them – those who don’t understand that – will look to men for honor. Verse 43: “I have come in My Father's name and you do not receive Me. If another comes in his own name, him you will receive. How can you believe, who receive honor from one another, and do not seek the honor that comes from the only God?” Honor, in a sense of what makes us feel valuable, what makes us feel that our life has worth, does it come from men or does it come from God?

Look at chapter 12 here in the book of John – John, chapter 12, verses 43 and 43. This is – verse 43 into 43 – let’s just read that. Some believed on Him, but they were facing obstacles. What was that obstacle here? He says:

John 12:42-43 – “Nevertheless even among the rulers many believed in Him, but because of the Pharisees, they did not confess Him, lest they should be put out of the synagogue” – that meant more to them – verse 43: for they loved the praise of men more than the praise of God.”

Loving, seeking the praise of men, using the praise and the validation of human value systems ahead of how God thinks of us – what God thinks of us, what His standards and value systems are – is what leads us down this path to losing and understanding of what our worth is. The affirmations of men can blind us to the love of God. Be careful about that. Achievement as well – that was the other thing, right? Can't just have affirmation, you have to have achievement. The Bible speaks of this quite often. In fact, the entire book was written by one of the ones who achieved the most in this world, King Solomon. We know that achievement also does not reveal self-worth just because we are able to accomplish many things. And we can point to all the things we've done or built or created; and that's my value. That's the limit of my value. And usually, that value is assigned by some characteristic of our human existence – a dollar amount, or how many people love it online – it's how many likes you got for something that you posted. Achievement does not reveal self-worth. It produces workaholics. You constantly need that feed of accomplishment. You constantly need to do something, to accomplish something, so people will like you for it. It's characterized by a sense of competitiveness, a sense of restless impatience, perfectionism, aggressiveness. Those individuals are also described within the empirical behavioral analysis of psychology as having low self-esteem – that's why they're so driven. You see how kind of all over the board this is – hard to pin down.

We know Solomon, in the book of Ecclesiastes, put together an in-depth analysis as to where he would look for value in life. And his conclusion, both at the beginning and even towards the end, he said “Everything is vanity. Everything is empty. It's worthless. It doesn't matter.” He said everything is valueless in this age. Yet, many today pin their value on pursuits – the same pursuits that Solomon called vain. So the pursuit of pleasure – that you will have great self-esteem, great self-value for yourselves – if you're happy in life, if you're seeking pleasure – so many do that – and their whole lives are a pursuit of pleasure. Some are pursuing human knowledge, human philosophy. Some are pursuing work and accumulation of wealth. Some think it's about popularity, status, fame. Some even think it's about religious ceremony versus the substance of what one's religion should be. It's the outward trimmings. It's what you see. It's what you experience on the surface.

In Ecclesiastes 2:17, Solomon wrote this. He said – and this is the New Living Translation – he said:

Ecclesiastes 2:17 – So I came to hate life…. There's a definition of low self-esteem for you. So I came to hate life because everything done here – some translations will say work – everything done here under the sun is so troubling. Everything is meaningless – like chasing the wind.

If we're placing the value systems of men, or even our own personal experience that builds our value system, ahead of what God thinks of us, we're chasing the wind. Our value does not come from what we can achieve. But this is what's being pursued today. Affirmation hasn't worked. It's built a whole nation now of narcissists, so now we need to bring in achievement. Where do you think that's going to get us in twenty years? Scripture tells us.

Needless to say, this misguided effort to puff up one another through self-affirmation, self-achievement, has only added to society's woes. In the Singal article, he actually describes a little practice they had when they were in school – in elementary school – everyone had a balloon, and at the beginning of the day, the balloon was not puffed up. It was just a regular balloon. And during the day, the degree to which you received good comments from others puffed up your balloon. And by the end of the day, if you had a really big balloon, that was your status symbol. “Look how many people gave me compliments!” And that was the practice in their class. Talk about being puffed up!

It's accepted today, even amongst us – I know this, because it's in my own thinking – I know it's been ingrained into our thinking, because it's been accepted within academia, the workplace. It's practiced all over the place. It's accepted that pop psychology's diagnosis – a quick diagnosis years ago – was based upon haphazard research and unfinished science, but it's accepted, because it's so driven by politics, confirmation biases, and opportunities for profit – cottage industries that pop up, saying that they can fix all of your problems by helping increase your self-esteem. And nothing has proven true.

Many lack an understanding of their self-worth, as I mentioned earlier, because they do no know from where that value originates. What caregiver is it that provides that for them? What authority figure confirms it for them? What value system measures it for them? And what standards preserve the measure of that value? Look at Romans 1 here. These are all questions that are not being asked with a spiritual influence or a scriptural guidance. And because of that, the answers are beyond their reach.

Romans 1:22-25 – Professing to be wise, they became fools, and changed the glory of the incorruptible God into an image made like corruptible man, and birds and four-footed animals and creeping things – in reference to idols. But we know that idolatry is much deeper and spiritually based than just a physical item. Verse 24: Therefore, God gave them up to uncleanness, in the lusts of their hearts, to dishonor their bodies among themselves – does that describe our society today and where we're heading morally? Verse 25: …who exchanged the truth of God for the lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen. As long as humanity continues to look to the created for the value that they can only realize from their Creator, they will be blind to their true value.

You know, when you look through scripture for the source of our true value, scripture presents no case of humanity that does not love itself. In fact, love for the self seems to be the core of the problem, just represented differently. Ephesians 5, and verse 29 is an instruction to married couples – talking about this connection between Christ and the church and how they should emulate that relationship. Paul says, in Ephesians 5, and verse 29, when he's inspired to tell husbands to love their wives like their own flesh, he wrote this. He said:

Ephesians 5:29 – For no one ever hated his own flesh – this is God-breathed. This is inspired by the Spirit of God that Paul wrote. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. So this is kind of ingrained in us that we love ourselves. The question maybe is not so much, “Do we?” The question is, “How do we?” How? By the ways of men apart from God? Or by the ways of God?
Look at Matthew 22 – Matthew, chapter 22, verse 34 through 40. This is kind of funny. I love the way this even begins, because the Sadducees were trying to trip Him up and He just made them look bad – so this begins now with the Pharisees. It says in verse 34:

Matthew 22:34-40 – But when the Pharisees heard that He had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered together. “Okay, this is going to be tougher than we thought and we don't want Him to silence us.” So they come up with a question they want to give Him. Verse 35: Then one of them, a lawyer, asked Him a question, testing Him, and saying, “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?”. Now, they're not asking this to learn. They're asking this to trip Him up – thinking they could do this – that He would choose one of the commandments over another and thereby say, “Don't the others matter?” And they would have trapped Him that way. But the commandments are actually built on the weightier matters of the law. And the weightier matters of the law are built on love. But it takes a spiritual mindset to understand that and apply it. They couldn't see that and this is what He's teaching them here. Here's what He said: And Jesus said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.” It's a quote from Deuteronomy. Verse 38: “This is the first and great” – in some translations, it says greatest – “commandment.” Verse 39: “And the second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.” And they had a difficult time with this, as you would imagine. We would today as well. Sorry, Whitney Houston, but learning to love yourself is not the greatest love of all.

The Bible tells us that down deep we all love our self. The problem is the measure of that love – the source of that love. When we are valuing ourselves relative to how men see us – humanity evaluates us and measures us – we've got problems, because our value doesn't come from them. They did not create us. It comes from our Creator. If you're going to make two chairs – I forgot…I shared this example recently with somebody – I don't remember who – if you're a great carpenter, and you make two chairs, but all you need for the time is, you just need to sit down on something. So you throw something together with pine and nail it together. It's very functional. You can use it anywhere – the garage, at the dining room table, whatever – and you throw that together. But at the same time, you start a three-year project making the throne for the Queen of England, right? Who is the only one that can determine the value of those two chairs? Thrones speak for something else other than just sitting down. But which chair would he rather have had functionally within his shop or house? Would you want to sit on the throne of the Queen of England for dinner? I'd be petrified that I would get the felt all messy or something – you know, spill something on it. If there are diamonds sewn all through, someone would come and steal it. I just want something to sit on, okay? But he's the only one that makes that decision. He's the creator. Now we, standing on the outside, can say, “Well that throne is much more valuable than that throne.” We can't make that call. So when we measure one another by our human standards, we're way off base. In fact, we're thumbing our nose at God, who created every one of us, and sees every one of us as incredibly valuable.

Now this idea, that learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all, is completely backwards, but it resonates because of the path humanity is on. Love for God is a love for what God holds dear. It's not just His laws, His standards, by how He lives, but what and who He creates. As 1 John says, you cannot love God if you're not loving your fellow man, because He created them. He holds them dear. But it takes a love for God to understand that. Now when God's value system becomes our own, the value He places on us is understood and there is no need to prove our worth in the value systems of men.

Now what is the measure of God's love? Let's go to 1 Peter here. And I apologize if I get choked up here, because I get choked up at this concept all the time. as I'm sure many of you do. If you have a question as to how God loves you – how deep is His love – it’s a song? Yeah, it was the Bee Gees, right? How Deep Is My Love? Sorry. Flashback. 1 Peter 1, verse 13 through 21. The first portion of chapter 1 here, he's talking about this living hope we have – greatly rejoicing about what God has given us, an expressible joy full of glory and so on. And then he reaches a therefore. And we know that whenever we see a therefore, we should read what's before it so you know how he got to this point. So this is what you have. This is a gift you've been given. This is how God sees you.

1 Peter 1:13-21 – Therefore – this is verse 13 – it says: Therefore, gird up the loins of your mind. Be sober, and rest your hope fully upon the grace that is to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. This is not about a life about seeking pleasure, or seeking to live up to the standards and values of human beings, or this physical age at all. Even your own impression of what you think may be valuable, if it's from a physical sphere only, we're missing this. It's in the mind. It's influenced by the Spirit and the word of God. Verse 14: As obedient children, not conforming yourselves to the former lusts, as in your ignorance – when you didn't understand the revelation of Jesus Christ, the plan of God, how God values you. Why are you going back to this old way of valuing yourself, which lead to nothing? Verse 15: But as He who called you is holy – set apart for special purpose – set apart by God for a special purpose – because as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct. Because it is written, “Be holy, for I am holy.” And if you call on the Father, who without partiality, judges according to each one's work – notice that. There’s no collective concept of men that He values. He has His own value system that we must understand and live by, and that's how He will judge. That's how His value is represented to us. Now again, we're not trying to earn His love. We cannot earn His love. He loves us anyway. We cannot earn salvation. That's not what this is talking about. But this whole self-esteem movement has so influenced popular Christianity, that's what many people think. “I can't. I can't. If I start keeping His law, that means I'm trying to earn salvation. I'm trying to earn His love. I can't do that. That's wrong.” No. See how distorted that is? And if you call on the Father, who without partiality, judges according to each one's work, conduct yourselves throughout the time of your stay here in fear. That's an interesting statement, because you would think that somebody who has high self-esteem would have a very low fear. We'll talk about that in a moment. Verse 18: …knowing that you were not redeemed with corruptible things, like silver or gold, from your aimless conduct received by tradition from your fathers. Think about how Solomon described that. These were all physical measures of value. Verse 19: But with the precious blood of Christ – this is how we were redeemed. This is how God bought us back. But with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot. We were blemished. We were spotted. But God died for us perfectly pure – unspotted, unblemished. Verse 20: He indeed was foreordained before the foundation of the world, but was manifest in these last times for you who, through Him, believe in God, who raised Him from the dead and gave Him glory, so that your faith and hope are in God. We can say this, as well, “Our value is in God.” And the more we know God, and the more we recognize this value, the more valuable we will feel. It's not self-determined. It's not a self-esteem. It's God's and understanding God's value in us. Here the exchange is made by our Creator that establishes our value before Him – the life of His Son – the life of His Son given for us. Does that measure, does that immeasurable value knock you to your knees? What greater price could be paid?

Turn with me please to Romans 8 – Romans 8, and we’ll read verses 31 through 39 – talking here about those He predestined, those He called, those He works to justify, and those He will glorify. In verse 31 he says this:
Romans 8:31-39 – What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? What battle is there between the value God places on us – of which we have just seen how immeasurable that is – and any value system of men? “Oh, I feel bad because I'm poor.” What? How can you be poor when God is your God? “I feel bad because I'm not educated. I feel bad because I don't have nice things. I feel bad because I'm not pretty, I'm overweight, I don't have nice clothes, I don't have a nice car.” Name it. Name whatever the value structure – the value construct is for human beings – and how does it compare to God's value for us? Verse 32: He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things? Everything. Verse 33: Who shall bring a charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril or sword? Or anybody who sees us as less valuable – by their own measures, not God's? Verse 36: As it is written: “For Your sake we are killed all day long. We are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.” Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord – the revelation of His value for us.

Self-determined worth is only sought when this value, that we have just hopefully recognized – that God places in us – is not understood or esteemed – when it gets displaced by the value systems of men – of humanity.

The pursuit of self-esteem resonates with so many today – and has over the past three or four decades – because it sustains the path away from God and His value that our human nature has let us down. And it's driven by and navigated by pride, by conceit, by vanity. That's why it appeals. That's why it's taken off and embedded itself. Brethren, it can't embed itself in us. We should have a totally different understanding of our value. And we're warned against this. Look at Galatians 5 here – Galatians, chapter 5. After Paul does a wonderful job of comparing the works of the flesh versus the fruits of the Spirit. Consider how the value systems of this world, or this age, would evaluate these two categories. And what value would they place? And what describes the very Spirit and nature of God that resides in us – love, joy, peace, patience, these inestimable treasures – versus the things that lead them to the pleasures of the flesh, which was just described? At the end of this, verse 24 through 26, he says this:

Galatians 5:24-26 – And those who are Christ's have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another envying one another. This is what saturates this world. Self-determined value is as fleeting as the flesh we are to crucify. And the human institutions that confirm that self-determined value – be yourself. Don't conform to anything or anyone. Love yourself for who you are, no matter how distorted that may be from God's value system. These human institutions that confirm that way blind us – blind everyone – to our true lasting value that is beyond the flesh – which is where God wants us to look – that eternity, that Solomon described, that resides within everyone's heart. Don't just assume we're going to live forever. There is a pathway to living forever that is defined by God's value system.

Look at 1 John, chapter 2 here. 1 John, chapter 2, describes this world and three categories in which all of these value structures and systems can be placed, and evaluated, and seen for what they are by those who understand God's true value. Verses 15 through 17 – John writes:
1 John 2:15-17 – Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. Dwell on that. The love of the Father is a recognition of the Father's value in us. So when we dwell within this world that should always be with us. That's the statement that Christ said – “Don't take them out of the world, but keep them from the evil one.” The question of those who say, “How do I live in this world without becoming part of it?” This has got to be seen. We must understand these three categories. Verse 16: For all that is in the world – the lust of the flesh – I want to eat, I want to feel good, I want to dress nice, I want comfortable surroundings, I want a great car, I want people to serve my flesh. That's residing within all of us. If we think it's not, we're deceiving ourselves. We're allowing ourselves to be deceived within this world. And then so becoming part of it – not just living around it. …the lust of the eyes – I see, I want. I see, I want. And the last one – the pride of life – if I could describe from scripture this whole concept – the push for increased self-esteem – this is where I would put it – the pride of life – the desire to live in conscious superiority of everybody else. That's what builds your self-value. He says: these things are not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it. But he who does the will of God abides forever.

When we exchange God's value for us with the value systems of this world, we begin to lose sight of our true value. In fact, we can wonder, “How can God love us? Because He hasn't given me a million dollar house. I asked for a Maserati. I didn't get one. How can God love me?” Or let's just bring it down quite a few pegs, okay? “My car keeps breaking down. If God truly loved me, He'd make sure my car would work okay.” “I keep getting fired from my jobs, and if God truly loved me, He'd give me a steady job.” We start questioning God's value and His love for us because of the value systems of this age and the flesh around us. And that's what lowers our understanding of the value He places in us. And that's what's driving this vacuum in everybody of low self-esteem, by their words. Love for self is not lacking in humans. The Bible mentions nothing of that. Rather humanity has lost the knowledge of who they are, and has traded God's love for their own prideful value systems, comparing one another with one another. Comparing themselves with themselves which Paul told us we dare not do. That's 2 Corinthians 10:12. He said it is not wise. We dare not do that. It is not self-hatred, brethren, that leads us to conceit and self-doubt – the kind of extremes of how psychology defines self-esteem. It is our own selfishness. It is our own human nature. Self-love over God's love – that's the gap. That is the emptiness that is not seen. This is the same selfishness that turns us away from God and then blinds us to our true value in God.

Let's look at 1 John 4 here – chapter 4, verses 17 through 19. This is often a scripture that’s taken out of context. We tend to lump all fear into one bucket, and all love into another bucket, but again, when we recognize the disparity between these value systems of men versus God, we understand this verse differently. Verse 17 of 1 John 4:

1 John 4:17-19 – Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgment, because as He is, so are we in this world. As we live in Christ, then in Christ, we have boldness to go to the Father. He talks about that in the book of Hebrews. We should review that as we approach Atonement – our at-one-ment – God covering us in Christ so that He can have a relationship with us. Verse 18 – now this is the one that is distorted: There is no fear in love, but perfect love – this understanding of God's perfect love and emulating that – perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. We love Him because He first loved us.

Now this fear – that is cast out by love – is not the fear of God. I've heard people say this: “How could I love God and fear Him? That doesn't make any sense. So I shouldn't fear Him.” No. The Bible says over and over, “Fear God.” It's the beginning of knowledge. It's the beginning of wisdom, according to the book of Proverbs. We love Him as our Father, but we fear Him as the God of all, and because of His position, His righteousness, His firmness in that righteousness. Yes, He's loving, He's tender, He's kind, He's merciful. But He's still God. He has authority and power and responsibilities of God that we must learn to respect so deeply that we fear before Him. Don't change that word fear to respect. It diminishes our relationship with Him. Love Him, yes, but fear Him at the same time. I realize that in human value systems that seems incongruous. But that's what the Bible tells us to do. Love Him and fear Him.

This fear that's cast out by love isn't a fear of God. It is a fear of falling short of the measures of men. When we understand God's perfect love for us, we don't worry about those kinds of things. We don't care about what men think of our value – how they would not value us, even to the point of persecution and martyrdom. What matters to us, in perfect love, is God's perfect love for us. The deeper God's love is realized, the more likely it will be emulated and requited by those He loves. God's love, fully understood, provides a richness that the value systems of men can never supplant, but this does not stop men from trying.

Let's look at 1 Corinthians, chapter 4 here. Look at Paul's approach. 1 Corinthians, chapter 4, verses 1 through 5. What changes is our approach to this life, and living in this age, when we truly understand God's value for us, when we recognize Him as our only judge. 1 Corinthians 4, verses 1 through 5:

1 Corinthians 4:1-5 – Let a man so consider us, as servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God. Moreover, it is required in stewards that one be found faithful. But with me, it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by a human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself.  How's that for the underpinnings of self-esteem? Don't judge yourself. That belongs to God. Learn of the Judge. Learn of His standards. Live by them and let Him judge. There is certainly time to discern and think – especially prior to Passover, we're supposed to be looking for evidence of Christ within us, so that we know we're the Body of Christ and we can approach the Passover with the right mindset. But in this case, judging and condemning oneself? “I stink. I stink. I'm bad. I'm ugly. I don't have the right body style” or “I'm not accepted by those around me. I'm not rich. I'm not a great athlete.” What are these measures compared to the measure we just read – of the love of God and the death of His Son? Verse 4: For I know of nothing against myself, yet I am not justified by this. But He who judges me is the Lord. Therefore, judge nothing before the time, until the Lord comes, who will both bring to light the hidden things of darkness and reveal the counsels of the hearts – which we just can't see now. He does. Then each one's praise will come from God. Each one's value will come from God. We will only realize our true value when God alone is our Judge.

In Matthew 23, verse 12 – I'll just give you three scriptures here and then we'll close with one more – sorry, four scriptures and we'll close with one more. Matthew 23, verse 12 – in Matthew 23:12 is a law. Christ said:

Matthew 23:12 – And whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted. This push to increase our own self-value, our own self-worth, from our own individual measures puffs us up. It exalts itself and the law is, we will be humbled. No matter…look at what's happening with those who pursued self-esteem. They're more miserable than ever. The law is, you're going to be humbled if you exalt yourself.
Self-effacement is another thing. We like to put ourselves down a lot, or talk goofy about ourselves – I’m just a goof. I'm a screw up I'm a sinner. Ha, ha.” That's still about the self. That's not humility. True humility is seeking and submitting to one's value in the eyes of God. I'll say that again. True humility is seeking and submitting to one's value in the eyes of God – and letting that be the determination of our worth.

In Romans 9:20, Paul says:

Romans 9:20 – But indeed, O man, who are you to reply against God? So who are you to answer God? I think of the response of Job to God when God appeared to him – how he was talking for twenty plus chapters prior to that, but now had a hard time finding the words – for good reason. Because that verse goes on to say in Romans 9:20: Will the thing formed say to him who formed it, “Why have you made me like this?” It makes reference to each of us as clay that the master forms for his purpose. Because we don't look like another vessel, does that diminish our value? When the One who values us most, measured in the very death of His Son, made us. Does anyone else need to recognize that value in us? Only God. And maybe us. To worship our Creator, we accept and submit to what He has created, including who we are and how He is remaking – recreating – us.

In Romans 14, and verse 4, Paul says:

Romans 14:4 – Who are you to judge another's servant? So if somebody else is a servant of God, who are we to judge them? I've seen so much criticism, in my years over the church, of those God places in authority. Doesn't matter if it was a local deacon, or an elder, or pastor, or somebody at the home office – whether it's the President or Ministerial Services or whatever – and I hear people's opinions, and all I can think of is Jude, when Jude describes those who are spots at our love feasts as…how does he describe them? They speak evil of things they know nothing of. Are we so puffed up that we're willing to speak evil of things we know nothing about? Who are you to judge another's servant? To his own master he stands or falls. Indeed, he will be made to stand, for God is able to make him stand. This includes self-assessment as well. Okay? We cannot condemn how God made us, how God wired us. Yeah, we have faults, we have issues, we have problems that we have to overcome by His power in us and His word in us applied in our lives. And we will do that. He promises to complete what He began in us. He's not puffing us up. He's confirming that He will do that. We should trust in that, no matter what our faults are – or, no matter what the faults in anybody else are. Our assessment of value must be made by God's standards, whether we're evaluating somebody else's behavior or even our own.

And then Philippians 2, verse 3 – Paul says:

Philippians 2:3 – Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind, let each esteem others better than himself. I'm not sure that the empirical research building self-esteem, which is not empirically proven anyway, would agree with that statement. In lowliness of mind, let each esteem others better than himself. This approach – this attitude to life – is an outward, loving focus that does not begin with an inward admiration for the self. It's not based on any constructive personal wealth. It begins with God's view – God's purpose – and understanding God's love for us.

Brethren, the ruler of this age is the author of its value systems. He's deceived all of the world – all of the world, all of humanity. He does not love us, but he hates us. How could our value – our true value –  be realized within classifications designed by our accuser by our Creator's adversary? It's not possible. If you're not recognizing your true value, we're not recognizing the value that God places in us. It's easy enough to do. We just need to read it and let His Spirit lead us to understand it.

Let's finish here in Romans 10 – Romans 10, verse 1 to 3:

Romans 10:1-3 – Brethren, my heart's desire and prayer to God for Israel – ancient Israel – is that they may be saved. For I bear them witness that they have a zeal for God, but not according to knowledge. For they being ignorant of God's righteousness – and notice that – it begins with an ignorance of God's righteousness – how He values things, how He views things, how He lives – and seeking to establish their own righteousness – their own value, their own way to live – have not submitted to the righteousness of God. That's where what is defined as low self-esteem begins. If righteousness is the inherent standard, and it most certainly is, then only He who is inherently righteous establishes it.

When we assign value that our Creator has set, when we measure our worth apart from His purpose for us and His standards that govern us, we lose our appreciation for, and thus our understanding of, the value that He places in us. Then we're left with no other choice but to determine for ourselves how we are valued within the incredibly unfair, feeble, and fleeting measures of men – of humanity. When God is removed, His standards are removed. When God is worshiped, His standards are worshiped – they're emulated. God's standards are the basis of His value system. And that's what measures us.

Everyone eventually asks themselves the question, “Why am I here? What is my value?” and then begins looking for purpose and significance in their life – their existence. But our endless focus on the self in this day and age, measured within the value systems of men, only blinds us to the source of our true value – our true worth in God. The created can only know their true value from their Creator. Brethren, let's never forget where our true value lies.