Tolerance and Acceptance

Thank you for the music. Very beautiful, big, full sound. Really appreciate that. Thanks. What a reminder, we do have an awesome God who does amazing things. Really appreciate that. Thanks.

Someone once said that opinions are a dime a dozen, because everybody's got one. But how do you deal with those who have different opinions from your own?

What do you normally do? How should you treat someone whose opinion is different from what yours is? Do we have a tendency to ignore them? Do we have a tendency to maybe exclude them? Or perhaps we shun them? Or maybe it even gets worse. Maybe we just argue with them or ridicule them behind their back.

I think we know, as God's people, none of those options are acceptable for Christians. They're not the way we're supposed to respond.

And yet, we have to ask ourselves, how do I normally deal with people that I have a difference of an opinion with? And maybe it's not even an opinion. Maybe it's just that they're just a different kind of person than I am. They're just a different personality. We really just don't seem to see eye to eye. We're kind of like sandpaper. We're just different personalities. How do you deal with that? Well, there's a chapter in the Bible that addresses that very concept. In fact, it zeros in on it and stays with it through most of the entire chapter.

It's over in the book of Romans. Romans 14 is a section of Scripture that deals with this very issue. How do you handle people that are of a different opinion? How do you handle people that have a different kind of personality than what you're comfortable with? What should we do? Well, Romans 14 deals with two concepts that are critical when addressing this issue. Two things. They are tolerance and acceptance. Tolerance and acceptance. These two traits are vital. If we're to have unity within the church, unity in the body of Christ, if we're to get along, even in our local congregation, in our congregational family, we must have tolerance and acceptance.

So let's take a few minutes to look at these traits and look at a number of points that we can think about and see if we can put tolerance and acceptance into a more thorough practice into our own lives. So take a look at Romans 14. Right at the very beginning, the apostle Paul starts off by saying, And now we're talking about opinions, aren't we? Things that are doubtful. If you read this in the New American Standard, it says, Accept them, but don't pass judgment on their opinions.

The amplified says, don't quarrel over opinions. And so right away, Paul begins chapter 14 by saying, Accept those who have opinions that are different from yours. That's a vital first point. We're supposed to accept them. Now what does that mean? If I'm supposed to accept them, that helps me to begin to see what do I have in common with them? How are we alike?

Yes, I'm supposed to accept them because that's what God tells me I'm supposed to do. He tells me I'm supposed to love other people. I don't just accept them because if I accept them, then I might be able to twist their arm and show them how wrong they really are. So they'll come to my way of looking at things. We're not supposed to do that. But we're supposed to care about them. We're supposed to be concerned about them. Why? Well, because they're a brother. Or they're a sister. They're a fellow child of God.

Not that I want to manipulate them into thinking what I think. This is a challenge because maybe in our culture we haven't really dealt with some of these things as well as we should have. Maybe not dealt with each other or these kinds of situations in the most appropriate way. Now what this is not saying, which I think is also critical, this is not saying that I should accept sin. That is not what this is saying. We cannot tolerate wrong.

Wrong is wrong, sin is sin. We cannot tolerate that. If you were to look at the letters to the churches in Revelation, Ephesus was commended for that very thing in Revelation 2. It's not going to turn there. But it says there that Christ recognized that they could not tolerate wicked men. And they were commended for that.

We have to be the same. Because a little later on Thyatira was criticized by allowing a false prophetess, by accepting a Jezebel in their midst, by accepting wrong teachings, accepting sin. And so we can't accept that. We can't possibly tolerate that. So Paul's not talking about that. He's talking about differences in personality, differences in opinions, about things that aren't dealing with sin, not talking about salvation issues, not talking about those kinds of things.

But instead, to be favorable toward people, to give them encouragement, to treat them in a proper way. In fact, if you were to bring up 26 translations of this particular verse, all kinds of different synonyms would come up that point the way of the kind of people we're supposed to be. We're supposed to be welcoming, one translation says. We're to welcome them, even if they're weak in the faith. We're to receive them. We're not to refuse them. We're to bear with them. We're to be ready to take them in. Which kind of paints a whole different picture than turning our back on them, or shunning them, or criticizing them, or accusing them.

And so we begin to see that this concept of acceptance is a key. It's a key to understanding how to relate to one another, how to deal with each other even when we think so very differently. Now, tolerance. Tolerance is recognizing and respecting others. Respecting their opinion. Can I respect someone's opinion even though it's different than mine? That's a hard thing to do sometimes, because we know they're wrong, right?

My opinion is the only one that counts. No, that's not the way it's supposed to be. Why not? Why within the church, we're on the same page, we're trying to be on the same page spiritually, but we might think differently about certain issues that really aren't even spiritual things. Now, why isn't it about the opinion? Why isn't it about their thought, or their belief, or even about their personality?

Because it's about the person. What do I think about the person? How do I accept that individual? You see, Christ so loved the world. God loved the world. The Father loves the world that He gave His only Son. He receives us, not by our merits, but because we're His. We need to do the same. We can welcome others who have opinions different than ours. So, maybe that's the question of the day. How well do we actually do that? How well do we receive or accept, welcome those who have a difference of opinion or a different personality? Sounds easy to do, but it is a tough one, isn't it? It's where sometimes Christianity meets the road.

It's a difficult thing to do. I had to think about that for a while as I thought, I wonder if it has something to do with the way we've been raised. Maybe our schooling. If you went to school the way I did, for some reason my teacher always said, that answer is wrong. This answer is right. And we look at things very black and white. I'm right, you're wrong. This is correct, that's a mistake. Black and white, opposites in that way.

But when it comes to this issue, this issue of acceptance and tolerance, it's all about showing love. It's all about the person. Whether their thoughts or their ideas or their personality come into play, we can't think of that in those terms. Because we can't build a relationship with them if that's the way we frame the issue.

Now you might say, well, it's kind of hard because we just don't get along. Anybody ever said that? We just don't get along. So I steer clear of them. Wait a second, is that what we're supposed to do? Is that what Paul started here in Romans 14? Is that what he said? Steer clear of those who are weak in the faith so you don't have to argue with.

No, he's not saying that at all. In fact, Christ says just the opposite. In fact, he puts even a greater emphasis on it. Here we're talking about our fellow brethren. Christ himself said, love your enemies. Love your enemies, even. So he took it to the next level. In fact, even the Psalms tell us how cool it is when this works in the church. How good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity. What a wonderful blessing that is. And so when it comes right down to it, this is what we must do.

We must accept others who have a difference of opinion. All right, that brings us to a second point. Point number two. Paul points out here in Romans 14, we have to strive to understand. We have to strive to understand others. Now, I don't know if you're like this or not. I find myself falling into these things way too often. If somebody's opinion is different than mine, they don't know what they're talking about. You ever feel that way? Because I've got to defend my position. I've got to stand my ground. I've got to take a stand. And I've got to convince them that they are wrong. I'm right. You're wrong.

Do we do that in the church? Do we do that in our families? Or as Paul is trying to point out here, maybe we ought to step back and listen a little bit. Maybe we ought to try to comprehend exactly what they're saying, what they're thinking. Are we truly striving to seek to understand? How can we have a right relationship with each other if we're really not trying to understand where they're coming from? So Paul's saying, try to understand their point of view. I may even find that my point of view isn't exactly right. Maybe they do have a point here. Or maybe I'm actually wrong. That's a hard one. Maybe I'm actually wrong. Well, even if I'm not, maybe I am right. Maybe it'll come clear that I am right in thinking what I do. My opinion is right. But when I accept that other person, I begin to understand them. Have I begun to build a bridge? Even though we disagree on this issue that is not a salvation issue whatsoever, have we begun to have a better relationship? Are we really understanding each other? You see, that's the challenge that Paul sets before us. That God sets before us. We begin to look at each other in a much more positive way. And when you look at these things, you read through Romans 14. It is very evident. The Apostle Paul understood. Now, he didn't agree with these people that he's addressing here in Chapter 14. We'll come to see that. He didn't agree with them. But the way he writes this, he fully understood where they were coming from. He understood what it was all about. And so, as you begin to see these very things, if you look to verse 2, notice what it says here in verse 2. It says, So this issue of whether you should eat meat that's been offered to an idol or not comes right to the fore. And Paul points out very clearly, this isn't a sin. This isn't a salvation issue. But he identifies it as a matter of faith. Because this was bothering their conscious to do that very thing. And of course, we see this and we go, yeah, that was a pretty big issue because they had that meat in the marketplace and they were offering it to idols. And I could see why somebody might think that and why they might get into a little bit of a disagreement over that. That would never happen in the church today, would it?

I've been a part of situations where we just about split the church over what time we should meet for services. Well, should we meet at this location or we meet at that location? Should we have this social and meet with those people or not meet? Because if you meet with those people, you're terrible. And if we don't, then we're so much better. We're not talking about these issues that are vital to the kingdom. We could get into a big discussion and argument over simple things in the Bible that have no consequence. It doesn't really matter. Does that ever happen? Well, it does, I think, when we don't seek to understand each other. Now, Paul goes on to a third thing. Let's notice a third thing right here in verse 3. He says, we don't have the fact that tolerance and acceptance, including that understanding, are requirements for all of us. This isn't just a nice thing or it would be a good idea or why don't you try to do it? No, he says tolerance and acceptance and understanding is required. Verse 3, Does that happen with us? I think it does. I think it can. Just imagine this situation. I'm not saying this happened. Not saying these are real people. The names have been changed to protect the innocent. But just imagine a scenario like this. One couple thinks it's best to homeschool their children. It's a good thing. Not necessarily a bad thing. Is it a kingdom issue? No. It doesn't matter. But they try to persuade another couple that they ought to be homeschooling their children. They don't want to homeschool their children. They disagree. They have a difference of opinion. How do we get along? Maybe even they cite the Scripture. If you don't take care of your own, you're going to send your child out into that horrible world and they're going to be impacted by all these terrible people out there with these wrong morals and issues and problems. You're going to throw your child out there. Don't you know that Scripture says you're worse than an infidel if you don't take care of your own?

Have you ever heard Scripture thrown around like that?

But the fact is, each couple has to make a decision based on their own judgment, on how they understand raising their own family, dealing with their own children. Now, the critical situation is that these two couples have to get along. They have to be a part of the same congregation. They have to be a part of the same body of Christ. And they have to continue to love each other and work with each other and care for each other and worship together. And so Paul is telling us, we've got to set aside those opinions and learn to tolerate each other. And more than tolerate, not just put up with, but understand each other. Because we might think these spiritual principles are clear as a bell. But very devoted people might come to very different conclusions about an issue. Let's say it's homeschooling, or whatever it might be. That's just an example. And so when we look at that, it comes down to then the application. Here people in the church in Rome were coming to different conclusions. Some said, I can eat that meat because an idol is nothing. Others said, well, this is really bothering me. Because I don't even like the idea that some idol had anything to do with this meat. So I don't want that. And so Paul is telling us, we've got to make allowances for differences that are in these kinds of matters. Because if we, like it says in verse 3, if we regard them with contempt, or we ridicule them, or we think less of them, we criticize them, we think, well, the opposite would be, I think I'm better than you because I'm doing this and you're doing that. Oh boy, we get into trouble. But that's the typical way we all react, isn't it? Normally my way is right and your way is wrong. So if I'm right, I've got to look down on you because you're different. And so my perception then is you've got some kind of problem here. And so I'm not sure that I could really have a relationship with you, or maybe I can't really trust you the way I'd like to be able to trust you. And so that happened in the church in Rome. That very thing happened. They had this division, this difficulty over food. And of course, human nature flares up, and in the midst of all of it, brothers and sisters who should be getting along are regarding each other with contempt. They're despising each other, looking down on each other. And you know, we oftentimes just try to categorize that as, well, that's them, or maybe that happens in the church. But how often really does that happen even within our own families? Within our own families? Maybe our greater family? Maybe even between husbands and wives? How often am I right, and I'm going to stand my ground? Instead of saying something like, you know, it's possible you are right. We've got to work together. How can we work together to honor God so that we can accomplish His will? We come to it from that position. It creates a whole different environment. Because it reminds us, when it comes to tolerance, it's more than putting up with someone. It's recognizing that there's no reason that we shouldn't be able to get along. Now, it's not compromising, because I might home-school and you might not. Okay. It doesn't mean I have to compromise in order to get along and love you and care about you. It's not about that. I ran across an interesting quote from a rabbi. His name was Joshua Loth Liebman. Sounds like a rabbi, doesn't it? This is what he said. Tolerance is the positive and cordial effort to understand another's beliefs, practices, and habits without necessarily sharing or accepting them.

In other words, I don't have to believe what you believe. But we can be all right. We can have a relationship. It can be very, very good. I can love you. And I can think very differently from you. You believe that? You should, because I've never met my wife and I. How about your family? Very different opinions at times.

But we've got to learn to love each other and care about each other. And that can't just be between husband and wife. That's got to be infiltrated throughout the entire church. It has to be this way. And so Paul talked about this over and over and over again. In fact, the church in Corinth had some of the same issues that the church in Rome had. He told Corinth much the same thing. He said, There shouldn't be any divisions or schisms among you, but that you're supposed to be perfectly joined together.

That's 1 Corinthians 1, verse 10. He talks about that very fact. We're supposed to be of the same mind. We're supposed to be like-minded. It doesn't mean we agree on every single little detail, but we love each other and we care about each other.

And from that standpoint, we have exactly the same mind because we have each other's best interest in mind. So that means... Point number 4. Don't condemn. You see, the opposite of tolerance and acceptance is condemning. Condemnation. We can't be too harsh in judging others. If you notice what Paul says in verse 4. He says, Now that is not saying we're recognizing what they're doing and I'm discerning this situation. That's not what he's saying here because we should always be doing that. What he's saying here is they're judging a situation in order to put them down, in order to condemn them. Who are you to condemn another man's servant?

Who are you to do that? He says, Or in other words, all right, he's got a different opinion about this than you do. We're not talking about salvation here. God's going to take care of him just as well as he's going to take care of you. Because God loves him as much as he loves you and God's going to take care of this. So we begin to see a couple of interesting things. Maybe our normal reaction is to condemn. But see, if we do that, we take that ultimate judgment out of God's hands and then we stand as the judge, jury, and the executioner and pass sentence on others.

God says, no, we can't do that. That's not our job. That's not our job to do. That's God's job to do that. It also points out the fact that God does accept this person with their opinion. He accepts them. And if it was really that important to God, would he take care of that? Would he correct that? Would he guide them in their understanding? If this person is standing before God with sincerity, with a sincere heart, when it comes to that little issue, God accepts them. So what does that mean for me, then? Well, I should do what God does, shouldn't I? Shouldn't I? We've got to be so careful when it comes to these kinds of things.

Now God's going to continue to work with us. And He shows so interestingly how He does that very thing. Look at verse 5. He says, He says, So here's another one of those issues He's talking about. Well, you fast on this day, I fast on that day. Well, this is the traditional way to fast. This is the traditional day to do it. If you don't do it this way, you're wrong. Wait a second. Isn't fasting the issue? Isn't drawing close to God the real issue? So if you do it on this day and I do it on that day, so what?

What's the difference? Well, He's saying God doesn't care about that issue. And it's also interesting. Paul here is not saying this guy's right and that guy's wrong. He points to the heart, doesn't He? He points to the motivation behind it. What's the motivation behind that? And so when we have a disagreement with someone, yeah, they've done something to disagree with me, but have I condemned them? Have I harshly judged them? Or maybe I just wrote them off. Don't want anything to do with them. Or maybe we just put a label on them.

Yep, that's the way they are. They are just like that. Or, on the other hand, what Paul writes about. He says we can sincerely try to understand them. We can make room for them. We can welcome them. And let God take care of the rest of that in His time because they're my brother. They're my sister. They deserve love and respect. We're part of the family. And so I can remember what James 5.9 talks about. I'm not going to grumble about things that don't matter. I'm not going to take this issue and make it a gigantic hill to die on.

I'm not going to do that because it's not an issue. I'm going to let the ultimate judgment be in God's hands. And then Paul gives us another reason why this is so critical. If you look over to verse 8, he begins to...well, verse 7. Let's go back to verse 7. He says, Not one of us lives for himself, and not one dies for himself.

Point 5. We are a family. We're a family. We're in this together. And so by God's Spirit that binds us together, we've got the same father. We've got the same elder brother. We're not living to ourselves. We're one giant spiritual family. And so we're in it together. We're on the same path. We're striving for the same goals. We might have a couple of differences of thought, maybe different personalities, but we're in it together. And that's what our ultimate goal is. And so how we treat each other, we want that to reflect this ultimate relationship. We want to live God's way and treat each other so well when people come among us.

They recognize that. They notice. There's something special here. These people get along with each other. Would people be attracted to that? Would people notice that? You know, when you put living faith on display, I think people can't do anything else but stand up and take notice. These little things, they're put on the side because we see God's Spirit at work. And so people can recognize that, and they can recognize the fact that right here in Cincinnati, God's presence is here in the United Church of God.

This is a safe place. This is a caring place. This is a loving place. This is a place that's a home that I want to be a part of. And so I think God's given us this goal to make that a reality. We have to make it a reality within our own individual families. But we've got to make it a reality within our congregation. And I believe we have. But here, Paul is pushing us to do even better, to do even better, because we welcome all who come and worship in peace with us.

We have to be loving. We have to be accepting. We have to be tolerant of all. I mean, how could we accept new people if we can't even accept each other? If we can't accept each other, how are we going to reach out? How are we going to preach the gospel by that living, breathing example? You see, Paul's pointing to that very fact that we are a family. Verse 8, he says, If we live, we live for the Lord.

If we die, we die for the Lord. Therefore, whether we live or die, we are the Lord. For to this end, Christ died and lived again, that He might be, what? That He might be Lord of both the dead and the living.

So here, he's continuing to make this contrast between the meat eaters, the meat non-eaters. The people that love 11 o'clock for services, those that love 2.30, those that would want to meet at the holiday and every week, and those that would want to meet at the home line. All of those differences, he's saying, hey, I accept all these. They're all accepted by God and are all working, striving toward the Kingdom of God.

And so we can't hold such a narrow view that we'd condemn those that wouldn't eat meat. We're not going to condemn those that go home and eat tonight and then come back for the dance. Well, those cheapskates, why didn't they stay here for the meal? Well, we put labels on people, don't we? I heard an interesting... well, actually it was a joke. But it's one that's more than just a joke. I think it's so telling.

A comedian named Emo Phillips wrote this little story. And it deals with this very, very narrow view we often find ourselves in. Think about it for a minute. Here's what he wrote. He said, I was walking along and I saw this guy on a bridge and he was about to jump. And I said, don't jump! He said, why not? I said, well, do you believe in God? He said, yeah.

I said, are you a Christian? And he said, yeah, I'm a Christian. I said, well, me too. Okay, now the rest of this, don't imagine me saying this, okay? He said, well, what denomination? He said, I'm a Baptist. I said, me too. I said, what denomination of you?

Are you Northern Baptists or Southern Baptists? He said, Northern Baptists. I said, me too. Are you Northern Conservative Baptists or Northern Liberal Baptists? He said, Northern Conservative Baptists. I said, me too. I said, Northern Conservative Baptists Great Lakes Region or Northern Conservative Baptists Eastern Region. He said, Northern Conservative Baptists Great Lakes Region. I said, wow, me too. I said, Northern Conservative Baptists Great Lakes Region Council of 1879 or Northern Conservative Baptists Great Lakes Region Council of 1912.

He said, Northern Conservative Baptists Great Lakes Region Council of 1912. And I said, die heretic, and I pushed him over the bridge.

Now, you could put probably Church of God in there somewhere, or maybe put family members' names in there. I don't know. But you might say, well, that's silly. But I tell you, and you've seen it, if you're from Cincinnati, if you've ever seen pretty animated discussions about Gold Star Skyline, you've seen it. You've seen it. And we have our opinions, and boy, it can separate us.

And the silliness carries on. Well, not even thinking of Whitney and Erin, but I went to the hospital and had my baby. Oh, no, you would never want to do that. You have to have your baby at home, because that's the spiritual thing to do. Where is that in Scripture? I'm not really sure. I went to a birthing center. Oh, no, are you kidding? You can't go to a birthing center. You have to do the La Boire.

That's the method you should use. Well, no, you can't do that. You have to do natural, the most natural. You have to have a water birth, or you have to do La Maize or a breath. Wow, we get into all those kinds of things and we separate ourselves out.

And God says that is unacceptable. It's unacceptable. He tells us there's even more. What we need to do to counter all of these kinds of things. Paul points out right here in Romans, we have to focus on building relationships. Focus on building relationships. Can we have an acceptance? Can we have an openness? Can we have a spiritual exchange of ideas that can cause growth in God's church today? I think we can.

When there's mutual love, when there's mutual respect, we learn from each other. We don't attack each other. We strive to connect with each other. Even though, yeah, we've got some of those differences of opinions. We don't want to take God's job.

We don't want to stand in judgment of others. Now, in verse 10, he says, why do you judge your brother? Or you, again, why do you regard your brother with contempt? He says, we shall all stand before the judgment seat of God, for it's written, As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, every tongue shall give praise to God. So then each one of us shall give account of himself to God.

And boy, what a relief that should be. I don't have to judge all these situations. God's going to take care of this stuff because he sees the heart. God sees the heart. I can't. I can put any of those things into God's hands because he knows the true motivation.

He knows the true intent. And ultimately, most of that stuff doesn't matter. A hill of beans anyway, unless it's skyline chilly. Then it does matter beans, so be careful. Right? It is interesting. Even in the church in Philippi, they had some kind of issue just like this. You might just write down Philippians 4. Beginning of chapter 4, it talks about two ladies, probably deaconesses in the church, Eodia and Cinticia, who just had some kind of a thing going on where they were butting heads.

I don't know if it was over potlucks or where to put the service line or whether those utensils should be out there or if you plug in all the crockpots at once or what it was about. I don't know. But Paul tells them to figure it out, work it out. And he didn't say, oh, they're horrible, terrible people. He said they were both co-workers.

So these two prominent people, women in Philippi, people that were co-workers in the ministry of Jesus Christ, were stuck in some kind of a conflict and they needed help. And so Paul tries to get them the help that they need. Sometimes we need help. Sometimes we need help. Can we pray for God to guide us in building right relationships? That's what he wants us to do.

In fact, as we look at the last section here in Romans, it talks about developing a unity. If we're going to build relationships, we will develop unity by submitting to God in His will. So point seven, develop unity by submitting to God. And ultimately, that will lead to the right kind of healthy communication and healthy exchanges. Look at verse 19. Paul says, Let us pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another.

Do not tear down the work of God for the sake of... Well, this one says food. You could put a blank there. Do not tear down the work of God for the sake of... Skyline Chili. Don't tear down the work of God for the sake of homeschooling. Don't tear down the work of God for the sake of home birth. Don't tear down the work of God... For whatever that opinion of yours is, that is not a salvation issue.

He says, that's not what it's about. And whatever it is, he says, I'm not going to offend my brother. I'm not going to do anything that's going to get in their way. So I'm going to avoid any kind of jealousy. I'm going to avoid criticizing. I'm going to avoid competing, feeling like I have to compete with someone. I'm going to avoid the fact that sometimes I just feel like being contrary.

If they say that, I'm saying this. He says, don't do that. He says, get along with each other. Don't get back at each other. We can't compare ourselves among ourselves. We've got to be willing to resolve those problems. In fact, he kind of set up this whole scenario about two chapters before this. If you turn back to chapter 12, notice chapter 12, verse 10.

Here he shows the ultimate solution when it comes to dealing with each other and our differences of opinion. Romans 12, verse 10, he says, Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another. Now, if you read that in the expanded Bible, it says, love one another, or be devoted to each other like brothers and sisters in a right, healthy family. It goes on to say, give each other more honor than you would want for yourselves. That's pretty amazing. Give each other more honor than you want for yourselves.

Expanded says, be eager to show honor to one another. Outdo one another in showing honor. So God's given us that very task. We can even be a stronger people, spiritually speaking, when we can begin to see beyond our differences of opinion, beyond the differences in our personalities, when we really begin to accept others who have different opinions and really try to understand them, see things from their perspective, that we can understand them, and we can even more than tolerate them.

And not do it just because we're supposed to do it or we have to do it, but that we want to do it. And we're going to put that judging, condemning attitude behind us. And that's not going to be a part of our thinking because we're family. We're God's family. We have so much going for us. And so we're going to focus on building, building right relationships, building and edifying each other up.

We're going to develop a unity that cannot be broken. And that can happen by submitting to God and really getting to understand each other. So let's do that very thing. Let's express the kind of compassion and the kind of concern for each other that really builds our congregational family even more. And we're going to be able to do that if we follow Paul's instructions. And on that basis of love, we will certainly tolerate and accept each other.