The Value of Family

Thank you very much for the Houston congregation for hosting this. So the theme is, you know, is the family relevant in 2018? What an important topic.

The family has been under attack since I was a child. I'd like to read you some quotes about the family from some pretty famous people.

Princess Diana, family is the most important thing in the world. George Moore, a man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it.

Or Lee Iacocca, the only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works, is the family. People know that family is important, and yet there is a war on families. As Mr. Sappington said, it especially targets the fathers, but it also targets the entire family, where we're not a unit anymore, and we're just bombarded. And like I say, it's been that way since I was a kid. Satan will not let up on this. In many nations, including ours, about half of all marriages end in divorce. And that's just the ones that get married, because nowadays people don't bother getting married. They don't bother making a commitment. Our mass media plays a major role in undermining the family. The message is today, a lot of the music, denigrate or degrade the females, turning the females into some kind of a sex object. You know, it used to be love songs. Now it's just sex songs. As though you're just, you know, the female is just a sum of her parts, and therefore she better work on how she looks and ignore how she thinks, because she is just an object.

It just denigrates people, this society does.

Sitcoms and movies glorify the single life.

And the more promiscuous that that single life can be, the better.

Men are depicted as idiots, as Mr. Sappington said. They're self-centered and irresponsible, but women are depicted as being mean and controlling. And society pretends that that self-centered behavior is somehow strong. That the woman who stays at home and is respectful and supports her husband is somehow weak. I say nay nay. She is the strong one. Children are often portrayed as being normal if they're disrespectful to parents and if they're disinterested in the family life altogether.

TV shows and movies, they push the envelope with sex, nudity, profanity, and perversion.

So what I would like to do is go through just a few things that can benefit us about the family and draw it down to one single point this afternoon. One single point that we can take away from focusing our thinking on is the family relevant in 2018. What does the family do for us? I'm only going to give us three benefits today of family in general that come from the scriptures.

We've known these scriptures, we've heard them, and yet a lot of times we bury ourselves with the clicker in the TV or the phone or the tablet computer and we ignore the family. We have a rule at our house and we had to institute the rule because those devices are so addictive that you cannot have a device at the dinner table. No, there will be conversation at the dinner table.

So benefit number one that comes from family is that happiness, happiness comes from a family that works. Happiness comes from a family that works. The single life that is depicted as being so happy and fulfilling in media. Family is depicted as being boring and dull in the media, and nothing could be further from the opposite of the truth.

Being single is just another word for being alone. Genesis 2, verse 18, and the Lord God said, it is not good for a man to be alone.

I will make a helper comparable to him. And God instituted a family. Why did God institute a family? Because the single life is a terrible life. Ecclesiastes chapter 4, verse 9.

Two people are better off than one. For if they can help each other, succeed.

If one person falls, the other can reach out to help.

We're starting to see some benefit here to having a family.

Stay with me. Even if you don't have a family, this will make sense in just a moment.

Verse 11, likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm.

I had a conversation with a gentleman just walking here today remembered in his youth when he would go out hunting for raccoons and he would need to take a nap and it would be a little chilly. So he'd put a bed of leaves down and he'd lie down to go to sleep. And two dogs would lie down with him because it was cold. He never remembered being cold. Because when two lie down together, there is warmth. I suppose dogs count in there too. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two stand back to back and conquer.

Three are even better, and a triple braided cord is not easily broken. Happiness. There is happiness in a family. Psalm 127, if you'll turn there, King David literally says, if you have a family, you're happy.

You're probably thinking, now, wait a minute, I've got a family.

I got a family and the kids squabble and mom and dad don't always agree. And what in the world are you talking about? Well, step back and look at the big picture. Step back and look at it from God's point of view. And you'll see, when you have a family, you have happiness. Psalm 127, verse 3, Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord. The fruit of the womb is a reward.

The media puts down women who have children and exalts women who they call powerful, if they don't have children and have a career, or maybe just have one child and a career.

And they put down mom. But right here, David said the fruit of the womb is a reward.

And what does that reward bring? Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them. Happy is that man.

They shall not be ashamed, but shall speak with their enemies in the gate. You know, you go through hard times. You squabble and you disagree. But at the end of the day, when the enemy comes knocking at the door, you stand together. I remember one time, I have two brothers, and we were all in a three-way fight with each other. We didn't care who we hit or who we tackled because we were mad. And it was just a rolling round table of fighting and rolling on the grass. And somebody came up and decided to help one of us.

And threw in and started hitting the other brothers. And all three of us turned on that guy. You don't hit my brother. That poor guy thought he was going to help one of us out.

Little did he know, we were family. And yeah, we might not get along every single day or in every single situation, but at the end of the day, we stood together and we were happy.

But there's another benefit, a second benefit, right in this psalm that comes from being a family, from having a family. It's not just happiness that he mentioned, is it? There was another thing mentioned and that's security. Safety. There is safety in a family.

You know, women often seek security, but the media tells you that security is found when you seek power. Really? Security is when you have a lot of people around you. That's what security is.

Verse 5 of that psalm 127 said, they shall not be ashamed, but shall speak with their enemies in the gate. They don't hide from their enemies. They don't back down from their enemies. Oh, you don't mess with those. Fill in the blank. Family. You don't mess with that family. There's too many of them. You take out one, five more will come at you, and they have cousins.

The opposite of Psalm 127 is Proverbs chapter 11 and verse 29. You see, family brings happiness, but it also brings security. But when you don't have family, what do you get? What do you inherit?

Proverbs chapter 11 and verse 29. I'll read this from the NIV. Whoever brings ruin on their family will inherit only the wind. I don't know about you, but I can't eat wind.

I can only feel it. And in the middle of December, it's pretty cold.

Whoever brings ruin to their family will inherit only the wind.

And a fool will be a servant to the wise. There's no security in being alone.

When you fall down, as it says in Ecclesiastes, there's nobody to pick you up. So you have to get up on your own. And you better hope that the person who knocked you down is not standing there, waiting to knock you down again, because you're alone. And that's a terrible place to be.

So not only does family bring happiness, family also brings security.

And that's right out of the pages of the Bible.

But what if you don't have a family?

We'll get there.

It's bad to be alone, but society, including our government, has instituted policies that undermine the family. With gender confusion, trying to redefine marriage as something different than between a man and a woman, and sometimes it's actually less expensive to file single than to file jointly as husband and wife to pay your taxes.

You can actually be penalized for being married financially.

But there's happiness and there's security in family. And there's a third benefit to family.

And Mr. Sappington touched on this as well, as fathers point us to God the Father, and having a relationship with God the Father, family teaches us how to function within the family of God. Families teach us how to interact with other people, to take care of other people.

When you're doing the dishes, you don't just do your dish when you have a family. You do five or six other people's dishes as well.

You take out their trash, not just your trash. You fold their socks, not just your own.

You learn how to take care of each other because you have a family. You learn in a functional family about how to operate in God's family. God being our Father, we are part of his family. Ephesians chapter 3 verses 14 and 15. Ephesians chapter 3 verse 14 and 15. For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named. God is our Daddy. He's the Father, the Head of this family.

Church is not only a physical type of the family of God and learning to become like the children of God, but when we have God's Spirit, it literally makes us the family of God.

So we are family, and that's not just a trite saying. That's not just a cliche.

Literally, we are family right now. Look around. This is literally your family.

We are to become spirit beings, but not apart from each other, but rather as a family. Notice, Mr. Sabington read Romans chapter 8 verses 14 through 16, where it says, For as many are led by the Spirit of God, these are the sons of God. I'd like to pick that up in verse 17. Let's pick it up right where he left off.

Verse 17, And if children, then heirs, heirs of God, and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him. So this life, it's not promised to be peachy and easy and without trial.

You know, sometimes we pray to be healed, and God doesn't take that thorn out of the flesh. The Apostle Paul asked three times to be healed, and he didn't describe what his issue was. But he begged God three times to heal him. God's answer was, my grace is sufficient for you. You're headed for the kingdom, buddy. That's good enough.

And that thorn in your side teaches you to be humble all the way.

So we will suffer with Christ. It says, For indeed we suffer with Him.

And how do we get there? Read the next phrase.

That we also may be glorified together.

Oh, this is a family thing.

Yes, you have to work out your own salvation.

Yes, salvation is a personal responsibility.

But church is family.

You have a family.

Oh, did you grow up in a messed up household?

Did you grow up in a household that one like Mr. Sappington described? That father chased the son around with a butcher knife?

I know a guy whose father shot at him.

Multiple shots as he was running away.

Fortunately, he knew to run in a zigzag pattern and did not get hit.

We will be glorified together. We are a family.

Did you come from a great family and learn all about God the Father and how to relate?

Some of us did. Some of us did not.

And yet, God called all of us together, put us in congregations, and said, Go be a family.

Now what do we do?

We are literally the family of God, and Satan hates that.

And the attack on the physical family in our society is an attack on you and me, learning to become like our Father and learning to reflect that light in a very dark world. Satan does not want the family to survive because he hates what you and I will potentially become.

Ephesians 4 and verse 6, One God and Father of all, who is above all and through all and in you all.

So what if your background limits how you feel about the church being your family?

What if all the trouble in the churches as of late, I mean in the past couple of decades, squelches how you feel connected to the church as a family?

What if you don't feel like part of the family?

Some people feel outcast and not accepted.

Some people feel disenfranchised and unaffected, and they literally just don't care anymore.

Others, they just feel lost. There's no animosity. There's no anger. They just, they're lost.

Where do I go? There's no family anymore.

They don't even know how to feel like a family anymore. How can you get that feeling of being part of a family?

That's the one point I want to leave with you this afternoon.

There are a lot of benefits to family. How can you get the family back?

You know, we have a historical record of a church who lost that family feeling and got it back over a couple of centuries, but it happened. And it's not too dissimilar to what happened to us, so let's take a look. The church in the first century had a problem.

They started out strong, and you might say they lost that family feeling.

And they were criticized when the Apostle John was at the end of his life and was being given the book of Revelation. Before Jesus Christ got into the day of the Lord and, you know, the 666 and the beast and time, time, and half a time and all of that, the first thing he did was describe the church. And that very first church, he says in Revelation 2, verses 2-5, Revelation 2, verse 2. Jesus Christ, speaking to this century of the church, the first century, the church of the apostles, verse 2, verse 2, verse 2, verse 2.

And he's not just talking about preaching the gospel, although that's part of it. But if you read the accounts in the book of Acts, they took care of each other. They were family. When there was famine in one part of the world, congregations from another part of the world would load up goods and wagons and send them down, or put them on ships and send them down. And they would take care of each other. They would house each other in their homes when they traveled. They didn't have buildings like this in the first century to meet. Where did they meet for church? People's homes. They just opened up their home. Move stuff to the side. People are coming in. But it says in verse 4, Nevertheless, I have this against you, that you have left your first love. They stopped loving each other. What happened? What happened in the first century that they stopped loving each other? They started out caring for each other. But then persecution happened. They grew up in a society, the church started in a society that was very religiously tolerant.

They were tolerant of anything, very similar to where we are today in 2018. Very tolerant society. And all of a sudden, that changed. The tolerance went away, and national religion sort of engulfed the Roman Empire. Emperor worship came in. And persecution started to increase. And when persecution increased, that meant people started dying. When people started dying, they went into hiding.

And they stopped caring for each other. And they lost their love. Verse 5, What's the solution? How were they and we to get the family back? What did Jesus Christ tell them to do? Verse 5, Remember, therefore, where you have fallen. You used to take care of each other. Remember where you fell from. First step is look at where you're supposed to be.

See the benefits of the family and get back there. Repent and do the first works. How do you get that family feeling back? You work at it! Or else I will come quickly and remove your lampstand from its place. Unless you repent. Loving each other is kind of a big deal. You know, having your lampstand removed means you're out. You can do this. Notice the very next era, if you will, of the church. Some say era in history.

Some say era in the church. Notice the next century. The church went through some very hard times and they did not use those hard times as excuses. They took the warning to repent and get back and the church got back on track. And they went through some of the hardest times in the history of the church, as far as persecution, which I'll describe in just a second. Revelation 2, verse 8. To the angel of the church of Smyrna write, These things says the first and the last, who was dead and came to life. I know your works, tribulation and poverty, but you are rich.

So they had an excuse. They had an even harder time than the first century church did. Persecution didn't let up. Persecution got worse. And yet, they captured and maintained their love. And I know the blasphemy of those who say they are Jews and are not, but are the synagogue of Satan. The word blasphemy there is very similar to the word slander.

In other words, people were making false accusations against them. Ever heard that before? Ever been slandered? You know how that feels. They would say things like, they're pyromaniacs because the church believes the world will end in fire. Of course, it will be made new. They leave that part out. They say that they're cannibals because they take the Passover and eat the bread, which is the body of Jesus Christ. The cannibals. And all kinds of slanderous things, they said. They said they were against the family because they wouldn't go to the stadium and worship the emperor. Along comes emperor Diocletian. Well, let's read on a little bit.

Do not fear any of those things, verse 10, which you are about to suffer. And they did not take any of this hard time and use it as an excuse to not be a loving family. Do not fear the things that you're about to suffer. Indeed, the devil is about to throw some of you into prison, and you will be tested, and you will have tribulation for 10 days. They would have 10 years of very, very bad tribulation. And during the time of emperor Diocletian, in the year 303, he wrote a decree that took all lands away from anybody who was Christian, either real Christians or by that time there was also the proto-orthodox Christians as well, who had already drifted away from the truth.

It didn't matter. Diocletian didn't care. Emperor Diocletian killed them all. Any he could find, he threw them into prison or killed them. They couldn't work. They couldn't get a job. And anything that they owned was taken and owned by the state and given to those people that supported Diocletian. And that lasted exactly 10 years, as it was predicted, the day for a year principle, which I don't have time to get into.

But at the Battle of Milan, at the Battle of the Bridge of Milan, an emperor named Constantine, Constantine overthrew Diocletian and gave the decree of Milan, which essentially gave all of the property of Christians back. And exactly from 303 to 313 AD, there was a time where Christians were just openly executed. It was the worst time of persecution in church history. And yet, not a single thing, not a single criticism, is written about this church.

Not a single thing was written to criticize them. They didn't use any excuse. Nothing stopped Smyrna from being a family. Nothing stopped them from loving each other. What's stopping you? What's stopping me? Nothing. Verse 10, do not fear any of these things are about to happen. The devil will throw you into prison. You'll be tested and you'll have tribulation for 10 days. Be faithful unto death, and I will give you a crown of life. They didn't want an excuse. They wanted a crown.

He who has an ear to hear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. He who overcomes shall not be hurt by the second death. I had a friend when I was growing up. I'm not going to tell you if it was a boy or girl. It doesn't matter. It was a friend. And this friend felt like he or she never fit in, never was accepted, never belonged, was always ridiculed, was always the butt of the joke.

I'm not accepted. Do you have to be accepted? Brethren, is that your excuse for not serving God and his family? Back then, I was shy to speak bluntly. I could have helped my friend had I been like I am today, extremely blunt. But back then, I just thought it. Today, I would have simply said, you don't have many friends because you're a loner and an argumentative grump. You always have to debate everything. Nobody wants to hang around with you.

Of course, nobody accepts you. You club them every time they open their mouth.

What's your excuse? You have to be friendly. You have to be family. You have to make family.

Proverbs chapter 18 and verse 24. Don't take my word for it. Proverbs 18 and verse 24.

A man who has friends must himself be friendly. But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. There are people in your congregation who will stand closer than your own siblings. How can we have that back in the Church of God in 2018? Because you don't see that much anymore. You do see it still. You do see it every once in a while. But you don't see it in total much anymore.

That friend that sticks closer to a brother should be in the Church because they literally are not just your friends. They are your brothers. So I would like to present to you something similar to what JFK presented to the nation in his inaugural address.

Ask not what the Church can do for you, but ask what you can do for your Church.

Complaining that the Church doesn't feel like a family is like everyone who stands around waiting for someone else to accept them as being family. When that happens, no one will accept anyone because everyone's just sitting around waiting. I hope that makes sense.

You've got to do something to make a family. How can you get that feeling back of being family in the United Church of God in 2018? Philippians chapter 2 verses 3 and 4. Philippians chapter 2, you know this well. Apply it to this topic. Apply it to yourself. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind, not making an excuse, not playing the victim, not saying, yeah, but in lowliness of mind, let each esteem others better than himself, not equal to. Jesus Christ said, a new commandment I give that you love as I have loved you. Well, how did he love us? He literally died so that you don't have to die eternally.

That's putting you over him, and me too.

Thankfully, I'm counted in that. Esteem others better than himself. Let each of you not only look out for his own interest. Of course, you have to take care of yourself, but not only but also for the interest of others.

How do you get that family back? Family is happy, and family is secure, and family teaches us how to become like God. How do we get the family back? You have to go first. You go first.

Be friendly. Be concerned for the needs of others. How was their week? What are their burdens?

How lonely or separated from others do they feel? Care for the needs of others, and find yourself right smack dab in the middle of a warm and loving, caring family.

Families that are loving bring happiness. Families that are strong bring security, and families that function point to God's way of life. Do you want to have that feeling of family again? Then make your congregation a family.